Children and weddings.
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Topic: Children and weddings.
Posted By: caliandjack
Subject: Children and weddings.
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 11:33am
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As a member of a wedding forum this is a topic that comes up regularly so I thought I would put it to the experts.
How do you feel about having children at weddings? If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children? If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway? If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding? ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Replies:
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 11:38am
| I have just recently been invited to three weddings - all times only my husband and my name was on the invites. we have asked them if children are okay at the ceremony or reception. they have said that the ceremony is okay, but they would prefer the reception to be adult only. Perfectly fine with us. we'll leave the kids at home for the first, and organise a babysitter for the other two. i would never take my children without chekcing with the family as I find that rude. |
Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 11:44am
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i would never assume to take my kids to a wedding reception, unless the bride and groom told us first they would be welcome. i just dont think receptions are places for kids. but i do think that the ceremony is suitable for kids, and i love taking my girls and having a horseshoe for the bride for them to give.
if i wasnt able to take my girls to the ceremony, i would really think twice about going at all, i would think the b & g are being too precious about the wedding. i know it is their day, but it is also about sharing that day with family and friends, and in my book that is young and old. but having said that, my big girl loves weddings and knows how to behave, and my little girl - well she is too little to know how to behave!, but if she started making a noise i would take her away so she didnt disrupt things. ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe -  my big 4 year old 
and Jordis - 1 year old 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 11:54am
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That is what my thoughts are. I love to see children at the ceremony and to enjoy themselves.
I do think the reception is more for adults, it can be a bit boring for children which is when they seem to become disruptive. Also I think its nice for parents/adults to relax and enjoy themselves. If the wedding was out of town, would having the B&G organise a baby sitter for the evening be appreciated? ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 12:21pm
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How do you feel about having children at weddings?
Personally we had them and were quite happy with that. Though as it happens a lot of our guest left thier kids with sitters and enjoyed a night out! But it is the bride and groom's day, not the guests, it is up to the bride and groom what they want and that should be respected no matter what. Yes it nice to children at a wedding but for some childless couples they might not appreciate having young kids who are too young to know how to sit still, running riot at the ceremony. Not all adults are immune to the noise and I personally don't think it's selfish for them to have the day they want. If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children? ? No, I would check if it wasn't specified on the invite. If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway? ? No way!! I would not be that rude! If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding? Assuming we could get a babysitter then yes I would. The only thing I could see stopping us would be if there were issues organising a sitter but seeing as you normally have months notice it shouldn't be much of an issue. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 12:26pm
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If the wedding was out of town, would having the B&G organise a baby sitter for the evening be appreciated?
that would be a separate issue for me....then yes I would be assuming either kids were welcome (and specified on the invite) or a sitter had been organised or details of a service provided. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 1:15pm
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How do you feel about having children at weddings?
I think children at weddings is a good thing. Of course they need to be behaving well, not running around or being noisy, but most kids can handle an hour long ceremony alright. If they can't, I would expect to see (and have often seen) their parents take them to a quiet room or outside for a bit. If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children? ? Yes - to the ceremony but not to the reception unless specified. If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway? ? If it was clear that children were not invited, I'd only take anyone who needed bf (in my case, up to 1yo). If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding? Probably. Organising a sitter can be difficult and it depends on the ages of the children to be left behind etc. If we had a just turned 1yo, I would probably skip it and just send DH - because they don't do too well at being left. It would depend a lot on how 'important' (close) the couple were to us. Most of the weddings we have attended recently have been out of town and that is even more difficult with children. If we are going out of town, we need to take the children with us. Once we have been 'okayed' to bring the children and done the ceremony and reception (in Levin) with them. That went ok, we packed heaps of stuff to keep the children amused and quiet, but it was also a lunch reception, not dinner - so that helped a lot. Another out of town wedding we went to, we stayed over in a motel and asked a teenage friend to come stay with us so that she could bbsit the girls while we went to the reception. We made sure she had her own room, and it went really well. We did this because the wedding was at 3pm but the reception didn't finish until after 10pm, so it would have been too long to be away from the children (plus 1 1/4 hours drive each way) - Briona was 15mos and weaned. I wouldn't take advantage of an organised sitter, I would appreciate the b&g trying to be helpful but I wouldn't leave my girls with someone they didn't know. Not at this stage. After 4 or 5 years would be better - but only if I knew the sitter was really trustworthy etc. ------------- |
Posted By: Lulu
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 1:46pm
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How do you feel about having children at weddings?
It's an individual choice of the bride and groom - it doesn't bother me if children are at the wedding, but I can understand trying to keep costs down by excluding children. We specified no children at our wedding. If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children? No If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway? Definately not, how rude! If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding? Yes as long as I could arrange alternative arrangements for the child/ren. ------------- Lou http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 2:15pm
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How do you feel about having children at weddings? I don't mind, We had Andrew at ours and he was no problem as he had grandparents looking after him. The other children that were there, were the resonsibility of the parents and they knew that. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 2:36pm
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How do you feel about having children at weddings? At my wedding if I had one wouldnt have been a problem. I dont mind having kids around.
If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children? No I dont. It is what the bride and her groom wants no one else's opinion count. It is their day. If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway? No that would be disrespectfull If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding? No as I feel my child is still too young to be left with other people. Except if her gran was here perhaps but I wont stay away for longer than 3 hours. __________________ ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 2:49pm
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thanks, I will stick with my original decision.
Invite my nieces - jnr bridesmaid and flower girl and my matron of honours children, they are all school aged and I understand her 1yr old can't be left. I feel if I allow some guests to bring their children then all of our guests will expect to, and at the reception we have to pay for them. I would be happy for children to be at the ceremony, its in a garden and not very long. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 3:44pm
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We had kids at our wedding. Mostly beacuse the guests with kids were all travelling 6 hrs to get to the wedding. The few people that lived in the town where our wedding was that had kids didnt bring theirs. Those kids were older, and we didnt write their names on the invites, but MIL did ask them if they wanted to bring them before we sent the invites and they said no. We would have invited them too if they had wanted to bring them as we did invite lots of other kids. Several couples that travelled did however leave their kids home for the weekend with family. We had 7 kids under the age of 12,and 3 unborn bubs!
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 3:46pm
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How do you feel about having children at weddings?
I think it's a waste of money - the children don't appreciate what the day is about. If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children? No I wouldn't expect - & probably wouldn't want too If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway? No way, totally rude! But some people have done it 
If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding? Yes, if I could find a babysitter. At my wedding no children were invited except for my 16 mth old niece. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 5:15pm
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How do you feel about having children at weddings?
I think most kids love being at the ceremony. Obviously sometimes babies can cry, but thats when parents should take them out. We had HEAPS of kids at our wedding ceremony, and quite a few were involved in different ways (part of bridal party, junior ushers, in a guard of honour). But at the reception, the only kids there were the ones in the bridal party. Oh and a wee breastfed baby. If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children? Depends on how old the children are, but I would like to take them to the ceremony but not the reception. I think it's something really special for kids to see and understand a bit of. But the reception is an adults time, and usually goes too late for kids. Most of the parents at our reception were looking forward to an evening out! Plus it gets really expensive if you're paying for heaps of kids to be at the reception, so I wouldn't expect that from the bride and groom. If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway? Heck no! If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding? Yes, would probably get my parents to babysit. I recognise that for various reasons, some people don't want kids at their wedding. And when it comes down to it, it's their day - and the guests should be there to support the bride and groom and celebrate in their wedding. ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 5:24pm
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How do you feel about having children at weddings? We are getting married in october and it is a STRICTLY no children wedding. I'm ok if guests *have* to bring their littlies to the ceremony, but definately not the reception. It is the B and G's day and not the day of other peoples children. That said, though, mine will be at the ceremony, and taken away after. We're getting married at 7pm anyhow. In my experience, it's mum that ends up looking after over tired kids while dad takes advantage of the free bar... As most of the guests, no ALL of the guests with wee 'uns are on my side, I don't think its fair to my friends... If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children? Not unless they were invited. And if they were, ceremony only, for the above reason! If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway? HELL NO!!! I might think my children are perfectly behaved, but others won't. I have had to be very loud and clear with our intentions about this as I Have heard of a few of our guests talking about the kids at the wedding, and I have had to say, well, sorry, but we are having no children, not even our own. Although there will e 2 guests with new (as in weeks old) babies who will be very welocme to bring their babies as I know at least one of them will be b/f (and the other I really don't think she will come, its my SIL and she hates me cos I'm a snob..) If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding? yes, of course!!! And if B and G organised sitters, I would (and did last year at a wedidng we went to in te anau) use them. I've got a few lined up for those who are travelling and bringing children. [/QUOTE] ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 5:28pm
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How do you feel about having children at weddings?
Didnt want kids at our wedding apart from immediate family. If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children? No If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway? No If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding? Yes ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: Katherine
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 5:31pm
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How do you feel about having children at weddings? If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway? If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding? My two cents' worth -- just my opinion! |
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 6:04pm
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How do you feel about having children at weddings?
We had loads at the cereemony as I invited my class. We had none at the reception as the venue was not child friendly. Childrena t eweddigns depends totally on who is having the wedding, where the wedding is ad what type of wedding it is. If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children? No, weddings cost a fortune so if my child is invited thent hat is a priviledge, not a right. If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway? No way - if I was invited at this stage and no bubs included I might ring and discuss it as 2 weeks is a little young to leave her with a sitter, but I wouldn't expect that even the babies age would mean we would be allowed to take her if they didn't want kids there. If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding? At this stage no, simply because she is too young, but it only the age thing, not a nose out of joint. -------------  
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 7:37pm
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I don't get why you are all saying its too expensive too have children at weddings - are you talking about the reception not the ceremony? ------------- |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 7:50pm
I would think so. Where we are getting married/having reception, it is price per head regardless of age, so in teh grand scheme of things, we only really want to pay for about 110 people max, and to include children (even friends teenagers) means there are adults that we would like to invite but can't. And, Katherine, you would hate me, we have just done our invites and it mentions our registry, as well as includes a card!!!! We have everything and can afford to buy it if we need it (mostly..) and I hate ornaments (even though Nikki is getting me a dragon with a ball..) all our spare $$ are going towards our wedding, then we are putting a pool in, so we have asked people not to buy us anyhting please, but if you feel you would like to, we have set up a travel registry at the flight centre. We're planning a family holiday in Fiji somewhere next year..  ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
busymum wrote:Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 8:11pm
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Yep, I had younger people at my wedding ceremony (a 14 year old from my band and my 15 year old cousin) and they ended up coming to the reception only because we had a few people not turn up at all (another story alltogether My feeling as a parent is going to a wedding is a "night off" you don't have to worry about your children and can relax and enjoy yourself. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 8:30pm
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How do you feel about having children at weddings?
We didn't invite kids to ours but in hindsight I would have invited them. Some people brought their kids anyway and (although it is rude) on the day I never noticed, except that one gave me a horseshoe and it was really sweet. My thoughts on this changed before we had kids, btw! If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children? No, it's up to the bride and groom and totally their choice. Some people just don't like kids! I would ask if I wasn't sure. If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway? NO WAY. If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding? It would depend on the kids, and the location of the wedding. If it was local, yes. If it involved travel to get there and the kids were young, maybe not. DH and I wouldn't split up to make it (ie: one stay at home with the kids and one go) |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 14 July 2007 at 8:44pm
I have a whole lot on neices and nephews, but I didnt want any kids at the reception. I just felt that the parents never relax and they need a night off, as well as it being the b and g's day. They were at the ceremony, then went off with a babysitter. My biggest annoyance of our day, was my husbands anut and uncle bringing their 10 year old twin boys! They just assumed they were invited, didnt ask at all  Luckily, two people didnt show up (and didnt tell us, grr again!) so we didnt have to shuffle our seating plan.
I was a BM when Han was 4 months old. If my parents werent invited to the wedding I would have left her with them, but as they came as well, she came to the reception, then Daniel took her home when she got tired. I definitely dont expect kids to be invited and would always check beforehand. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Skyflame
Date Posted: 15 July 2007 at 10:14am
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My best friend is getting married at the start of November and I am bridesmaid. My parents are also invited but partially since it is out of town and they can look after Caleb. Children are not invited to this wedding with our boy being the exception. Mum and Dad are going to look after him while we are at the reception, so we can have a night off.
I know she has had some issues with people expecting to have their kids come but I think most of them have now accepted that it is a chance to have a night off and relax without the kids in tow. I have no problems with kids at weddings as long as they are reasonably behaved, although unless they are breastfed it can be nice to be able to enjoy the reception without them. I would never take my kids to a wedding they werent invited to, and would also check if they weren't included on the invite. I would still go to a wedding my kids werent invited to as long as they were old enough to be looked after by someone I trusted. |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 15 July 2007 at 2:48pm
A lot of people make comments like this, IMO it is a dumb comment to make - as though the parents can't make up their own minds if they want a night off. ------------- |
Posted By: Sarah Beth
Date Posted: 15 July 2007 at 3:22pm
Unfortunately every wedding I have been to where children were invited, there was a young child that cried through the ceremony. I get that the mum wants to see the ceremony but honestly, the last one we couldn't hear a thing as the child was right behind us and I could see the bride getting frustrated as well. Some people just wont leave (even if a scary pregnant women glares at them ).
We had no children at all at our wedding. Because of this my SIL didn't come as she didn't feel welcome if her kids weren't. That was her choice and we stipulated no children and told her a year before the wedding this would be the case. I have no problems if we are invited to a wedding without Jack, and would never turn up with him anyway ------------- "> 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 15 July 2007 at 3:39pm
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That is my experience too Sarah, while I understand babies can't always be left. Having a baby cry thru the speeches at the reception, was awful both for the baby and the guests. Some parents just don't get it. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |