I feel horrible
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=7043
Printed Date: 05 December 2025 at 12:05pm
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Topic: I feel horrible
Posted By: caraMel
Subject: I feel horrible
Date Posted: 27 April 2007 at 12:42pm
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I feel like I am spending all my time growling at Ella lately. That or policing her so she doesn't hurt Ben or steal his toys or dummy.
I know that a lot of it is because she's still learning to share and doesn't understand that he can't play properly yet, it doesn't make it much less frustrating though, when I have to tell her the same thing 10 billion times a day. I love her so so so very much, but I feel like our bond is more difficult now. Of course I would still do anything for her, and she makes me laugh and want to squeeze her because she is just so cute, just as much as ever, but (I feel so guilty and sick just typing this) it is easier with Ben. He's not deliberately naughty or disobedient, he doesn't throw tanties or backchat, he's happy sitting still and doesn't wake Ella up when I've just got her down for a nap... How awful am I for feeling like this?!?!? I know it will all change as he grows and starts talking and exercising his own will, but right now I feel like I favour him over Ella and I feel so guilty for it. Anyway, I'll stop rambling now. I just needed to get that out of my head! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Replies:
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 27 April 2007 at 1:00pm
I havnt even had my baby boy yet but i soooooo know how you feel!!! my big boy is driving me nutts and all i do now is growl him!! and im not sure whether is my preggy hormones or his age/stage pushing his luck!!!! i dont feel like i have a close bond at all with Bay anyway so this just makes it sadder!! having to growl him and feel like such a meany all the time!!! 
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Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 27 April 2007 at 2:08pm
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I don't have another child but I'm finding my Ella hard work too.. she can be very whingy and cries alot.. wakes us up every night by getting into our bed/calling out at night etc etc.. so I don't have much energy for her during the day Her non stop chatter drives me absolutely nuts some days. Right now she is in her room for a "rest" (doesn't sleep during the day anymore) because if I hear the word "mum-mum" one more time in the next half hour I'll scream! Vent over, but I know how you feel! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MyMinis
Date Posted: 27 April 2007 at 2:11pm
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Im the same. me and haleigh lately are jsut at each other, Im growling at her repeatedly, and it never gets through but then it makes me feel so incredibly guilty afterwards. I think its their age, and also a mixture of these pregnancy hormones to, some days shes been so bad i jsut sit there and cry cause i dont know what to do and im sure my neighbours think im an ogre.
but then we have the really good times where shes so perfect. Im jsut hoping she settles a little bit once James arrives. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://tweetytweety85.bebo.com - bebo |
Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 27 April 2007 at 4:06pm
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well if it helps i could have written that post! think we must be genetically engineered to protect and nurture our babies more. xanthe and i used to be great buddies, but now i have to work at making some time with jsut the 2 of us, and without me yelling at her for making a mess, or someother thing!
i hope it will pass, i dont know. but i jsut wanted you to know you are not alone in this! for me i think it is because i have to share xanthe with everyone - dh, grandparents, kindy etc. but at the moment i am jordis's world, and i am savouring it as long as i can. she settles only for me, only i can feed her and nourish her, she smiles best for me. all those things make it harder to keep the relationship with the older one intact. of course we still love our other kids, i adore xanthe and am so proud of her, but there is something pure and innocent about watching a baby discover things for the first time, rather than listening to "why" for the billionth time! dont worry, ben will start getting into things and you will want time out from BOTH of your kids equally  ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe -  my big 4 year old
and Jordis - 1 year old 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 27 April 2007 at 5:09pm
ahhhh another mum who is going through the "why" stage  lol
A thought about Ella... when things get really rough for me and Hannah is being particularly disruptive, I put her to bed/bedroom for 1/2 hour with one or two books, she chooses which ones. That way we both get a bit of time-out and every now and then she'll even fall asleep and I'll suddenly click why she's been so tough to deal with  . The next day or later that afternoon I try to put aside some really good quality time with her (to rule out the attention deficit possibility) and teach her something new. Sometimes it's hard, but if I sit down with her for a good 1/2 hour and don't interupt myself things go so much better that day.
Hopefully there's some practical stuff there that will help you out. ------------- |
Posted By: MyMinis
Date Posted: 27 April 2007 at 6:41pm
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i put haleigh into ehr room when she gets to much she'll scream for a while then i hear her playing nicely, she calls to me when she wants out, i can do my housework then.
but then somedays it doesnt work, and she'll jsut scream hard otu the whole time. but she is teething though so she must be in pain to eb as bad as she ahs been. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://tweetytweety85.bebo.com - bebo |
Posted By: Anna
Date Posted: 27 April 2007 at 8:05pm
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Mel! I absolutely know how you feel!! I am really struggling to enjoy Quinn right now too!! Seems like the only time he is not driving me nuts is when he is asleep. ------------- Anna http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Anna
Date Posted: 27 April 2007 at 8:06pm
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(And give it about two years and we'll be saying the same about the little ones! Fingers crossed this 'phase' passes quickly!) ------------- Anna http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 27 April 2007 at 8:43pm
Teehee, I wish I could say it does but my Maya is driving me mental atm! But I can say it's all swings and roundabouts - she's really good for six months or so, then feral for a few weeks, then really good, then feral and so on. So I've learnt to make the most of the good times so I can not stress about how much I scream at her during the bad ones. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Anna wrote:Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 27 April 2007 at 8:44pm
Oh, and in a couple of years when Kaia and Benjy are driving you nuts, I will have TWO of the little horrors!  And I can just tell that impish lil Sienna of mine is going to be a real wench. I'm soooo looking forward to it *drips with sarcasm*------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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