Do you have "you" time??
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Topic: Do you have "you" time??
Posted By: My3Sons
Subject: Do you have "you" time??
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 2:24pm
A friend of mine suggested that I put DS into care for a few hours a week so I can have some "me" time before & after baby arrives. I feel almost guilty thinking about it for some silly reason...........the truth is my life revolves around the kids!! I am lucky that I get to be a SAHM, my DH is self employed and works really long hours at the business, unfortunately that means he isnt here to help me out with the kids so 99% of the child rearing is up to me. So time to myself isnt a reality lol!!  I was wondering, do any of you do this just for the purpose of having time to yourself? Should I just suck it up and do it and maybe go get a long overdue haircut or go shopping without kids or maybe even just meet a friend for lunch? Would love some opinions!!! ------------- Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4 
 
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Replies:
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 2:29pm
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This is my me time - an hour or 2 after lunch while Hannah has a sleep. Its not really me time tho as I cant leave the house. I am lucky tho that my mum and MIL both live here so can take Hannah for a few hours while I go do something like get my hair cut. I have thought about taking Han to daycare for one morning a week, but just decided I couldnt do it!
------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 2:31pm
Only me time I get is each night when hubby baths McKayla. I still get called now and then to see how cute she looks in the bath and half the time I do dishes during that me time.  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 2:32pm
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Funny you should post this. Last week I put DD in care for the first time, just for two mornings a week. It was something we had always planned on doing, to give me a bit of 'me time' as well as preparing her for childcare before I go back to work.
I didn't enjoy it at all! I didn't realise how much I loved being a SAHM and after the two mornings I felt like it was such a big waste of money because I didn't feel like I got anything out of it. I get a couple of hours of 'non baby time' during the day when she's asleep, and that works for me so far. |
Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 2:40pm
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I have Abby in daycare for two three hour sessions a week and this is my me time. It took me months to get used to her not being with me, but I love that time now.
It gives me time for myself but also lets me get all of my running around and odd jobs done without having to worry about what missy is up to and without dragging her and the pram everywhere. It has also turned a out that she is a very social wee thing and now asks if she is going every morning and gets excited when I say yes. (about time it took months for her to like it.) She doesn't sleep anymore so this is the only time I get to myself. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: baalamb
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 3:03pm
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My 'me' time is going to work and sitting in a relatively quiet office with no noisy toys!!! Unfortunately, I have to look after a bunch of 'kids' there too that can't think for themselves When I start my new job, I'm putting Ashlee into care, and it has to be a minimum number of hours, so I've had to put her in for more time than I'd planned. Some of that will end up being my 'me' time.
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Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 3:07pm
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I guess you could say my "me time" is at work (4 days a week) but when I am home I'm 100% with Caitlin (except when she's napping) so I don't get any me time when I'm not working. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 3:36pm
i put james in day care at 8 months old he goes for 12 hours a week and i love it and so does he james gets his playing with his friends time and i get my time it relly is up to you some people love it and some people dont it does help that james taechers are relly kool and he loves going though  ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 3:46pm
I wondered about this, maybe I just need to give it a bit of time. I think my girl is a bit less social though, she likes her space and gets funny when there are heaps of people around. I'm also not too keen on one of the carers at her creche, not anything big just don't like her personality more than anything! It's good to see people with daycare/creche that works for them. It is a completely individual thing. |
nuttymama wrote:Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 3:48pm
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I put Rico into a private kindy one morning a week, when he was about 2 yrs 4 mths, so a bit older than your boy. He was very active & loved interacting with other children so I knew he'd get a lot out of it, while I managed to have time to go & do things without him which was more relaxing. I still had a newborn to look after as well though.
I think for the child they really get a lot out of it, but it can make you feel a little uneasy for a while. I don't think I'd put my children in care younger than 2, but that's just me. Having "you" time is great & needed once in a while that's for sure. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 4:06pm
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No "me time" here either. Although my mum offers al the time to have the kids so I can have time to myself, but Im still not at the stage where Im willing to part with Alize (the girls go over to stay tho). When I go back to work that will be my "me time". ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 4:13pm
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I don't. We are planning to homeschool (you could sorta say we do "home preschool" for the moment ) so I can't see much point in putting the girls in care before taking them out to stay home for school - confusing!! But in saying that, my older two girls both sleep after lunch so I do get an hour to myself, except when Krystiana decides to hog it!
What I have done though, is to get involved with a couple of friends and visit them/they visit me etc, and Hannah has sometimes gone to a friend's place by herself or that friend come around here - gives me or the other mum a bit of a break. I've once had her younger child too and next time we are talking about me leaving both my older girls and seeing how that goes (Briona has been clingy lately but I think she will be ok cause of the new toys LOL). It's good for me to have backups like that in place (my MIL and M are not often available) for when I need to go for pg scans or anything like that, and just for a free afternoon, even though I still have 1 or 2 to look after. But it also builds some good friendships for my older DDs which I think is very valuable too. In saying all that though, I didn't leave either of my children (except with their dad) until they were 18mos. Apart from Hannah's recent playdates, I have left them only for births, broken foot, and moving house. PS I love the way you have written this post, it's so open and non-judgmental on anyone!  ------------- |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 5:01pm
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Yeah I'm not too keen on daycare until Jack is older, we go to playgroup and have pleydates so he sees other kids. I would honestly rather keep the money for something else. Even tho Jack is a wee terror hes only going to be this small once so I want to make the most of it. I do plan on sending him to kindy tho once hes older.
We go stay at my parents once a week and they look after him although I am there if he needs me. |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 5:11pm
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I never used to have "me" time until i spoke to a few friends. Now every saturday we are free, me and one of my girlfriends go out for lunch and leave our kids with our dh's. And also on tuesdays and Wednesdays me and another girlfriend to turn about on looking after each others kids, which is fantastic. Plus its free childcare. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 5:26pm
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I must say if I had to put her in daycare to get me time I wont have me time. It will be me freaking out time more likely. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 5:30pm
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Well Char, I think it's a GREAT idea! And because it's for the purpose of you getting a break, if it turns out that you don't like it, you can always just take them out of daycare - it's not like you're stuck with it for the year or anything. And a few hours in daycare provides a great opportunity for kids to socialise and do some serious playing. I don't speak from experience though, I should say. But it's certainly something I'd consider later on. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 8:23pm
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When I moved from Japan to NZ we put Jake into daycare for one day a week. i was heavily pregnant with Taine at the time. Initially it was because I was worried about him socially. He was at care in Japan and LOVED it, so i wanted to keep this interaction. He really enjoyed the daycare and was always happy to go in the morning. Once Taine was born I kept this up and it was fantastic. I could have some one-on-one time with Taine and relax - most of the time I slept if possible.
When we move to Palmerston, i plan to put both boys in care at least once a week. Both attend playcentre here so perhaps we'll just go there, but I am still studying and finding it really hard with everything going on. Not sure if I would consider studying "me time": or not. Lewi and I previously had an agreement for me to have every Thursday morning "off" and I loved it. It did take me three or four weeks to stop buying guilt presents. After that though, just buying a magazine and having a coffee was such a treat. having a day though where you can do all your chores without dragging a child around - takes an hour rather than three - fantastic. I would thoroughly recommend it. |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 8:34pm
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Jake goes for 12 hours a week, which dosen't give me "me time" as such, but does give Char and I time together, as he requires so much of my attention, she tends to get left out. Also, I really need it for my mental health some days. I will be swapping one of those sessions with charlotte though, so I can take him swimming, and that will be our mummy and Jake time. My "me" time tends to be parents centre meetings or on here at night time or when they are asleep during the day. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 8:35pm
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Charlotte started 2 mornings a week when she was 2 1/2 although it was more for her than me. Shes at a private nursery and they start at 2 1/2, she was so ready for it. I originally used that time to go to the gym but when I found out I was pregnant I used it to be sick in peace/rest/relax. It took me ages to get used to not having her around those mornings and to be honest I never usualy did anything constructive with the time apart from doing the groceries! ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 19 July 2007 at 8:43pm
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OK, so I'm not in the same boat as most of you coz I work so am not strictly a SAHM but up until last week I had the gremlins 24-7 with me except the odd escape when I left them with Willie.
I've just got a nanny who comes in 2 days a week, and I don't even use the time she is here to work, I can do that when the kids are sleeping. I use it to get out of the house sans gremlins and just do stuff like go to the post office and the supermarket and for coffee without having to pack up half the house and drag the kids with me. And I am loving the freedom. I am enjoying being home with the gremlins, something I missed out on with Maya as she was in full time care from 5 months, but I also need my "out" time, time to just be on my own away from everything and know that my kids are still safe and well cared for. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 20 July 2007 at 8:53am
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I make sure I have me time... even if it's going to get my eyebrows waxed, or sometimes I'll waddle down to dressmart and window shop... I also make sure I have a big deep bath once in a while, and hubbie, keeps the kids away.
Also I'll pick Nyah up from pre school a little later so I can come home and blob for an hour. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 20 July 2007 at 8:55am
I think the socialising is really important and we have just started going to Play Centre. It was really hard to find anything where they didn't insist she was there at least 3 full days, which I feel is too much for her. I also didn't want a Day Care for 2 reasons #1 I don't NEED a Daycare, she gets fantastic 1-on-1 care with my Mum and #2 I'm sooooo not ready to leave her anywhere on her own 
Will look into it again when she's 2 and might put her into Kindy for a couple of mornings ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 20 July 2007 at 1:29pm
| DF has said that when Peanut arrives he wants me to have Saturday mornings to myself while he looks after bubs. Even while I am still breastfeeding I am apparently meant to have lie ins, read a book or go for a walk at the very least (whilst providing my boob when needed until we move on to expressing). I love him so much for the thought that I dont mind if it never happens. I think he just wants time when "he" is in control, not me. |
Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 20 July 2007 at 2:22pm
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Wow nzpiper, how nice of DF to tell you you need to have sat mornings to yourself!! Lucky thing you. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 20 July 2007 at 2:25pm
He's a keeper. I cant believe how lucky I was to find him. |