another mother’s day post! yo mama & MIL
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=7553
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Topic: another mother’s day post! yo mama & MIL
Posted By: Andie
Subject: another mother’s day post! yo mama & MIL
Date Posted: 15 May 2007 at 3:27pm
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Another mother's day topic... (mine was lovely by the way... DH made a lovely card and mmmm waffles and for the first time ever, looked after Ella until her morning nap - amazing what a difference it makes when daddy pulls finger!!) Now that you're a mum, do you still do whatever you used to do for your mum and MIL on mother's day? My mum used to make a really big deal of it, and the pressure got a bit much so my sis and I have been weaning her off her designs! DH doesn't do anything for his mum and I feel bad about that, so I organise another of whatever I get for my mum. But am I a right proper b!tch for thinking that now that I spend all day running about after a baby, mothers day can be just for me, until my kids move out?!? I don't want it to be another family occasion where I go between my parent's house and in-laws place and feel like the day was full of family obligations. ------------- Andie |
Replies:
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 15 May 2007 at 3:33pm
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We had lunch at MIL's (she made it go figure) and then we spend the afternoon at my parents place. It felt like it me that we still have to do the things with DH's mum even thou i'm a mum now. I'm hoping I can put a stop to making it a day where we have to go and visit as I am a mum now. We will still get them something (well probably on DH's mum as mine will be overseas) but not make it a day WHEN we have to go and visit. I wanted to go to the esplanade this year and go on the train with Andrew but couldn't as we ran out of time. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 15 May 2007 at 3:38pm
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I think all those years that we made our mum feel special...it must be our turn. My mum was away, but we still went to visit the outlaws. I do not want to make this a day where we HAVE to go and visit! There were so many things I wanted to do with my DP & DS but it didn't happen...so next time I will try and put my foot down more! (try!)
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Posted By: Bumble
Date Posted: 15 May 2007 at 4:32pm
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My mum is in Australia and DH's mum is in Tauranga. We just spend the day together and have done that since Ethan was born. ------------- formerly known as "Bee" Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy! Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones! |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 15 May 2007 at 5:03pm
Ah Andie, I'm so glad you posted this! We can be best friends 
Right better get onto dinner and I'll be back tonight  -------------  |
Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 15 May 2007 at 5:20pm
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Ok so I'm not a Mum yet.. well I guess I am but it's still very very tiny and in my puku... but I've done a bit of thinking about Mothers Day.
Pre-baby, I like to go to church with my Mum and Grandmas, and then back to my parents place for lunch. Just get Mum a card and pressie (this year was a voucher for a mother daughter lunch lol) and usually a little something my my Grandmas too. DHs family is out of Auckland so luckily it's not toooo much of an issue - send a card and pressie, and ring on the day. When baby is here, it's still important to me to celebrate Mothers Day for my Mum and Grandmas too - I see it as a time where we can appreciate and be appreciated (well, in the ideal world). So I'm gonna keep appreciating my Mum on Mothers Day forever, and same with DH and his Mum. I think you can appreciate and be appreciated all at the same time 
Things will be a bit different, I probably wouldn't spend the morning with them, but I'd still call in even if we only went for lunch and had the rest of the day as a family. But that's my ideas pre-baby, and I'm all to aware that they could well change with the reality of being a Mum!!!  ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 15 May 2007 at 7:23pm
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This is exactly what I have been mulling (stewing?) over these last two weeks. Over the last 4 years I have got cards for M and MIL and sometimes have visited them as well. But this year I figure I *deserve* to have a day to feel special and appreciated instead of being inflicted with obligations! So I did nothing. I left it to DH to wish his own mum a HMD (which he forgot, but I did remind him on the day) and when I sent my mum her (belated -oops) birthday card two weeks ago I wrote "PS Happy Mothers' Day" on it.
Then I put my feet up - as it were - and totally enjoyed being appreciated for the job I do as mum. I kinda feel like, M and MIL have had their day, now it's my turn. For me, it's very difficult to arrange things for both of them and still feel like it was my special day. DH feels a bit differently though, he wants to know why is he expected to do stuff for me when I'm not his mother!? I told him I'm the mother of the household and he needs to help our kids "do" MD because they are so young. And because it means a lot to me, I go out of my way to make FD special for him (again with cards for F and FIL but I get DH to at least write in his F's card)... so of course I expect a bit of special pampering on MD.
I wonder how much has to do with DH having a better relationship with his M than I do with mine? ------------- |