How do I help???
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=8200
Printed Date: 18 October 2025 at 3:30am
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Topic: How do I help???
Posted By: mummy_becks
Subject: How do I help???
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 12:52pm
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My friend rang me this morning to tell me her bestest male friend was killed last night. She is a mess and I don't know how to help her or what to say? ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Replies:
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 12:55pm
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There's very little you can do. That's awful adn incredibly sad. Be there for her, however you can, to talk to, to give hugs ... it'll be in a month or 2 or 6 that you will be the best support to her. It's when the 7-day-wonder if it all dies down (if you'll excuse the bad use of that expression), and she's left with this big hole in her life long-term.
Grief is a terrible thing, and there is little you can do to lighten the load for someone else  ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: Gwen_
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 12:59pm
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Sorry I wouldn't no what to say aswell, But a lady from another form that i go on, her DH was killed last night in PN so I think it might be the same person.
I agree with Ginger, just be there for her ------------- We're in America for 3 months with Mummy and Daddy! http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 1:02pm
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If its the Treasures forum yes its Joy's Hubby that was killed she rang my friend this morning to tell her as they grew up together. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Gwen_
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 1:08pm
yup thats the one 
Poor things  ------------- We're in America for 3 months with Mummy and Daddy! http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 1:30pm
Well I'm a bit like Ginger with sad things - food! So all I would know to do is to offer sympathy, send flowers or a card if you want to, but bring on the easy meals and chocolate cake  -------------  |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 1:30pm
| Oh man, that sucks. I wouldnt know what to do...just being there when she needs you will help. |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 1:49pm
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Oh gosh thats awful. Like everyone else has said just being there for support and someone to listen can help loads. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: Konagirl
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 1:49pm
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my little sister died a few years ago and I have to say the best things were getting food, visits and texts from people. It of course never makes up for what's going on but it was so nice knowing people were thinking of our family. And also it was nice people that people in the following months remembered and still asked how I was going as the grief of course goes on. ------------- Angel babies Mar '04, Oct '08 and Sep '09. |
Posted By: kell
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 1:50pm
Im sitting here wondering what to do to. Joy is my friend  ------------- Kayla Rose is now 4! James Sydney is nearly 2! |
Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 2:12pm
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Big Big to all of those affected by this.
How sad! you'd be surprised what just being there can do for a person who is grieving. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 2:17pm
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Argh, that is so sad! Another mum on the Lost Ones was just telling us about this, it's awful.
I do agree with the food thing - it's hard to think about food at times like this but it's also important to keep your strength up so having someone else do the hard work is good. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 4:26pm
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Joy is a good mate of mine and is just so sad bout her hubby.she has appreciated everyones ph clls,txts and messages of sympathies. ------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com"> 
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 4:47pm
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Joy is my good friend as well and I went and saw her this morning I have not stopped crying since she texted me this morning it is just so sad he was a great dad and it is just sad that they will not ever know him. I'm on little t as well and we are organising a koha for her she has lots of support but will well and truley need it in the coming weeks. There wee babes are 18 months and 3 weeks old very heart renching. ------------- 
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 5:23pm
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I've been there, my partner died tragically 7 1/2 years ago, and the one thing that helped me was contact. By that I mean, phone calls, people dropping over to see me and Conor, and not feeling like people had forgotten about me. Sure I needed the time on my own to deal with both mine and Conor's grief, but it was good to have some normality (sp) at the same time. Also remember that it's just not about the grief she's feeling now and for the next few days, it's the grief that she will feel in a months time or even longer, so make sure you are there for her later on.. cause to be honest people forget that... that's what I learnt and what I went through.. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: lil_miss
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 5:43pm
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Aww that's truely sad :( I can't imagine what she's going through right now.
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 6:50pm
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That is so sad. My heart goes out to her and her wee babies, and to all of you on here affected by this tragedy. ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 7:02pm
Wow I have kiddies just older than hers, so very sad to imagine kids that age without a dad all of a sudden  ------------- |
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 8:24pm
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How truly awful for the family, and terribly sad for all of you that know this lady too. I agree with Ginger, this lady will be likely to be overwhelmed with help and support over the next few weeks, but after all the fuss (excuse the phrase) has died down she will need a lot of support too. Prob just company some evenings, as I would imagine she will be very lonely. Again - my thoughts are with this lady and her family at this awful time. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 12 June 2007 at 8:33pm
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Our thoughts are with the family, big |