Sex
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=7441
Printed Date: 24 August 2025 at 10:29pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Sex
Posted By: YvetteandElla
Subject: Sex
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 9:22am
|
Ok this may be a very weird issue, but I need to get it off my chest.
Am I abnormal I do not feel like sex at all being pregnant. I have never had much of sex drive as I am on antidepressants but now it is much worse. I feel like a failure as a wife  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Replies:
Posted By: Bumble
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 9:27am
|
I never wanted sex when I was pg.... nor when I was on antidepressants too... You are not a failure. Does DH/DP understand what you are feeling??
The only time that I had sex when I was pg was at the end to soften the cervix... even then I didn't really enjoy myself.... ------------- formerly known as "Bee" Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy! Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones! |
Posted By: YvetteandElla
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 9:35am
|
Yeah he is the best and the most understanding, he doesnt even ask for it.
It just makes me sad like we are missing something from our relationship. it just sucks we have been togther a long time 10 years but only married for a year. I have been on Anti D's for over 4 years so it is not a new issue it has just been made worse by being preggas. My DH loved the 3 months when we were trying and wished we were trying for longer  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:01am
| I haven't felt like sex since about week 8 lol.. DH has just got use to the fact that my sex drive is non existant. |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:26am
I lost mine completely after my first boy was born and i never got it back until he was 1.5 maybe 2yrs old!!! but DH understood totally!! and it hasnt affected our relationship at all.
I wouldnt worry too much as it will pass even if it does take a while. I felt terrible for DH but he totally understood as im sure your DH does 
|
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:44am
|
Thank god you asked this!! I am the same. I was told that by 20 weeks i would have these uncontrollable urges and would be waking DF up in the middle of the night.....still waiting! and now that I'm getting pain in my pubic bone I am soooooo not into it.
DF is really good about it as he's kind of gone off it too....thinks he's hurting baby. but (TMI) we tried the other day and its ALL different.....we were in hysterics trying to work out how it all fits. i just hope my drive comes back once bubs is here. |
Posted By: EllenMumof2
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:44am
|
yes i must say every such i have been preggies with number 3 i have lost all interest and feel bad about it some times DP is great though and is very understanding -------------  
 
Kalem 6! |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:55am
|
I was a nymphomaniac when I was preggies with Ella, but when I was carrying Benjy I became the total opposite and didn't want it all.
Definitely not abnormal! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
|
Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 11:05am
|
This is an interesting one - I am not really wanting sex at the mo, but lots of people have told me the urge will come soon. DH doesn't believe that - he says I didn't get any m/s so why would I do any of the other normal things?
We are still 'doing it' but it is mostly for him, I am not worried about the baby, could just take or leave the whole experience at the moment is all. Does that sound right? ------------- Mum to two beautiful kids 
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 11:25am
Seems to
|
Bel wrote:Posted By: YvetteandElla
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 11:30am
|
I am now so glad I posted this message - I now feel normal and we all should be so glad that our DH/Dp's are so understanding.
I suppose with men if they know we are not that interested they are not also. I am just lucky DH is not pushy ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 12:03pm
|
I find in the first trimester I go off it if I'm feeling nauseous or really exhausted (and I don't even get ms!). In the second trimester it's pretty good, so long as we keep it up and don't go for too long without. In the third trimester, well it takes a bit to get used to making love around a basketball But I couldn't go without for a whole year so I give it my best! DH is pretty understanding, especially in the couple of months after baby is born.
I usually find my drive is linked to my AF cycle so in the time between birth and AF coming back, that's my "flattest" time. ------------- |
Posted By: MyMinis
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 12:36pm
|
with haleigh i wanted it and df didnt till the end (only to try get her out).
this time round ive gone totally off it esp since i started getting sore in the pelvic area. df asks and gives a wee sulk then gives me a hug and goes to sleep hehe. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://tweetytweety85.bebo.com - bebo |
Posted By: Bumble
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 1:26pm
When I was pg, cos I didn't want it and felt a bit guilty...I would "help out" with DH...  ------------- formerly known as "Bee" Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy! Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones! |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 4:42pm
|
I have had no urge whatsoever for probably the past 10weeks I could not think of anything worse to be honest. I think hubbie understands I'm happy to have cuddles in bed, but stop it before it goes any further.. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
|
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 11 May 2007 at 6:44pm
|
i totally lost my sex drive with both pregnancies, lucky hubbys really understanding and says hes just happy with lots of cuddles and knowing that im getting rest.
i think the wanting it all the time thing is a bit of a myth, i have had 7 friends who have had children in the last 18mths and only 1 of said she wanted sex all the time all the others said it wasnt on the adjenda. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: bookwyrm
Date Posted: 14 May 2007 at 8:56am
|
I am the opposite. My sex drive has doubled. But I am not that far along (still in first trimester) so it is possible mine will drop off as baby grows and get more uncomfortable. I hope it doesnt... c'est la vie.
Tara ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: aleisha
Date Posted: 14 May 2007 at 9:28am
|
Yep im on baby number 5 and sure enough the whole pregnancy i havnt felt like it once.I still do it every 3 or 4 days just to shut him up as hes not really all that understanding . its easier to just get it over with.But yeah no real involvement from me or enthusiasim at all. But it does come back after babys are born.However i found everytime it did take around a year or longer afterwards even.This time especially im really worried about hurting the baby.Everyone tells you they cant feel it etc.But how can that be???I recon they must be really annoyed when there getting there heads poked!!!LOL
http://lilypie.com">  
|
Posted By: YvetteandElla
Date Posted: 14 May 2007 at 9:47am
|
Wow aleshia you should have a word with that hubby of yours, to tell him how you feel, I sure he would rather not have sex than be doing it if you really dont enjoy it ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: aleisha
Date Posted: 14 May 2007 at 10:09am
|
LOL Trust me he would still rather do it than not even if im not enjoying it! Its not that i really mind or anything like that its easier to just let him do it anyway.He actually gets really grumpy after about 3 days if he hasnt had sex.And its not that he means to or is annoyed with me at all for not wanting to.He totally understands that it must be uncomfortable while pregnent. But hes just one of those men that NEEEDS to have sex.Or his brain goes all funny!!!LOL
And honestly at the moment i dont mind too much as someone else said earlier as its supposed to bring on labour???
|
Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 14 May 2007 at 10:18am
|
I certainly did NOT feel like it for the first 12-15 weeks as I was really sick & had extreme tiredness. DH would get quite grumpy with me after 3 or 4 days & the longest I held off was a week. I remember when I let him have it once & i was not into it & I felt really horrible during it so will not let that happen again - if I'm not in the mood HE'S NOT GETTING IT, even if it means he gets annoyed with me I know he'll get over it!
At the moment I don't mind it at all... but from past experience, once I hit the 35 wk mark I'm not going to want it & that's going frustrate DH as he won't be getting it for a couple of months . ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
|
Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 16 May 2007 at 6:22pm
|
Hi there
Im glad i found this post, i havent really looked at the other posts apart from the August Mums one.. Im the same as almost all of you, i dont feel like it and i feel awful.. DF kinda understands, i get the feeling that he doesnt really he just doesnt want to hurt my feelings.. Iv spent alot of the time feeling bad, and upset that i cant give him what he wants and what i know he wants.. I mean they are only human.. Altho i do keep thinking to myself if he loved me at all couldnt he just understand.. Also the comments he makes after we do 'do it' every now and then make me feel worse and i just cry! I dont know if the crying is because it hurts ( what he says ) or if its just hormones.. It says things like, god we dont do it enough! Or we will be in bed and he will try and il say i dont feel like it, and he will say i knew that just thought id try, or i wasnt getting my hopes up. I thought it was just me because he said he asked all his mates that have pregnant gf's and apparently they do it all the time and that its just me being a hold out.. God it felt good to get that out.. God bless whoever made this post :) ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 16 May 2007 at 6:29pm
you shouldnt feel bad i spent so long feeling bad about not wanting it but really it was coz i was feeling crappy and then after the prem labour scare i didnt want to do it at all incase it made me go into labour, sometimes hubby would get down but hed never say anything but i could tell, however what i did find out was that if i was uncomfortable doing it and didnt say anything, hed figure it out then hed feel really really bad and that sucked so now i just tell him how im feeling, and i make him tell me how hes feeling too, and its been heaps better ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 16 May 2007 at 6:43pm
|
I try to tell DF how im feeling but then he says how he feels and i already know.. he just wants sex.. and i do it, not always because i want to but because i love him to pieces and just want to make him happy.. ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 16 May 2007 at 7:00pm
|
that was exactly how i was feeling too, all i wanted to do was make him happy coz seeing him sad really breaks my heart, however it really backfired, he started geting really down and thinking of himself as selfish then he had a massive anxiety attack, he went to the doctor about it and the doc said it was perfectly normal for a partner to feel this way and the best thing to do is really both get it out about how your feeling, thats why now were completly honest and its great, hes never been selfish at all, he admits that he wants it all the time, but hed rather watch me sleep and know that me and bubs are rested.
and hes even admitted that its hard, but hes gotta get used to it as wen babys born he wont be getting any for quite a while. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 16 May 2007 at 7:09pm
| babytyme I found my hormones did weird things with sex....even if I was into it I would often end in tears.....which really pissed me off!!! DF thought it was quite cute though. |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 16 May 2007 at 7:18pm
|
lol
nzpiper that happens to me too!! sometimes its me that wants it, and then sometimes if we havnt done it for a while it gets kinda sore and hubby wont want to touch me incase it hurts me and i just ball my eyes out oh and one time he was to tired and i cried lol guess that was a taste of how he feels lol ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 16 May 2007 at 7:42pm
|
Haha that happened to me too, he said he was to tired and i cried cos i thought he didnt want me or that it was something else.. thanks for the advice guys its really helped. ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 16 May 2007 at 7:44pm
| No, I meant I cried at the end of it!!! and it wasnt bad...it was like the only emotion I could do was tears.....silly hormones! |
Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 16 May 2007 at 7:55pm
|
lol i havent done that yet... i can imagine if i did poor DF would think he done something wrong.. ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 16 May 2007 at 8:02pm
|
hehe piper I've done that on occasion ------------- |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 16 May 2007 at 8:04pm
I did that the first time we BDed after I found out I was preg with Maya. I felt sorry for Willie so let him have his way, but felt so icky about it afterwards that I burst into tears and that freaked him right out. The poor guy had to go without while I was pregnant with the gremlins as aside from me really not feeling like it due to bad morning sickness, we were told by the OB not to go there as I had several bleeding episodes and a threatened early labour. So he was reaaaally keen to get back into it after they were born! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 17 May 2007 at 11:39am
I told hubbie last night that the thought of doing IT made me feel wierd and when he asked me why I said, I can't possibly think of doing it because 9/10 baby is moving around and the whole mindset with me is that's just weird.  ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3)
|