Do I have to be weighed?
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=7186
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Topic: Do I have to be weighed?
Posted By: mamanee
Subject: Do I have to be weighed?
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 10:12am
My old midwife in Thames never weighed me, but the one I've had since 28 weeks insists that I be weighed everytime she sees me and if I've lost weight she says things like 'Oh that's really good, have you been trying?'. I am big already, but I am growing a baby. She said I shouldn't put on any weight at all because I was already overweight.
Can I say no to being weighed? I don't like the stress of worrying about what she's going to say each time she weighs me and then feeling bad about myself if I've put on weight because I know she doesn't like it.
I've only got a few weeks left, I just want it to be a relaxing time and this does not relax me.
Advice is much appreciated!
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Replies:
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 10:40am
Crikey - I have seen your belly shots and you are NOT a big girl!
I would tell her that you aren't wanting to be weighed as it is stressing you out. I guess the thing is that you have such a short time left and some people do actually lose weight in the last week or so (sign of bubs coming apparently!) So you might want to know about htat. Also if you put on a lot of weight suddenly tat can signal extra fluid and stuff like that. But if it is stressing you then it isn't good for you or baby!
I think it is really bad that she congratulates you when you lose weight though. Mine says that my weight gain is good becasue I am keeping it really low (believe me, I am much, much bigger than you!), but she would never suggest that I try to lose any!
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Posted By: hailstones
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 10:41am
I was never weighed during my pregnancy - my M.W told me I had enough to worry about without having to worry about the weight I was gaining - sometimes I would jump on the scales and check but I never worried too much about it.
A friend of mine put on 32kgs whilst pregnant and felt so bad about it she lied about her weight to her M.W (scales where in another room and she would weigh herself and come back and report it to her m.w), she was the same - it only depressed her. I think we are all different and all put on different weights - no such thing as an 'average' weight gain in my mind (I put on quite a bit of weight too by the way).
I would ask you m.w if you HAVE to - and tell her its making you feel horrible! You shouldn't have to stress over it!!
ETA: You definatly shouldn't be worried about LOSING weight whilst pregnant anyway!!! Its not fair of your m.w to make you feel this way
------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 10:46am
I was thinking about lying today when I see her, as she doesn't see the scales when I stand on them. But then I think 'that's not right, I should say something'.
I have only put on about 10-15kg so far, but I know I've put on heaps lately as I've been really really hungry.
I tried to say no the first time I saw her, but she was err quite forceful.
Thanks ladies, I will talk to her today about it.
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Posted By: YvetteandElla
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 10:54am
eomachine you are not big, tell you mw she needs glasses.
I am nearly 24 weeks and have put on quite a bit of weight,
I started at 63kg's then went down to 60 as I was sick and am now 69.5kg's.
I was looking a pics of my honeymoon a year ago and where has that skinny bitch gone I want her legs and my face was so much smaller.
I know it is normal to gain weight but why do we need to gain it on our bum thighs and face is this helping the baby
IF I were you eomachine I would just keep being weighed as it has its purpose and remember you are beautiful and pregnanat and NOT big
------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 10:57am
It does have it's purpose, you're right, but I don't feel it has a purpose anymore. I know my body well and if I were to be gaining heaps of weight due to fluid, I would let her know. I have scales at home too.
I am definitely a big person, I'm a size 16-18 and I weigh over 100kg at the moment.
MW said when women are over that 100kg mark they aren't allowed to put ANY weight on. Not sure if that's right or not..
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 11:05am
Ummm... I don't know for sure, but if my MW told me that I'd tell her to jump. For heaven's sakes, while a woman is pregnant, her weight shouldn't be a worry - whether or not baby is healthy is the important thing. Fine, I could understand it if a pg woman put on a LOT of weight, then you'd want to watch it, but to me it sounds like she's putting unnecessary pressure on you which would also affect bubs. This is just my opinion, I am by no means an expert!! But yeah - women over 100kg shouldn't put on any weight sounds like a load of old baloney - you're trying to grow a healthy baby, not starve yourself and bubs being healthy is what matters.
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 11:34am
it's good to have done to make sure you aren't putting on extra fluid etc. however.. if you read ANYWHERE.. you wil find that the recommended weight gain during pregnancy is 10 - 15kgs.. which is what you have done. maybe for extremely overweight women it would put extra health risks into the picture for them.. however, i am sure you are not falling in that category at all!
and yes.. you will have put on weight more steadily in the last few weeks and that will continue, so too right that you will be hungrier as well.. the last 4 - 6 weeks are the time when baby grows lots lots bigger, and lays down all their brown fat underneath their skin and gets nicely chubba, which also helps them control their temperature once they're out of their mummy-incubator, hence why scrawny babies like my two had a few temp probs.
If you don't want to be weighed, tell her that you feel uncomfortable about it, and ask her if there is any specific reason she has for insisting that you do it. If you aren't showing any signs of risks for pre-eclampsia, then tell her this is the last weight you want done unless you start showing any signs of danger - i which case you will have this last one to go by.
Some midwives do get stuck in the ways they do things. others are more easy going. sometimes, there isn't any really specific reason apart fromt he fact that it's just what they've always done.
------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 11:43am
Thanks Janine,
I am definitely going to mention it to her today when I see her.
She's always testing me for pre-eclampsia cause of my borderline BP, but I never have any of the other symptoms and my bloods always come back fine. If she insists or her reasons sound good, I will just get it over with as it's not the end of the world to be weighed. It's only for a few more weeks anyway (maybe less!)
Might just have to go and eat some chocolate afterwards.
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Posted By: ellabellame
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 11:46am
i was never weighed when i was pregnant. my mw said she didn't weigh her clents because even if they did put on heaps of weight, there wasn't much they could do about it until after the baby was born so there was no point in worrying about it. you are not too big! you are growing a baby in there, it's normal to put on weight and 10-15 kg is only the average so it's still normal to put on more than that.
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Posted By: MyMinis
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 12:09pm
i have never been weighed in both pregnancies, my midwife (both) have said its not necessary at all, they can tell if babies growing well jsut by feeling, and can send for scans if worried.
also we all carry differently.
------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://tweetytweety85.bebo.com - bebo
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Posted By: MyMinis
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 12:10pm
and oh yeah if anyone told me i was overweight id slap them, your not over weight renee your bump is lovely.
im not small prepregnancy but i was happy thats all that should matter.
thought Id add I was at least 85kg prepregnancy so id be pretty close to if not over 100kg right now.
------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://tweetytweety85.bebo.com - bebo
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 12:12pm
I weigh myself at every visit. I've just got over the number. I knew from the start I'd never like any number the scale told me I weighed lol. But I like knowing if I've gained tons in between visits or what I consider a "normal" amount.
I've gained 20kgs already and I'll probably just top 100kg by the time this guy is ready to come out but who cares lol.
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 12:26pm
You don't have to be weighed - my mw's never bothered with it because the other tests they do are far more indicative of how things are going (that's what they told me).
Average weight gain is 14kg and 500g per week for the last couple of months. A lot of people stop gaining weight 2 weeks before the baby is going to come but that's not worth getting weighed every week for.
lilnutnut wrote:
I was looking a pics of my honeymoon a year ago and where has that skinny bitch gone I want her legs and my face was so much smaller.
I know it is normal to gain weight but why do we need to gain it on our bum thighs and face is this helping the baby |
Nutnut the face weight is all fluid and goes pretty soon after baby is born - I don't like it either but it's nice to know it doesn't always hang around! (Now for this tummy though... )
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 12:40pm
argh i know - i hate that little pouch you get.. it just doesn't go away. Although saying that. My tummy is looking flatter already. I never thought i'd be sad to see the end of that... mike's just waiting for me to loose the wonderful gain in cup sizes i so quickly gained.
------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 12:45pm
My midwife never weighed me, the OB did, but if I'd said no I'm sure he would have let me get away with it.
I put on 23kg having the gremlins, lord only knows how since I threw up every day for 32 weeks, but somehow.... I was too heavy for the OB's scales at m 36 week visit, it kept reading 'error' - but I knew how much I weighed coz my scales at home could cope (so I wasn't thaaaaat fat!)
If you have an epi in labour the anaesthatist will ask how much you weigh to get the dosage of anaesthetic right, but they shouldn't be jdgemental about it. I'm sure I'm not the biggest woman he's ever put a line in (altho I must be up there somewhere at full term with the gremlins!)
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Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
 The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 12:59pm
Posted By: Spudling
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 1:01pm
My MW never weighs me but I always do at home anyhow. SO far I have put on 16kgs where as with DD I put on 25!!
The other night on the telly a baby elephant was born and they said that it was 81kgs, and I said hey thats the same as me....a few minutes later my 5 year old nephew went..."so Aunty Charlotte....does that mean you weigh the same as an elephant? Wow thats heavy!"
I kind of walked into that statement didn't I!
Try not to worry about it, sounds like you have done really well with the amount you have put on and you are so close now unless you bloat up with fluids and gain like 2-4kgs in one week it shouldn't be an issue
------------- http://tickers.families.com">
http://tickers.families.com">
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 1:43pm
I was weighed at my very first OB appointment (14 weeks) and never since (phew!). I was about 82 prepregnancy and so far I've only put on 6kgs. I think I have been eating better so would normally have lost wieght but eating more for bubs so gaining....(that doesnt really make sense, but it did when I thought of it)
If my MW said that to me, i dont think I could be held accountable for my actions and where the scales end up.
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Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 1:47pm
Hon, I am over 100kg and my mw has never said anything about not being allowed to put weight on! All she has said is that it makes the birth a whole lot easier for bigger women if they can minimise the weight they put on, by remaining active and eating sensibly - and not doing the 'eating for two' thing. I think what you have gaines sounds really good. your MW needs a slap.
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 2:12pm
You have to be weighed as an excessive amount of weightgain all of a sudden is a sighn of other trouble. But I would actually tell her that she is totally stressing you out and that you would rather her not say anything about your weight.
------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 2:22pm
I really shouldn't have worried so much as I just went to see her now and she was totally understanding and said the last thing she wanted to do was stress me out and I don't have to be weighed if I don't want to be. She said I'm nearly at the end now and anything she can do to make it less stressful for me, she will.
So yay! I'm happy now. Thanks everyone. It was good to be able to get it out and let her know how I was feeling about it.
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 2:30pm
Just also want to say. My gynae kept on telling me that I should just eat 6 small meals a day and to drink loads of water and eat an extra portion of fruit compare to what I use to it.
Due to PCOS she knew it would be hard to lose my weight afterwards and didnt wanted me to get obsess about it. And she was so good about it. I picked up 13kg through out the pregnancy and was overweight to start off with.
Just go with how you feel but I will tell her that you dont want to hear about losing weight ect you just want to concentrate on your baby.
You guys are seriously making me wish I had my gynae for the next pregnancy. You are scaring me with all this midwive talk. I can get really bitchy with some extra hormones so they better watch out for me.
------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 2:32pm
Glad you feel a lot better.
------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 3:41pm
With Andrew I was weighed every so often, but once I got to 30 weeks I was weighed every week and then one I was 36 weeks daily. I developed pre eclampsia and my weight gain was a sign as I was retaining fluid (the weight gain). With Josh I probably should of been weighed but never did. I did weigh myself every so often at my parents place for a laugh. When I developed pre eclampsia with Josh they measured my fluid intake and out put to work out the retaining side of things.
With Andrew I gained about 35kgs I went well over 100kgs so for your MW to say that is rubbish.
------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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