Re: and the venue is
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6006
Printed Date: 09 October 2025 at 9:40pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Re: and the venue is
Posted By: rug_nz
Subject: Re: and the venue is
Date Posted: 05 March 2007 at 11:41pm
At least someone remembers there are dads using this site and forum  , Thanks Busymum 
Good to see sexism is well and alive in the parenting area, if it aint had enough to be excepted doing a "mums" job, ya get left out. Now wheres my lighter and Y fronts, I feel like burning something  . ------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD 
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busymum wrote:Replies:
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 7:12am
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my Dh is in...and looking forward to it already...so hopefully you and some of the other dads can hook up and share war stories...altho not sure how my DH has managed to gain sympathy so well!!!! hmmmmmmm
I am sure most of the weekend will be all of us together...and not just the sat nite mums things...I hope where there are dads around - and i know not everyone on here has one involved...but where there is one that he can come and be involved too... btw my DH is BSDH - when he remembers his password...LMAO!!! |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 8:33am
I will drag my DP along  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 9:42am
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aw... sorry did not mean to miss the dads out. My DH will probably come although I haven't discussed it with him - he is more the 'go with the flow' person. ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 10:00am
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Hey I resent being called sexist!!!! Maybe if the males spoke up a bit more we wouldnt forget about you and besides you should be happy we consider you one of the girls
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 10:19am
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yep - I did appologise because I forgot about the dads, but to be honest since I have been in these forums I have not heard one thing from a DAD on here except to announce the birth of their child - on their partners behalf.
But will make sure I think about the Dads nezxt time ------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 10:21am
I don't have a Dad for my child so purposely 'forget' them as my revenge on males nation-wide 
(But well done you guys for being Dads  )
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 10:27am
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yep, will be dragging mike as he's the only one who drives.. so as long as there's some other guys there that's all good.
*goes to find post that tells me where we are actually going* ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 10:51am
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You may find that the males in this world are a bit shy to post because it's a bit of a mums club.
I am a stay at home dad and have been for about 8 months, 99% of parenting sites and forums are aimed at just mums, I have joined a number of forums but only post in a few because hardly anyone cares what I have to say. My post count is over 30 so I have been around but don't feel welcome to post. I don't think any one person is a sexist (sorry my2angels) it just comes from the fact that most people think I am doing a "mums" job and therefore cannot do the job aswell as a mum can. How many mums groups do you know of, then try to think of any dads groups. Sorry i am dribbling on just trying to let you know how I'm thinking. ------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 10:56am
What she said! And BS if your DH needs some help to remember his password I can email it to him -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 10:59am
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Ok so I didn't see your post first Rug_NZ...
I for one appreciate the job that Dad's do, and how difficult it is being a SAHD - my partner was a solo SAHD to my stepdaughter when I met him. It's a shame there aren't more Dad's posting on here, coz I'm sure there are plenty out there with something to say. But don't feel you can't join in the rest of the action - being a SAHD I;m sure you have plenty to contribute about what our little horrors get up to! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 11:09am
Just for the record - mums are shy to post too! I know I was... It becomes a bit of an "OhBaby Club" as opposed to a mums club... but I'm sure that is nothing compared to how a man might feel approaching the OhBaby club. (Oh and that is forum-wide... not just here) Also, personally I don't feel that a dads view is any less valid than a mums. We are all learning here! I mean I've only been doing this job for 2 years and it keeps changing every day!!! 
Sorry about this post - it's WAAAAAY off topic. Just wanted to let you know that we don't mean to exclude you Rug You can jump on it whenever you want and no one's going to be upset that it is a man posting! 
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Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 11:16am
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i think it would be nice to get the mans point of view in most aspects of childrearing, so wouldnt have a problem reading what the menfolk have to say. its just getting them to post that is the problem i think
------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe - my big 4 year old
and Jordis - 1 year old 
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 11:17am
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I dont think of it in terms of a male/female segragation! If you want to get on here and moan about your DP (as we all like to do) or ask about feeding probs, queries etc... then no one on this site is going to ignore you or think you shouldnt be here because you are a male. Infact I didnt even realise you were a male till you pointed out. Possibly in your network/area there may be an expectation that it is the mum who stays at home but i know at the playgroup I go to for example there are often heaps of men that come along and everyone is made to feel welcome. Its like saying we dont listen to the TTC ladies because they havent experiences motherhood yet, thats just crap but the difference is they get on here and put thier two cents worth in and they are therefor included as one of club. If your feeling a bit left out then join in a bit more and make yourself heard. I think I can safely say that on this site no one is going to care if you are a man as long as your happy to hear about periods, breastfeeding, annoying partners and all that other lovely stuff.
Oh and I dont think looking after the kids is a womens job, in approx 1.5 years my hubby is going to take over staying at home while i go back to work so we both get to experience both sides of the coin and he is really looking forward to it! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 11:19am
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A while back we did a promo to get Dad's posting on the boards, giving away prizes of $20 (I think, it was a long time ago!) and it worked - we had a heap of men (mostly DH's and DP's) start posting, but as soon as the promo was over they all disappeared.
I notice the EBB Dads Only forum is a bit bare too - but not being a male myself have no idea how to encourage them to post! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 12:07pm
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Yeah on EBB it is ment to be dads only but always gets posted in by woman.
I use a big US based SAHD forum and they only have 770 dads on that, so getting males to post in NZ is going to be hard. ------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD
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Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 12:23pm
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hello rug_nz first of all i think it is wonderful you being a SAHD!!! sorry we made you feel left out- it wasnt our intentions at all, maybe we shouldnt use the word mum for our meet it should be "parent" and the thing sat night open to all
although i am the at home parent (well the parent that doesnt bring in the pay) with my hubby's hours he is home for most of the day so we really share in fact i reckon he would do more than me at the end of the day (i dont drive etc..) i know he would love to be SAHD and we may share it more in the future when i return to work part time, but at the mo he is very involved (he even does kindy parent helps and preschool outtings )
keep up the great job, and sorry once again. keep posting
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Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 12:28pm
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Thanks mum2emj
I just found something that you should all look at and what I am talking about and also what Mum2emj just said about changing the wording. Look at the top two posts in Product Reviews ------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 12:57pm
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you could go through most posts on here and find the same thing and its not because we dont want men on here but because they dont want to come on here and thats thier/your choice not ours.
Must say i kind of feel like your judging us when you havent really made much of an effort to participate except to jump in now and say how rude we are. Ok i could be taking it all the wrong way but you havent really given us a chance to include you, nor has any other man. 34 posts is not a lot in the grand scheme of things, join in a bit more if you want to be included
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 1:01pm
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Sorry to sound like a cow but im gonna roll my eyes.
This is nothing compared with the sexism we face as women and as mothers (heck its not even sexism), the only thing that has changed in the years is that some men will stay at home with their children while the mother works but yet i bet she is still criticised that she is working and not at home raising the kids and cooking dinner, making sure the house is clean and that there is food in the cupboards. In regards to the topics in the product reviews, do u go in and place ur input much? How are we supposed to remember in this sea of women that there is a man swimming along somewhere? Perhaps having more say in topics may make you more familiar to us? To me it sounds like your coping with some PMS and need to take a breather dont fuss over something so trivial and maybe get more involved on here then maybe you wont have this problem! |
Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 2:16pm
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No sorry you have got the wrong end of the stick on my last post, sorry I'm not the best at putting what I am thinking into words. We were saying that not many men post on here, that is in no way the fault of the mums/ ladies that post in this forum.
I was just pointing out that if anyone came to this site and had never been here before, the first thing you do is read the top few posts in a few topics, so if you were a male and looked in the product one you would read about wanting ladies to write about books and mums can tell other mums about products. how is that going to make a male want to sign up. I have not said anything about any one person, if you have taken any offence to anything I have said I am very very very sorry. Oh and to make me want to keep posting I get told I have PMS and what I am saying is trivial. ------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 2:20pm
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I don't think Rug was being overly dramatic... making light comments doesn't deserve an attack back.
