sad.. vent/whinge/whatever.
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=9642
Printed Date: 26 October 2025 at 1:58pm
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Topic: sad.. vent/whinge/whatever.
Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Subject: sad.. vent/whinge/whatever.
Date Posted: 03 August 2007 at 8:20pm
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I feel really down at the moment. Like i just want to cry.
Ive been trying to get hold of the ex about this bith cert crap and he just wont cooperate. Hes being a real dick. Like not texting/calling/emailing back. He just ignores me and im gettting really frustrated. He told me he would think about it and get back to me. Which i said was stupid cause he knows he wont. And of course he hasnt. My sister has gone to stay at her mates for the weekend and my cousin came round to get ready then left to go out with her bf and other friends and didnt even say goodbye, she barely even talked to me. We used to be best friends and would do everything together. Me and my sister used to do alot together as well. My mates are all far away and busy with their own stuff. Now that im pregnant i feel as though no one wants to be around me or even hang out for one night cause they have better things to do with their weekend like get drunk and go out. I go out of my way to visit people even when im nearly 9 bloody months pregnant and my mum hates me driving alone. But barely anyone does that for me. I feel like i have no friends. No life. Nothing. Ugh i hate myself when im like this! Sorry i just needed to get it out. Now that ive had a good cry about it maybe i can get over it lol. ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Replies:
Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 03 August 2007 at 8:23pm
 ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 03 August 2007 at 8:28pm
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Hugs. It sounds like you are moving into another phase of life but are currently stuck in that in between phase. Hopefully you will meet new people through your bubba who you will have stuff in common with.
I hope you can sort things out with the ex. Sucks that they can stuff you round like this. -------------  
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Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 03 August 2007 at 8:30pm
I'm sorry  I can understand where you are coming from as I was/am a young mum.. it's hard seeing all your friends go out without you, doing what you'd probably still be doing if you weren't pregnant. It must be double as hard not having a partner
It will get better. You will meet mums when you've had your baby and you will have things to chat about - babies hehe  I spent a lot of time with older mums and it did bother me a bit that they had houses, money etc etc.. but not that much, I got over it. Things will get better for you soon ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 03 August 2007 at 8:59pm
It can't be nice having your ex screw you around like that, then to have your friends be "too busy" to spend time with you. I'd say to definitely get in touch with plunket straight after baby's birth & join a "first mums" coffee group or something & you will have LOTS in common with them. I hope you feel better soon hun. Just think you'll be meeting your baby soon & she'll be the most beautiful thing ever & will fill your life with more love & happiness  . ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 03 August 2007 at 9:09pm
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does you plunket have a young or single mums group??? I think like others have said you are moving into a new phase in life and maybe you just need to move with it, as for you ex well he needs to grow up !! And just wait till you have that little poppet in your arms you are so gonna melt  ------------- 
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Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 03 August 2007 at 9:18pm
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Big hugs to you Melln. It is hard, but I too have lost a few friendships since getting pregnant and having Sam even though I am in a completely different situation to you. It's usually not that they don't like you anymore, it's just that your at a different stage of life from them now. I think it's quite normal to be honest.
The other girls are right though, you will meet a whole new group of friends with bubba's as well and you will have your own little bundle of joy to keep you company too
I have found the ladies on this site wonderful and have made some really good friends here as well. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 03 August 2007 at 9:23pm
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Thanks guys. I feel a bit better after that.
Oh i know i cant wait till bubs is here. Most of the time its all i can think about. Time is going way to slow i just want her with me now lol. And in my post, i didnt mean that i regret having her or anything! Just so you know. I mean it could have sounded like i felt that way. Id be 10x worse if id have gone through with the abortion. I just feel as though im missing out sometimes ya know. And not having a partner going through all this sometimes gets a bit much. Especially when her father is a stupid little bastard who acts like a 5 year old. Some people (ie friends etc) just dont understand what im going through. I dont blame them though, they have their own problems i guess. I just wish my mum were here!  ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 03 August 2007 at 9:28pm
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Aww
I felt the same when i was pregnant and now I'm not friends with any of them. I did join a young mums group and have made really good friends from there. |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 04 August 2007 at 8:51am
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I hate to tell ya but the identity crises just get worse one you have babe! But on the upside, you have your own little best friend who is going to love you for the rest of your life.
And like Kat said, you'll find some other young (minded not necessarily aged) mothers who you'll have things in common with. And maybe some of your mates will come around once babe is here and see that she is quite fun to be around. Anddddd finally, when your babe is about 3 you'll start to regain some of your independence! And it is FANTASTIC! |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 04 August 2007 at 9:34am
 ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 04 August 2007 at 11:09am
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Aw Mel, at no time in yur post did you sound like you were regretting having her! You just sounded really sad :( I hope you meet lots of nice new people soon. Did you do antenatal classes at all? We have got a cofffee group out of ours. -------------
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Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 04 August 2007 at 12:25pm
Can you please tell that to Ella? I don't think she gets that part 
Just kidding.. sorta  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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nikkiwhyte wrote:Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 04 August 2007 at 1:11pm
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Hi Melln. That's the exact reason I joined OhBaby. I just had no friends with young children: they were either older friends with nearly grown-up kids, or they were single, flirty, and their weekends were for boozing and movie-going instead of catching up on sleep! It does get easier, and sometimes the last lot of pg hormones don't help either.
I found that I had to work hard to find friends. Get involved at my church, go to a music group (even though your girl probably won't care for the dancing etc until she's 1, it's still great fun and lots of little babies go), invite friends over for an hour or so, even if I don't know them. Those kind of things. And I'm finally feeling great! And I think I'm better off with this set of friends anyway. I'm still in contact with my 'old set' - like the girls I used to work with etc, but we're in such a different stage of life and I have heaps more in common with my 'new friends'. I found it particularly tough at first because I am by nature shy in different circumstances, but it has definitely paid off. And now 3 1/2 years later people are asking me for advice  Sometimes I don't realise how far I've come LOL-------------  |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 04 August 2007 at 1:11pm
I agree, btw, you don't sound regretful at all! You've made some very hard decisions but you just wait for a couple of months and she'll be smiling at you already ------------- |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 04 August 2007 at 1:25pm
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I can relate, I was 22 when I had Conor and as soon as it got out that I was having a baby, I lost so many of my friends, mainly I think because I wasn't interested in doing what they wanted to do.. go out and get drunk. I spent alot of time on my own, even moved into a little 2brm flat on my own, and spent probably the first 9months of his life, hanging out with my son and my parents and sister. Then I moved into a bigger house, found someone who was willing to live with a nearly one year old, and through her I made new friends and started having a life. It took awhile, but in the end I didn't miss my old life or friends.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is yes you may have a few lonely months to start off with. Like Nikki said, you are going to have a new best friend in a few weeks, and all the other stuff that's been going on will be forgotten about. As for the father, if he doesn't want to be on the birth cert, well I think I'd just leave him alone for awhile, it's stressing you out, and you don't need it right now. He may change his mind once she arrives... ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 04 August 2007 at 1:38pm
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Thanks for the kind words and advice guys It really does help.
Im very shy and i get really frustrated with myself cause i find it hard making new friends. Like everyones basically said i need to put myself out there and meet new people. I did go to an ante natal class but things came up and only ended up going to one of them. oops!  And also its in Hams and im now in Auckland lol.
My friends are good in some ways. Im not saying they are horrible and never speak to me. I get the odd text and bebo message lol, and even a couple of them are pregnant or have kids! Its just that cause they are in Hamilton, Tauranga, all over the place, ive got to make the effort cause they wont. ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 04 August 2007 at 1:48pm
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Though I have a few friends now who have had babies none of them are here in Hamilton. I have a few old school mates here who are studying and living out the good old students days of going out every weekend. I'm 22, was 21 when I fell pregnant with Kahtrell, and I've gotten over the whole clubbing scene (that happens when you spend 2 years "studying" in Dunedin lol) so they too are in a different phase of their lives.
For the first few months with my son I was really quite lonely, I have a partner but at that time it really felt like I was a single parent. We were staying with his parents at the time (still are *roll my eyes) and yet all I wanted to do was stay in the bedroom. Eventually I got up the courage to join a coffee group, I felt weird at first as the mothers were a little older, but its really great to get together with other mums and be sociable once again. We've also just started at Mainly music, where again I seem to be the youngest. But its great to get outta the house!. You'll find new friends who are understanding and can relate to you. Maybe some of us Hamilton mums can start a coffee group or something. We're all here for each other, so never feel like you have no friends to talk to, you'll always find a listening ear on here
As for your baby's father, he needs to grow some balls!. ------------- 
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Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 04 August 2007 at 1:50pm
Oops never mind I see your in Auckland now lol. Plenty of Ohbaby mums up there to look after you  -------------
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 04 August 2007 at 2:04pm
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Melln I am really shy as well. Promise you once that baby is in your arms some of that will go out the window. And I did for once think while reading your post that you regret having her at all.
And if you really feel lonely give me a private message and I can make a plan to come and visit you or if you need to get out you can come to our place anytime. You can then see what an active toddler does during the day and why the house never ever looks clean. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 04 August 2007 at 2:25pm
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What part of Aklnd are you in Mell? There are heaps of members up here, maybe someone near you? Easier to hang out with someone you have already 'met' online sometimes :) -------------
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 04 August 2007 at 3:44pm
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I didn't realise you were in Auckland either, I agree with Miss, maybe you could catch up with some of us?? I'd be happy to meet for coffee or a Hot Chocolate if you like?? Both being Sept mums too we might even find we are in the hosp at the same time ! PM if you want, I'll be free from work from the 17th. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3)
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Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 04 August 2007 at 8:55pm
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Well for now Im at my grandparents in Mt Wellington (and will be probably till a couple weeks after bubs is here)
But after that ill be in Port Waikato. Fun ha ha not!
Thanks that sounds great. Im pretty slack at the moment. Havnt really felt like doing much lately lol. ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 04 August 2007 at 9:51pm
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Go ahead, meet all the people you can before bubs comes along! ------------- |
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 05 August 2007 at 6:42pm
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Mell, I am in Mt Wellington and I would love to catch up with you before you end up in the middle of nowhere! Let me know if you want to meet up - we could hang out at Sylvi Park, or you could come to my house if you want. (Please don't think I will be offended if you don't want to either! I know it is hard to meet people.) I bet Mel would join us too if she is free as she lives in the general area as well! -------------
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Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 05 August 2007 at 7:58pm
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Oh really? That would be awesome.
Im really shy lol, that would be the only reason why i would back out hehe. Im like a 5 min walk to Sylvia park ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 05 August 2007 at 9:09pm
| Miss if you ever want a babysitter for your goergous Lily pm me I am i Howick not too far from Mt Wellington |
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 08 August 2007 at 6:05pm
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Mel - would you like to catch up at Sylvia Park? I would love to meet you if you feel up to it! You can Pm me if you want - whatever suits you :) -------------
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