Grandparents & babysitting
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=9372
Printed Date: 31 October 2025 at 2:35pm
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Topic: Grandparents & babysitting
Posted By: FionaS
Subject: Grandparents & babysitting
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 3:20pm
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I wasn't sure what to entitle this post as it's about several things.
When I had Elle I intended to be a fulltime stay at home Mummy. However, my 12mths maternity leave is about to come to an end (that means Elle is almost 1!!!) and my work would like me to take back my old job on a part-time, primarily work from home basis. It is absolutely do-able with about 16 hours of work per week. They would like me to do 8 per week from the office (can be in 2 4 hour blocks if I prefer) and the rest can be done from home. I'd have access to the computer network and could do the rest of the work whenever. Elle sleeps a heap at the moment so I'd do it when she was asleep. I would really like to do this as I think it'd be healthy for me to have a focus outside of Elle. She would go with her grandparents for 4 hours, twice a week. I think she would love it as she loves variety and new experiences. However, I have 2 reservations. Firstly, is it ok to ask the grandparents to look after Elle? I feel rude, like I'm loading her off on them. Or, are they likely to absolutely love the time with her? They say they are happy with it and usually leap at the chance to spend time with her. And, number 2, would Elle be missing out on anything if she was away from me for those 2 4 hour blocks each week? Or would it actually be really good for her? Naturally the $$ would be great as we've been living beyond our means for a couple of months and need to reign things in. However, we can manage without the extra income if we need to so $$ isn't really a consideration. I just want to do the right thing for all of us. If I do work, it'd just be until I have another baby at which point I'll fully resign and stay home 100%. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Replies:
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 3:27pm
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Im in a bit of the same situation at the moment except Im going to have to use childcare instead of grandparents but as hard as it is i think its great. If i could leave them with my mum I would do it in a heartbeat...well after I got over the fact that I have to leave them at all. There is nothing she is going to miss out on being away from you and I think its really important for them to socialise with others and be happy to be away from you for sometime.
Go for it i say |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 3:28pm
| I'd say go for it!!! Not that I have any experience in this matter but it sounds like a perfect win-win-win set up. I am sure Elle will be great with her grandparents and if they are anything like our parents they would be chomping at the bit to have her. |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 3:32pm
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It's weird as I am all for other Mums working but when it comes to me I almost feel guilty! We are so weird sometimes huh! Sometimes my own feelings catch me by surprise. A month or so ago when Elle was grizzling all the time I was quite happy to leave her for a few hours from time to time but I'm really starting to enjoy her and I'm worried I'll miss her. I guess 2, 4 hour blocks is really nothing though. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 3:50pm
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Have a talk to Toni (twoblondies) her mum looks after Caitlin while she is a work and see what her set up is. If you are lucky enough to have grandparents to look after her during the day take it. Both sets of Andrew's and Josh's grandparents still both work fulltime, and my parents are about to run away overseas. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 3:55pm
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talk to the grandparents and see waht they have to say, you will either find that they want to or they dont, and you wont know until you ask.
I know my parents would jump at the chance to look after their grandkids for a few hours a week, and it would be good bonding for them and the kidlets. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 3:57pm
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Yeah go for it! I'm in almost exactly the same situation as I returned to work after a years maternity leave just last week. I'm also working part time for 4 hours a day (was previously full time), and my mum is looking after Alyssa for that time 10am to 2pm and they both love it! She doesn't even miss me!
Plus, I'm finding that 4 hours goes so quickly it's not having too much of an effect on me trying to get back into it. The best part is it's payday this week YAY! |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 4:03pm
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I have worked full time for far too long now and Tyrell is only 1! But I wouldn't use Guilt as a feeling.
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 4:05pm
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I have mentioned it and they seem keen. I know only they can decide if they want to or not but I just wanted to see if others would be happy to ask their parents if their parents were in a position to help. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 4:14pm
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Yes I would ask your parents if they are happy,
I really enjoyed looking after Caitlyn for Kelly. |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 4:16pm
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I am going thru the exact same thing at the moment. Ive just got a great new job but its bitter sweet as I have to get a caregiver for my son as his Nana is still working fulltime. I guess in my situation tho I dont have a choice, I have just got to go back to work to support my family. I say go for it and ask, I would love my Mum to be able to have Alize while I went to work. Pepsi and Toni I am sooo jealous!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 4:16pm
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Friend of mine pays her mum to look after her daughter, as she works fulltime, and may as well pay her mum as any other for childcare. You are lucky to have grandparents available and willing. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 4:17pm
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My MIL doesn't work (well, she does do some voluntary telephone pregnancy counselling work from home) and my FIL is semi-retired and is now just a consultant for his law firm so both are available during the week.
I know they will be happy too but just wanted to ensure I wouldn't be taking advantage of their generousity. I'm just majorly paranoid about ensuring I don't upset / offend / burden anyone. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 4:17pm
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Do it! Hubbies mum had Nyah every Friday from the time she was 9months old. The only reason it stopped was because they went overseas in May for our winter. I don't think she will miss out on anything, by you being away from her for that time period. What she will gain, is a wonderful friendship with her grandparents.
It's a cheaper option than daycare and will have double the benefits. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 4:20pm
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When Micheal was 10 months old I took a supervisors job at Toy world on Friday nights and weekends. My mother looked after him and I worked there for two years, She loved it, and he has an extra special bond with her even now.
2 four hour days with them is not a lot and she will probably feel you have only just left and then are back again. If it works for you I say go for it. From my experience grandparents will only say yes to something if they really want to do it. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 4:21pm
That is just what I wanted to hear  Thank you------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
nuttymama wrote:Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 4:31pm
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Go for it, most gparents like to do that and bond with their grandchildren, and it sounds like your parents are in the ideal situation. If you're having reservations, go ahead and tell your parents and work that it's on a 3 month trial period, then review your options then. Daycare? Quit? Not working for Elle? etc. It sounds like a very ideal job for your situation too. -------------  |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 4:34pm
| yeah got to agree with the bonding thing. my mum and dad had kobe for two days a week when i first went back to work after having him and now they have a close bond, more so than with my sisters kids I think. |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 4:45pm
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The bond thing bothers my Mum as she thinks that if Elle goes to DHs parents once or twice a week, she will prefer them. I think she is a bit jealous :( but she works so isn't in a position to help during the week. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 4:52pm
Then make your mum "chief babysitter at off peak times"  I know what you mean about mums getting a bit jealous though
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 6:29pm
i,d say go for it if the granparents are willling it will be great for bonding i work 6 hours a week in my mums cleaning biss and james stays with his nana and he loves it ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 23 July 2007 at 7:27pm
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I was working one day a week from when Han was about 11 months and she went to my mums for the day. They had a blast and my mum really misses it now. Hannah is really great with my mum and after a few initial probs with going to sleep there, she was fine. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Brenna
Date Posted: 24 July 2007 at 6:06pm
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I've been back at work part time since Brenna was 3 months and we use both nana's (they take the weeks in turns)
I'd say that go for it only if you have a good relationship with the grandparent(s). It will be good for Elle to spend time with them and you'll enjoy the break from 'mum' stuff ------------- My beautiful 2 girls...nearly 4 and 13 months
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Posted By: Carmel
Date Posted: 25 July 2007 at 8:51am
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I work 4 days a week, 2 of those being nights and Piper goes to the inlaws for about 4 hours a night as DH is busy on those nights as well and she loves going there as she gets to spend quality time with them without us being there and they get disapointed if we dont take her.
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Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 25 July 2007 at 11:53am
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Lucy's grandparents (DH"S Parents) live over the back fence, different street though, so she spends a bit of time over there, if they are busy they will say no to looking after them. With them living over the fence is a god-send really, if I have to pop out they are always there.
My parents live 1 hour away and my mum comes into town alot if I have to go for scans etc, so she can look after Lucy. Lucy loves her grandparents to pieces ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: sunnyhoney
Date Posted: 25 July 2007 at 1:06pm
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I agree, if you have a good relationship with the grandparents and they are willing go for it.
I have qualms about leaving baby with my MIL (my parents live out of town), although she is keen as. The reason being I don't completely trust her to follow our rules to do with raising our child. ------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |