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Forum LockedThinking about going back on the meds..

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Bumble View Drop Down
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    Posted: 11 May 2007 at 11:33am
The last few weeks have been a bit hard..

Feels like "return of the irrational mummy"....

I have just been exceptionally irrational with stupid little things, like "Oh, DH's mum is not going to get her mothers day card before the day... Well if she can't handle that then what does that say about her... yada yada yada.."
And "Well, if SIL is going back overseas, are we supposed to store all her stuff. Where is it supposed to go?? Up my B**T??? Cant fit much more up there!!!"
My all time favourite.. the kitchen... Spent the weekend cleaning and it looked great! then DH comes along and does the dishes, which I appreciate, but then leaves all of the leftover food scraps in the sink... eeewwwww!!! just after it was shining with clean brilliance as well!!! Had a go at him to. yay.

Have been giving Ethan a lot of "I'm on the F****n phone!!! Are you stupid??!!!!"

Feel like I need to get away from it all... Just cant seem to shake this Dr Jeckyll and Mr Hyde thing.. which is generally an indication that I need to go on meds again....
Just dont know what to do..

And feeling like this really makes me want to BD..of course
formerly known as "Bee"

Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy!
Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote my2angels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2007 at 3:11pm
I would normally say go ahead and start taking the meds again butive been that mummy lately too so know how you feel kind of. Im just yelling and going off at the drop of the hat. Maybe I should be starting my meds again too. Really didnt want to but its getting a bit ridiculous and i soooo dont want to be this type of mum.
what to do aye?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Maya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2007 at 7:06pm
Eeeek, I'm on meds and I'm still like that . I just have a very short fuse and get frustrated easily, and being with the gremlins 24-7 is starting to drive me a bit barmy.

Go with what your instincts are telling you Bee (and Robyn). I know going on meds is a big step, and I fought it myself for a while, but if you know that it's going to help you then that's got to be a good thing.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bumble Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2007 at 9:06pm
I think that I will bite the bullet and go to the doctor on Tuesday and find something that will be ok to be on while ttc.... I do have some Aropax here that is "leftover" from when I cam off them in October last year. But am hesitant to start them just incase the doc wants to put me on something different..
Think I am stressing too much about this business that I am going to start and the usual things (Clean house, clean kid, clean me....cooking, oh everything!!)

Anyhoo...I'm actually not concerned if the deal is that I need to be on these things for the rest of my life. I figure, if it is going to make me a lot more stable, then sign me up!!!
formerly known as "Bee"

Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy!
Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 May 2007 at 9:13am
do want you feel you have to to keep your sanity ... but wanted to share a "moment" i had to help make yours a bit better. i went to get the new jar of peanut butter out of the cupboard, was in the top so was standing on a chair, got it down to find it was crunchy and i wanted smooth so i burst into tears and get mega upset and then found the nutellas was crunchy too and that just topped it off. i was a crazy lady standing on a chair in the kitchen crying i wanted smooth, whats with all this crunchy... and i dont even eat nutella.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bumble Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 May 2007 at 7:16pm
So, I have spent the day trying to breathe each time I feel like I am getting wound up. Seems to be working. Have only gone off at Ethan once today...

Tried (!!!!) to talk to DH last night about how I was feeling etc. I got the whole "No, you are fine, why do you need to go back on them, stop being so silly" attitude.. GRRRRRR men! I know that if everything falls down into a heap, I'll then get the "why didn't you tell me earlier how you were feeling" attitude!!!
It's like he and his job etc are WAy more important than what is happening here. He sees me as being a great mum and great at keeping the house going, but as much as I try to get across to him, he can't see what is going on inside my head! I try to explain that I feel that things are starting to slide, but he seems to gloss over them.

and then he asks for sex.....

so after not listening to me while I pour my heart out and try to get across how afraid I am that I my be backsliding, he is like "aren't you ovulating by now, shouldn't we be having sex.."   

whoo hoo.....
formerly known as "Bee"

Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy!
Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 May 2007 at 9:11pm

My 2 cents worth from my experience.

I couldn't control what I was feeling and thinking. So inturn my outbursts were uncontrolled.
I found with the meds they took that edge off and I was able to control the tears, I got sleep so no more sleep deprivation (SP?) I was able to cope more with Tyrell crying...it didn't set of my tears etc etc

For me if I was were you are at, check with your GP what meds you can take that wont effect your TTC. Maybe even talking to your gp might just help.
Are you under MMH? They have services that can help with dealing with the different feelings that we have.

 

 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kezplanet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2007 at 12:12am
I sarted on meds just over a month ago for the 1st time & that was a big step so can only imagine that getting off & the thought of going back on would/could be soul destroying!! I had taken myself off a few days ago because I was always tired, was still loosing it with the girls but after a couple of days without the tiredness lifted & I could notice that thing were better than a couple of months ago, went to drs again & got meds changed, also made sure it is safe to take while ttc/preg. Dr very good explained side effects, when they may come in, ways to get thru some of the side effects. Also said that when preg quantity may have to be increased because of hormone changes, also after baby born (only if up to 4+ tabs a day) may have to have a bit of help 'coming off drugs' but as she put it 'far more important to have them & be well than be unwell & something go wrong!"
Also for the sake of a few days if you going to dr on tuesday, maybe don't start something incase as you said they may want to change - I have to be off my last lot for 7 days before starting new ones
Good luck for the next while & someone said to me yesterday LOOKING AFTER YOURSELF IS LOOKING AFTER YOUR FAMILY
As for DH, maybe try writing him a note (long indepth letter?) letting him know what is going on & that at the moment he is only seeing the surface but the erosion is about to hit the top & you want help before that hits - please!
Kerryn, Mum to
Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Maya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2007 at 7:26pm
LMAO Bee - I had the exact same situation here on Tues, but we're not TTC so he has no excuse! I had asked him to move out on Mon night, woke him up about 1am on Tues morning coz I couldn't sleep and made him talk things thru and then he thinks that just coz he's talked to me he was going to get lucky. I could almost SEE him thinking "I wonder how long I have to talk to her for before I can..." Men!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bumble Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2007 at 9:00pm
Amy - what is MMH?? As you can tell by my question, have no idea what it is.

When I originally went to the doc, I was just put on meds. DH did ask about counselling etc, but he was kinda "put in his place" as in the doc was like she doesn't need that... I have basically battled it all on my own... Last Oct I felt like the meds weren't working anymore so I went to see a different doc. He wanted to put me on a different anti-d so I had to do a FAST withdrawal from Aropax (went from 2 tabs a day to nothing in a month - I dont reccomend it to anyone....) After I came off them, he wanted me to wait a week then see him again to get the new meds. never went back...

Emma - Men are so typical sometimes.... Its like they think that they have paid attention for all of 5 minutes, so "shwing!!!" DH cracks me up sometimes with his "so can we have sex now...." attitude....
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Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy!
Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2007 at 9:16pm

MMH is Maternal Mental Health.

For me they were fantastic. I was put on a course with other mums going through the same thing. We used to meet once a week and go through dealing with day to day situations...PND is more than just a depression.

I was under a physcartrist (so can 't SP?) who I saw after the course and was re assesed. I was offered more servies from there as well.
I just think they are there for a purpose so we should use them. Maybe ask your gp, I am not sure where you are based but the AKL team are great.

There is also help from Barnodes from as little to as much as you may need.

 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bumble Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2007 at 4:42pm
Man, I am learning more from you guys than I did at the useless old doctors!!! I wish that I had been referred to MMH... Anyhoo. Feelin OK today. Have been working on some new products. Hope to open my webpage/store soon.... (stay tuned!!!)
DH is away in tauranga tonight, so just me and the two boys... (One of which is curled up on my lap purring his little head off...I think he thinks if he's cute he'll get more food.....the cat that is! ) Am going to try to get to bed early tonight... hopefully I will be able to sleep. I generally can't sleep when DH is away... (stupid huh, and I have the whole bed to myself..sort of. That is if the cat doesnt claim most of it!!!) I also have too many things running around in my head.... Just excited about this business venture i guess.

I am not going to go to the docs tomorrow. I'll wait and see how things pan out... Maybe I am just uptight about TTC and the business stuff...We shall see..Could be famous last words! I'll keep ya posted!
formerly known as "Bee"

Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy!
Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mumoftwo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 May 2007 at 7:27pm
Wow ive found people going through what i am I had such a tough time after i had my second baby and my partner would just say snap out of it its all in your head but i sincerly coudnt cope so talked to my plunket nurse about how i felt and went on flouxitine (happy pills) and i just felt soooo much better after a few weeks thought ok im feeling normal again so stopped taking them then all hell broke loose and so now am back on them i just wonder if im going to completly reliy on pills i just want to get better but when where and how Shes not even a bad baby i think i must be a bad mum
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 May 2007 at 8:55pm

Bee how did you get on at the Dr's?

Mum of two you are not a bad mum. You are great in knowing that you need help!
Happy pills are there for a reason, if you are on them for 1 month or 1 year so be it, they are there to help us get through the rough times that we just can't do on our own! PND is not something we can cope with on our own.

i didn't have family support but had MMH who were my support, I don't know where I would be without them.
There are a lot more networks than we think, it just pays to ask the GP & Plunket & PAFT

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bumble Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 May 2007 at 9:35pm
I actually haven't been to the drs. Am goign to give it another week or two to see how I go Have taken up writing in my diary again (I find it useful for venting and working thru things)

I am actually feeling a little postive at the moment... Tho it is probably just because I am off to Melbourne tomorrow, with out Ethan. Just me... ahhhh It will be a nice break!

mumoftwo - I was on Aropax for three years. I still find each day a challenge and I only have one bubs!!! You are not a bad mum at all. The pills are there to help balance you out. I'm sure that your two babies would like a happy, balanced mum. Dont ever feel ashamed that you take them. There are soooo many people out there who are on Anti-d's. I have reached the point where I am really upfront about my illness. If people want to judge me and be all negative, then that is their loss in not knowing the real me. We are all here to help you! Where abouts in NZ are you located?
formerly known as "Bee"

Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy!
Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones!
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