Anxiety and Depression
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=7859
Printed Date: 27 August 2025 at 3:48pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Anxiety and Depression
Posted By: YvetteandElla
Subject: Anxiety and Depression
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 11:10am
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Hi girlies,
I thought I would start a thread for all of us who suffer and have suffered from Anxiety and/or depression. Thought it might be a good outlet for us and a place we can get and give advice from people in a similar situation. I developed anxiety and depression when I was 19 at university - lucky it is now under control but I still have this intense fear of developing PND as my therapist told me I may have a higher chance of getting this. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 11:16am
I've suffered from anxiety and depression since my early teens. I too was terrified of PND and was referred by my GP to Maternal Mental Health before Joshie was born. They were excellent, came to see me in the hospital the day after Joshie was born, and came to my home on a couple of occasions, to observe how I was doing and check my support networks etc. They even brought cake!!! I was very very lucky and managed to get through without suffering more than just mild "baby blues" but it was reassuring to know that if I did have issues then there was a fantastic service available to me. Lil'nut there are many organisations out there who can help - big hugs to you, and I hope things go well for you, and you are a happy mama 
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 11:35am
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I'm pretty scared of getting PND too. I have a family history of depression and I've had it since I was about 15 (have been OK for 2 years though touchwood).
For me it's kind of sinking in with the hormones of early pregnancy and I keep crying. Hopefully that will settle down when I'm past that stage though. Good idea to start this up. |
Posted By: justme
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 11:47am
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What a great idea lilnutnut :) Due to issues in my past I suffer from waves of anxiety & depression too - I have done for several years. Things are alot better than they once were. I also worry about getting PND but being aware is a good start! Always something to worry about when we're pregnant huh?!
------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: justme
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 11:50am
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emz, I spent a hell of alot time of crying & feeling blue in early pregnancy too - it comes & goes.. unfortunately, the hormones keep taking us through it even to late pregnancy.. hope you're feeling ok today ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 12:22pm
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I got put on anti depressants when i got pregnant.
Ive also been a bit worried about the PND thing. ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 1:27pm
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i didnt get PND with my daughter but have been diagnosed with anti-natal depression about 8 weeks ago but i refused to go on medication for it.
mine isnt caused by being depressed or upset that im pregnant ( as im sooooo happy about it i love being pregnant) it was that i had such severe mood swings and i had no control over things i said to people or my moods and seing how upset it would make my partner would make me histerically upset. but the more i tried to control how i was feeling the more upset id get. now tho it seems to have gone well almost, after i was told to stop trying to control my emotions as it was probably making them worse, and i think its worked. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: BabyOnBoard
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 4:24pm
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I still have depression and an anxiety disorder but don't want to take anything whilst pregnant. I am worried about PND as well. While my pregnancy has been great the emotional side hasn't been - with hormones and everything as well I am a big wreck, and still have panic attacks. I'm scared about what it's going to be like when bubs is born ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 4:32pm
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I don't mean to be rude or anything ladies, but we have a section in the forum dedicated to anxiety and depression issues, and you're welcome to ask questions there too if you want. I understand if you feel more comfortable here though !
I experienced huge anxiety issues after my daughter was born, and have been down this road before, both with anxiety and depression. Initially I was misdiagnosed with PND and put on medication that made my anxiety and panic attacks worse, but I eventually got on the right track. I wouldn't have made it without the support of friends and family, and especially my wonderful husband. I can't take this particular medication whilst pregnant though, so at some point in the future I will look at weaning myself off them under the supervision of my GP, as we would like to have another baby sooner rather than later. I second joshierocks' recommendation of MMH (Maternal Mental Health), I found them to be a fabulous resource and very supportive. |
Posted By: justme
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 4:38pm
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thanks erinsmama :) I wasn't aware there was another section dedicated to anxiety & depression issues.. not sure that many of the others did either.. thank you for pointing this out - don't think you were being rude at all
------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: BabyOnBoard
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 4:39pm
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Shows how much attention I pay lol ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: chonni
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 4:49pm
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ive had depression scince i was 13 and a year ago i got put on anti-depressants i got so bad just before i got pregnant i wouldint even leave my house but i stopd taking the pills when i got pregnant pecause they where making me sick and its confusing now weather i still have depression or its just because im pregnant im so scard about pnd too coz i really dont wanna feel the way i did before my pregnancy ------------- 
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Posted By: YvetteandElla
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 5:28pm
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Sorry I started the thread was not aware of the other one - oops.
Ok there are lots of us August mummies in here - strange huh. I dont really suffer from it at the moment however need to be careful and make sure I take my meds on time otherwise it can set me off. I try to limit the stress in my life hence why I dont work so much. Hubby has been the best and most supportive he is what got me through the bad times - just before our wedding I went throught the worst I had it and am suprised he still wanted to marry me - I love him so much and am so lucky. Am nervouse about PND I had to tell DH to stop saying that he thought I would not get it as I have always wanted babies and this is my calling - I told him that this may put pressure on me so to stop he totally understood and said he will be on special watch to see if it happens. I worry alot that something will go wrong - I am sure all mothers do it but it can eat away at times. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 6:57pm
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I think after my ex and i broke up and with being pregnant and doing the whole thing alone it sort of sent me over the edge. I think ive suffered from depression for a long time i just have done nothing about it. Once i got pregnant i wanted to be i dunno healthy i guess for my baby (and things were getting a bit too much) so i talked to the doctor about it. Thats when she put me on the pills and they have actually been a huge help. Which surprised me really. ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: YvetteandElla
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 7:08pm
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Yeah I have found that meds can be the best thing - some people are worried about taking them while pregnant - I know that doctors etc would not give them if they were not safe.
before getting pregas hubby and I went to a psychologist to sort out meds (to see if I should stop or change) he said that there is no harm being on them (as long as it is baby freindly) and in most cases it is worse if you dont take them and suffer through it as you are putting the stress on the baby. So I changed to a baby freindly type. Therapy was the best thing I did - a life saver really. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 8:11pm
August mummies are depressed and obsessed with sex ( I think we dominated the sex thread a while back too  )
I have never been diagnosed with depression so I dont really know what you guys are going through but these bloody hormones are messing with me at the moment and I also worry about PND. Maybe thats normal? |
lilnutnut wrote:Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 8:23pm
Yeah, when my doctor said she was prescribing them for me the first thing i said was "are they okay for the baby?" then after thought that was a silly question cause its not like the doc is going to put me on anything that cauld harm the baby is she? ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: BabyOnBoard
Date Posted: 29 May 2007 at 8:30pm
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I wasn't allowed the anxiety meds because of their intensity and I refused to take any meds at all - not because it was a wise decision but because I'm really paranoid of something happening to bubs. Logically I know it wont but after losing my sister I don't want to take any risks.
I was surprised to find out 4/5 people suffer some form of depression, I don't feel so alone ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 30 May 2007 at 8:23am
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I've only started to feel anxious since being pg this time. PND hasn't affected me with the previous 2 children. I think a build up of things have affected me this time around. I went to see my Dr last week to see if I needed to go on anti-depressants, but since I don't have a history of depression or anxiety she's given me some sleeping pills as due to not sleeping well I was exhausted. Hopefully in a few weeks after getting some decent sleep I start to settle down. If not I'm going to visit my Dr again.
Unfortunately my Dh doesn't seem to be as supportive of me at the moment. Maybe he has issues of his own which he's not sharing with me, but it's definitely making it harder for me to get through this. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: YvetteandElla
Date Posted: 30 May 2007 at 10:14am
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Italiah is there anyone else you can turn to for support - at times like what you are going through you need support and if you are not getting it from DH it would be good if there was someone else.
You should not be going through this alone - big hugs ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 30 May 2007 at 10:21am
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I have a couple of friends & my sister who I've spoken to about how I'm feeling. But when you don't live with them & they're not able to help on a daily basis, that's when I need Dh's support. I am hoping to talk to him AGAIN about things as I think he hasn't comprehended where I'm at. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: YvetteandElla
Date Posted: 30 May 2007 at 10:24am
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BabyOnBoard i was given drugs specific for pregnant women so they know there was no risks - there are many which they let you take that do have the odd risk such as a grizzly baby who can sometimes be tired etc.
I just made sure that mine was tailored to pregnant women - to be sure I even paid $500 to see a psychologist to sort out my meds so I was confident they were fine. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: justme
Date Posted: 30 May 2007 at 2:56pm
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hey Italiah, I hope you know that - you're not alone with how you're feeling.. I think that our partners often find it difficult to understand - even though we may feel that we explain ourselves quite clearly.. DH is usually very good but I am often frustrated when spend time explaining what I am going through & I think he did actually take in & understand what i have just shared with him - then later on in the day - I get upset or seem short tempered and he will look at me like he can't understand what the hell is wrong.. On top of all of this - we are have the hormones going crazy in our bodies & we are carrying the baby, they can only go by what we say but never really "completely understand" - no matter how hard they try or how much they love us & vice versa.. We are doing so well though - it's really important to remind ourselves ladies - we are doing so well & carrying a child is no easy feat.. warm fuzzies ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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this can turn into a bit of a cycle - but one thing I have learnt is - it's important to remember that at the end of the day we women are quite different from men & our understanding of a situation or issue can be quite different from theirs.. unfortunately!
big hugsPosted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 30 May 2007 at 3:33pm
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Well you'd think after being pg twice before my Dh would know all about it by now! And I wouldn't have to ask for so much help. I think a lot of my anxiety has stemned from his lack of help around the place.
A mate of his returned from the UK in December after being away for 2 yrs. He now works for us & they like to play A LOT of sport together. So I never know if they're actually out working or gone for a game of tennis, or even into town for a drink. Knowing he can "do what he likes" during the day & yet it's not always work gets to me since he could've been at home helping me. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 30 May 2007 at 3:43pm
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In a way im glad i dont have to deal with my ex boyfriend.
But then thats also part of the problem too so i cant win really. ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: YvetteandElla
Date Posted: 30 May 2007 at 4:03pm
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Italiah yeah you should really talk to him - I would be annoyed to if I was staying at home looking after 2 kids and preggas and my hubby was off drinking and playing sport
It must be really hard on you - you should def sit him down and let it rip - he needs to know how you feel - sorry if I upset or insulted you with our pm last week. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: justme
Date Posted: 30 May 2007 at 4:22pm
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Yes, italiah - sounds like you really do need to have a chat with him again - it is hard work looking after 2 children with a 3rd on the way - especially without much support from DH.. It's definitely time for him to compromise hun - both of you wanted this child & these children - not just you. You're in this marriage together.. You're not in the relationship with your kids by yourself - I think he needs to be reminded of these things. Maybe even ask him what it is he thinks you are here for..? Tell him you can't do this on your own & you feel really unhappy about how things are going. Mention how you really appreciate the fact that he works etc but the children & running the household etc is ALOT of work for one person & you would really appreciate the help.. Not sure if this helps but - DH often needs a reminder - I have a big heart to heart - then he says yes - I'll do this - I'll do that.. blah... then things continue on & I realise that nothing much has changed - I raise it again - he then says - I'm busy baby - can you please write it down for me? or remind me? I say - "look I don't want to have to remind you all the time because then I feel like a nag! - I have started to remind him by leaving little notes & saying baby - please don't forget to do the vaccuming.. I have even resorted to leaving a couple of things that he said he would do until he mentions them - then I say - "well.. I did say that I can't do it ALL by myself.. this is a big house you know & i have alot of other things to get done in the day etc etc..." This has actually worked quite well recently - (it's up to you though - you may find it hard to leave things - I struggled not doing the vaccuming ) floor started to look a bit fluffy/grotty but... all he said was - "that's ok - I'll do it - I just need reminding.." ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 30 May 2007 at 4:42pm
LNN you didn't insult me at all with your PM, I really appreciate your concern & advice . I haven't had the chance to PM you back but have taken what you've said on board.
I'm not sure if Dh's mate/employee has influenced him a lot recently. He doesn't have any kids & his wife lets him do whatever he likes so if he wants to go out he always asks if Dh wants to go as well. I personally think his wife needs to pull the reigns in a bit with him as he does way to much without her & she thinks she's being a "good wife" letting him do what he wants all the time. BUT who am I to judge when my Dh goes out with his buddy instead of staying at home & helping with his kids!! I'm probably making it sounds worse than it is... but really he has been pretty useless! ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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