Naming baby
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=7192
Printed Date: 03 May 2025 at 9:25pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Naming baby
Posted By: mum2paris
Subject: Naming baby
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 1:16pm
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Was just wondering, how many of you ever actually named your babys that you lost. We had pretty much set our sights on naming our baby Sage, either way, for girl or boy. so we are sticking with that.
You don't have to share if you don't want to. Just wondering what others have done. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Replies:
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 1:18pm
Never named the first one, to be honest was more interesting in pretending that it never happened at the time 
But we named our last baby Te Anahera Pono after a dream I had, and when I ever get around to it I am going to get a tattoo for baby. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 1:29pm
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I have always wanted a tattoo but could never find one or think of anything i wanted. However after we had our second scan, we were sitting there one night and it came to me. Somehow, monarchs have been incorporated into alot of our lives.. our garden is full of them constantly they come and land on the swing when the girls are on it. So i thought i would get a tattoo done of two monarch butterflies on a branch with a chrysalis on it to symbolise the stages of our children. it just popped into my head as the right one to get.
I also think it's because i want one that no-one needs to know about.. in other words.. if they see it normally they might think "oh, that's nice, how pretty" but they don't need to know the meaning unless i chose to share it with them. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 1:29pm
| not really but i always think of them as my angels hence the my2angels which also refers to my two living angels aswell as the ones I lost. |
Posted By: sally belly
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 1:30pm
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We didn't name our lost baby but I did think about it. I think it is a very nice thing to do. -------------    
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 1:37pm
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I like the butterfly idea Janine, very symbolic.
When I get the time and money I am going to have the one of the gremlins names linked to a smaller tattoo which is about an inch below it with a design incorporating carp and the ocean which are symbolic of family and togetherness. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 1:41pm
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yeah Im getting my tattoo on friday and its basically stars down my back with the kids names in it, I chose stars because they are also for the twins. I always think loved ones who has passed are now stars so I kind of thought it represents them all. I was thinking of getting the chinese symbol for angel in one of the stars but think it might look a bit funny.
Annnnnd after just posting my first reply on here I was having a nosey on the treasures forum and someone there has joined up calling themselves my 2 angels I know its silly but I feel a bit annoyed about it to be honest, mainly cos as i have only just mentioned to me that is my lost babies and now someone is using the name!!! |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 2:11pm
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I know what you mean about having your name "nicked" Robyn cause on another forum I looked into, someone else is "busymum" and apart from thinking "I said what...?" every time I forget it's her not me, it feels a bit strange. And that's without the extra meaning your name has.
Janine we never named our "girl", probably because we hadn't known we were pregnant first. But my SIL named her daughter Sarah Hope. I think that would have been her baby's name as well. They have a framed name and dates on their mantle. I'm no fan of needles but for the tattooing kind, I really like the monarch idea. It's almost like "the baby who has flown away like a fairy" in my mind too - just from reading about the butterflies in your earlier post. I think that's really lovely. ------------- |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 2:14pm
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that's ok to feel annoyed. we all know the naming saga i have had with my little sis.. i mean i wouldn't mind in normal circumstances but each time she has ONLY chosen the one name we had picked for a boys name.. to use as her little boys names.
I am worried to tell mum that we have named baby. I do not know if she ever told carrie what we were planning to call it anyway. i spose hopefully she wouldn't be so cruel as to name her baby Sage knowing that's what we called ours. Better to tell her i spose though in case she decided to use it.. I think that would be the last straw. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 2:20pm
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I was more obsessed with trying to find out why had the mc and why my periods was non-existent. I think because it was so early for me as well that I just never did it.
I also feel that a part of my baby is in McKayla. I have friends (another forum for mc's) that have made charms for their bracelet for every baby that they have lost. Something special and only they know the meaning of it. As well as a special Christmas ornament for each baby. Others have name for all their angel babies ect. Others even plant trees or special flowers. I just get too sad when I think about it but since having McKayla I dont think too much about it until I think of ttc again. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 02 May 2007 at 6:57pm
| I think I said before, when my friend was younger her parents lost a baby and let her name him, she was three at the time and called him rainbow |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 04 May 2007 at 10:50pm
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I lost a baby at about 8 weeks three years ago. I didn't know I was pregnant until the miscarriage, but I still grieved for the baby. I've always felt that it was a boy, and I named him Jesse. Nat was never as sure as me that it was a miscarriage, until he heard my midwife with Xavier call it one based on my description of what happened. He recently said that Jesse was a good name. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 05 May 2007 at 1:55pm
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I had a very heavy and clotty bleed with Jacob before I knew I was pregnant (well, the day I found out) and I actually thought one of the clots looked like a baby (I t=know this is TMI) I cried and cried, becasue I thought the baby I suspected I was having was gone. My HGCs went from sky sky high to very low, so it was a whole weekend of not knowing. Of couse, it turned out ok, but I still think that Jacob was a twin, and in my mind, that baby was Matthew. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 05 May 2007 at 2:09pm
| I had a MC at 14 weeks 6 yrs ago and we knew it was a boy so we always refered to him as "little boy blue" not sure why or even how it came about but yeah. I also had a MC last june at 6 weeks and we thought it was a gilr so had nicnamed her "Lily pie". |
Posted By: emachan
Date Posted: 02 June 2007 at 10:43pm
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We haven't named our baby that we lost - I'm not sure if I am in denial that it never happened, or just don't want to name it. I was given a yellow living gerbera plant the day we found out on our ultra-sound that baby had no heartbeat, so I will treasure that and remember baby with that! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD#1 Sept 08 DD#2 Oct 09 |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 10 June 2007 at 4:25pm
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Emachan
I know the feeling..we found out at ultrasound too... we never named her(I'm sure it was a her) that's why I'm terrified about this scan... but I think it's each to their own...whatever helps you heal and remember.. |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 14 June 2007 at 1:04am
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We are planning to get a special container and then bury that container in a beautiful pot beneath some calla lillies. i love calla lillies and i received heaps of these from workmates etc after loosing baby, so ithink that's about right. I have baby, stillin it's container, inside the brown bag, and have not looked, i don't know if i ever will. I know it's there, that's alli need. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: Katherine
Date Posted: 28 June 2007 at 6:01pm
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mum2paris, reading what you wrote about the monarch reminded me of something I learned when I was studying art history. Many cultures believe that butterflies represent the soul or spirit, and in art, that is what butterflies are often symbolic of. I've also read that Maori believe that the soul returns to earth after death as a butterfly. I think the idea of a butterfly tattoo is quite beautiful, and very fitting. |
Posted By: Karin1
Date Posted: 04 July 2007 at 10:03pm
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I had a MC at 11 weeks in February. We planted a tree in the garden in rememberance.
I am now 7 weeks and keeping fingers, toes and legs closed!!! |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 04 July 2007 at 10:08pm
All the very best Karin!!!  ------------- |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 05 July 2007 at 3:03am
| I know what you mean about not looking at it Janine. I didnt but then when I buried them I accidentally saw (kind of hard trying to bury something with your eyes shut) but I was really upset at how they looked. They were still eggs so its not like they looked like little babies or anything but just actually seeing them and now having that mental picture is horrible. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 06 July 2007 at 1:56pm
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It actually made me feel better to see 'baby'. I mean, it's more a collection of cells than a baby, but being able to hold it and touch it and see it made the whole thing seem real. The same with the ultrasound films, it proved that my baby was real and not just a line on a pregnancy test or a figment of my imagination. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 06 July 2007 at 2:52pm
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I never looked at ours, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm never had a definite feeling of what our angel was so we used the name Alex as that way it didn't matter if it was a boy or girl. We have our wee soul in a beautiful little wooden chest that sits beside a crystal tree my MIL brought us after we MC. It is to be cremated with whoever goes first me or DH. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 07 July 2007 at 12:11am
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i have the scan pics, i printed one that was really good, paris snabbled it when she was really having troubles, it helped me to know that it was helping her.
I don't know if i want to see what baby is like now simply because i have that beautiful image of baby up on that ultrasound screen looking perfect.. (before they told me there was no heartbeat) and that's what i want to remember, i had to wait nearly 3 weeks after that to have D&C so chances are not great that my baby would be anything quite as perfect as the picture i remember. It is a nice, gorgeous well defined pic... no-one that sees it would guess anything's wrong.. apart fromt he fact maybe that theres a heck of alot more room around baby than there maybe should have been. 
Now that portfolio is done am planning on getting that pot and that plant and actually burying the jar in there, so i guess maybe then i might have a look. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 07 July 2007 at 12:33am
| Ok what do you ladies think I should do. As I mentioned I buried my babies with a rose that my friend gave me. Im not the greatest gardener and have somehow managed to kill the rose (which makes me feel even worse) but now my dilema is, I dont want to just throw out the rose because my babies are in that soil. So do I need to just get over it and get rid of it or do I get a new rose and replant it using the same soil so my babies will still be there? |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 07 July 2007 at 8:54am
In my scan there is only a sac, tthey couldnt even see the baby so I dont think it had got that far yet  We are not going to name ours, its just out little angel that went to heaven to us ------------- |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 07 July 2007 at 9:25am
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I never had a good look because I didn't realise it was m/c (I thought it was a period) until the 'clot' had gone. But it depends how far along you are - I was only 4 weeks so there was really nothing to see.
Robyn if you're not much of a gardener why don't you try a fern or a tree or something that you won't need to look after much? (I have un-green fingers too LOL) Sheza we didn't name ours either but we sometimes talk about what if 'she' was here etc. I was only 4 weeks pg (so really only 2 weeks old) and we hadn't known we were pg before we m/c, so we didn't feel the need to name our baby. But we do sometimes wonder why and what if.... but we conceived again 2mos later so I know that if we had been able to have that baby we would not have been able to have our 6mo baby Krystiana - not that I knew that would happen at the time though. ------------- |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 08 July 2007 at 12:00am
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i agree with the fern thing.. we got hen and chicken fern when we started flatting and it was a 99 cent supermarket jobby.. darn thing just kept growing no matter what we did. I plan to keep the jar intact and bury that in the soil simply for the same reason, that and what it's preserved in is usualy very toxic and poisonous so will either kill the plant or be pretty dangerous to handle etc.
I do love that our scan actually looks like a nice tiny bubba.. which also makes it so hard too to think "what on earth went wrong?" ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 08 July 2007 at 2:39pm
| haha Ive just realised maybe that was why the rose died because of all the chemicals etc... I hadnt thought of that. I hope so anyway cos I was thinking it was some horrible sign (oh and I didnt handle them at all, just dug a hole, closed my eyes and tipped them in) |