Hug your babies and never let them go
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6766
Printed Date: 03 October 2025 at 6:37pm
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Topic: Hug your babies and never let them go
Posted By: my2angels
Subject: Hug your babies and never let them go
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 11:17am
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My friends wee 5 month old baby past away last night. He rolled onto his tummy and must have suffocated. I dont know what to say to her and Im in total shock myself, cant stop crying. My husbands not home and I am trying not to let the kids see me upset so am hiding on the computer.
Why is life so mean. |
Replies:
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 11:27am
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Huge, huge hugs Robyn! Sometimes life really sucks! A close friend of mine lost her wee 6 month old boy, Kalen, to SIDS last year and it is the most horrible thing to have to go thru.
I wish I could tell you what to say to your friend, but truth is I don't think there is anything you can say. I remember writing a card for T and the words just came tumbling out but I can't for the life of me remember what I said. Life just sucks, and bad things happen to good people sometimes. More hugs, will be thinking of you and your friend and her wee boy. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 11:43am
That's awful. It really makes you realise just how vulnerable our little babies are 
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Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 12:01pm
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oh thats so horrible and sad. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: LockieandLiam
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 12:18pm
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That's really awful and sad. At times like this its really hard to come up with words to express yourself. I'd be at a loss for words to, just being there for her I am sure will help. Big hugs Robyn. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 12:20pm
oh my gosh! that sent shivers up my spine! and made me cry!!! Im so sorry that they have to go through this! life really does suck!!!! sometimes 
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Posted By: LuluBelle85
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 12:37pm
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I don't know what to say.
Bradley was such a sweet wee boy. I just can't believe it. I only met them a few times, but I'm sitting here with tears pouring out. My thoughts are with them. Robyn, let me know if there is anything I can do. |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 12:39pm
| Thanks ladies. Its horrible when your best friend is living your worst nightmare and at the same time your thinking thank god its not me as horrible as that sounds. We agreed I would come out and see her tomorrow, giving her a bit of space with her family but should I be going to see her today? I kind of feel like I should be doing more but at the same time dont want to crowd her and I know they are bringing him back today. |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 12:57pm
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I think there is no right and wrong thing to do in this kinda situation. Gosh, i can't imagine it. Poor family, and poor you too.
big hugs! |
Posted By: KH25
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 12:58pm
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I also went through this last year with a friend who lost her 5 month old. She was 6 weeks older than Ashleigh and we met in hospital as her little one was prem aswell. I had no idea what to say and like you was feeling so awful for her but also relieved that Ashleigh was ok. But as my frined said, even the people who just rang/text and said "I don't know what to say" did help and she knew people were thinking of her and were there to help if they wanted. I have kept in touch with my friend but for various reasons haven't seen her since the funeral. She is having an unveiling for the grave in a couple of weeks (would have been her daughters 1st birthday) which I'm going up tp Auckland for. Will be nice to see her again but, 6 months down the track, I still don't know what to say to her
I personally would wait until tomorrow to see her, just so she can spend the day with her son. Take care, its a big shock for you aswell xx ------------- Kelly, mum to DD, 19Jun06 (26wks 1lb15oz) DS1, 24Oct10 (32wks 4lb11oz) and DS2, 31Dec11 (32wks, 4lb11) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 12:59pm
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I'm not sure. T lives in Sydney and I was here when Kalen died so wasn't able to physically be there. I do know that some of our friends who were there tho did go to the house and just did things like watch her older two kids, get meals etc. I rang every day and spoke to her DH coz she wasn't up to handling phone calls, and I sent her a long email for her to read when she felt ready. I can see if I still have a copy of it if you like?
We all put in $$$ and did a big online grocery shop for them coz we figured that was more practical help that flowers etc. Someone else got her a statue for the garden and a framed photo of the ocean taken on the day Kalen was born (apparently there's a website that does them). ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 1:18pm
| Ooh good ideas. I just went out and brought her a loving touch rose but i love the idea of the photo on the day he was born. might have to track that down and the grocery idea is great too cos I know she hates that on a good day! She is doing really well, straight away she said to me dont worry, I dont know what to say so dont expect you to know what to say. She just so doesnt deserve this. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 1:29pm
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I'll ask T if she knows where the picture came from and get back to you, it's a beautiful picture of the sun rising over the ocean with a little plaque on it with bub's name and date of birth.
The groceries were a hit, we didn't tell them what we'd done so they were a bit stunned when the delivery guys arrived. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: MyMinis
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 1:30pm
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omg thats so sad, brought tears to my eyes jsut thinking about it, its a parents worst nightmare to lose a child especially so young.
noone deserves to go through this, im sure no matter what you do your friend will appreciate it even if your not sure what to say, just being there lets them know you care. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://tweetytweety85.bebo.com - bebo |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 1:45pm
why oh why is life so darn unfair!!!!!! bad things always happen to good people, it seems to be one of life's cruel rules and i'm soooo sick of it!!!
charli isn't far off bradley's age and i just couldn't imagine going through the horror of finding her in her cot like that. well, not matter what the age, but you know what i mean. ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Spudling
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 1:46pm
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life is cruel and so unkind sometimes it just makes me so sad and angry. My thoughts are with your friend and her family and you, it's not easy to be strong for others when your own heart is breaking too.
May I suggest to make some dinners that can be frozen or even take-away vouchers from some food shops near where they live. And yes, I will be giving my DD an extra big hug when she wakes up this afternoon after reading this xxx ------------- http://tickers.families.com"> 
http://tickers.families.com"> 
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Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 2:01pm
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Oh that is the sadest most awfullest thing to happen to anyone, makes me cry- and yes realise how lucky i am to have my baby to hold tight and never let go. Couldnt imagine how it would feel.
Hugs for you and friend ------------- Mummy of Two Boys B: 2004 K: 2007 |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 3:16pm
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I just dont know what say. How awful for this poor family. Your friend and her family will be in my prayers. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 5:52pm
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All I can say is sending big hugs to you and your friend!
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Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 6:03pm
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It is so tragic ehen anynone loses their baby. Big, big hugs to you and to your friend and their family. You are amazing becasue you care so much, and that is what people need when they experience so tragic a loss. -------------  
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Posted By: Lissy
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 7:23pm
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Thinking of you Robyn and your friend. Talk to you soon...... ------------- Harlan Drew DOB: 06.12.06 & Stepmum to Ethan & Christian, DOB: 25.02.99 |
Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 8:40pm
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Big hugs to you and your friend Robyn like everyone else has has it said it is such a tragic loss. Take care ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: EllenMumof2
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 9:06pm
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-------------  
 
Kalem 6! |
Posted By: Brenna
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 9:07pm
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Oh Robyn, that is so sad! I am thinking of you and your friend ------------- My beautiful 2 girls...nearly 4 and 13 months
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 15 April 2007 at 9:15pm
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thaTS SO sad. Think of you and your friend and family.
------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: Anna
Date Posted: 16 April 2007 at 7:54am
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I am sooo sad for this poor family. I don't even know what to say. ------------- Anna http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 16 April 2007 at 8:18am
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OHHH My. My heart truly goes out to your friend her family and of course you. Big big hugs I really don't know what else to say, just know you are in my thoughts. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |