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Termination for medical reasons

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LP pka Rainyday View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LP pka Rainyday Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 May 2016 at 3:02pm
Read a good article about living normally along side your grief. You don't have to give up one for the other. I liked that sentiment.
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babycrazy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote babycrazy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 May 2016 at 3:22pm
Ah stink about the land prices. I just can't believe how ridiculous it all is these days. We're very lucky to own our home and have 5 acres to go with it, we do live in the whops though so makes it a bit more affordable.

Random I have one those moments this morning - missing Paige, missing being pregnant just like you. Ugh it's dumb isn't it. And then I've just wanted hibernate in the house today and blimming people keep ringing wanting my time for dumb stuff to do with our local hall committee (of which I am chairperson). And being a small community and my neighbours and friends they don't just 'call in' get what they need and go. Nope it's an hour of conversation lol. It's a cool I have such lovely people to live near, just not my headspace today. It did cement my decision to come off the committee once the time for elections comes though. Just the thought of having to do anything relating to it actually winds me up at the moment and it's not worth the stress - I can't even say why it winds me up.

Anywho didn't mean to head into a little rant - whoops and totally boring to anyone who doesn't know who or what I'm even on about!

I read an article on Stuff today written by a lady who lost her daughter in a car accident down South a couple years ago. She talked about making treasured memories and traditions she has which help her through her grief. Basically what she was saying was that there shouldn't be a timeline on grief nor should you be expected to just stop remember or talking about your lost loved one. And that when you do talk about it people shouldn't have to feel sad for you or think that your sad because sometimes remembering the happy memories can be a good thing for you. If that makes sense. It made me feel better about talking about Paige as sometimes I kind of don't because I think that people might feel uncomfortable when actually who cares if they do! I don't expect people to not discuss their babies or grandchildren around me just because I lost a baby so they shouldn't expect me to not talk about my experience.

Getting off my soap box now lol.
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LP pka Rainyday View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LP pka Rainyday Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 May 2016 at 6:27pm
I think we read the same article!

I understand what you mean about the chairperson business especially in a small community. I'm on the BOT for my sons daycare that doesn't even involve a lot of work or stress but it's another thing to have to think about. Sounds like you would be better off without the stress especially as you go into the next round of IVF.
Sorry to hear you had a wobbly moment too..they seem to catch you off guard.

We've decided first step is to sell and we would rent in between finding a section and building exciting & scary times.

Stumbled upon some nice fake flowers today. I'd been conscious that the flowers on Micah's grave will be looking very sad by now. So will give her a tidy up this week.
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babycrazy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote babycrazy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 May 2016 at 6:35pm
Well done on finding nice fake flowers - they're sometimes hard to come by! I bet it will brighten up Micah's resting place just nicely.

Funny it sounds like we did read the same article. Was a good one actually.

Yes stress is totally off the cards when it comes to this next ivf. I'll have to keep reminding myself to not over commit to things during it too.

Exciting times ahead selling your house but also pretty full on. I can imagine finding a nice rental would be hard?

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LP pka Rainyday View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LP pka Rainyday Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 2016 at 9:03am
Very full on! Leaving most of it to DH & putting my 2 cents in here and there. Rental should be ok. There's tonnes around just that I'll be a bit fussy and competition is pretty fierce. Also we have a cat!!

Can't believe it's only three weeks today
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote babycrazy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 2016 at 10:33am
Ha I'd leave most of it to my DH too. That kind of thing stresses me out.

Wow only three weeks. Feels a bit longer. Gosh be easy on yourself hun because it is only that long.

I still sit sometimes and marvel that I've even been through that whole experience. I can't believe I still manage to function half the time. As I always say it's almost too much to comprehend.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote antheawren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 2016 at 10:54am
Thinking of you today rd - 3 weeks - feels like a lot longer doesn't it?


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LP pka Rainyday View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LP pka Rainyday Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 2016 at 11:32am
Hell yes it feels like longer. At this time 3 weeks ago I was in the final stages of labour and only 10 mins away from meeting Micah. It really is hard to comprehend sometimes. Almost surreal. It's when reality hits that it's the hardest.

At gym this morning I was hoping someone would say something to me. Anything. We don't really get much chance to chat cos all the kids go nuts so it's full on supervising. I just felt a desperate need to talk out loud about Micah.
Funny How the mind works sometimes.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote babycrazy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 2016 at 6:29pm
I went through the same thing probably about the same point after having Paige. It's that point where for everyone else life has gone on and for you you've started back into some kind of regular routine again yet you think of her every day. I'd had people checking in almost daily etc and then all of a sudden it was like nothing. As a result there was a patch where I struggle to speak her name out loud, now though I'll talk quite easily about her.
Say her name out loud hun, she's your girl and you're allowed to! xx
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😘 BC
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote antheawren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 2016 at 9:01pm
I find any excuse I can to drop Meika's name into a conversation - if people ask how many children I have I always include Meika in it and say she was stillborn! I also find myself lucky as they did a newspaper article on me and Meika last year so I get people who come up and say they read the article - I now make sure people remember!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote babycrazy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 May 2016 at 4:10pm
Sooo am I mad?
I just booked in with the Fertility specialist - managed to get in next Friday believe it or not.
Is it too soon? I mean I feel ok 90% of the time. It'll be a couple months before I get going with IVF though so I guess that'll be ok.
The practical side of me wants to do it soon as it's not so full on at work compared to later in the year, plus DH isn't as busy as well. And I really just want to know my fate.....will I get pregnant and finally get my baby or am I destined to be the mother of one lost child? I don't want to start another year with that hanging over my head.

Anywho how are you doing RD and everyone else who's popped in here. Hopefully ok xx
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GEONC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 May 2016 at 4:24pm
I think if you've made an appointment you are ready. Yes so much trepidation I can imagine. Healing post Paige will be ongoing. Totally different but I felt trying to get pregnant and control over that after previously not having choice and control was very empowering. Protected my heart until I felt that baby was actually going to be here in our family, I think that's kinda what happens after loss! Eep excited for you!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LP pka Rainyday Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 May 2016 at 5:34pm
Awesome BC you've got a.plan in place
Very exciting!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote babycrazy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 June 2016 at 7:49am
Thanks girls.

Geo I guess you're right because I have kind of only have the guts to call this week so suppose that means I'm ready. Bit scared at the same time though which is understandable. I have to keep reminding myself that doing IVF again does not necessarily mean a baby on board. And yes it is about control too. At least if I'm being proactive I've got something other than what feels like an empty future to focus on. If it doesn't work out then at least I can draw a line in the sand and refocus my life. Right now just feels like I live in limbo (which I've said a million times before lol).
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GEONC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 June 2016 at 8:40am
You now sound absolutely certain! No more limbo. Make plans and try!
Will of course be cheering you on!!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kiwigirl75 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 June 2016 at 9:30am
Babaycrazy, good on you for making the appointment. Only you can know when you are ready. All the best for Friday!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LP pka Rainyday Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 June 2016 at 6:21pm
You've got a large squad cheering you on BC!! You've made the first step. One which you probably thought would be near impossible to make only a short time ago.

Went to Micah's plot during lunch time to clean her up. There were still fresh flowers that we're looking very dire so replaced those with fakes. Brightened it up a bit. She's sprouting some fresh grass and there was a lady bug on her solar light which I instantly said hello to when I saw it. I always think of babies when I see lady bugs.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote babycrazy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 June 2016 at 8:05am
Thanks guys for the reassurance.

RD bet it made you feel good sprucing up Micah's plot or maybe not. Not really sure which it would be. Anywho I hope you're doing ok hun.
I know for me I just have to make peace with it instead of fighting it and feeling rotten all the time. We display Paige's memory box in the lounge with a picture of her lovely foot on the front and I'll often sit down and take a look through the things inside.

Am pushing forward with this IVF thing despite having an interesting conversation with DH last night. I think he's a bit conflicted about it all. He did say I should do what makes me happy although I can tell he's worried about going through that all again and something else going wrong, mainly about how it will affect me. I just straight out said I'm not planning to keep doing it forever but I have to try one more time then make peace with it and move on. He could see my point of view. Think he also just wishes we didn't have to spend more money on it and told me to tell the specialist to give it to us for free lol. I know of people who've been offered free treatment after a loss like that but I'd feel a bit cheeky to ask outright. And I don't feel entitled to having free treatment just because I was unlucky to lose a baby. It's our choice to proceed with trying again so we have to take the consequences financially.

Anywho hugs and kissed I'd better do some work.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote babycrazy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 June 2016 at 3:37pm
Oh gosh - so I almost bawled in assembly at school today. We've got this kid who's about 11. Expelled from all his other schools, comes from an awful home life - no food sometimes, parents on god knows what drugs, drinking etc, dad in jail. My boss showed me some things he'd posted on his dad's Facebook page and it broke my heart.
It's just not fricking fair! Not fair that a) Me, a perfectly good citizen who loves children, had to lose her baby and b) that this poor kid has to live like that!
GAH!!! Sucky. Not often a kid will affect me like that but just makes me more determined than ever to become a foster mum one day.

Sorry just had to get that off my chest.
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