Do you feel like ur DH’s mother?
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Topic: Do you feel like ur DH’s mother?
Posted By: kebakat
Subject: Do you feel like ur DH’s mother?
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 9:53am
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*sorry this is a bit ranty*
Do you ever feel like your DH's mother? I do all the washing in the house (semi fair enough) but what really annoys me is when I do a load every day that is 3/4 full and then DH will dump a whole pile of clothes to be washed in the laundry on the weekend. Grrrrrrr! I told him I won't go looking around the house for his dirty washing. I'm not his maid but it's really pissed me off that he does this every weekend, if he put the clothes there each day then I wouldn't have an extra load to do. And he will never think to put the washing on himself. He cleaned the kitchen this morning. But the rest of the house is a mess and will he clean that, no he won't. If I start cleaning then he might help but I'm sick of doing 80% of it and he will only sometimes do a little and only if I'm doing it. I'll clean the house mid week by myself and when he gets home he walks in with his shoes on which brings bits of dirt and crap in the house, then leaves them lying around, I do most of Daniels night time routine, he will dry him and leave me to it. Then after dinner leave his plate sitting on the couch or the floor (wtf?!)a nd I end up picking it up in the morning otherwise Daniel plays with it and makes a mess with it. I don't think I've ever seen him mop.. vaccum maybe 5 times since Daniel has been born. Why can't men just get off their butts and think about what needs to be done in the house and do it by themselves? It annoys me even more because we have always had an arrangement that these types of things should be 50/50 because we both are busy and both enjoy our own time. Even outside the house where we have a deal that he does the lawns. He will leave it for 6 weeks and usually longer than that so its like a paddock rather than a lawn and only gets off his butt when I tell him all week that it needs doing then it finally gets done. 
I need sleep! And yes I am going to "discuss" this with him. But when Daniel is in bed. |
Replies:
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 10:05am
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I dont have this problem - I just make a list of things for mine to do and he does them, with much complaining of course :P ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 10:19am
| Yep. And what you typed could easily be something I would have typed. I agree it would be awesome not to have to ask for things to be done, or have to repeat things you have asked to be done. It's a wonder I'm not a lezzie. |
Posted By: Neeks
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 10:50am
Well said  I feel this way most of the time... he'll just sit there and EXPECT me to do everything-------------  
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 10:58am
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Dh does the exact same thing with the washing,he doesn't put anything in the basket until the weekend, so I have a whole weeks worth of socks and boxers and his work uniform. Then he has the nerve to get pissed at me if I haven't washed his uniform. I have said numerous times to him, if the uniform isn't in the wash on Friday night it won't get washed. Conor knows the rules, he knows he has to put his uniform in the wash after school on a Friday. My only suggestion to you is to stop doing his washing. Wash yours and Daniels. As for the housework, suggest to him that perhaps he would like a roster system or even a list system! They dont know how to use their initiative. Tell him if he doesn't improve you will start treating him like a child. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 11:20am
I can't really add much except to say I agree with the list idea - I think most men need to be told, rather than expected, as far as housework goes. Half the time DH is the one reminding *me* to do stuff!  ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 11:27am
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My DP is lazy and you know why? cos like many boys hes a mummys boy, sorry to be blunt but its true .
Honestly from the patients ive seen, men and teenage boys, you should see the way their mothers mollycoddle them , actually no, you shouldn't,its disturbing , i mean 17 and your mum holding your hand? WIMPS ...anyway, my DPs mother has admitted to me that she has always done everything for DP , good on her, doesnt mean i will |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 11:36am
| Yep my DH does all that,...execpt your lucky that hes done the vacumming 5 times,..I dont think DH even knows how to turn it on! |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 12:17pm
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Grant will do the lawns but sometimes I actually have to "ask" him to please do it. He doesnt want me to touch the lawnmower. Housework? Ha ha ha ha I think he will do the dishes about twice a year if that. He will do the vacuuming about every 4 months and that is when I ask. He doesnt even make the bed if he sleeps late (granted he would have been called out during the night adn is tired). He does however clean the shower after he showered.
His mom while she was here made him coffee the whole time and commented that her poor boy work so hard and I cant even make him coffee. Well if I start doing that too I will literally be his slave and I am not about to start doing that at all. He does however help with McKayla and do nappies ect but I sometimes really would appreciate some help over weekends with the house. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 12:43pm
| note to self - stop holding Jake's hand. |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 1:10pm
Lol same here I am always behind on any sort of cleaning so Ben has to come home and help me. I feel bad cos I know its my job but oh well. |
Pearls wrote:Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 1:37pm
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I live with a clean freak... apparently I leave things lying around for too long...
That said, he never cleans properly, well not to my standards anyway. Never tell him that, means I dont have to clean as often. 
I even taught him how to use the washing machine a couple of months ago. He complained as he had run out of boxers and I hadnt done a wash for a while... he now does at least one load a week!!! Mind, I did tell him when we first started dating that just because his mother does it does not mean i will do it. Have reiterated that frequently. |
Posted By: Mum2ET
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 2:41pm
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DH is exactly the same regarding mowing the lawn. he hates doing it and I have nag and nag for it to get done...grrrrr. ------------- Mum to Ella (5) and Tom (2) |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 2:52pm
The stupid thing about the lawn is that he says he likes doing it but he still doesn't do it 
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 3:27pm
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Call his bluff and tell him, if he doesn't want to do it that you will take money out of your budget to pay someone. Worked for me ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3)
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 3:44pm
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Note to self - give DH a massive kiss when he gets in cos by the sounds of it i've got it pretty good.
DH mows the front lawn one week and the back lawn the next, we have quite a large section. He puts on washing (in actually fact the only washing I do is the nappies) he hangs it out brings it in and sorts and puts it away. He also loads and unloads the dishwasher. I tend to use the dishwasher as an extra cupboard 
I leave my crap everywhere, dirty clothes in the bathroom and by the side of the bed, plates and cups on the computer desk and the coffee table. Seriously I am a pig. I do clean the bathroom, kitchen, do the vacuuming and pretty much all of the cooking and most of looking after Spencer, DH tends to only do the fun bits with him. Except today when I went out and DH had him all morning. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 4:41pm
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Omg I feel your pain!!!
Just had an argument with my DF tonight about housework, all I asked him to do is carry the washing basket to the laundry for me, I had to ask him 4 times cos he was sitting there itching his feet like mad man(has a heat rash thing) and in the end I was like FINE ILL DO IT MYSELF, so I did, then AFTER I had loaded the machine he comes in and I was like well theres no blimmin point being in here now Ive done it myself grrrrrrrrr Now he is doing the dishes, if I get the vacummne cleaner out I wonder if he will offer to do it for me......hmmmm
MEN! ------------- |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 4:46pm
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Sheza, damn right he should be doing the vacuuming, you certainly shouldn't be! ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3)
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 4:46pm
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Ohh so he finishes the dishes and says to me "Is that good enough for you"
If looks could kill he would be a dead man!! The he grins at me like he was joking, SOOOOO not in the mood for that crap tonight ------------- |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 4:48pm
LMAO!!!! omg that is the exact conversation we had at my work the other day, after we had a guy come in with his mum, his mum had phoned all day for an appointment as "aparently" her 22yr old son had broken a tooth and was in unbearable excrucuiting pain!! so we got him in (after hours) and . . it was a tiny chip off the corner of a tooth, he didnt want any local and he didnt even flinch once! must have been in heaps of pain huh !? NOT!! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 4:54pm
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LOL I hear ya - today i told dh to clean the bathroom - and he did! I mean if I ask him he does it but its the constant asking that bugs me - hes not bling he can see what needs to be done. (oh I need to check myself here as Dh did 'notice' it needed vacuming and did it)....
I work part time so i don't think the housework is totally mine to do. Dh doesn't do the washing but mainly cause I would worry he would put the wrong colours with things ( and he would) but if I text whn I am at work to put washing out he will (hes home for lunch i am not) I did have a word with him about not putting washing out 'oh I didn't knwo there was any' A family of 5 and he thinks theres no washing LOL  and after everything he wonder why i dont want to roll in the hay (so to speak) at the end of the day!!!!  ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 5:02pm
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Mehehe he is vacumming ------------- |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 5:38pm
haha, you work in the house of horrors as well huh? Isnt funny how according to the mums its always "hes in unbearable pain "? Although with our wimpy patients they would ask for the local , and then go "ah ah , oh my gosh that really hurts " We had one guy who had a clean for goodness sake ,and the carry on ! you would have thought we were amputating his leg with a spoon-or that he was going through actual pain , like give birth
I was just thinking , my mum was pretty lucky , my dad cleans, cooks and does the washing without ever being asked....hmmm.... |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 5:50pm
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I had this problem until I told him that I wasn't doing any of his washing if it wasn't in the basket. But he is more tidy than me (you don't want to see the state of my house at the moment) so will usually do more than me when he was home. I know that when we live in Waiouru there are going to be a few changes as he will need to have his uniform washed and dried each night, so it will be washing at night time. I don't mind washing it and drying it but he will stil iron it as I am allergic. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Snickerdoodle
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 6:37pm
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I have it fairly lucky.
But as of late things have taken a slide towards "a sweet deal" for DH. He cooks 3 or 4 times a week and does the dishes every night. But I do all the housework, washing and 99% of the baby stuff. Even in the weekend. He's getting better. He gives Hannah her bath every night, feeds her and puts her to bed, so the evenings are nice for me (I still have to express though, so Hannah has a bottle for the following night). But he's definitely one that needs to be asked to do something or it doesn't get done. He does, however, do the lawns on a regular basis. He's had a load of washing sitting in the machine since yesterday afternoon that he didn't hang out (I sure as hell wasn't going to do itas I'd JUST finished ironing and folding a weeks worth of washing). Now it's in the drier ------------- 
http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 7:53pm
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I don't seem to have it toooooo bad...with no kids yet, DF cooks most nights and ummm....oh ok, maybe it is. I do all the laundry and general cleaning. He does help me with the dishes (when I tell him to dry them after I've washed....although more often than not he just waits until they dry themselves and just puts them away). Lawns. Well. Hrmmm. Once upon a time, for 9 years, DF worked/managed a lawn mowing company. He now hates lawn mowing. I refuse to do them as I do the indoor stuff. We've owned our house for just over 3 months. The lawns have been mowed twice. First time about 4 weeks after we moved in, second time yesterday (with no catcher cos they were so long) and only after I told him that if he didn't I would pay someone to come in and do them. Lots of swearing and moaning in the process however!!!
Hrmmm, that looks kinda bad LOL I prefer to do the cleaning over him though, cos he's a guy and doesn't see all the dirt I do.....although in saying that, I am SERIOUSLY not a tidy person and he always goes to fill the gas bottle for me 
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Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 8:17pm
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Yeah I have a Mummys boy- but then again, he never does anything right so I prefer to do most of the housework so I know its being done properly. He does put his washing in the basket though, he knows it would get thrown in the bin if he pulled that kind of stunt as I have enough washing to do on the weekends as it is!
His Mother molly coddles him still to this day- she would wipe his bum if he let her  ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 9:30pm
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Oh on the lawns note - we pay Josh to do them
note to self don't molly colly JOsh so his wife doesn't have this problem LOL ------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: blondie
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 9:37pm
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I must have it good as DH mows the lawns (i can't start the silly mower :)) he will clean the house,vacumm but the one thing he does not do is cook his idea of cooking is baked beans or spag! but other wise yeah i've got it pretty good
Good luck all the others out there ------------- 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 9:50pm
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Hang on if I rmember rightly didn't we talk about him and his clothing on Thursday night ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 11:06pm
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DH does the lawns and that's about it. But the thing is we don't have a day to day schedule as he's away half our lives anyway that its easier for me to do them.
I have told him that when he's home he can cook one night (doesn't happen, its fend for ourselves night) and if the washing isn't in the laundry, it doesn't get done. He used to vacuum as part of the housework but has only been home 2 days this month so I'm not waiting THAT long for them to be done!
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Posted By: blondie
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 11:10pm
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ha ha becks yes ok thats his prob 2 down fall before karate he leaves his work clothes anywhere in the house thats why he found them outside the back door when he got home lol the dog thought they were good to sleep on... -------------
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Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 26 May 2008 at 9:53am
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I tried to do the lawns a couple of years ago for a bit of exercise - and OMG did I muck it up or what!
I pressed a few buttons on the mower and then did a strip of grass - but I had pressed the wrong buttons and I ended up cutting the grass SO short that it was basically just dirt! OOPS! So Ive never been asked to do the lawns again!
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