I’m a vindictive cow
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Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=7436
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Topic: I’m a vindictive cow
Posted By: lizzle
Subject: I’m a vindictive cow
Date Posted: 10 May 2007 at 10:08pm
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Some of you may remember what happened over xmas...to recap, my SIL and us had a massive fight. she accused us of not cleaning the house properly and bascially being bad parents. we tried to explain to her that it wasn't as easy as it seems and that sometimes you give up on cleaning the windows because your son wants a swing. She accused us of everything under the sun and then proceeded to say that when her baby was born she'd be able to put him in daycare (like I should be doing apparently) and go to work, AND keep the housen immaculate AND have a happy healthy well-adjusted baby.
Now, if you recall, I was really upset about all this as we were "banned" from xmas dinner and ended up having it by ourselves (very nice but missing the point), and I came on Oh baby and blubbed a bit. Well, the baby has come and is quite colicky. She had planned to take him to work and now finds she can't cause he screams and is now talking about taking time off to spend with him. She was so obsessed with everything being perfect , that she is so stressed now that it isn't. he won't settle, she isn't sleeping...and part of me is going "SEEE!!!! NOT SO BLOODY EASY IS IT?" but I am resisting to make comments and after she gave up breastfeeding after 3 days I said "well, people always have strong opinions about how you raise your child, but you have to do what youknow is best" and that was as nasty as I got. I'm so proud of me....but inside....now thats another story |
Replies:
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 10 May 2007 at 10:13pm
Na, be the nasty one and say after what she put you through at xmas time. She so deserves it  ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 10 May 2007 at 10:14pm
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well done...but you were far too restrained!!! LMAO!!!
and only 3 days BF - that is not good.... |
Posted By: Bumble
Date Posted: 10 May 2007 at 10:17pm
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Very restrained...
In the mood that I am in currently, I probably would have let fly!!! Leave it a while, then have a "polite" dig, and ask for an apology..... ------------- formerly known as "Bee" Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy! Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones! |
Posted By: MyMinis
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 6:24am
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What goes around comes around and now I bet shes eating her words.
I probably would have jumped up and said See not so bloody easy is it!! really make her think. Hope she apologises for being so nasty with you, I hate it when people who arent parents or are pregs for the first time tell you how to do things. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://tweetytweety85.bebo.com - bebo |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 8:19am
hehe lizzle i would of been much more evil soo welll done on the being nice i wouldnt off been ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 8:44am
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Your not a vindictive cow. You were very restrained. Good on you for being the better person. Hope your comments hit home for her and I hope that she apologises too. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 9:16am
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3 days???!!!!! That is bloody terrible!!!! She didn't even give it a proper try!! You were so restrained!! I wouldn't have been able to help myself! (well, actaully, I would have, I am so bad with confrontation) ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 9:25am
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Awwww how dissapointing - there was no vindictive cow-ness in there at all!! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 9:36am
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You are not being a vindictive cow at all. I think actually you are a lot more restrained I would have been in the same situation. Karma can be a Biaaatch sometimes.
Most propably because she is so stressed that everything must be perfect is perhaps the way why bubs have colic. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: hailstones
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:24am
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Go the Karma!!!!! Good on you for holding it back! It does take more to be the better person, hopefully now she is realising its not as easy as she once thought!!!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: tashzmum
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:30am
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i would say u have been very very restrained!!!i know what its like to have horrible inlaws.
i probably would have just spoken up but said something like-being a parent isnt as easy as some people make it out to be. it is a full time job and at times very very hard but also it is very very rewarding. ------------- Natasha Jayde, 1-01-05(7lb3oz) Caroline Elisabeth, 9-04-08 (4lb15oz) Izabella Kate, 9-04-08(6lb7oz) Lexi Brenna, 23-01--2011(6lb6oz) |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 11:12am
Good on you Liz! It feels so virtuous being the bigger person eh? And now that you've done that, you should go and tell her what a terrible job she's doing so she gets a taste of her own medicine  (JK)------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 11:38am
| Hehe, you really were rather restrained. I would have said something about the house not being very tidy at the moment, she must be really disorganised or somthing like that. |
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 12:07pm
Yeesh Lizzle ...you barely even stuck the knife in, let alone giving it a twist 
You were very restrained, although I would hope too that your SIL will come to see what a dumbass she was. I don't imagine you'll get it, but it would be nice if one day she apologised to you. I have a friend who was never going to have a messy child, or an untidy house, or any number of things, oh! and birth wasn't going to hurt because she'd done coast to coast, and was of the opinion that that was real pain ...and I tell ya ...her child is over 3, and she still goes beet red when she remembers the opinions she had pre-baby! ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 1:18pm
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i cant comment about the breastfeeding cos my friend "gave up" after 3 days , but i know she tried, and they say one day is better than none at all, but the rest of it , gosh!
what idiot says before the child is there how its gonna be? if you have stupid expectations your in for a nasty shock....until you go through labour, DONT comment on how your gonna cope so brilliantly with the pain, until your baby is born DONT say your gonna have the most well behaved placid child in the world, your kid might be a little sh*t, lizzle your sil sounds like an idiot and you were much nicer to her than she deserves |
Posted By: emeldee
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 1:29pm
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LOL - go around and do a dust inspection at her place and tell her that the Mother's Day fairy won't visit her house because of the mess....
My first ever plunket nurse, back in the dark ages when I had the pre-teen, gave me the best every advice about windows - clean windows are a safety hazard - you need to have dirty windows otherwise children and visitors won't realise there are windows, will walk into them and hurt themselves. By having dirty windows, you are being a good host, and mother and protecting your children. ------------- |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 2:53pm
| hehehe. as for the htree days, she got some bad advice from her MIL in my opinion and gave baby formula from the start. then I think her milk didn't come in properly, and that teat confusion thing. But i also think a big part was her expecting everything to be so perfect and when it's not, she feels like she's failed. I do feel sorry for her as usually, well, before xmas, we got on really well (hence me not wanting to be tooo nasty!), but the BESTp art was the daycare thing as now she understands being a SAHM isn't about watching oprah and eating chocolate all day! |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 3:22pm
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Oh dear, it's sad she said that to you but it is also sad that she is going through this. Being a Mum is such a tough ride do despite what she did to you I can't help but feel for her. You did the right thing, I'd support her for now and have a chat about things later when she is coping better.
You know what, I guarantee you remembers what she said to you and I bet she feels dreadful about it. Clearly she had no idea of how hard being a Mum is (none of us do I guess) and that probably makes things extra hard for her). If you are nice to her and supportive of her now I bet you she will feel more guilty about her words and actions than if you turn on her. I guarantee she is dragging herself over hot coals for those things she said to you. Sounds weird I know but hopefully YGWIM. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 9:06pm
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Just wait for the perfect opportunity to comment on her house...it will be priceless!
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 12 May 2007 at 8:52am
yep i agree with fiona. nicely said too. i remember before i had kids the things i used to say about how i was going to raise them and what sort of kids they would be. i remember these comments with shame tho. and my sister and i laugh about them now and how naive i was. 
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FionaS wrote: