Need to have a cry :(
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=9709
Printed Date: 09 April 2026 at 8:34am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Need to have a cry :(
Posted By: busymum
Subject: Need to have a cry :(
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 9:57am
My Granny passed away suddenly last Friday and the funeral is tomorrow. I'm really having a hard time coming to terms with it all. She was reasonably fit and still in her own home - I just didn't think it would happen yet. My grief is coming in waves and sometimes I'm fine but then other times I just feel a bit overwhelmed, and that's generally followed by me getting kinda distracted and the kids mucking around and then I snap at them 
Today I'm trying to make sure the dishes and washing are up to date (Only one more load to do of each plus heaps of folding) and I thought it would help for tomorrow if I could half-pack. (We leave by 11am tomorrow so still a lot of time but I don't like leaving everything to the last minute if I can help it.) But it's a big week and this afternoon I'm meeting with my MIL and SIL to discuss FIL's 50th birthday celebrations on Saturday night (it's a surprise party) and on Friday afternoon/evening two of his sisters are coming to stay at our place until Sunday. (They are in Auck.) One of them is a little bit crazy but the other is a minister's wife so hopefully she will help lol. (We are the only ones of their family with room to put them up - even floor space - but we've said we can only do two days and they are going to stay at Backpacker's for the Sunday night.) My granny is the second oldest in the family. She's survived by an older brother and a younger brother, whom I've met but don't know well since one lives in Auckland (I've only been to Auck three times) and one in Canada. One of my great-aunts (by marriage) sent through an email the other day with a bit of tribute, I guess it will probably be read at the funeral since they are too old to travel down (both my great-uncles are in rest homes as of the last 2 years). She put down some things that I didn't even know about my granny, like because she was born with a hole in her heart she wasn't actually supposed to have children (she had 4, but one was my dad's twin sister who died in her first week, they were 3lb prem). And now she has 16 grandchildren and 5 great-grandchildren  Also her mum was anti-operations and didn't want Granny to have heart surgery but after she died the doctors managed to convince Granny (who was then 40 I think) to undergo the operation, which she did with success but then on the afternoon she got back from that her husband died. I didn't know that either.
Granny was our big link with the family. She would forward us updates from the Auckland/Canada families and even between the Palmy/Waikanae cousins when we left home and started families/got married. She housed the family christening gown and in so doing, made it to all of the grandchildren's dedication ceremonies. We could ask her anything about her parents and her husband (all of whom died well before we were born) and I really felt that she linked us with them somehow. Now she's gone and there will be a big family gathering tomorrow, which I'm desperately trying to prepare for (food, clothes, all the baby/child type stuff that you NEED even when you go away for a single day). And right now I'm just feeling so very 'low' about it all. Tomorrow's not that far away and I think that's why it has hit me again today (yesterday I was fine - go figure  ).
Thanks everyone, just needed to get that load off and cry a bit. -------------  |
Replies:
Posted By: becsscolly
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 10:04am
|
Hugs! ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
|
Posted By: Gwen_
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 10:08am
I am so sorry about your Grandma, Is there any way you could just go outside and have amoment to your self or can be alone to gather you thought or reflect? xxx If you ever need to talk you know where I am ! ------------- We're in America for 3 months with Mummy and Daddy! http://lilypie.com">  
|
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 10:14am
|
Hugs to you.
Your Granny sounds like an amazing woman, and while there will be sadness, I can see her funeral being a celebration of an amazing life, and an inspiration to you and your generation of what one woman can achieve. I could say its all part of the grieving process, and very normal. But that doesn't make it any easier don't be too hard on yourself. Give your girls extra cuddles. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Faraway
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 10:20am
|
to you and your family today. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 10:22am
Gwen there's always the washing line - my frequent visiting place  But have you seen the weather in Palmy today! It's wet and freezing!------------- |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 10:27am
|
BIG BIG Hugs Teresa....
|
Posted By: Gwen_
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 10:30am
*looks out the window* hmm good point! ------------- We're in America for 3 months with Mummy and Daddy! http://lilypie.com">
|
busymum wrote:Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 10:30am
| Sorry to hear that busymum but even though it will be sad you will probably find lots to smile about and be proud of. I remember when my Nana died I was really upset at her funeral but afterwards I got to meet all her extended family who are fantastic (lost one, gained half adozen) and we all sat around and compared stories of her shocking driving (we had all been sworn to secrecy by her). We all ended up laughing and now I smile and laugh when I think of her. |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 10:31am
|
Thinking of you, Teresa. My nana passed away in 2000 so I understand the mess of emotions you are feeling. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 11:02am
awww teresa hun big hugs to you , I hope that you get through today and have the strength to get through tomorrow, My grandad passed away 3 years ago and I miss him like crazy if lived in Levin and I would make sure I went and saw him at least once a fornight and when Braedon was born I made the trip weekly he was so proud of him it was just nice to see, I am having a cry with you.  ------------- 
|
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 11:15am
| sorry to hear bout your grandmother. With everything going on make sure you make some time for yourself or you will go crazy |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 11:41am
|
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 11:58am
|
Teresa sorry to hear about your Granny, My great aunty died a few months agoa dn she was the one that kept the family together now it's like who is going to do it. Def try to get some time to yourself even if it is only a few minutes alone in the shower. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 12:22pm
|
Big hugs Teresa, I hope getting it all out was cathartic. Best of luck with the funeral and with the impending onslaught of relatives. Try not to worry too much, the next few days will probably pass in a blur. And make sure that Chovynz is looking after you! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 12:30pm
|
Oh, Teresa ... it's so hard and the thing is with the people we love, we never stop missing them, not really, and grief is always there - sometimes it's a heavy burden, and sometimes it's not so bad.
My Mum's parents died when I was 9 and 15 respectively, and I still, all these years later, cry when I think of them - that they've missed out on my adulthood, and that I've missed out on knowing them as people ... and just missing them in general. It's such an ache. I didn't really know my Grandma on my Dad's side, but was just getting to know my Grandpa when he died a few years ago now and it's still so hard to think of him
Most of us understand how hard it is to lose a family member, especially a close one, and we're all here for you ... and don't ever worry about how the grief hits you - the very nature of grief is that it's a bit unpredictable (sp?). Thinking of you xoxo ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 12:30pm
|
oh teresa i'm so sorry! ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 1:19pm
| Big hugs Theresa |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 1:34pm
| im so sorry for your loss teresa, my grandma passed away in march and i still miss her so much, my thoughts are with you xx |
Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 1:59pm
|
to you and your family Theresa. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 2:30pm
|
------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 2:56pm
|
Aw, Teresa - big to you in your grief. I'm grandparent-less now and I know it's a deep type of loss, losing a grandy - they've been there as long as you've ever known. Take care, and I hope having family come to stay works out well for you, rather than being stressful. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: Spudling
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 3:26pm
|
busymum, wishing you all the strenght you need to help you through. Grannys are so important and even though they are old and we all know that they are going to go before us, it still is a massive kick in the guts when they die.
You are always so supportive, friendly and helpful on this forum, please take a break of looking after everyone else and put yourself first this next few days. ------------- http://tickers.families.com"> 
http://tickers.families.com"> 
|
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 5:10pm
|
aww hunny i,m so sorry for your loss big hugs my gran died this year aswell bigt big hugs ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 07 August 2007 at 6:08pm
|
Big hugs Teresa! You and family are in my prayers! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |