where does bubs sleep? in your room or ..
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Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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Topic: where does bubs sleep? in your room or ..
Posted By: peanut butter
Subject: where does bubs sleep? in your room or ..
Date Posted: 11 June 2007 at 3:56pm
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Hi, As my pregnancy goes along, so do my views on certain things and that raises many questions. I'm sure this one may even raise some hackles but I dont mean it to turn into that type of discussion.
Initally I was 100% sure (he he he pregnant woman being 100% sure..yeah right!) that I wanted to have bubs in our room to start with. But lately I have been doing some reading about settling bubs into a routine ASAP and a routine for going to sleep especially and its got me wondering is it really the best thing for the baby to be in our room. Should we start as we mean to endup with bubs in their own room? What experiences have you all had? Those who had bubs in the room with them, did you have any major upsets when you eventually moved bubs to their own room? Those who started bubs in the nursery did you have any issues? Also what are the feelings on letting a baby cry itself back to sleep? All experience or advice will be most welcome. At this stage my mindis TOTALLY open!!! |
Replies:
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 11 June 2007 at 4:50pm
| We had our daughter in her own room from day one at home, first in a bassinette and then in her cot. We never had any issues with this, as our room is pretty much right next to hers. I would have loved to co-sleep or have her in our room but some unexpected issues came up and it was better for all concerned that DD had her own space. As far as crying back to sleep, it depends on what you mean by that... DD will often stir in the night and cry out, but 99.999% of the time goes back to sleep after a minute or two, then again she is also older and I wouldn't necessarily take the same strategy with a newborn / younger babe. At times when we have needed to we use 'controlled crying', and go in at intervals of 10 mins depending on what the problem is etc. Only twice ever have we just given up and resorted to letting her 'cry it out'... which was definitely a last resort. Again when we did this we knew we were in a position where there weren't really any other options, she was safe in her cot etc, and if she had of become really upset we would then go straight in. |
Posted By: Brenna
Date Posted: 11 June 2007 at 4:52pm
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We had Brenna in our room for one night and I couldn't sleep as I heard EVERY noise she made!! I needed my sleep so from night #2 onwards she has been in her own room and it was the best decision for me.
I can still hear her when she cries/grizzles but can sort of block it out when needed as it's not right beside me. I don't mind letting my baby cry (to a certain extent). At first it was hard as I didn't know what her cries meant (and thought I NEVER would  ) but now when she wakes in the night I generally leave her and she re-settles eventually. Sometimes it takes her a couple of minutes and other times up to an hour. She normally just grizzles and I think it's in her sleep a lot of the time. If she cried in pain or someway different to the norm I would definatley go in.
You are right - this can be a very sensitive topic. My hairdresser is shocked to know I let Brenna cry, but as long as I know that she's not in pain/dirty nappy/hungry, then I believe that as a parent I need my sanity, so if she can re-settle herslef without me rocking/patting her then that's what works for me. Hope this helps Good on you for thinking about this now! 
ETA: This was night time - day was a different story! She has never been able to resettle herself during the day, but at night has always been good at it -------------  My beautiful 2 girls...nearly 4 and 13 months
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 11 June 2007 at 4:55pm
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I was quite lucky with both kids, they were both sound/quiet sleepers so I had them in with me until about 3 months old (made it easier for me at night feeds too). When I moved them into their own rooms it was easy, I think I was more anxious at the time, but got used to it pretty quickly, I had the monitor beside me, so I could get up when needed.
As for crying back to sleep, I didn't do this as such until they were approx 6 weeks old. I did the technique where I'd settle them for the night, and if they cried would go in pat them and leave again, I normally had to go in three times, and slowly but surely they got used to it, and I did this for day sleeps too. I found it really handy to jump on the phone and call mum or my sister just so it wasn't hard to give in. I personally think you have to gauge how you and baby are, best laid plans and schedules don't always work, so I think going with the flow sometimes is best.... This time around we will have baby in with us, cause there no where else for him to sleep, when he's older we'll move him in with one of the others. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 11 June 2007 at 5:18pm
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We had James in our room until he grew out of his bassinet I think he was about 3 months old, then transferred him to the cot and his own room on the same day and he had no problems getting used to it.
We did controlled crying with James when we were trying to get him to self settle we went through a rough patch of him only sleeping for an hour at a time day and night for a week then my midwife got me to do the controlled crying thing and we never looked back I still have the info if you want me to send it to you. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: MyMinis
Date Posted: 11 June 2007 at 5:38pm
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haleigh was in our room from day one until she was 11months. when we made the move she adjusted well.
we did try moving her at 8months but i didnt sleep well as i wasnt ready to let her in her own room. this one will be in our room also till prob 6months jsut depends how we feel. all babies are different, we did the cry back to sleep with haleigh and the rocking to sleep and derf ahd better results with the cry back to sleep. but it also depends on your baby. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://tweetytweety85.bebo.com - bebo |
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 11 June 2007 at 6:11pm
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Alyssa has been in her own cot in her own room since day 1. I always intended on doing it that way out of consideration to DH having to go to work more than anything. We are both light sleepers anyway and I think if she had been in there with us we would have woken up with every gurgle as she was a noisy sleeper early on.
I'm not opposed to letting bubs cry a little just to see if they will go back to sleep on their own, as you tend to get the idea if it's a really hard "change me, feed me, burp me" type cry or a just woken up and stirring wimper.. |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 11 June 2007 at 7:04pm
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We had Maddie in her own room from day one. We never had any issues with it. Mainly we wanted her used to her own room right off and secondly I would never have slept with her in our room! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 11 June 2007 at 7:27pm
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We started with each of the girls in our room, since I was going to be bfing every few hours anyway. Hannah stayed in til 6 weeks, I was nervous I wouldn't hear her from the next bedroom but actually that wasn't a problem at all. We were a little tired of feeling like we had to sneak around her at nights so she wouldn't wake! Briona was such a noisy breather, she was out at 2 weeks old cause I couldn't sleep LOL. Krystiana was out by about 5 weeks, she outgrew the bassinette. Neither of them had any problems changing bedrooms at that young age, but Krystiana (5mos) is now quite aware of her surroundings and really only sleeps in her cot - if we're out, she knows it LOL.
I don't like CIO much but have sometimes left the babies to cry up to 5-10 minutes. By that time you can tell if they are going to settle or if something else is wrong. Sometimes when they get overtired they'll cry whatever you do ------------- |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 11 June 2007 at 7:33pm
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Hannah was in our room the first night, then off to her room the next as we hardly slept! No problems with it, she was happy in there, and I had the monitor so we were happy too. As for the crying it out - rocking etc wasnt working so we left her to cry it out and within a few days was going to sleep really well, and has always been a really good day and night sleeper, happy content baby.
What have you been reading? Just out of curiosty.  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Lissy
Date Posted: 11 June 2007 at 7:41pm
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Harlan was in his own cot when we got home from hospital, and has been very happy in there. You need to get your sleep as well. Mind you, Harlan can fall asleep anywhere. Good luck. ------------- Harlan Drew DOB: 06.12.06 & Stepmum to Ethan & Christian, DOB: 25.02.99 |
Posted By: thunderwolves
Date Posted: 11 June 2007 at 8:11pm
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Ethan was in our room untill 3 months, now happy in his own room. Crying it out has never worked for us, he just crys himself wide awake... if he wakes in the night I leave him for a few mins, but if its more than just a whimper, I go in and give him a pat, and he is back asleep in a minute, that works better for me that him crying for ages, we both get back to sleep quicker.. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 11 June 2007 at 8:23pm
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We had DD in a bassinette in our room until she was six weeks old when DH insisted she went into her own room because he woke to every noise she made. For the first few nights I woke to everything but got used to her noises. I found it was really easy to get her out and feed her when she woke during the night when she was young, or soothe her by gently rocking the bassinette when I was still half asleep. I would have loved to co-sleep or keep her in there for longer, but it wasn't just my decision and I knew DH needed his sleep for work. DH was too scared to try co-sleeping. We had no problems moving her into her own room in the bassinette and later on moving her from the bassinette into the cot. In fact, I don't think she even noticed, it was harder for us than for her! We had the angelcare monitor and went in when she cried most of the time, but also waited a few seconds to see if she settled herself - I was told babies have a 45 minute sleep cycle so sometimes its not a good idea to rush striaght in and get them up when they stir/cry and this has seemed true for us so far.
To a certain extent, I leave DD to cry now that I know her cries more - I know when she's just tired crying as a release before falling asleep (usually stops after a minute or two) or actually upset about something. When she was really little we didn't leave her for long, it was too hard (our personal choice) and it was usually because she was hungry/needed a nappy change/needed a temperature change that she cried. We used the five s technique (swaddle, side, swing, shush and suck) and it worked really well for us to settle her and DD has been self settling pretty well since she started sucking her thumb! |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 11 June 2007 at 9:18pm
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What experiences have you all had?
Gabriella was in basinette next to the bed from day dot and i carried basinette around house to another spot during day - did not use cot at all (IMHO she was too little and i couldnt put her in cot!!!) THen at labour weekend - nearly 3 months we did the cot thing for nighttime as she outgrew basinette. She has done 10--12 hour sleeps since (was doing 8-10 hours) Those who had bubs in the room with them, did you have any major upsets when you eventually moved bubs to their own room? Only my tears. I was so worried i wouldnt hear her or that it would be sooo cold me getting up etc to go to the nursery or that i would be sitting there for hours feeding in middle of night...none true! Those who started bubs in the nursery did you have any issues? Didnt do it - just couldnt and i feel her being right next to me was a comfort to us both and allowed me to sleep sooo much easier. Also meant little disturbance to us when she woke in night - reached over picked her up fed her put her back down! Also what are the feelings on letting a baby cry itself back to sleep? You have to allow a bubs to cry but not to screaming stage. Ella learnt to self settle but is not a big crier in cot ettc (she will scream tho) but she learnt to suck her fists etc and i hear her in middle of night sometimes wake start sucking and go back off.... all the best for your decision....not too far til you put this all into practice now! |
Posted By: AndysMummy
Date Posted: 11 June 2007 at 11:33pm
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Andy is still sleeping in our room. I love having him in there as I know that he is totally safe. Silly I know as I even have a movement monitor going as well. Having Andy in our room makes night time feeding so much easier and I need to hear him breathing. The thought if him waking up all alone makes me sad. Yes I realise I have major attachment issues! lol
As for letting him cry it out. I tied it once because the midwife told me to. I lasted about 4 minutes. I have never and will never do it again. I won't go into details why as I don't want to step on anyones toes. Just been reading 'The Sleep Book, by William and Martha Sears. Would highly recommend it. At the end of the day you just need to do what you feel in your heart is best for you and your new family. Don't worry about what other people tell you. You know best. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: madeinoz
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 7:51am
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My wee girl Charlotte will be 5weeks tomorrow, so I don't have that much experience yet. But for me it is just so much eaiser to have her with me.
For the first two weeks I had her in bed with me (due to nasty tearing I found it too hard to get out of bed too often during the night) and I found it very comfortable. Having had her inside for the past nine months it felt very strange to not have her right there. After two weeks I finally got up the courage to put her down in her basinet at night (she was in it for her day sleeps) and she has slept pretty well most nights. I'm not sure at what stage I will feel comfortable having her in a separate room. I'm a single mum so its not creating any problems for anyone else's sleeping, and it helps me to sleep better being able to hear her noises. Now I can tell whether or not she actually needs something or is just making noise, so most of the time I sleep through the wee cries and only wake up when she starts making certain noises. When I was pregnant I thought that I would have her with me for the first 2-3 weeks and then put her in her own room. Now that she's here I couldn't bear to have her sleeping so far away from me. It's totally up to you, and you wont know for sure until your wee bub gets here what works for you both. Good luck with everything. |
Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 10:44am
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Madeinoz - OUCH! - I can't blame you!
Nikki, we had everyone telling us their opinions on this topic! I have found that newborns are noisy (sp?)sleepers! I was pretty open minded on this decision and I didn't think I would want to put her down, but after a night in the hospital with Samantha right beside me, it was an easy one. She went straight into her own bassinette (and ezy rocker that hangs in the cot) in her own room. I always have her monitor on so i can hear her, but turn it down so it isn't too loud. Also her room is right next to ours so she is nice and close. It has turned out to be a great thing as she has settled in her own cot from day one, and her room is smaller so easier to keep warm than ours would have been. I should add that I am paranoid so have one of the Angelcare Sound and Movement monitors. I can sleep easy knowing that if anything happens and she stops breathing the alarm will go off. With the crying issue, I can't do it, I can't leave her in there crying. We have found that she will have a little grizzle before she settles. Be warned though, DH was fooled for the first week by her grizzling at night. Kept going in because he thought she was crying and she was just grizzling in her sleep  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 10:57am
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So it seems most people have bubs in their room (parents room) coz mum cant bear to be without them Hehehe....that'll probably be me. I already think that I am going to miss all the little kicks etc.
Baby's seem to be more independent than their parents. We'll play it by ear. as for the book I was reading "ohbaby, birth babies and motherhood uncensored" It didnt have anything contreversial in it it just made me think a bit more about why we do things. thanks for all you input....it is good to see that all these babies turn out good no matter what we do. 
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Posted By: Millie1976
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 11:38am
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We had Ollie in our room from birth till just over 3 months as he was a pretty quiet sleeper. I probably could have kept him in our room for longer but a friend of mine suggested that I move him into his own room before he started realising that he was in our room and might never settle in his own room. The first few nights he woke a few times but has been fine ever since. When we have baby no 2 we will probably have it in our room again but I guess it depends on how quiet/noisey it is. Also if I have another C-section it will be easier to have baby with us. ------------- Sebastien 2 years old Olivier 3 3/4 years old |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 8:32pm
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tell u what tho - since she has been in her own room we have reclaimed our room - which for three months was kept darker and nothing much got done in it....now we can have tv on etc at night, with lights on.....
we do also have angel monitor on her and think she might still be in our room if we didnt....the ticking is total comfort for me and i have learnt to sleep with it....and i hear her settling, grissling in her sleep or crying etc very easily through it and can tell what she is doing by the ticks too....am so glad i went for that monitor and a lot of the ladies on here are to thank for that. |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 9:59pm
No, with a baby in the room not "much" will get done How will she ever have siblings
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Bombshell wrote: