Worried
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=8392
Printed Date: 02 April 2026 at 12:15am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Worried
Posted By: aimeejoy
Subject: Worried
Date Posted: 19 June 2007 at 9:07pm
I know we have talked a bit before about fears and stuff, but do any of you get really worried when your significant other is out? Whenever Daniel goes anywhere (not around town, but out of town driving somewhere) I spend the whole evening quietly worrying that something will happen (car crash) and he won't come home. I am almost waiting for a policeman to turn up on my doorstep  I'm fine if he texts me when he gets there and when he leaves, but he usually forgets or is out of range. Tonight he has gone up the bay, left at 6 and was meant to text when he got there but didnt. I sent a message but no reply. My rational mind is saying he is most likely our of range, but still sitting here worried. Is this normal, or is it starting to go a bit far (like getting so worked up I cry, not always but has happened)?  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Replies:
Posted By: Brenna
Date Posted: 19 June 2007 at 9:12pm
|
HUGS!!! I'm just the same and it's worse since Brenna's arrived. I worry that he'll be in an accident then Brenna and I will be all our own
I'm sure you'll hear from DH any minute  -------------  My beautiful 2 girls...nearly 4 and 13 months
|
Posted By: Bumble
Date Posted: 19 June 2007 at 9:12pm
|
Its normal... I do that too...
My DH travels a heck of a lot. Like in 2.5 yrs he has done 77thou k's. and he does things like travel to Tauranga and back in a day (i.e. leave at 6 home at 6..) that kind of thing. He has had this job for 6 yrs and I still freak out when he travels..... My "thing" that I do is donate to the Westpac Rescue Helicopter Trust...I figure the year that I dont donate will be the year he needs it.... ------------- formerly known as "Bee" Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy! Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones! |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 19 June 2007 at 9:14pm
|
Phew, was beginning to seriously worry about my mental health. Thank you so much. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 19 June 2007 at 9:15pm
Big hugs Aimee! I am exactly the same! Whenever I hear there's been a truck involved in an accident I ring Willie immediately, and I've been known to call his dispatcher and make them call him on the RT if he doesn't answer his phone 
I worry about my family too, when I'm staying at Mum and Dad's I stay up and worry myself sick if my sister stays out too late, yet when I'm here I have no idea how late she is so I don't worry. Completely irrational - and completely normal! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 19 June 2007 at 9:19pm
|
From our house we can hear the fire siren (volunteer fire service here) and it usually means accident, if Daniel has recently left home and it goes off I totally freak! So glad its not just me, and it has got lots worse since we had Han. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 19 June 2007 at 9:59pm
|
So not just you Aimee. Whenever DH goes away I am very worried when he either doesn't answer his phone or takes a while to respond to a txt. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 19 June 2007 at 10:00pm
Thank freaking goodness I'm not the only nutcase whose like that!!! 
I tend to worry too if B is going somewhere big and I like to hear from him....heck if I don't hear from him all day I've been known to worry. Gosh I'm a dag!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 19 June 2007 at 10:08pm
|
I worry if Dh is out and I text him but dont hear back - usually its because he has put it on silent then left it somewhere where he cant fel the vibrations. But it always me worry heaps, then i get angry. -------------  
|
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 19 June 2007 at 10:12pm
|
He has finally just text now (10pm) to say he's on his way home... Grrr. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 19 June 2007 at 10:18pm
|
oh Aimee.... I am the same. Today I was phoning Atish and his phone says inactive...I started to stress as he was feeling unwell with tummy bug at work and said he was going home. I was thinking ok why would the damn thing say inactive?? I phoned and phoned and then I just drove home at lunch and there he was. Arrgggg. So we found out that vodafone is having some problems.
And you having preggy hormones also helps. Big hugs!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 19 June 2007 at 10:26pm
|
Maybe you could try and wean yourself off worrying? I used to worry all the time when DH was away (but you know, with guns and bombs etc I thought I had good reason!) but then I realised after his 5 months in Afghanistan that the only thing you do when you worry and stress out about those things is harm yourself. If it happens, it happens, although I know its hard not to worry, they are big boys and unless he's been in quite a lot of accidents etc is it really rational to worry?
Sorry to be blunt, it is just my opinion and I know that I have an unusual situation where you have to learn to let go so maybe I'm a bit biased on the blaze sie of things |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 19 June 2007 at 10:42pm
It's not rational but women aren't rational 
I do. I'm getting better, but if it seems unusually long that DH has been out, the thoughts go through my mind. Of course I tell myself how silly it is, but I can't help but feel a little relieved when he's home ------------- |
Posted By: Chovynz
Date Posted: 19 June 2007 at 10:48pm
|
Pshh... women....
You make yourselves sick with worry then get angry at us for not actually having anything wrong....!!!! ------------- Defending the male species since 1980
|
Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 19 June 2007 at 11:11pm
|
i worry about dh when he is late home from work - he takes a scooter to work and i always imagine him having an accident or some stupid car driver ignoring him on it.... then i get REALLY ratty when he does get home... ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe - my big 4 year old
and Jordis - 1 year old 
|
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 7:02am
| i have on occasiona worried. i plan to get life insurance for him to ease my woes. |
Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 7:57am
|
LOL Chovynz - thats what I was thinking. I worry if hubby has been away longer than he says and doesn't answer phone or texts and when he does get home - all happy and alive - I am so pi$$ed with him for making me worry and not answering my calls or texts... It's kinda funny. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 8:19am
|
I'm the same. DF drives an hour to work each day (no not too bad I know but all on SH1). I worry all the time. When he was working long days I worried more...but he knows this and is "quite" good at texting me to tell me I can go back to sleep he is nearly home.
|
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 8:20am
That would ease your worries? ------------- |
lizzle wrote:Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 8:33am
I always worry when B bikes to work...Albany highway can be nasty and goodness knows so many drivers don't give a stuff about cyclists!! The number of times I was pushed off the road cycling to work!  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: hailstones
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 9:29am
|
I am the same aimeejoy - the volunteer fire alarm is VERY close to us and it often means accidents too (we live down the otago peninsula and people often go into the harbour), when it goes off I freak and ring DH, I worry even more now that we are getting heaps of frosts as the road get VERY icy! Can't help it! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 9:53am
|
I worry too... I know it's irrational, but I can console myself with the knowledge that Nat worries just as much if I'm out alone! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 10:43am
|
I'm the same! So glad you posted this, I thought I was just an excessive case! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
|
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 10:46am
|
i do it too, especially with some of the stories mike tells me about their antics when they all go travelling for speedway etc.
that and i know sometimes when we aren't in the car he isn't the best.. has stopped as far as i know now that he has kids to think of. he once got from palmy (by the esplanade) to sitting down in wanganui speedway... in 22 minutes. he got home and told me and i went nuts at him. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
|
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 11:12am
| If R is late coming home from work I get more annoyed than worried now, some of the skills I have learned for managing my anxiety problems are really useful in situations like these though - positive self-talk, challenging negative thoughts, and of course good old Rescue Remedy! |
Posted By: shaz
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 12:34pm
|
I do the same I think it's just natural to worry, what are we going to be like when our kids start going out. No actually it's probably better not to start thinking about that yet. My eldest is 11 so it will start far to soon. |
Posted By: megrac
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 1:57pm
|
i do the same and cant sleep if he has gone out with his mates or if he goes for a long drive. but i have had the dreaded phone call before when he was a fisherman thay were on land for the night and thay had a few drinks at the clubs in taruranga and some 4 ramdon large guys he didnt even know (we do even come from there ) decided that it was a good idear to beat him up. his mum rang me in the morning and said he was i the hospital. he dosent rember much but he had broken = nose, eyebrow, coller bone and ribs and swolen so bad he had foot prints on his chest, and he had stitches in his eyebrow as well. thay did catch the guys thanks to a nice lady who saw the whole thing from her car and called the cops. and thay got taken to court and convivted and thay had to pay us out some money. the scrarist thing is that a week later a guy was killed the same way in tarunga. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 2:35pm
oooo megrac Then I'd be freaked out everytime he went to the pub  ------------- |
Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 3:41pm
|
I worry the same, Dh has a motorbike, an ever since I have been pregnant I worry that he won't come back... I can't sleep if he isn't home, and try and make him text me when arriving/before leaving places...
He just thinks I am crazy for worrying, but he tries hard to stay in contact, because now he knows that I do worry... ------------- Mum to two beautiful kids
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 4:05pm
We're talking about Liz here... of course it would
|
Posted By: lil_miss
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 7:59pm
| I think its a female thing :) I dont know many ppl who dont.. |
Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 22 June 2007 at 2:54pm
PMSL at your comment hehe
I a big worry wart!! Can't stop myself!!! Oh well ------------- 
|
Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 22 June 2007 at 2:56pm
|
OMG Janine if he was my dh he would be sleeping in his car for week !!! -------------
|
Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 22 June 2007 at 3:03pm
|
I am the same! But this also extends to me worrying when I am in the car with him. I HATE cars, motorbikes, anything with an engine just doesn't agree with me. I hate going fast, I hate corners, I hate trucks going past, I hate windy roads, I hate going in the car in wet weather, I hate going on long journeys and I really dislike going in the car at night time... Also, during the day isn't much better.
I don't know why I have a fear of cars, but my mum is the same and she doesn't drive and never will. I will also never drive. I always worry, even though my DP is a really good driver and doesn't speed. But then for some reason whenever a boyracer goes past him or near him, he has this instinctive urge to start driving like a maniac or a rally car driver. We are going to Dargaville for a wedding in a few weeks and I am absolutely dreading it! Am I the only one? |
Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 22 June 2007 at 3:46pm
|
This is an interesting thread as I am the one in our house that travels the country, usually over 1,000kms per week for my job! DH and my Mum ring me a couple of times a day on my mobile to check I am o.k, especially if the weather is bad, eg today it has been shocking and I had to drive Matamata, Morrinsville, Cambridge, Huntly with stops in each town for work, then back to home in Auckland! I have been doing it for 6 years now, so DH is fairly used to is, but I can't wait to leave when I have the baby and I don't have to drive so much anymore!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 22 June 2007 at 4:52pm
I don't! I'm serious, I have never had the urge to worry, I'm not his mother. The only times I've worried, like I've said before, is when I heard NZ soldiers had been bombed in Afghanistan. Turned out it was him, but he wasn't hurt. There's bigger things in life to worry about than your men living their lives like normal people. Sorry just my opinion. |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 22 June 2007 at 9:32pm
|
Emz, I didnt used to worry, its only since having kids and thinking about raising them without their dad around.
And Renee, one of the reasons I do worry is cos mine DOES go rally driving - its very safe and I often go with him, but I still worry  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |