Advice needed on two subjects please
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Topic: Advice needed on two subjects please
Posted By: my2angels
Subject: Advice needed on two subjects please
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 8:16am
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I thought rather than posting two seperate threads I will just combine.
My first is baby related. Im starting to think about wether i really want another baby or not. How do i know if im just missing having a baby and sad that my 'baby' is now running all over the house and not so babyish anymore. Funny how this time round im not so much thinking guilt wise like I did when deciding to have a second one, its more that Ive always thought I would have only two children but now im not sure. I dont want to talk hubby into it then get preggie etc.. and then realise that no I only wanted two after all. I think seeing that movie knocked up didnt help! Second thing is dog related. I know ive gone on about my dog heaps and what i should do with him... well he hasnt been in pain so much these days but he is slow and limping with arthritis, takes him a while to lie down etc... but he has started losing control of his bowels. Well for the last almost two weeks every night and sometimes during the day he accidentally poos inside. I know he doesnt like it and is always racing to the door but just doesnt seem to make it in time. This is pretty gross as you can imagine.... so do you think this really means it is time to have him put to sleep? Now we have arthritis and incontenence, but apart from that he is happy 
ETA: Max is not a young dog either, he is 12yrs old and for a newfoundland thats pretty good cos they have a life expectancy of 8-10yrs. I just worry that Im keeping him alive because I dont want to go through it but also I worry that Im rushing putting him down because it would be easier in terms of with the kids and having to clean up after him all the bloody time. He is really good with the kids but because he is sore if they touch his legs he yelps so Im always telling them to leave him alone. He has never bitten anyone but in the back of my mind its always there that it could happen one day. |
Replies:
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 9:08am
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Okay the babything. Seriously I went through it now with deciding on a second one. And we always wanted two and only two. And perhaps a bit later adopt. Can understand how difficult it is. How about just waiting? Tell hubby how you are feeling and see how he feels but then wait. Dont do anything until both you guys feel the same either way.
The dog. How about going and talking to the vet about it. They will know a bit better about his living standard for the future. I love love animals and have my own opinions about when I will do it ect. But that doesnt mean it is the same for everyone else. You know your dog better than anyonne else and will know when it is the right time. Together with the vet that is. Take him for a check up and discuss it. Good luck with your decisions. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 9:10am
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A lot of exposure to babies and pg mums/mums to be might also be encouraging you to think along baby lines too my2angels.
Perhaps make a list (  I'm a list geek) - why you want another baby vs the disadvantages of another baby. Include your plans and goals for the future, and how a baby would either fit in with those, push them back, or put them off completely. Those sorts of things. DH made me do that when I wanted a second dog, in case I just wanted another baby animal instead of actually thinking through another dog.
As for your dog ...  It is unbelievably hard making the decision to have a fur-baby put to sleep. Basically my bar for this is their quality of life. If they are getting quality of life, then perhaps it's not quite time. You'll know, in your heart though when it needs to be done. Is there medication that could help the incontinence?------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: Konagirl
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 9:10am
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Not sure if this will help but I've got a good friend who has two beautiful girls. When the 2nd got to about 2 my friend went through a bit of sort of grieving. She had always just wanted 2 kids and she realised she was sort of done with that time in her life when she was pregnant and then Mum to young kids. I think as a women - certainly for me its true - its something that is so inate for us and once it's over it's sort of sad. Just wondering if that's what's going on for you.
About the dog. Can you keep him closer to the door so he has less distance to go? Is he in pain? I think if he is in constant pain it might be time to let him go. I'm looking at my Jack Russell who I love so much and the thought of her being in constant pain would be sad for me and I'd take her to the vets. Hope something in here was of help. Good luck! ------------- Angel babies Mar '04, Oct '08 and Sep '09. |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 10:11am
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Cant advise on the baby but can sympathise about the dog. My parents are inthe same position with a 14 yr old border terrier. She is leaving "marbles" all over the house now and doesnt know she is doing it. She is on lots of meds but seems happy. I think she is the equivalent of an old person with dementia.
I guess if the dog seems happy and you dont mind cleaning up after him/ her then I would be tempted to make life as comfy as poss for them and make the most of those short days they have left? In saying that, I wouldnt feel guilty if you chose to go the other way with the wee thing. We had to have a very old cat put down as she was incontinent and wouldnot leave anyone alone. she literally ALWAYS had to be sitting on you. It was sad but mum and dad couldnt cope with it anymore. |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 12:08pm
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The decision to have another child is never easy is it? I'm not really sure how to help on this one, we have always wanted a big family and within a month of having a baby I can tell you that there's room in my heart for another baby... sometime. In some ways it's a little sad when a child grows up but I've been told by a lot of slightly older friends that "you just know" when your family is complete. I think sometimes we get an idea in our heads of how many we are going to have but then reality is quite different and 8 or 2 or however many doesn't seem right/enough/small enough now. Ultimately though it's a decision that you and your DH will have to make and discuss. -------------  |