what would you do in this situation?
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=9064
Printed Date: 04 October 2025 at 2:58am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: what would you do in this situation?
Posted By: AnnieB
Subject: what would you do in this situation?
Date Posted: 12 July 2007 at 3:54pm
|
Hi,
Lucy and I had a play date today and both girls were sitting playing and out of no where charli turns around and hits lucy,  Charli's only 1 so a bit older then Lucy, but her mum just told charli don't do that. What does she do? everytime her mums back is turn bam hits lucy again,I picked Lucy up as she was crying but the mum just seem to ignore her daughters behavior. My question is did you think its ok to tell someones child off for that kinda behavior if the parents are ignoring it?------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Replies:
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 12 July 2007 at 4:05pm
|
If a parent seems to be ignoring or not noticing I will sometimes move their hand away or tell them no - but I'm probably quite 'gentle' in my approach. If I was the other mother in this situation I would have actually moved my child out of reach of your bubba. 1yos don't really have much clue, they don't mean to hurt and they don't really understand 'no' too well. So it's a tricky one, but moving your DD out of the way seemed to be the best thing you could have done. -------------  |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 12 July 2007 at 4:22pm
|
There is a wee boy in my coffee group who is obsessed with hair and keeps pulling all the wee girls hair. His mother is really good and tells him off and will take him away but really at that age even 'no' can be a joke, they tend to laugh when told off and there isnt really much you can do. I agree I would have taken the child away and depending on how close you are maybe you can say something. i know we all tell this wee boy no and take his hand away etc.. but there really isnt much you can do.
I was at chipmunks about a month ago and Addison was standing against the ball pool and a wee boy around the same age wandered over, grabbed a handfull of her hair and pulled her to the ground. Took me and his mum to try and get his hand unclenched and let her go. My poor baby was screaming and the mother was obviously embarrased and didnt stop apologising. Its just the age unfortunately |
Posted By: Gwen_
Date Posted: 12 July 2007 at 4:23pm
|
I agree with Busymum, I would just say "no" and move Lucy away or distract the other bubba ------------- We're in America for 3 months with Mummy and Daddy! http://lilypie.com">  
|
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 12 July 2007 at 4:33pm
|
I also agree with the above, say no and move DD away. My boy has been labelled a "bully" but to me he is exploring his boudaries. ONCE (yes once) he pushed a girl and she cried.
|
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 12 July 2007 at 5:15pm
|
at our last coffee group ella was given a bumbo to sit in - but the little boy who is 1 knew it was his...well he pushed ella a bit, his mum intervened and i was grateful but she told me to just tell him off etc if he got too rough...i didnt want to do that - thats her job...so i picked up ella as well!
Id leave it to them to discipline their kids...and us to ours... |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 12 July 2007 at 7:37pm
 a 12mo should not be called a bully! I wonder if he's a bit rougher, being a boy, and the namer has a girl.------------- |
amy wrote:Posted By: floss
Date Posted: 12 July 2007 at 7:45pm
| I would have done the exact same as you but also told the other child that it is not nice to hit or push and use gentle hands, we are trying to teach Sienna all about gentle hands at the moment as she can get a bit rough I don't think that she means to but I figure the earlier I start the better it will be. |
Posted By: jamesmum
Date Posted: 12 July 2007 at 9:37pm
| I agree with what everyone else has said and moved your bubs away, I would have done the same. |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 12 July 2007 at 10:08pm
| I hate it when other mums don't seem to do enough to stop their childs behaviour. Jack can be a bit rough at playgroup but I always remove him from the situation. |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 13 July 2007 at 6:58am
| i have said this before, but i don't mind rough behaviour as I know it is usually just the age. what gets me angry is the lack of any remark from the parent. i know when Jake hits other kids or pushes them (which thank goodness happens les and less nowadays) I always will make him apologise and stuff. the mother or father's reaction is what will anger (or please) me. |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 13 July 2007 at 10:38am
|
ditto liz....i always tell jack to apologise when he gets abit rough and tell him it's not nice.
but if someone elses kid does that to mine without saying anything, i think i would say 'no, that's not a nice thing to do' and take my kid away. but it depends on the situation as to whether i'd say anything. ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 13 July 2007 at 12:20pm
|
Maya was thankfully never very rough, but I am having this with the gremlins at the moment. Mercedes seems to think that Sienna's sole purpose for existing is to be poked/pulled/scratched/smacked. It's not deliberate I don't think, more of a case of her being fascinated with how her sister 'works'. I just make sure that I don't put Sienna in arms reach, and if they start getting too close I move them apart again. I don't want to intervene too much as I don't want to teach Sienna to be a sooky, but at the same time don't want to teach Mercedes that it's ok to be a bully wench.
If it was someone else's kid I'd probably move mine still, I'm not a fan of telling other people's kids off, altho I'd probably also have a word to the mum and say "hey, can you sort your kid out please". ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 13 July 2007 at 12:23pm
|
Yes busymum right on the button... I don't think he is a bully, but he definately is a boy!!!!!
|
Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 13 July 2007 at 2:00pm
|
No from the beginning post Charli is a girl not a boy as Annie mentioned her mum told her no
Charli I have heard as being short for Charlize as a girls name |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 13 July 2007 at 3:02pm
|
i would of said something to the kid if the mother wasn't, although I read that she did but ignored when it was done again. I am all for ignoring the bed behaviour but there is a time and a place and not at the mercy of other children. So what imo and what I would of done is said in the nicest possible way to the kid that its not nice and it hurts Lucy and aww poor lucy and pick up lucy so that the mother sees its not ok. Because sometimes ppl don't care if their kid gets 'bullied' by another child as long as its not extremly hurting (does that make sense??) ie: rhyley had play date with two 'older' girls, there were times where he got toys taken off him by force some times and times where he nearly got hit with toys as they are walking he is not' Now it didn't bother me as he has to learn that some times things like that happens, but I did interveen when he was very happy with his little book and one of the girls took it off him, he looked very sad so I just said to the little girl - now Niamh give it back to Rhyley cause he was playing with it and swapped another toy' both kids happy,
now although they weren't hitting him I still took it upon myself to do the 'telling'off but very nicely cause really they are only just learning and a 1 year old can not realise that what they are doing is 'bad behaviour' they have to be taught. Anyway thats my two cents worth I hope it made sense?! ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 13 July 2007 at 10:16pm
or maybe not short for anything....just charli   ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
|