people just dont think!
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=9392
Printed Date: 19 June 2025 at 4:58am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: people just dont think!
Posted By: tropics
Subject: people just dont think!
Date Posted: 24 July 2007 at 9:21am
Man! one of my closest friends who knew I had been through a missed miscarrage and D&C last week told me yesterday that she is 4 weeks pregnant  Im am totally over the moon for them as they have been trying for a while and its what she has always wanted, but I really didnt think the timing was that appropraite, not even a week since I found out about the missed miscarrage! so hence last night I was a wreck! picked myself up this morning, and hoping that it will make me stronger!!!! some people just dont think about others emotions, I was putting off telling her I was pregnant when I was because I new it would upset her!
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Replies:
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 24 July 2007 at 9:35am
You are right some ppl just dont think, but im sure she was just so excited at her news, that she just wanted to share. I am sure she didnt mean to upset or hurt you..big big hugs, i do know how hard it is. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 24 July 2007 at 9:42am
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I agree with Kaz, when you find something like that out you go to your best friend first, sometimes it doesn't even click. I felt the same way when I found out the week before our bad news that my little sis was expecting again and quite far along.. then when i had our scan and it wasn't good, i was really angry with her for saying to me that she had had her scan and that she was "devasted" to find out she was having another boy. sounds mean but at the time i thought "you should just darn well be grateful that it's heart was beating and it was healthy!"
Hugs ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 24 July 2007 at 1:22pm
She probably also doesn't have a clue how you're feeling - but we do! Big hugs! -------------  |
Posted By: emmaohara
Date Posted: 24 July 2007 at 1:28pm
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Know how you feel Kye, some people are ultra insenstive, some people just ignore that it happened, its easier on them and they think on you, some people blabber on telling you "its natures way" ( God I must have heard that 7 zillions times..) Just hang in there , it does get easier with time and if its easier at the monment just distance yourself from your friend ( and pregnant bellies in general I found!) until you feel you have healed a bit and are feeling stronger  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: tropics
Date Posted: 24 July 2007 at 8:32pm
thanks girls its nice knowing that there are other people who know what Im going through, I have told her that I need to be selfish and distance myself from her for a while until I feel stronger to deal with it all  I know she has lots of suport around her and feel I have to be selfish at the moment
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 24 July 2007 at 9:21pm
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Maybe she thought it was better to tell you now than you find out later?
I'm sorry to hear it hurt you so much... but hang in there.
P.S. Well done for telling her you need to be selfish... it's very understandable! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 25 July 2007 at 12:08am
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My favourite line was "these things happen for a reason." Oh yeah - what reason? Why my baby? I know that without our angel baby we wouldn't have the gremlins, but that doesn't make it any less sucky! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 25 July 2007 at 9:37am
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I have been the other person in this situation and it is just as hard. I found out I was pergnant with Andrew the day after I found out my sister in England had a M/C. While I was over the moon about being pregnant I didn't stop to even think about how my sister was feeling as I was just too excited. The high of her pregnancy will die down and then she will be able to talk more about what you have been through. Give it time, once I came down from my high I was able to understand more about what my siser had been through (Then I got angry when I found out it was her 3rd M/C and only the 1st she had told my parents and that she had had a termination a few months before that use some protection missy). ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: tropics
Date Posted: 25 July 2007 at 10:05am
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Thanks girls
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 25 July 2007 at 1:13pm
That's not a bad idea (or a bad selfish either)... give yourself some space and some healing time and you'll be ok. ------------- |
Kye wrote: