Some questions...
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Topic: Some questions...
Posted By: SMoody
Subject: Some questions...
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 5:19pm
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Okay before I even ask my question, I am not trying to start a nasty argument just rather a discussion as I am really curious.
I read and heard so much about mothers here in NZ that are high bend on having a good night ritual right off the bat and it is almost seen as you being a bad mother if your child doesnt sleep through at a really young age. Most of the moms also seems to be leaning more towards CIO method and lots of comments been made about co-sleeping being really bad and selfish ect. May I ask do you find that is the general trend? If so why? Is this from advice from other people? Community? Studies ect? Sorry me just being curious here and maybe it will explain some of the comments that I get about how I raise my daughter. And please dont take offence if you do use the CIO method or want a nighttime schedule ASAP and self-soothing from Newborn. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 5:34pm
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nah i dont know of many people to use a sleep method or push babies sleeping through at an early age- i mean most of us (including myself) look forward to a good night sleep, but i have never used any sleep methods as such just let nature do its thing.
one of my daughters does co-sleep with me every night, but not all night only from well into the night she creeps in without fail and quickly goes back off to sleep and my youngest is still in my room right beside me. |
Posted By: Lulu
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 5:37pm
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I think it is up to the individual how they raise their child with regards to sleeping, but I intend to try and use a routine as soon as possible. I have a good friend who raised her three children using the baby wise method and they all slept through the night within about 7 weeks. They are now 2, 6 and 8 and are wonderful well behaved well adjusted children, who still enjoy a routine. For me a routine is important as we run our own business and I need to get back to the office as soon as possible, and I think a routine will aid me with that. Of course I am keeping an open mind and realise that this may not work out for me, so then I will do whatever works! As I said though, I don't believe there is a right or a wrong, as long as it's done with love, I think each parent must make their own choice. ------------- Lou http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 5:42pm
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Hrmmmm maybe on certain forums. It depends where you go I guess... like on TNN there are a heap of co-sleeping and non-crying it out mums.
I support CIO for MY child... but accept that it doesn't work with everyone... and I definitely didn't do it from newborn - more like 10 months. And CIO is a last resort. I'd try anything else before doing that. I also don't think co-sleeping is a bad thing if you are into it. I co-slept unintentionally up until recently, and let me tell you... when I did want my bed back it was the battle of the century. So that is the only reason I'd have to disagree with co-sleeping, but that is negated if the parent is willing to deal with that. I guess attachment parenting generally is not for me based on the fact that I like my independence... and would like Hannah to have her own. But I would never say that attachment parenting is wrong full stop. ETA - I'm a "go with the flow" parent. If it works then I stick with it, if it doesn't then I change! I don't generally read up on 'parenting methods' but do get the gist of them from forums etc and if one in particular takes my fancy then I'd get into it - but I'm all about taking the best from each 
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Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 5:43pm
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It is interesting. For me personally, I know life will be easier if we are able to get bubs into a routine, so that is the way we will try to go. Of course it is my first bubs, so i may be dreaming - lol! This will suit us, our lifestyle, me probably returning to work etc. it won't suit everyone!
With co-sleeping, I have very little understanding of it, when I first read about it I was surprised as all the cot death stuff I have read is of course anti co-sleeping. My neighbours co sleep with their bubs and did with their first and can't speak highly enough of it. It isn't for us and that is cool. My view is that only a family knows what is best for them. It is like breast v bottle and disposable v cloth realy! BTW - what does CIO mean? -------------  
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 5:45pm
CIO = Crying it out. Leaving the baby to cry by themselves so they learn to go to sleep unaided. There are variations on this, like going in every 2 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 10 etc. Or just going in every 10 minutes. Personally I found that the more I went in the longer Hannah cried. But that's because I have a Devil Child  
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Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 5:46pm
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Doh - cry it out, of course. Well, from what I have seen with some routine things, there are ways to establish routines without going fully into the CIO method, that routine style is my first choice - i guess we will find out in a few weeks how well it works! -------------
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 5:50pm
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I get that it is a personal choice. I have friends with every kind of background and different ways of raising their kids.
I have just found that in NZ compare to back home there seems to be a higher emphasis on sleeping through the night and the actual different methods of doing that. I didnt read up about parenting before we fell pregnant at all. And never even heard of attachment parenting until McKayla was 11 months old. But have found that we are doing about 90% attachment parenting. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 5:51pm
The general idea I get from mothers (of preschoolers) is that they would all love their babies to sleep through asap! but it's still most common for them to wake at least once a night until 6mos+. So people get quite excited when someone else's baby sleeps from early on 
But... there has been a lot of bad publicity (via new mother's packs, mws, hospitals) when you're having a new baby, about co-sleeping. I don't know anyone who co-sleeps with their baby, I guess those who do co-sleeping keep it quiet because it's seen as so bad/risky etc, I guess it's a bit like tummy sleeping/SIDS in people's minds. ------------- |
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 5:55pm
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Wow - I haven't seen any literature about co-sleeping, good or bad! Wonder if my MW will even bring it up? -------------
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 5:57pm
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Well yeah, I guess a lot of people bend the truth a little when it comes to things like sleeping through the night, tummy sleeping, and co-sleeping as it is seen as "bad".
I say that's the effect of Plunket. 
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 6:01pm
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Well I co-sleep and dont see anything wrong with it. Having said that I always said there one thing I am not going to do is let McKayla sleep in our bed.
It ended up that way due to moving and her having night tremors at 7 weeks of age. And there is studies to suggest that co-sleep bring sids down. And then there is studies to suggest that is causes a risk. I want to see Plunket give me a cheek about it. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 6:46pm
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i think that there is a mainstream parenting philosophy based around let them cry, dont pander them, put them in a cot, dont breastfeed past 6 mths etc.... Plunket certainly helps perpetuate this parenting style as do a lot of popular baby "experts". basically i think that it is more a fact that NZ's parenting styles havent changed since our mothers and grandmothers day and if you look at the majority of plunket nurses they are our mothers ages.
there is a lot of people who are into attachment or alternative parenting, but plunket nurses arent generally and a lot of mainstream parenting groups arent either. then of course there are the people like you who do a lot of attachment parening type things but just dont label what they do. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 7:18pm
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I know the first question you are often asked when you have a baby that is a few months old is 'is she/he sleeping though yet' like its some big deal. In my antenatal class we were told baby should be sleeping through by 3 months which i thought was a bit harsh. Sometimes Addison wakes, others she doesnt and if she does wake i will feed or settle her.
As for co sleeping, personal opinion only is that i wouldnt do it, dont really like it. I think its pretty risking but also I like my space. I know of people who still cant get their 5 year old out of thier bed and i just think bugger that. My brother and sil had thier baby, themselves, the dog in bed plus they were both heavy smokers and i thought that wasnt really on. But as i said personal opinion only. |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 8:14pm
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I think a lot of it is culture based, I know while we were in Japan, friends weer surprised that Jake went to sleep at a reguklar time, rather than waiting until he was tired. Because it is so culture based, a lo has just been handed down from parent to parent. I'm a big believer in that each kid is different and you should do what is right for them. Witrh my second I kept saying "but Jake..(did it this way)" until my mum said "But he isn't Jake!" We don't often do CIO unless I can tell that they REALLY need sleep, more than anything else - and that nothing I do will help.
as for co-lseeping, once again, Japanese are VERY keen on this idea and several woman asked when I said that Jake was in his own bed, if I worried that he would be upset without me - grow up lonely or seomthing! Funny how other cultures do things!!! |
Posted By: Brenna
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 8:20pm
I don't do co-sleeping, but when Brenna was first born and I was still at the birth centre I couldn't get her to settle at night so they encouraged me to co-sleep. It worked wonders for her, but not me!! I didn't get a wink of sleep cause I was worried about squashing her  So I haven't done it again since. I do however like the idea of it, but I needed my sleep!
I sort-of followed the Babywise book. I took things from it that I agreed with and ignored other things. Brenna was sleeping through from 10 weeks and I put it down to having a regular night time routine. The best advice I got told was "It's not a bad habit if you don't mind it" (if this makes sense?!?!) i.e- if you don't mind co-sleeping, then no-one can tell you it is 'wrong'. ------------- My beautiful 2 girls...nearly 4 and 13 months
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 8:34pm
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I personally find alot of first time mums put alot of pressure on themselves and each other about the sleeping thing. I know I found it with my coffee group after I had Jake. Thing is, and this, once again, is just my opinion, little babies aren't made to do routine or sleepig through the night at a young age. You find yourself natrually getting into a routine around the 6 week mark, I think. I do love routine, though, not a fan of keeping them up all night until they want to go to bed, after all, we are the parents, not them.
For the record, Jacob still dosen't sleep through the night and I have given up fighting him about it, he will do it when he is ready (like the big bed, I spose..) We've done CIO, you need nerves of steel for it... Co sleeping, it's not for me, but each to their own. I sleep Charlotte on her tummy, which is a BIG no no, but thats how she likes to sleep, so I just don't tell plunket... I personally think alot of peoples comments about other peoples style of mothering comes under the heading "competitve mothering.." ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 10:10pm
OMG yes! That's one of the biggest mistakes I made with the gremlins - trying to settle them into the routine Maya had. She was awake for 3 hours in the early evening from newborn almost and slept thru from 7 weeks so I figured I'd do the same thing and they'd sleep well too but the opposite happened and they'd get overtired and scream for hours and hours (the reflux/allergies etc. didn't help there tho). I think with Plunket a lot of them tend to be older so brought up their own kids with strict routines and controlled crying etc. so they think that's how it should be done. I love my PLunket nurse to bits but I still take what she says with a grain of salt - at 4 mths she told me the gremlins were 'bored' with their milk
I personally don't subscribe to attachment parenting - I breathe a quiet sigh of relief at 7pm when all the kids are in bed and asleep - but that's just what works for us. With the gremlins attachment parenting certainly isn't an option coz of the sheer magnitude of time and attention they require on a day to day basis - if they didn't sleep well at night so I can sleep I wouldn't (and didn't in the early days) cope. With Maya it was more a choice thing, but we were incredibly lucky that she was just a good sleeper from day one (I wish I could say she is a good sleeper now but sadly no ).
But I can't criticise attachment parenting - as long as you're happy and baby is happy then it doesn't really matter which way you parent (as long as you're not beating the kids! )
I think you're right about the cultural differences tho Shirena, I don't know much about South Africa but I do know that here in the Maori and Pacific Island communities there is a lot more attachment parenting. A lot of Willie's family can't believe I put my kids in cots and have babies that will sleep anywhere. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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lizzle wrote:Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 10:19pm
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I agree with Annie, CIO can be very stressful (and nerves of steel I haven't got) ! I tend to use a bit of both, sometimes we use the CIO method because we know she's just tired and not sick or anything else, other times I will cuddle her because I will know she's pretty upset etc. and will only become more so if I leave her. I would love to co-sleep, but in the early days things were a bit topsy-turvy with my anxiety, sleep deprivation etc, so never had the opportunity to properly get into it (without going around the bend). I respect and admire those mums / parents who can though !
As for my view of Plunket and their recommendations, I have a bit of a "love / hate" thing going for them at the moment, in a nutshell I would say that their advice always needs to be taken with a grain of salt... (personal opinion) for example with Erin's massive downturn in formula intake, I was starting to get really worried, and Plunket's 600ml daily minimum kept popping into my head... got her checked out by my GP in the end (to rule out an ear or throat infection) and of course she is in tip top shape, and doc said that sometimes it just happens and not to worry about it so long as she is happy, sleeping, eating etc. Ok so, about routines in general, we weren't too highly structured to begin with... again I had problems with anxiety so struggled at first, but am finding it so much easier now, and Erin gets really ratty if the general structure of her day is too different. We are reasonably flexible about things though, stuff doesn't have to happen on the dot of xxx time (feeds, sleeps etc), which is good I guess seeing as we are on her schedule rather than her being on ours LOL Right, lastly - sleeping through the night. We knew this wouldn't necessarily happen early on, but I guess we were / are pretty lucky that Erin did start sleeping through when she was still quite little - considering it is quite common / normal for kiddies to still be waking at 1,2 and even 3yo. I guess even though sleep is pretty paramount for me in regards to mental health, I just get on with it if she wakes in the night for whatever reason. Ok so... that was the most massive, rambly post I have written in a long long time... so think I will get myself a glass of milk and head off to bed ! Edited to add: Silly random comment but... it just crossed my mind that the only thing I am *not* appreciating at the moment is waking up at 2am to pee, and then lying in bed awake for 20mins because I can hear the 1.5yo boy next door screaming his head off. Normally I would just nod right off again, and I do feel really bad for his parents - they are so lovely but a bit stressed out at the moment. (Wow, what a selfish cow I am )------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 11:13pm
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Emma SA is actually a wide spectrum of parenting. They encourage parents to make their own choices. They are not allowed to talk about formula until you yourself bring it up.
Depends in what culture and economic group you are as well.The biggest difference for me is that I found a lot of pressure has been put on getting a kid to sleep through from 6 weeks onwards. On the other hand I have found that people are more tolerant towards toddlers still BF. Now that you dont see at all in SA. Not many talk about it and they wont do it in public. Was just curious if it is a culture thing versus new studies and being adviced too. Guess it is a bit of everything. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 05 April 2007 at 11:27pm
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i co-slept with Xander(mainly cos i was a wuss and couldnt handle the cold midnight feeds in the winter hehe) for 6 wks,had my mum telling me i was making a rod for my back,well whaddya know,6 weeks old and he was in his own cot haha there ya go mum).I didnt do the cio or have a routine as i just went with the flow which seems to work for us.xander,right from day one,put himself in a rpoutine.4 hourly feeds 8am,12pm,4pm6pm 8pm 12am etc etc and i thought that was great hehe. I co-slept with Harms for same reason i didi Xander(wussy becs didnt wanna get outta her nice cozy warm bed.Harms co-slept till 4 mnths so tad longer than Xander but i again had no hassles getting her in her own cot.her feeds wwere mre 3-4 hrly and some days were 2 hrly so not as muchof a routine as Xander. Oh and i had decided i was demand feeding my children right from when i had Xander. ------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com"> 
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 10:14am
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This is a really interesting topic and just what I like about this forum. Now I have a long way to go ( I hope) but was wondering what do you all do with newborns? I think I want bubs in our room in bassinet initially. I have heard this is good for me not having to get up and go into another room like a zombie to feed but i also think he/she will be sooooo little to sleep all on their own in a big room. But I dont want to encourage a needy child either.
Will it be easy enough to move bubs into their own room later? If so, what age do most babies have their own room? |
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 10:55am
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Most of the moms also seems to be leaning more towards CIO method and lots of comments been made about co-sleeping being really bad and selfish act.
Personally I don't think co-sleeping is selfish at all. I actually considered it quite dangerous for someone like myself who is an extremely heavy sleeper that thrashes about. If you can do it - more power to you! May I ask do you find that is the general trend? I did CIO but not very intentionally I was going to give her 5 more mins and accidentally fell back to sleep and she woke up a few hours later  Although in saying that when that happened I was on the brink of going to let her do that anyways. I actually did see that there was a difference in her crying, she wasn't waking up for a feed she was just winging in her sleep.
If so why? Is this from advice from other people? Community? Studies ect? I have read a fair bit about it on Kellymom.com (although I don't go there often as it scares me because according to them I am slowly killing my child!) and there is this super non CIO person on EBB that is totally into passive methods their nick is Ted. I think the most interesting piece of information I have gotten is about baby's and mothers release a hormone called cortisol when baby cries which can attribute to PND in mum and dependence habits for children when they grow up. I must admit I do feel my stress levels increase when Olivia has got "the cry" on, but I don't know about the whole "You're a druggy cos your mother left you to cry" type thing. I just tried to find the article in question but do you think I can LOL no! Sorry me just being curious here and maybe it will explain some of the comments that I get about how I raise my daughter. As soon as people question the way I parent I get snarky and bitchy because who is anyone else to comment on how I raise my child? Surely they have enough problems of their own that they don't need to comment on my life? Surely they are/have ruined their own kids and now it is my turn? Both opinions I have voiced to people who have interfered with their "5c worth". Time to lay down the law girl and say "MY CHILD - not yours!". I actually had a comment last night about how clingy Olivia is (she is teething) "Oh well, Sara wanted her that way" and my retort "Damn right, she is mine  "
And please don't take offense if you do use the CIO method or want a nighttime schedule ASAP and self-soothing from Newborn. I think that parenting is about a thicker hide and bigger ears. It is Ok to listen and learn but not to take crap from people about raising responsible members of society. Be self righteous, if you know that you are right then stick to your guns. P.S you can't be that much of a bad mum, my daughter has just started saying "Oh sh*t!" at the grand old age of 11 months ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 12:07pm
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Jax!! I have missed you!
------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 12:41pm
Crimey - 11 months, obviously a prodigy if she is speaking so well so early! -------------
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 12:49pm
Yay! Hannah isn't the only one!
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Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 1:20pm
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It is just her picking it up from me getting exasperated every time the phone rings or the dog barks or someone knocks on the door She is a D, S, T orientated talker so she picked it up really well!! ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 2:47pm
Very well said! Oh and my Dad taught Maya to say the f-word when he was stuck in traffic one day and getting frustrated - she was 14 mths old ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 3:09pm
I agree that there is pressure to having baby sleeping through at a young age. People have been asking me that since Isla was about 6 weeks old. When I laughed and said "no way" back then, they were like " oh ok", ..now when I get asked, and I have the same reply,..I get horrified, confused looks. If I know the person I might elaborate about Isla's reflux etc, but mostly I just say no and let them think what they like! I now have a tough skin, and shrug of these comments, but I did wonder for a long time what on earth I was doing wrong, that she wasnt sleeping through. Despite plunket, midwifes and Dr telling me that its unrealistic to expect a breast fed baby under a year to sleep through, almost all the babies I knew around the same age as Isla (on here and from coffee group)were doing so long ago. I also often get asked by people when making appts/arranging to meet up etc,.."so what time will Isla be asleep/due a feed? etc",...well I have no idea!She sleeps/feeds/goes to bed, at different times each day! I have definatley felt that there is an expectation that my baby be on a time schedule. We do have routinues,..like she wakes from a nap, has hugs and a play till she is hungry, feeds, has another play, I feed her again then put her down when she tired (which is usaually when shes been up about 2 hours), but nothing is done at a certain time. Now that we know what was causing Isla to be so unsettled, and we are getting medical help for that, I now feel much more confident as a mother, and can stand up for how we do things, and back myself up. This was extremely hard to do for a long time when I was majorly sleep deprived, and we were having an awful time, and I was constantly doubting myself and my abilties because we didnt know what was wrong with Isla and we kept being told that she was healthy, just unsettled. |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 3:28pm
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I must admit that we had jake on a schedule BUT that was mainly because I was working and we were fitting it around us as a family. With Taine, getting him into a routine as fast as possible was necessary because he was the second child - fitting in with an active toddler. I think, had the circumstances been differnet we would have gone with the flow more.
as for the bedroom thing, Jake and Taine shared with us both until 6 months old. Once again, out of necessity rather than a conscious decision. The getting out of bedroom thing was good, but I found once we moved them ,we ALL got a better nights sleep. But that could have been coincidental as well. pros and cons, but I don't think that having bubs in the same room with create a "needy child". Jake was in with us, as I said, and he was anything but clingy - he used to fling himself into any strangers arms. I had visions of him running off with some crazy person |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 3:39pm
Well can only comment on what I did and what worked for me and why I did it. Maybe someone else can give you a total different perspective. I am someone that cant rest if a newborn is in a different room. Even if I had the best monitor in the world. I would be getting up the whole time, checking breathing ect. On the other hand I have friends that say they cant sleep with the baby in their room as every little noise they make in their sleep wakes them up and makes them worry if it is normal. I got used to all of that on the first night already. Co-sleeping is not for everyone. You should not be a smoker or a drinker or heavy sleeper if you bring baby in the bed with you. We had McKayla in her own cot from the beginning next to us. We moved at 7 weeks and my child that never cried use to scream and scream at night and we couldnt wake her. So she ended in the bed with us. At 3 and a half months she was back in her cot at 4 and a half months I needed an emergency op and she really got bad seperation anxiety. Then with all the moves and the move over here it was just easier to have her in the bed with us. I have friends that co-sleep. And they just moved the kid at age 18 months on a mattrass on the floor and at 2 or 3 making a big deal of their own room and moved them within a week there. To more them from a cot in your room to another room shouldnt be a problem at all as they are use to their cot. And had quite a few friends that moved the cot at 6 months out of the room. You have to see what works for your family and how your personality and baby's personality is. About the needy child. McKayla is a really self-independant child that does stuff all on her own. She always want to try new stuff and do it on her own. But when she gets hurt she is a bit clingy like any normal child. She is full of cuddles and kisses but that is just her personality from the beginning. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 8:02pm
I must admit I snigger under my breath a little when I hear people skiting about their wee babies sleeping through, like it will always be that way. Now I will admit, I feel happy that Charly sleeps very well at night, but I know that it won't always be that way (hence the snigger at the skiters) teething, nightmares, nappyrash, growth spurts etc all disrupt baby sleeping through the night. Personally, I think alot of people that say their kids sleep through either start their days at 5am, or tell fibs... ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 8:52pm
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i am already getting asked if she sleeps through...honestly what is sleeping through...I mean from 11-5 or 6 or from 2am to 6am or ???? - it depends but does seem to be a common question asked in NZ as in other countries i am sure. Hey - she is sleeping so to me that is fine!!!
As for cosleeping...Im against it. Have a cousin who coslept with her solo mum aunty from day dot (6 months as she was adopted from another country) and stayed there til she was about 10!!! Def a rod for ones back in many ways....have also known a few solo mums who didit - and more for their comfort / ease than the bubbas... but then i wonder after reading on here...what forms co sleeping is taking??? We have a friend who kicked hubby to another room so she can co sleep with bubs...and in hosp for one (really bad) night they packed Ella bella in with me...and i was so scared i would squish her but too tired to stay awake...and have since fallen asleep for about 30-60 mins twice when feeding her in bed....i dont count that as co sleeping tho. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 9:07pm
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I chucked Sienna in with me a couple of times in the early days so I could sleep with one hand holding the dummy in her mouth ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 10:07pm
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Jake and I used to cuddle up in the double bed that used to be in his bedroom when he was a bit bigger for that 5am feed, and both go back to sleep, I would get up round 8 and leave him inthere till he woke fo rhte day. Kinda semi co sleeping?? but not really... ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 10:17pm
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In the early days we had the odd nap together, and I kind of wish we could still do that now, but Erin seems to prefer her nice comfy cot to sleeping with her lumpy old mum
And I missed you too Annie Will have to send you a PM and skite some about my baby that always sleeps through *ahem*  (If 95% counts as always...)------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 10:23pm
I have Olivia on a routine, she needs it otherwise she just gets so upset  Reflux meds and what not! ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 10:27pm
Ella has said "what the hell?" She hears so many swear words that it must just be normal to her.. I don't want to make a huge deal out of it like my parents did.. swear words are used to express emotion lol.. I'm sure Ella is storing all the swear words she knows up to use them in the most inappropriate situation!------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 06 April 2007 at 10:28pm
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Fortunately for us Erin really enjoys her routine, although we try our very best to be as flexible as possible about it - for example today she woke just before 11, had lunch, bottle at 12, and then was grizzling at us and rubbing eyes etc by 12:40 Can't put my finger on what would have made her so tired so quickly, but even trying to hold her out until 1pm just barely avoided a complete meltdown... whereas most other days she conks out about 1:30pm. Point being, she was tired, so we put her to sleep... even if it wasn't on 'schedule'. I think if something changes, you just learn to get on with it even if you don't like it (I say this mainly because unexpected change often makes me quite anxious). ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 07 April 2007 at 7:52am
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In my opinion, I don't like the thought of co-sleeping for a few reasons. I feel that "our bedroom" is a place for us, it is our space and should stay that way. Also I'd be scared sh*tless of rolling onto our child and wouldn't sleep properly because of it. I also wouldn't want to go through the dramas of trying to get our child into their own bed when all they know is sleeping with mum and dad. DH's cousins are going through this at the moment and aren't having much success.
I also like the thought of them having their own bed and space like we do and getting them into a routine and knowing what that routine is. DH and I, and even our puppy love our general routine so it figures that a child would as well. But what works for some doesn't work for others. I have nothing against people who do the co-sleeping thing, it's just not for me. |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 07 April 2007 at 9:55am
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ummmm having said that Gabriella had marathon waking session from 1am til 5am (after sleeping from 7pm til 1am so not too bad there) AND i gave in and cuddled her to me and that was THE only way she would stay asleep this morning...and at 5am she "coslept" with me til 8am...have very sore arm now as she slept ON it as i was terrified she would suffocate if she rolled away otherwise (she is a wriggler!!).....did it outta shear desperation this am....!!!
BTW SHE is still asleep!!! humph alright for some! |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 07 April 2007 at 10:06am
he he - that makes it sound like you dont cuddle your poor baby... i used to love the look and feel of toby sleeping next to me, but it is a killer on the arm. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 07 April 2007 at 10:32am
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Yeah its a great idea until you wana roll over but don't wana wake them.
Jack has the odd sleep with us if he won't go back to sleep in the middle of the night but I try not to do it too often cos he doesn't sleep very long and I get woken up by him poking my face. We did controlled crying started when jack was around 9 months only because I was newly preg and felt like crap and would get so angry that he wasn't aleep so i would have to wait until I calmed down before I went in and most of the time he would be asleep. We do let him CIO now cos we are too tired to drive him round the block and haven't done it for ages. Jack still doesn't consistently sleep thru but it doesn't bother me and it took me ages to figure out the right amount of time to wait before I go in to him (too early and he mite of gone back to sleep on his own, too late and hes too upset to fall asleep) |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 07 April 2007 at 12:55pm
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Im a very go with the flow mother when it comes to Bays routine and he only has one really because he made it up himself!!! from a really early age and is still in the same routine!! i have tried to snap him out of it now he is older because hes still having 4 hours sleep a day and to be blunt - its getting in the way of trying to do things during the day! because he HAS to sleep! if i try to keep him awake hel just go to sleep with a mouth full of dinner in a rediculous place at about 5pm!.
I definately think that its personal preference and whatever suits your child best. I dont disagree with any of the methods mentioned and at some point have used them all myself such as the CIO method - we used that when getting him use to being in a big boy bed. It took him a week and he was right as rain and never looked back. We did the cosleeping thing when he was a NB till a few months old but not for any particular reason just how it turned out (im a very lite sleeper though). I guess you have to wage whether your child is going to be differcult to snap them out of the habit, my sister would always put her son in her bed and never let him cry and alway hickyhickyed him and now he is almost five and i kid you not - he is still sleeping in their bed and waking 2-3 times a night crying and wanting attention!!! i really couldnt deal with that but cant give her any advice because (judge me if you will but) my son was an extremely easy baby who slept 9 hour nights from day 1! and it has nothing to do with what we have done because my DH was exactly the same as a baby so he is just like his dadda.
I also know that Astin will not be the same as Bay so therefore would have to eat my words of advice that i had given to people which is why i try not to give advice in stuff like that. My only advice is to do what suits you and take plunket and the likes of - reccomendations with a grain of salt as there always seems to be 2 sides to the debate. |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 08 April 2007 at 8:33am
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I felt comfortable co-sleeping as McKayla was on my side and I was use to sleeping with vulnerable living things. Growing up we had quite a few birds that we rescued (baby birds and poisoned birds ect) and the only way to keep them alive is to have them under your shirt for warmth.
A light in a box and a warm water bag at night just didnt do the trick. They just died. So I use to sleep with them in the bed with me. (yeah yeah you might say gross but I couldnt let them die. I cried for months after a little bird died that I only knew for a day.) And not once did those birds get rolled over ect. Thats why I say totally depends on you ect. For me I dont see it as a rod for my back as I expect it might be difficult ect but will go at McKayla's pace. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 08 April 2007 at 10:19pm
LMAO...yeah kinda...I meant cuddle her to me in bed..as opposed to lying her out in her basinette....HMmmmmm. I was scared of rolling on her the entire time...and when i did get up she kinda rolled onto her face so had to be quick to move her back to.... |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 10 April 2007 at 11:34am
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OK I havent read what most have said but I co sleep with Zaara. I always thought she will sleep in her (expensive) cot from day one but it didnt work like that. She was always a bad sleeper and after 3 weeks of hardly any sleep...one day I fell asleep with her in my arm in my bed and she let me sleep....YAY!! After that it just was easier to get some sleep. I tried all sort but I just couldnt cope with CIO method. Specially DH...he just wont let her CIO.
I dont mind her co sleeping but yes I am thinking of moving her shortly as I plan to TTC #2 and there will be no room for all of us!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Nic01
Date Posted: 10 April 2007 at 1:04pm
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I never co-slept in the same bed as such, but I did have Matthew in a bassinette right next to the bed for the first 6 months. I think it was harder for me than him when the time came to move him into his own room! He made the transition from bassinette to a cot without too many problems. There have been the odd occasions when I've bought him into our bed for a feed or to calm him down & we've both fallen asleep, but I find it hard to sleep with him next to me - mainly because he's a real wriggler & won't lie still!! With regards to sleeping through - it was well after he'd moved into his own room. Maybe around 9/10 months he started to sleep the whole night. Just remember that lots of people have different ideas on what 'sleeping through' is - for some people it might just be when baby sleeps for 5/6 hours in a stretch like from 10pm to 3/4am & for others it might mean sleeping for 8 hours or longer.
I didn't start following a routine until Matthew was about 9 months. I just didn't like the idea of it at first & preferred to demand feed etc. However, after having started him on a routine, I find it so much easier for planning both our days & preventing him getting overtired. He now sleeps most nights from 7pm until about 6/7am. I think everyone has different ideas about what you should do & I personally think the only 'right' way is the way that works for you. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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