But that's just me. |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 2:57pm
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I can totally see how as one of the few guys who post on parenting forums you would feel overlooked and ignored. I only belong to a couple of forums and they are overwhelmingly female.
It would be very hard to break into and good on you for making us aware. I don't think it is sexism though, I don't think anyone on here feels that men shouldn't join in. I agree with Nikki that it is a bit of an OHbaby club and it does take a little while and a lot of posts to get to know everyone and become one of the regulars. We're all good people on here and this is hands down the friendliest and most supportive forum I've been on. ETA: Lol @ burning your Y fronts, you go boy! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 2:59pm
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not wanting to side with anyone, but i agree, rug doesn't deserve an attack back.
rug....most things we chat about here are all about our kidlets and what help we need with them....nothing to do with being 'women only club'. sometimes it's just easy to forget the couple of dads we have on here as you don't post much. the only way to get to know people is to talk to them you could start with a post about your kids, i'd love to see some pics...?------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 3:07pm
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I definately wasnt trying to attack anyone, just pointing out that if you want to feel part of the forum you have to actually participate in the forum or how would we know you are here.
More than happy to have a man around the place and it would be nice to get a males point of view on some of the things our DP/DH's do sometimes! In the first two posts (just since we are using that for an example) Emma hasnt put grandparents in there but we have a few grandparents that pop into the site every now and then and are welcomed just the same as everyone else. |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 3:38pm
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I wasnt attacking back i was merely standing up for myself and other mums on here that have done nothing wrong all they did was merely state something that had mums meet up this all could have been avoided had rug actually said something like what about us dads in the actual thread!
I agree with Robyn and i stand by everything she has said in regards to this. At the end of the day we are mostly females and we dont see males post so we dont base it around males and females. Its a rare thing to have a male at home. Like i said before and like robyn has said post more so we are more aware of you and perhaps over time things will include males in posts. |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 3:41pm
You posted complaining about there being a dinner/night for mums (nothing mentioned about the dads) to me that IS trivial all you needed to do is in the original thread post asking if SAHD were accepted to not turn it into what it is here. Im not gonna treat you any different to anyone else just because u are male. If you want to be noticed post more its simple! |
Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 4:04pm
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I was more having a go at the powers that be of this "Parenting" site, not any of the ladies here.
As you may have noticed I started a topic that would cause alot of talk. Get people talking and let me know how people are thinking. Thanks for your input please keep it comming. ------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 4:08pm
I think Vanessa has said it pretty well. I appreciate a guy's point of view and I think it is pretty hard for guys to get in a group - whether it be OhBaby forums or coffee groups. A lot of the things we talk about is breastfeeding, the way our bodies are changing during/after pregnancy, and even grrr-ing at our DH's! But there's a heap more other things that the guys can get into if they really want to... news topics, my DD said this cute thing today type thing, pics for sure! I think this topic is getting out of hand, but I'd like to think that if Rug (and other dads) gave us a try, posted pics, got involved in the ways they can, that we'd be a very welcoming bunch. ------------- |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 4:09pm
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And hey Rug if this thread keeps going, you might even make it to 100 posts j/k ------------- |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 4:11pm
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I would love to be able to get Cory on here but i think its something about no men on here.
Rug - Do you think that the forum on EBB for men only is a good idea? Maybe they could create one here so then we know we have you all here and who you are? |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 4:12pm
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Rug im sorry if i came across mean but i am not really one to go down without a fight also doesnt help that i myself have PMS I tend to be one who stands up for what i believe in and unfortunately you bore the brunt of it based on your post. Dont hate me im a lovely person really
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Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 4:13pm
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Do I get a prize for 100 posts?? ------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD
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Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 4:22pm
It doesn't really work because of the lack of men and the fact that some of the woman just can't help them selves to post in it when they know they are not ment to. And don't worry I'll fight back, I am holding my own in this pool of mums ------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 4:31pm
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haha all good then
Are you based in Auckland or what? You could go along to some of the meets etc get to know others? |
Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 4:36pm
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yeah west harbour,
I'm quite busy already 2 coffee groups, Playgroup, Pram walking group. If I have some time around when one is on I'll have a look. ------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 4:38pm
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I grew up in WestHarbour haha
All the best then hopefully we will see you post around here more
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 5:15pm
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See, you made it sound like you were cast out of society because you were a SAHD but you sound super busy
Im with Jezsika, nice person really just dont like feeling judged or made to feel guilty and always up for a friendly debate! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 7:42pm
Nope, but you get three stars and to be a Senior Member
You're welcome to come along to our big meet up at Botany on 21 April, I've posted the details under Community on the main page. We'd love to meet you and your kiddies! With regards to OHbaby! we've tried as I said to bring more men on board and it so far has been unsuccessful. We have Kebakats DH doing a pregnancy diary in the Dad section, and have been looking for a Dad to write a Dad's column but no one has volunteered! And we have asked a few times in our monthly email for Dad's stories for our Dads section and I think at last count we had 4
I'm open to suggestions on how to get more men involved, coz lets face it - without our men we wouldn't have our gorgeous kiddies, and Dads play such an important role. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 7:56pm
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I have just edited the top two posts in Product Reviews. Thanks for your input Rug_NZ - sometimes us ladies are ignorant! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 8:10pm
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I should get onto hubby about trying to put stuff down on paper. Hey maybe if there were Dad sections' in the topic'sa not nessarilly for Dad's only, but something that included Dad's. Like maybe in coping with infertilty you could start a topic about how men feel about it. Or Pregancy how men feel about what their DP are going through. I would say tho the only men we might get in here to start with are our DP/DH's so maybe us ladies should get onto them a little. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 8:28pm
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Ah, but do we really want our DH's knowing what we say about them when they're not watching...
Seriously tho - if the men want a thread, let them start one! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 8:32pm
| yeah to be honest i dont really want my hubby to become as addicted to this site as i am. first we would never see each other and secondly i like to be able to rant about him! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 8:36pm
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Luckily mine is very good at driving a truck, but knows absolutely nothing about computers - how convenient! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 8:37pm
Emma! Don't act like that isn't a special prize - I was really stoked when I got my third star, thank you very much! 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 9:06pm
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What I'd like to know is, how come we can get 3 stars at 100 posts, and still three stars at... well Nikki is a fine example - 4535 posts!!! ------------- |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 9:17pm
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haha we are so gipped!
I think hubby is to scared to come on here for the TMI factor haha he will stumble across something that may scar him for life hehe To sensitive if u ask me
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 9:32pm
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There is no four stars - I have no idea why, just the way the forums were designed... ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 9:50pm
| i like it when my Dh loses his password and cant respond to my posts...LMAO!!!! watching him rant over something ive said (esp MIL ones) is kinda appealing!!! Better out than in and at least he sees how i am feeling....sometimes... |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 10:11pm
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I guess you didn't tell him I offered to retrieve his password then... ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 10:16pm
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Haha another chance has raised its head haha.
I just read the OhBaby March Update thats arrived in my email (first time I have got one of these). Haha I'll shut it, if you read it you may understand what I was thinking. Sorry I think I better go sit in the naughty corner for while ------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 10:19pm
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 10:31pm
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crikey how PC do we need to get!
One minute for every year old you are in the naughty corner please
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 06 March 2007 at 10:38pm
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In our defence - we called them Mum's meets coz thats what they have been so far - Mums meeting up, with the odd Dad popping along to chase wandering toddlers.
And I think thats enough of this topic, point has been taken, and as I have said more than once - we are open to suggestions on how to make OHbaby! a more attractive place for Dads. If you have any ideas you can email them to me at emma@ohbaby.co.nz ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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