Bottle Feeding
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6943
Printed Date: 25 August 2025 at 11:15am
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Topic: Bottle Feeding
Posted By: Peanut
Subject: Bottle Feeding
Date Posted: 23 April 2007 at 1:41pm
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I know breast is best etc but I have a real thing about breast feeding that I can't get my head around so with my DH's support I have made the decision to bottle feed...when would you tell your midwife this?
I have my first appt on wed and was thinking I should tell her then incase she's anti and I need to find a new one. -------------  
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Replies:
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 23 April 2007 at 1:45pm
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your midwife should support you no matter what your choice is, yes they will probably ask questions around your choice to find out reasons. just to see if it is something that they could possibly help with. There are plenty of reasons for not wanting to breastfeed ranging from going back to work to having had abuse in your past.. and it is your own choice to make. some people try it and hate it, others think they will hate it but end up feeding for a long time. it's up to you. if your midwife is all anti about it then i would suggest getting a new one anyway because you won't feel you can fully trust her and tell her things if you can't keep lines of communication open. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 23 April 2007 at 1:51pm
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I think I may have the same thing Peanut. The thought of breastfeeding makes me want to cry. My reason is because I have ultra sensitive nipples that hurt when it's cold, when they are touched and I just don't like the kind of pain that I have with them. I've never been able to stand contact between my nipples and well.. anything really.
But I'm going to breastfeed. I'm going to try my very very very best to breastfeed because I may be ok about it, I have no idea. If it doesn't work out then I'll bottle feel, but I want to try. So yeah, it's entirely your decision as to whether you breastfeed or not. Your midwife should be understanding. If not, get a new one. 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 23 April 2007 at 1:52pm
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I agree with Janine, your midwife shouldn't judge you for your decision. She is required to give you all the standard info on breastfeeding and breastmilk as part of the WHO guidelines on infant feeding, but if you make the choice to bottle feed then she should also provide you with info on sterilising bottles, mixing formula, different types of formula etc.
I'd probably mention it to her at your first visit and just see how she takes it. She may not worry about it too much initially as it's usually something that's discussed a bit later on, but if she has a real anti-bottle attitude then I'd definitely say look at finding someone else who is more supportive. My midwife was great about bottle feeding, in fact we got to the point where she was almost telling me to gve up breastfeeding coz she could see how stressed I was getting. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 23 April 2007 at 2:11pm
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i agree with the other ladies on here,the decision to breastfeed or not is a personal one and one that really just affects (effects?) you and baby.
Your midwife isn't going to be there for that long after the birth, just a few weeks or so, so even if they are anti bottle in my humble opinion its not really up to them to tell you what to do. When i had caitlyn i was at bethany centre for young mums and they were very anti bottle, which was hard because for the first couple of weeks i HATED breastfeeding and would have gladly gone and bought formular,but was too scared and felt forced to continue with breast, i was lucky in that after 2weeks it was easy and i continued till caitlyn was 13 months but feeling like a decision that should only be mine was taken away because of other peoples opinion put a dampner on the situation. Bottom line, its your choice how you feed the baby and as long as baby is getting fed thats all that matters . Good luck with the midwife 
*Caitlyns my girl * |
Posted By: MyMinis
Date Posted: 23 April 2007 at 2:39pm
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Your midwife like everyones said needs to be supportive of your decision.
I planned to b/feed Haleigh but when I struggled with mastitis and the fact they are flat/ inverted my midwife pushed me, jsut lucky my plunket nurse was really good she made me feel better about bottle feeding. so this time Ive told my midwife im going to try b/feeding but will give it up if i struggle again which she's ahppy about. No matter what decision you make its your decision and your midwife should support you 100% Good Luck with your first midwife appointment. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://tweetytweety85.bebo.com - bebo |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 23 April 2007 at 3:22pm
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I wouldn't expect a problem with the mw, she will probably ask your reasons etc, but try not to take that defensively but just because she is trying to help you (and your baby). Feeding your baby formula is not a bad thing, it's just not best, and I expect your mw will also want to ask you questions along the lines of, will you even give bf a go for the first month, even if you go to bottle after then, cause it will help baby's immunity etc. ------------- |
Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 23 April 2007 at 5:27pm
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Ive already told my mw i dont wont to do it, but will feed the colustrium. Told her last week.
Hope you have an understanding m.w and it should be no prob to tell her next time you see her. That way you can work out weather you need a new 1 or not. ------------- Mummy of Two Boys B: 2004 K: 2007 |
Posted By: emmaohara
Date Posted: 23 April 2007 at 5:51pm
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I would tell her straight away, mine was adamant I breastfeed or I would have to find another midwife, I did breastfeed for 9 months but felt sorry for those mums who (quote midwife) " want to go out for coffee" i.e bottle feed ( shocker aye!) but my midwife was a hippy!!
I definately wish I had given my baby a bottle a day from dot as the transition to bottle never happened which was hard when he couldn't be left. So do whats right for you, you know yourself best.
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Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 23 April 2007 at 5:58pm
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Yea some people can be very one-sided. As found out through my bottle days. ------------- Mummy of Two Boys B: 2004 K: 2007 |
Posted By: jamesmum
Date Posted: 23 April 2007 at 6:21pm
| I bottle feed from 6weeks (had problems with milk supply) and my mw supported my decision(sp?). I also found my mw gave me lots of good advice about bottle feeding. |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 23 April 2007 at 7:20pm
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i would tell her at your first visit incase she is very staunch opn her view, i gave breast feeding the flick after 4 days as i couldnt stand it my midwife was great or though made it clear that she thought breast was best however the plunket nurse i had was so horrible about my decision not to breast feed that i ended up asking her not to come back again.
as far as im concerned it was the best decision for both me and my daughter and i have no regrets on it. its your body and its up to you what you feel comfortable doing. i hate the thought of feeding my baby when i have visitors or in public so im not to sure what im going to do just yet with number 2. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 23 April 2007 at 8:07pm
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Catrad have you tried a light shawl over your shoulder while feeding? Nice and discreet ------------- |
Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 24 April 2007 at 1:23pm
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Another source of good advice for me has been Bottle Babies by Alecia (I think) Ferguson. Helped me with the practicailities of bottle feeding and also helped me rationalise why I had to do it ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 24 April 2007 at 6:31pm
i tried a few things with my daughter but in the end she wasnt getting enough anyway and it just felt like she was feeding every 30min and it was so painful, however this time im feeling more confident  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: MyMinis
Date Posted: 24 April 2007 at 6:44pm
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My karitane nurse through plunket was great esp since there was only 3 mums in our pepe group who breastfed she actually gave us information on bottle feeding etc, pity I never got it when I first started out.
It was great it explained everythign you needed to know about mixing, steralising etc. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://tweetytweety85.bebo.com - bebo |
Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 24 April 2007 at 8:26pm
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Not wanting to steer people away from Oh Baby but there is a Bottle Feeding Group on MSN.
http://groups.msn.com/NZBottleBabies/_homepage.msnw?&pps=k - NZ Bottle Babies There are so many people on there that have bottle fed their babies either through choice or not. I stopped BFing at 7 weeks for various reasons and felt very "judged". At the end of the day it is YOUR decision and one that should be supported. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 25 April 2007 at 4:11pm
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I've been debating if I should post or not and have finally decided to and hope it will be taken with the good intentions this is meant.
It is totally your decision to bottle feed and you should be given all the support you need from your midwife if that is the route you want to go and if she won't be supportive then I would find a new one. I would also let her know your intentions sooner rather than later. Having said that I would really like to encourage you to consider giving breastfeeding a go. I was really funny about breastfeeding as I normally don't like anything being done to my nipples but I found it fine - well until the pain kicked in and I felt I had gave up and started bottle feeding. It ended up being a decision that I really regretted and what I haven't shared on this forum is that I have just spent one month trying unsuccessfully to relactate. In the end Maddie had no idea what to do and we couldn't convince her nurse for anything and it does make me very sad and it's something I now can't go back and change. Anyway, I just wanted to share that but I do want to make it clear that whatever you decide I do hope you get all the support you need. Good luck. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Beanz
Date Posted: 25 April 2007 at 4:32pm
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Arna was breastfed until she was about 3 months old, I really should have bottle fed her from about 10 days old for various reasons - mainly the fact that after I had her (naturally) I had to have 2 operations to "fix" a few things and that ended up stopping my milk supply - However I was only 17 and nieve (sp) and all the people around me were pushing the breastfeeding thing - all not realising that the reason Arna was constantly crying etc was because she was hungry due to the lack of milk supply.
When I had to go back into hospital when she was 3 months old and I couldn't express enough milk for her I told David just to give her formula and I never BF her again after that. Having said all of that if I hadn't had the ops and if circumstances were different I may have BF'd her for longer, but then I may not have. Talk to Plunket and places like that, explain that you are NOT BF for your own reasons and would like to give your child the best possible feed available and what they would recommend (bottle brands, teats, sterilisers, formula etc) I know personally Arna was alot more settled once she was on formula. All the best !! |
Posted By: Beanz
Date Posted: 25 April 2007 at 4:36pm
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Oh I went a bit off topic... I would tell your midwife asap as you need a supportive midwife throughout your pregnancy (and first 6 weeks). The sooner you get that support the sooner you can get things in place for bottle feeding (buying formula every grocery shop to build up a surplus etc)
Also during your pregnancy you may need to be on medication to stop lactating?? (not sure about this I am just plucking things out of thin air!!) |
Posted By: BabyOnBoard
Date Posted: 25 April 2007 at 5:45pm
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I have a few friends around my age who have had or are having babies and a lot of them are surprised I'm breast feeding. I get shocked expressions like - Don't you want to drink? Don't you want to go to parties? But if you BF you can't hand baby off to your family.
I know this isn't the way all younger mums feel but I was amazed at how many thought like that. But each to their own I surpose. I want to BF but then again I've never tried it before so who knows if it's going to suit me or bubs. It's just a big waiting game ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 25 April 2007 at 7:52pm
This shouldn't be a problem, milk supply is created on demand and if your breasts are never stimulated post-birth your milk won't come in. This is part of the problem with premies and sick babies - they can't suckle when they are born so never stimulate the milk to come in properly and a breast pump is nowhere near as effective. If you choose to breastfeed for the first few days to give bub the benefits of colostrum then your milk will come in and you may need to look at ways of reducing it. Edited to fix my shonky copying and pasting  ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Beanz wrote:Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 25 April 2007 at 8:39pm
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BabyOnBoard... there's always expressed mummy's milk for occasions, or some people even do that when they return to work. ------------- |
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 26 April 2007 at 9:39am
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Thanks for all your comments. Spoke to my midwife who is completely fine with it. Explained why and said that I also knew that things could change but at this stage this was how I felt. Really supportive. Also mentioned meds as sometimes your milk supply comes in and you may need to stop it - after baby is born and decision set in concrete.
I am 100% comfortable with my decision at this stage. -------------
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Posted By: Faraway
Date Posted: 26 April 2007 at 10:51am
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NOt quite what you are wanting but here's my recent experience. I had my little boy 10 days ago and my milk has not come in properly. We were supplementing with formula and now I have decided to just express milk for him and top him up with formula as when he was on the breast he wasn't getting very much at all (judged by me expressing afterwards to encourage supply). My MW has been really supportive but it is ME who is a mess - I never thought I would feel so bad/upset/like a failure about BF. She also told me the herbal ways to increase milk flow and has given me a script for medicine - I have my fingers crossed it will increase as I would like to give it another go when he will actually get something..
It was a really hard decision to give him formula the first time when he was only 4 days old but he was feeding for hours (but not!) and it has been the best thing for him - now Mummy just needs to work out how to prepare 1 or 2 bottles, feed, express and get him down within a reasonable amount of time! Oh and might I just say that because everyone says "Breast is Best" you don't really hear of that many people going the bottle route - it is quite nice for mothers to have support for this choice too (since there's plenty for BF) |
Posted By: MyMinis
Date Posted: 26 April 2007 at 11:32am
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i agree.
it wouldve been nice to have had some support when i had to make the change to formula. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://tweetytweety85.bebo.com - bebo |
Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 26 April 2007 at 1:50pm
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Hey Faraway
I feel for you, I have just stopped expressing after doing it for four and half months to establish a 50/50 feeding regime for Fay, i will bump a thread I started in the Baby thread for you with lots of support and advice I recieved when I was in the same place as you. I felt and still feel so guilty for not being able to feed Fay fulltime and directly, I am finding it hard a the moment as I have only recently gone on to fulltime formula, I thought I had done all my rationalising when she was 6 weeks old, but all those old feelings hasve resurfaced recently since I stopped giving her breastmilk. Also strongly reccommend the book Bottle Babies, I got it from the library, its by someone Ferguson Take Care Claire ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com">
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