World’s most unsupportive (ranty)
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=8563
Printed Date: 11 October 2025 at 5:05am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: World’s most unsupportive (ranty)
Posted By: nuttymama
Subject: World’s most unsupportive (ranty)
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 6:43am
HUSBAND!!! I refuse to use DH to describe him at the moment! The story goes:
5 weeks ago I stood on glass andit was stuck in my toe. The hospital A&E tried to dig it out to no avail and referred me to a specialist two weeks later. Jaybe and Abby were sick that Monday and hubby couldn't take time off work so I had to cancel. They made me another appointment for the Monday just gone and on Saturday Jaybe andAbby got sick again (Damm flu) so I informed Hubby that I didn't give a rats about work he was taking time off so I could go to my appointment as the glass was driving me crazy. Anyway Hubby dropped me off at the hospital for what I though was just a consultation to get the works moving to have the glass removed. My appointment was at 9-30 I got in at 9-50 and they decided to do more x-rays to make sure it was in the same place. Finally at 11-15 they called me in again. A surgeon came in and said he was really angry that it wasn't taken out the night I went to A&E so they had decided that it had to come out that day! I had no choice they were admitting me and would operate that afternoon as they had a space. So I rang Hubby who then spent the next 15mins yelling at me and calling me an idiot because I must have known what was going to happen and he had to get back to work as that was more important etc. I hung up and went and sat down, then my phone rang and he preceded to yell again and then said "so what I just tell the kids you won't be coming home", which really upset me as they thought I would be home soon. So once again I hung up. I sent him a text telling him exactly what I thought of him. I went up to the ward and got settled in then had to ring hubby to ask if he could pick up my bag and jewelery as I didn't want then sitting near my bed when I was in surgery. He grudgingly came and only stayed a few minutes and left. I went into surgery at 2-15pm and came out at 4-15 and thankfully they got the glass. But I was feeling really sh*tty as they had given me morphin (which my body hates). Hubby came up with the kids at 7-00 and asked me if I was coming home, the nurse suggested I stay in that night as I was still very woozy and nauseas, but I figured if I was going to be miserable it may as well be in my own bed so I was allowed home at 8-15, with strick instructions from the hospital that I had to have someone there for the next 24hours. Hubby told them that that was fine he was taking the next day off. I figured maybe he had realised what an arse he had been. He did apologize to me but also said at the same time "you have to see where I'm coming from I have to be at work" (keeping in mind he works 50-60 hours a week and then works at home and never takes time off. Then blow me down he has a go at me yesterday about having to be home!! So I simply told him I didn't know why he had bothered as he hadn't actually done anything to help me anyway! This must have struck a chord as he tidied the mess they made then night before and did the dishes, but for me it was a to little to late. He kicked me when I was really down and then just kept going. This has always been a problem with us, he is always putting work before his family. Then to rub salt on the wounds he had been talking to his mother and mine and keeping them updated and I had to hear how wonderfully supportive he was!! The doting husband and father. This is the same man who ran my lot down yesterday because they hadn't offered to take the kids so he could stay at work. Might I add they were still unwell and my mother can't afford to catch anything! ARGGHHH MEN!!!!!! Sorry for the ramble but if I didn't get that off my chest I was going to explode. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Replies:
Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 6:52am
 big hugs first of all for getting glass stuck in your foot!!! OWEY! you were brave putting up with it.
what can i say? MEN! i really dont get them sometimes. SORRY TO ALL MEN!!! hey they dont get us much either so i shouldnt appoligise! lol. sorry your hubby was like that, and ramble away, it is better to get things off your chest than keep them bottled inside. it sux though when you (or we) get treated like that... grr. all the best xxoo |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 7:49am
|
Wow sounds like a really shi**y day. Not trying to stick up for your hubby at all but for some men (mine included) being a good husband means making enough money to support their family and the more they make the better they feel. No excuse for him yelling at you and making you feel like dirt. I wonder if he realised how important it was that you get the glass removed ie, if it had moved and gotten into your blood stream it could have travelled anywhere and done major damage.
sorry you had such a rough time. Hope the rest of the week goes well for you ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 8:20am
|
OMG!! That sounds awful. Poor you. Hope that he pulls his head in and ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 8:50am
|
to you and hope your hubby wakes up and smells the coffee sometime soon. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 9:10am
It's a wonder there aren't more lesbians in the world 
|
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 9:20am
Me thinking exactly the same thing. I onced told hubby he better be careful I have a child now so I can go lezzy on him. Sorry to hear about the ass of a hubby. Hope you feel better soon. They sometimes seriously dont think at all. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
pepsi wrote:Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 9:35am
|
oo that would be soooooo frustrating!! I hear you on the mother thing, mine does the same to me -------------  |
Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 9:44am
LMAO  .
As I informed him it's great he is so dedicated to work but it would be nice if he had that same dedication to his family. He chooses to work such long hours, his contract is 40 hours not 50 or 60. He's also just been promoted to manager so I hate to think what that's going to do. They are putting him on a salary to try and stop him earning so much, so hopefully he won't want to work if he's not getting paid for it. At the moment he gets up before us comes home eats tea yells at the kids because he's tired and falls asleep on the couch, gets up after we have gone to bed and goes on the computer until the wee hours of the morning and starts all over again. Seriously I feel like a married single mother! O.K enough whining for today! Ohhh and he kicked my toe last night in his sleep  .
seriously enough now. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 10:10am
|
Hugs to you! I can come after him with a big stick if you like. -------------  
|
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 10:14am
|
Oh gosh... not pretty. Really not nice that he yelled at you when you were getting surgery?!?!
And very backwards on the computer til small hours if he is so tired! Maybe he needs more sleep and then he'd be a bit nicer? Slip him some sleeping pills?? (OK - joking. )
Hope you manage to sort this out Vick... or just know we are here when you need to vent 
|
Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 10:14am
|
We have exactly the same problem re. work being more important than family (or so he makes me feel) DH owns his own business so it is a little different and if he doesn't put in the long hours it really affects the business. But yeah - it really hurts when they put work before the kids. Due to work comitments he didn't see Caitlin all last week ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 
|
Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 10:43am
Ah men, you can't live with us, you can't live without us,  .
Don't you know, when you are at home you are ment to be able to do everything. I would have him on and say you got a call and there is a prob and you will have to go back to hospital for a week. ------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD 
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 10:48am
|
Big hugs Vick, from someone who's DP went to work while she was giving birth - I feel your pain re: workaholic hubbys!
Hope your toe is better quickly! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 11:09am
hahaha brilliant! |
Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 11:16am
Yep I agree I like the way your evil mind works, I could just imagine his face!! .
Emma work!! that's harsh I thought I had it bad! I'll give hubby some credit I guess he did take three weeks off for each child. But in my defense I'm not having a child every time I want him to have holidays. Last year he got a warning that he had to take holidays as he had 8 weeks accrued and was due for more. Toni - poor caitlin I bet she missed her dad. Miss - a big stick now that's a tempting offer .
Thank you very much for letting me rant, I'm starting to feel better already! ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: Rackhell
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 11:28am
|
Sometimes they just don't think, do they? Hope that new salaried experience readjusts his work/life thinking.
Hope that toe is recovering? |
Posted By: JD
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 12:11pm
|
for you
Sorry, but what an arse!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 1:07pm
|
I second that JD! i told my DP and he couldnt beleive a guy could be like that. He said he wouldnt be game to treat me like that cos it wouldnt be worth it i would let rip yelling abuse at him and prolly kick him or where it really hurts kick his race car hehehe. He also knows that it wouldnt matter what he told my mother i would tell her the truth and she would tell him off as well hahaha. You should sent him to Hubby boot camp and if there isnt one someone should start one.
Sorry but that is one situation where he should have been more supportive! -------------   
|
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 1:46pm
|
Vick, hope your foot is feeling ok and your hubby cuts back on the work a bit now he's on a salary. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 27 June 2007 at 3:49pm
|
gggrrrr at your husband for you....
i wish they would learn that work is NOT more important that family. i like the old adage we should work to live not live to work... hope your foot feels ok and the kids are better.... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
|
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 28 June 2007 at 12:14pm
|
Aw Vick - you did well not to do him any serious damage! I could join you on the 'sux when they put work before family' thing (mine answered a phone call from his boss while I was in labour in the birthing room, and took just that one day off work!), or even get into the whole 'they put work first because they think it's the right thing to do to provide for their family...' blah blah blah but I really just think your hubby was being an arse at the time and I hope he's eating humble pie today! You poor chickie - I would say give him a boot from me, but you can't even do that with your foot! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 28 June 2007 at 1:42pm
|
... use your good foot and give him one from me too ------------- http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 28 June 2007 at 1:48pm
|
He was eating humble pie yesterday when he got home. He offered to cook tea! (he can't cook and never wants to learn) so that was a shocker. He then preceded to wait on me hand and foot for the rest of the night!
Maybe he has been sneaking onto Ohbaby and reading up about himself! Now if he could just avoid the whole needing to suck up that would be great but baby steps. On a good note the kids are back at school and creche. The toe has stopped throbbing although can't walk on it yet and had to do my groceries with one shoe on as can't get one on my sore foot, so felt a little silly. Did get my sock colour to match my shoe though. You guys have been great it's nice to know I'm not the only one with a workaholic husband maybe we should start up a group for them "Workaholics anonymous" In the birthing room!!! Did you whack him? And only one day!! What are these men thinking??? ANDIE Said "they put work first because they think it's the right thing to do to provide for their family...' blah blah blah" As I have told Hubby before no good doing that if your families not there when you get home because you neglected them for too long!!!
Stay strong ladies ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 28 June 2007 at 1:52pm
Two Blondinis Said .. use your good foot and give him one from me too. LOL Apparently I kicked him in my sleep last night, but he said it must have been with my sore foot as he woke up and I was groaning and saying Owww in my sleep! ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |