Help wanted for 1st time mum!
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=828
Printed Date: 03 October 2025 at 4:07pm
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Topic: Help wanted for 1st time mum!
Posted By: farmerkiwi159
Subject: Help wanted for 1st time mum!
Date Posted: 01 August 2005 at 5:52pm
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Hi All
Can anyone give me some advise? I have just been advised that I am pregnant after a long time trying. I need to know what do I do now? Do I have to find my own anti-natal care / midwife etc??? If so where do I get all the information? |
Replies:
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 01 August 2005 at 9:55pm
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have a look in your phone book for midwives, or ring your local hospital - you can choose an independant midwife or go with the ones from the hospital. either way don't feel you have to choose the first one you see, it's good to talk to a couple and find someone who's on the same level as you are and who you feel comfortable with. there's heaps of really great info on this site, and alsoi found australian pregnancy and birth magazine reallllly wonderful as well as the mother and baby magazine too, treasures helps as well but i think the other two were better. once you have found a midwife, they will help you find out whatever you need to know, but makes sure you ask as many questions as you can.
congrats and good luck for the rest of your pregnancy, hope this helps a little ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 01 August 2005 at 10:51pm
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If u have the funds an obstetrician is another option too.I used a midwife both pregnancies and found them soooooo great.I was lucky that i didnt have to meet heaps of them before i found one i liked instantly. Congrats on ur lil miracle and hope to see ur name pop up more often ------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com"> 
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 02 August 2005 at 7:43am
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Just to add my 2 cents there are also some GPs (very few) who still do all care including delivery. Or if you have a really good relationship with your GP (and they dont deliver) you can get all your check ups and stuff their and just go to the hospital midwife team for delivery. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 02 August 2005 at 7:43am
Congratulations! You could also ring 0800 MUM 2 BE and they will send you a list of possible midwives in your area and answer any questions you might have!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 02 August 2005 at 1:22pm
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0800 Mum 2 Be are good too because they give you a list of questions to ask prospective midwives/doctors. I had an independent midwife with Maya and she was awesome, she really pushed me to try for a normal birth even tho I was freaking out about bubs presentation, and I ended up having a great birth. I have an OB/GYN that I see now for other (non-pregnancy) related things so I might use him next time round, but I think with OB's there tends to be a higher rate of intervention (c-sect, epidural etc.) than midwives. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 02 August 2005 at 1:31pm
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i think midwives like to see birth as a natural normal thing and let it progress normally. doctors see things from the medical point of view, so are quicker to intervene instead of giving the woman different options about how to move baby, and all that stuff, and lettin gher do things her way. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 02 August 2005 at 1:39pm
| where do you live farmerkiwi? myabe one of us lives nerby and can give you some adice about midwives? |
Posted By: mumstheword
Date Posted: 02 August 2005 at 2:43pm
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Also when you find a good midwife ask her about any groups you could join during pregnancy, they are pretty good at giving you advice and you can also met other people that you can chat to and met i found it helpful and ive made some realy good friends from groups i joined when i was preg with Caleb, and we still have get togethers now, also later on when you do if you do ante natatl lasses i met some really great people that way. any way gd luck... ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mumstheword
Date Posted: 02 August 2005 at 2:47pm
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p.s if you dnt mind me asking how old are you?? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 02 August 2005 at 3:47pm
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I think you're right Janine. I'm sure that if I had a specialist with Maya I would have ended up with a c-sect. She was posterior presenting and big for dates and I ended up having a 41 hour labour. The midwife told me they don't let labours go longer than 12 hours, but she was convinced I could deliver naturally, and I did. If I'd had a doctor tho I think they would have called it quits a lot earlier and done a c-sect. I had a private OBGYN on call, but we put off calling him and didn't need him in the end. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 02 August 2005 at 10:42pm
| Maybe there is a higher rate of intervention because higher risk pregnancies go to OB/GYNs over midwives? |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 02 August 2005 at 11:01pm
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i think its the same arguement about the scans etc. they said that women that have heaps of scans have a higher risk of this and that... truth is, usually, the reason women go for alot of scans is because they are already high risk anyway.. so that whole theory is really flawed. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: mumstheword
Date Posted: 03 August 2005 at 12:01pm
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ill agree its true, im at a high risk clinic, have no midwife, whih does kinda suck, you get a really good bond with your midwife you can ring her with your stupidist questions and not feel to stupid, i see a different dr/specialist every time I have an app, I feel stupid ringing clinic with my dumb little questions as the reeptionist cant help, im lucky though my midwife from caleb ia awesome i can still ring her and go and have a coffee and feel normal for ten mins, but im having scans every week, but i was told it wouldnt be harmful to the baby??? so who knows wat the real deal is.... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 03 August 2005 at 12:38pm
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I am in high risk clinic too....Because of my high blood pressure.
However I have a midwife...I wonder why they did not assign you with one. I had 5 scans so far and having another one next Monday. I doubt that the scans hurt the baby...surely they wont ask them to be done if they were..?? Well I sure hope not. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mumstheword
Date Posted: 03 August 2005 at 12:53pm
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when I feel preg and went to my gp he told me to get a midwife and a specialist so I did, then at 8weeks my specialist said I didnt need midwife, they woulndt fund 2 LMC's so sadly I said goodbye to my midwife, but yeah I still see her any way but not as her patient if thtas what we are??? I have to go to clinic as well as app with my specialist it takes up alot of tme ive had 7sans already, they want to book me in for elective c-section at 30 weeks so in like 12weeks 26th oct... im thinking that if I manage to go past 30wks they should let me, so im a bit confused, i had caleb at 31weeks and he was so sick in neonats for 2 mnths, God so many questions that ill have to ask my spec... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 03 August 2005 at 1:42pm
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Well its good that you can still talk to your midwife...as a friend!
Gosh you might end up with a baby before I do. Lets hope all goes well.... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 03 August 2005 at 2:09pm
wow, definately, if you go past 30 weeks they should leave you if you don't have any other health probs. how on earth could they think that artificial things out here are better than being inside you safe and warm. if there's no reason to get baby out then they should leave it alone. guess that's the nurse in me coming out lol. i hope you get the answers you need.
I think the thing about scans being harmful is a big load of bull really - if there was any sginificant risk then they couldn't be used so readily. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 03 August 2005 at 3:33pm
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I know in Germany they do heaps more scans than here and noone thinks that it is risky and didn't lizzie say they scan once a month in Japan or something??
Maybe they just don't want to fund it in NZ?? lol  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mumstheword
Date Posted: 03 August 2005 at 4:30pm
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yeah its strange how you hear so many differnt things, Caleb went in2 Fetal distress at 31weeks ause he was out of room and id been in labour for nearly 6weeks,they reckon il be luky to make 30 weeks, but i want to think positive 35weeks, they say baby may be here anytime after 25weeks, but since my waters already broke and i cant get up until til bubs arrives now. so im hoping ill go aslong as i an so bubs has time to grow a bit...but im gna stay positive until it all happens i tell myself ill make it till 35weeks ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 03 August 2005 at 10:40pm
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wow, ok, that puts a different spin on things. heres hoping all goes well for you. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 03 August 2005 at 11:19pm
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Yeah, I get a scan every month. Actually in japan I read they do a XRAY!!! at 37 weeks. Most women then get told that their pelvis is too small and they have to have a c-section. If you complain you get told that YOU MAY KILL THE BABY!!!! And people ask me why I came back to NZ to have Jake....
NB not all hospitals are like this however....disclaimer |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 04 August 2005 at 12:03pm
lol, you crack me up lizzie!  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 04 August 2005 at 4:24pm
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Hey Mumsthe word, my mum's waters broke at 27 weeks with my youngest brother, and she was hospitalised, but he wasn't actually born till 36 weeks (by c-sect). She had 12 weeks in hospital all up, but he was fine, only had a couple of days in the NICU. And that was 20 years ago now, I can only imagine what sort of medical advances they have made now! I'm sure you will be fine!
(PS Mum had an incompetent cervix, delivered 3 out of 4 babies preterm) ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: mumstheword
Date Posted: 05 August 2005 at 11:35am
i love hearing how people have been or have known someone thats been threw a similar thing, i dnt feel so alone, My uterues on a quater of the size of a normal urerus so it would be a miricle to make 35weeks, im glad i begged long enough tolet me come home on bedrest, id go mad in hospital, Caleb was born 2 31wks and was so sick died 5 times in the frist week, was on oxygen for 8mnths, but then my ousin had prem twins at 25weeks i think and they were little but fine, oxygen for 24hrs thas it, so its kinda the luck of the draw really... Calebs lugs wernt developed enough, even though id had steriods for 6 weeks.. so im hoping for a lil healthy bubs this time ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 05 August 2005 at 11:39am
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I am sure this bub will be fine...it has a strong Mum... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mumstheword
Date Posted: 05 August 2005 at 11:56am
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Thanks Im gald everythings good at the moment, my lifes going to go onto a boring spin for a while, my 2 closest friends have just had there babies and will be staying at home now and they used to come keep me sane on the couch, i have other friends that come visit but after theyv been her for 10mins im thinking god when are you gonna go home... And I wish it would rain, makes me feel better about being at home on the couch lol sun makes you want to be outside... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Southlandmummy
Date Posted: 05 August 2005 at 3:46pm
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Im sure things will be good too for you..
My sis in law 2B is also on bed rest, Shes only 12 weeks, But shes had 5 m/c and has Endo...(not sure how to spell!) .. All the best.. ------------- Cindy - Princess and Princes Samia Isobel Joy born 9th September 2008 Spencer Graeme John born 29th May 2006 Kaylin Gavin Robert born 19 December 2004 |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 05 August 2005 at 10:31pm
| OMG bed rest for possible 28 weeks. I'd go crazy!! but then if you just keep thinking "healthy baby in the end", mnaybe it would make it easier. take up knitting!!!! |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 06 August 2005 at 9:41am
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My sister had twins a few months months ago at 30 weeks. Her waters broke at 18 weeks and was in hospital on strict bedrest (using a bedpan and everything!)from 19 weeks. Her other baby lived with our parents during that time and I know it was really hard for her. I think she took up cross-stitch while she was stuck in bed and read lots of books! She stayed really positive tho and in the whole scheme of things she just kept thinking its only for a few weeks and she tried to make the most of having this time to rest before having the twins. Good luck mumstheword, hope all continues to go well for as long as possible! If its nice and sunny out, you could get hubby to put a mattress outside for you! ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: mumstheword
Date Posted: 06 August 2005 at 11:52am
Ive been naughty and going out to lie on the trampoline for a nap its been great, Yeah my outlook is healthy baby, im supposed to be in hosp but cause I live just round the corner i convinced them to let me go home... ive been really good, but for the fact i want my baby to stay in, for as long as possible, yaeh the possibility of 28 wks bedrest must be scary, will the let her get up at 14weeks? i was on bed rest for 1st trimester but not strict, no carrying vacuming hanging washing for same reason ive had 4 m/c's they thought id be ok after that till about 23 weeks then resting again, i think cause i felt so good i was doing a lil more than i should of been, i thoght that id be ok?? but i was wrong Iwas walking round the block every day, looking aftyer a friends kids and just being a normal busy mum..------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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