who will be at the birth with you?
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Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=2118
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Topic: who will be at the birth with you?
Posted By: Syd
Subject: who will be at the birth with you?
Date Posted: 11 April 2006 at 11:25pm
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Hello ladies, I'm interested to know who will be at the birth with you? I am wanting it to be just me with my husband (and mymidwife/doctor course) but my MIL wants to see the baby being born which I would find really weird and uncomfortable (I am quite a private person. How do say urrrr NO! In a nice way! Has anyone else had issues like this? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 11 April 2006 at 11:33pm
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well, with xander i had my midwife and her back up midwife,my mother,naths mother,naths sister,my aunty(up my end of the bed and only for awee bit as she had work),one of my best mates who was due 5-6 days after me but lost her girl at 20 weeks),and of course ME lol i too am a very shy reserved privaye person and in the end i really did not care who was in the room. But...... with Harmony i only had midwife,her student midwife,nath and ME.it all happened to fast for anyone else that wanted to be there. ------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com"> 
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 12:06am
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since i wasnt with caitlyns dad i felt too weird having him at the birth, turns out he didnt get there till 2mins after she was born (bloody auckland traffic) even if i had wanted him in the room.
I had my mummy, my oldest friend (was 3months pregnant and after seeing my au naturel delivery professed to everyone she was doing it drugfree like me ...she didnt) a family friend who had been very supportive and my midwife. Next time i want my HUSBAND (cos i'll be married of COURSE) and my mum wants to come in again and my best mate, Rachel. AS for ur MIL bugger her! it is YOUR labour, yours, your husbands and ur babies.....if she cant respect or try to understand that, then she really has no business being there. Recently i was at the birth of my friends (gorgeous) baby girl and the whole time i knew what an honour it was for me to be there, even tho i had been the only one supporting her thru the whole pregnancy and ur mil should understand that just becoz its her grandchild it doesnt make it a right but a priviledge, and u dont have to give that priviledge. U may have lots of other babies and each birth will be different but this will be ur first babies birth (im guessing) and once u do it u cant go back and change it so if u dont want her there, talk to her or get ur husband to...shes a woman and im guessing has done labour before,she should understand. If not just dont tell her when ur in labour and then ring once bubs is born and say " sorry she/he just came so fast! no time to call!" sorry to ramble 
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Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 4:10am
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I wanted only Jamie (hubby) and of course the midwife there, but I ended up with Jamie, my mum (asked her in last minute), my midwife and another midwife(she had only started with the company that day!) and Im a shy person but as soon as your in labour your chain of thought change!
My midwife turned up at home and I was naked!.. Id just got out of the bath and didnt care!!! I tell tell you what though, If I had it my way I would of gone to the hospital naked LOL
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 6:32am
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Husband, midwife, student midwife / backup midwife, me, and MAYBE one other person (a friend) - but my mum couldn't handle it, so no way ! My MIL maybe, but she doesn't live in NZ. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: fairsk8
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 7:20am
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Syd I had the same problem. My partners mother insisted on being there as she had seen our nephew born and wanted to be their for her oldest sons first baby as well. I asked my partner to tell her no but he couldn't as she is very emotional at the moment(I think it menopause)and he was afraid of really upsetting her. She drove over as soon as my contractions were regular and stayed the whole time with me, she was with me at the hospital more than my partner was(he sat in waiting room). I too am a very private person and tried to tell my partner there are some things his mother should just not see, but in the end I really didn't care as my mind was else where. And ended up having C-section so only my partner was there for the actual birth.
I suggest getting your partner to have a quiet word with your MIL and explain to her that you are uncomfortable with her being there and maybe suggest that she stays up your end of the bed so she not looking down there. ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/"> 
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Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 8:04am
at my first i had my hubby, my mum (and she was great ) my dad was in the room also but i made him hide behind the curtain!!!! and of course my midwife.
my second... my mum had just left with my daughter so she wasnt. it was hubby, my midwife, house nurse?, prob about 3 other midwifes?? there were heaps anyway, i had my back to them so dont really know, but it happened so quick and my midwife wasnt quite ready for me! and i needed a IV put in before i could poush to prevent another heamorrhage! argh it was a mess! 
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Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 8:12am
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Sorry for the nice MIL's out there but no F%$&* way was mine going to be there! Luckily she didn't ask!
I had my partner and my midwife. Another midwife/doctor came in to help with the placenta at the end. When I went into labour I could hardly talk as the contractions started off strong and kept going until I gave birth.. My friend rang up in the middle of them and I had to hang up on her as i couldn't say anything.. so my mum didn't find out I had given birth until I rang her a few mins after Ella was born! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: deharn
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 8:20am
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My MIL wanted to come in too as we were having her only grandchild (other son can't have children and we were only having 1).
I immediately said NO that it would only be my husband and I with our midwife. I am generally a very non confrontational person and will go to great lengths not to upset or dissapoint anyone. However I felt so strongly about this being such a special experience for my husband and I. She then wanted the compromise of waiting in the waiting room which I asked her if she would please wait until we came and got her. In the end because it happened in the middle of the night we phoned her and she came up to the house and waited there with my other daughter. She was the first person person we called and she came to the hspital about 20mins after he was born. My 1st labour with my daughter, I had her dad and my mum but that was a different set of circumstances and I was only 20. It is hard to explain but that was giving birth where I needed my mum; but this time with my husband it was very special for us both. Giving birth is so personal, special and beautiful and it is all yours so you do exactly want you. |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 8:24am
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Hi, Syd
People who've had babies usually tell me that you lose all your inhibitions once you're in labour and there's so much that you thought you'd care about that you suddenly don't... (aaarrrrgggghhhhh!) That being said, my first baby is due in 5 months and I am certain that I only want my husband, midwife, and the midwife's assistant there. If anyone else asks to be there, I'll be telling them that it's a first birth for me, and I only want hubby there. Maybe after one baby I'll have a better idea of whether or not I'd be comfortable with extra's in the room next time round, but I'm not inviting anyone else just to please them when it'd make me really nervous about the prospect of it. One thing I've found so far - if I were to try and keep everyone in my extended family happy re: this baby (find out the gender, tell them all the gender, invite people to midwife appointments, refuse to go near the garden, report every new development asap, kick the cat out, etc, etc) I'd be run ragged, and still wouldn't please them all. It'll be me and my husband largely responsible for raising this child, so we can start making decisions about it now! Don't wanna get caught in the trap of well-meaning family members making our decisions for us when it goes against the grain of what we're OK with. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: tania4
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 9:13am
My hubby will be in theatre when I have my c-section(his choice)Was wondering if any other partners here have done this and how did they feel??we have been told that we can have it videoed too We think we will do this,just not too sure if I will ever watch it  hehe
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Posted By: Syd
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 10:00am
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wow - I'm gald I'm not the only one! For me and hubby it is such a private special experience (its our first) that we want it to be just us. I know people say that you don't care once it starts but I still don't want too many people around. I would have my own mother there for support as we are so close but my family live in the UK. If Hubby for some reason can't make it (He works on a farm so is sometimes out of cell phone coverage and is quite a distance away) I have my best friend who will be there. She is alos form the uK and is in the same situation as me so we share eveything and are like sisters. My problem is that I'm too nice and wnat to make everyone happy! Although I get on well with my MIL is just not like it is with my mum (of course) put it this way, I wouldn't be comfortabale naked in fornt of her!
I talked to my midwife about it and she was great! She said that the woman has to feel really comfortable when she is giving birth. She has had situations where family members who wern't invited (uncles ect) have wlaked into the room and labour has just slowed down completely and even stopped. She has then had to ask the people to leave. I think a good talk is in order - won't get hubby to do it, he will just say **** off! and I wnat her to understand why. I'm sure she will. Thanks for all the stories - Its good to know I'm not the only one! Oh I also might just call once bubs is born is say - sorry there was no time! Thats a good tactic! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 10:08am
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for xanthes birth i had my hubby, and my mum with me, as well as midwife and student midwife. This time round it will prob be hubby and my mum, and midwife. My mil pitched a fit a few months ago, and said why wasnt she invited in? ( actually happened on xanthe's 2nd birthday, she holds a grudge ) and also informed me that HER daughter is inviting her mil in with them, as well as her mum and hubby, and what a nasty piece of work i am for not having MY mil there! i am still gutted about that, but all it has done is made me want to issue an invitation to anyone who is interested to be there, apart from her! ( i hold a grudge too tee hee)
My feelings are that labour is all about you, the mother. all the support people are in there to support you. the baby is the end result. So the thought of having someone in there who is likely to do a michael jackson is freaky. It is ultimately your decision, and your mil will have to respect that. She will still be there as soon as possible after the birth, will still get to meet the new arrival.... go with what you want. (sorry for the novel) ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe -  my big 4 year old 
and Jordis - 1 year old 
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 10:21am
| Midwife, Husband and Mum |
Posted By: EthansMummy
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 10:28am
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I will be having my midwife, my partner and my mum. There is no way I am letting anyone else see my fu-fu and I am dead certain I will tell them that as well.
P.S Thanks to whoever brought the word fu-fu on here (my preggy brain will not allow me to remember). I have been using it ever since. ------------- ** MUM TO ** Ethan 29/08/2006 Brooke 22/09/2008 |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 10:42am
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With Kiya, I had my mum, my midwife and a second midwife who was more familiar with water births than my midwife was.
With Josiah, I had my midwife, and Nathaniel. This time? It'll be whichever of my midwives are on (shared care) and hopefully Nathaniel. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 10:43am
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Midwife, doctor (my doc delivers), Husband (of course!) and more than likely my best friend. We've know each for 17 years. She had two children (c-sections) and would love to see a non c-section delivery (fingers crossed for me then huh) plus I know she will be awesome support so more than likely she will get her wish!
I'd be fine for my MIL to be there if things worked out that way but then we get on really well so that would be fine. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 10:56am
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i had my mum my mums best friend becs, my best friend neats and my dad turned up cause he thought i would of had the baby already (he left if i asked and came back in after! it is tottaly up to u who u have there ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 11:24am
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Zaara is our first and I told hubby and midwie that I only want my hubby and my mum there. So when the day came my Aunt came along with mum to help out and trust me I need her. I was in labour for 48 hours and she was very helpful. While we were waiting for me to dialate to 10cm my MIL came to hospital with hubby...and I was like what the hell?...I looked at my hubby and he came close to me and said she insisted babe...I was like I dont give a f***....I dont want her here when I am giving birth, even tho my Aunt was being so helpful I told her that I want her out of the room while I am actually pushing and giving birth...so I dont want YOUR mum there!!!! He said oh no she will get out of the room, I told her!! Yah right I thought!
Finally when my midwife (and a junior midwife in training) told me that its time to push....my mum told my Aunt to go and my hubby told my MIL to go...she went but stood on the other side of the curtain....F*** I thought.....made me sooo mad and I think my midwife could tell so she went out and told her to wait in the waiting room. Any way I ended up having a C Section ...I was scared to death (since I never wanted to be cut open)...so I was being brave and my hubby, mum were telling how every thing will be fine...in comes my MIL pouring her eyes out .....oh dear what is happening? they have to do a c section...oh dear I hope every thing will be fine...I was for F*** sake.......Any way I asked hubby on my way to theater what was her problem....he said she was just worried about me....yah like hell she is, she couldnt care less if I was alive as long as her first grandchild was....I thought!!! Ahhhh nice story huh? I actually forgot all these nasty things...but my advice is to tell her that you only feel comfy with your hubby and mum and she should respect that. She will see her grandchild soon enough!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 11:59am
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I like your idea of having a good ol' talk with your MIL, Syd. You go, girl - decide beforehand where you need to draw the line for your own sake, and stick to that. If you explain how you feel to her and she makes things hard for you, maybe her son's "f*** off" approach might be called for after all (coming from him, of course)!!! It's not really fair for the guys to leave us to deal with their mothers when the going gets tough, but I can see why you'd want to try a gentler approach with her!
The idea of ringing afterwards and saying "sorry - too quick, no time to ring you" would be great if it works for you, but there's a big risk of it going wrong. I don't think I'd believe people who told me that during a however-many-hours-long labour there wasn't a single minute where the hubby could make a quick call to let me know. It leaves way too much space for resentment and grudges later on... and for plans absolutely set in concrete for how she's going to get there for any subsequent births you have, like it or not! Methinks the straight-up approach is a good plan A, and if she gives you grief over it, then a plan B. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 12:10pm
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... and Roksana, I can't believe your story!!! That's just awful - I'd be wanting to rip someone's head off! You've inspired me to make sure I talk with my husband about not just who I want there, but how much I mean that everyone NOT on that list is NOT wanted there, too, whether they 'insist' or not! I'll have to leave the gate-keeping up to him on the day, so I guess he'd better be clear on where I want to draw the line.
I actually want an hour or so after the birth for just us two and our new baby, before anyone gets called and told about the arrival (because I'll be exhausted, have health condition that makes exhaustion extreme for me - and because that's the only chance we'll ever get to be alone with our brand new child when he/she is at it's brandest newest ever). Can't be alone with baby when it's being handed round everyone, and from what I hear, I'll still be being cleaned up and don't want extras there for that! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 12:24pm
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Yah I know Andie....mind you after 48 hours of labour and then a c section I was exhausted and I only saw baby after they cleaned it up (I was still being cleaned up and sawn (sp???) back together, the baby therefore went to grandparent (my mum got hold of her fisrt...he he ha ha). Then they brought her back for a feed and then taken away while I recover in the recovery room....Hubby and I were falling asleep as we had no sleep for 48 hours and a long long few hours of pushing!!! But after I was brought back to the room my MIL stayed only for 30 min and left only my parents stayed back to see If I needed any thing...so it was good!
I honestly think it is wise to decide and put your foot down about who is in the room with you. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 1:04pm
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I would say talk to your mil and tell her that you'd prefer it just be you and your hubby, or get hubby to tell her that YOU BOTH want it that way (not, "well really I want you but she says no..waht can I do. shrug") If you feel comfortable, tell her you'd love it if she waited outside and she can be the first to hold bubs after you and hubby. or something like that. she should understand and if she doesn't - well, it's better to lay down the law now rather than in a few months time when she's insiting that your baby has solids at one month because "she lokoed hungry"...(yah fil!!!)
And with my boy Jake, i had mum, nana, hubby and dad (came in thinking it was the "aftermath" - not realising it was still going), oh and two midwives with taine, me (duh), hubby, mum and midwife. I decided to ask nana to look after my first son as she wasn't too helpful at the birth. Kept telling me to keep the noise down. And then TALKED ABOUT THE RUGBY AS I PUSHED!!!! Not impressed. |
Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 1:43pm
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I think it will just be Mark and I and the MW. Paige might get bought up for a little while but I think it might be a bit daunting for her seeing her Mum in a WEE bit of pain.....
I might also take a good friend along who has quite a calming personality! -------------  
 
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Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 1:44pm
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What is it with the MILs wanting to be there?? Mine wanted to be there as well.
I only wanted Spencer & my mum & my midwife, but Spencer didn't want my mum to be there. I told my mum she couldn't come & she was happy with that, but when Spencer told his mum she got sooooooo upset (she cried!) and said I was being horrible & trying to be mean to her. I think it could have been because when her first grandchild was born she was the last to find out. Not on purpose it was just an oversight because everything was rush-rush because it happened nearly 4 weeks before expected. This time around my MIL hasn't said a word. My mum is looking after Alex but I wouldn't mind her being there this time, maybe with Alex there but I don't know how that would work at all. ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 1:48pm
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I would suggest too having a chat to your MIL and if that doesn't work then having your hubby as the back up plan is a good idea. And just make sure your midwife knows who you do or don't want there because they can be great for acting as security. The last thing you want when your in labour is to be getting upset over unwelcome spectators. ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 2:29pm
Are you referring to me?? If so, then read this.. Despite people who say you definately know when you're in labour, maybe it's true for some, but not for me! How are you meant to know how painful contractions are meant to be? It's not like your midwife can demonstrate it to you.. anyway, I was in labour and my contractions were going strong and getting closer together.. and after quite a few hours they got further apart.. luckily we left for hospital when we did as I was 8cm dialated when I got there.. my midwife said to take my time coming into hospital, as it sounded like we had heaps of time left. If I'd waited I would have given birth at home! Thus the reason for not calling anyone yet!! Once I was in hospital, believe it or, there was NO time to call anyone, my contractions were full on, I would not let go of my partner and my midwife was busy arranging all the gear/paperwork needed for the birth of my baby. So it wasn't until I had a few moments to rest that I was able to call my mum.. Anyway, I only wanted my DP, midwife and myself there. What's wrong with that? It's our child, our decision, no one else has a right to be there (they may think they do!) but ultimately you have the last word. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Andie wrote:Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 2:37pm
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Hi, meow,
nope - I wasn't referring to you! I had only skimmed some of the posts in-between the first and last few, and wasn't referring to any person in particular, just to the IDEA of using that as a plan to ensure that a MIL who isn't welcome at the birth isn't there. Methinks it could go horribly wrong later down the track, that's all. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: AnnaD
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 2:49pm
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I had mum and Andy and the midwife. The mil never asked to be there and i wouldn't expect her to this time round either! She is not that type of person. I would prob prefer her not to be there but seeing as it is my second time I wouldn't mind if she wanted to.
I would say that if your MIL wants to be there and you're not keen, you should tell her now and be brutally honest about it. If she throws a wobbly then tough. Being content in your surroundings in labour is vital and if she is there stressing you out it is just going to make everything longer and harder. My mum has on more than one occasion delivered the baby of a woman whose MIL insists on being there, despite what the woman wants. My mum (as the midwife) just takes the MIL to the side and asks them to leave, without giving any specific reason. Makes it harder for the MIL to throw a wobbly if it is a stranger asking them to leave, and afterwards if she wants to complain about it you could just say blame the midwife? Maybe chat to your MW and ask her? ------------- Anna and Quinn 10 July 2004 www.quinnariki.blogspot.com and one more on the way.... http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: AnnaD
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 2:50pm
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And Roksana, that is shocking!! I would not haved coped at all. ------------- Anna and Quinn 10 July 2004 www.quinnariki.blogspot.com and one more on the way.... http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 3:02pm
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Anna...Yah well I lived with her for 3 years (long story, posted on here some where)....so learned to cope with loads of stuff. Dont get me wrong I like my MIL, and she spoils me heaps now, since I have given birth to her precious grandchild. But a situation like labour and giving birth is so private and precious to me that I would only like to share it with people close to my heart. I love my Dad and Aunt but that does not make me comfortable sharing this experience with them...And I strongly believe that you need to be comfortable and stress free when you are pushing out your precious baby.
------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: robyn
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 3:07pm
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I planned to just have my hubby and mum there and midwife of course but beecasue he was so early and the diabetes thing ended up having mum, hubby, midwife, 2x hospital midwifes, registrar plus her trainee registrar whatever they are called and about 3 people for the pediatric team who took him away to nicu right after. I got to hold him for about 5 seconds and then hubby went with him, mum stayed with me for a little while and my sister arrived with my nana about 10 minutes later but they didnt realise Kobe had been born just got sick of waiting at home and thought they would come and see if hubby or mum needed anything. I also considered myself a very private person but found i just didnt care during labour. ------------- KOBE born 19 March 2004 http://www.TickerFactory.com/"> 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 3:10pm
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I only wanted midwife and DH. Had a big argument with my mum, who whated to be there, but I am fairly private, so I wasn't keen. She hadn't said anything to me, only my brothers, so I ended up just saying to her that I only wanted to share that time with Rod and any med staff that had to be there. She got over it in the end. Not too sure how she was planning to be there, though, as they live in CHCH and us in Blenners, and the family's lear jet was busy??? (lol)
They arrived a few hours after I had Jacob, and that was ok. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Syd
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 3:17pm
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Hey gotta say Roksana, I would have gone mad! Thats exactly the kind of situation I want to avoid! My MIL can be a bit dramatic. My B&SIL had to have in have thier baby induced two weeks early as he wasn't feeding so well and MIL was carrying on and crying like it was the end of the world!They were cruzy with saying oh well hes better in than out!
I'm gonna have an honest chat with her tonight I think and just let her know how we feel - figured its best to nip it in the bud early so everyone knows whats what! Won't let hubby do it cos he will just be too blunt and upset her! Not the most tactful man in the world! I'm the same as Andie in the way that we want to have the fist hour or so with our baby alone just to enjoy that specail time together as a new family and also to get our heads round the fact yes we do really have our own baby! I think I'm gonna be bit OMG its real for a while! My midwife is great, so I think she will be good with allowing/not allowing people in. As Anna said, she said she had experience with women who's albours have slowed down because they have felt uncortable with someone being there who they don't want. I was talking to my mum this morning about it (Shes in the UK so won't be here) and she made me laugh - I told her I was thinking about a waterbirth and she said, well thats allright then cos MIL can't swim can she?! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 3:34pm
Lol Syd..... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 3:53pm
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Funny isnt it how we all think! Personally just having my partner with me the whole time is more inmportant than any other family member. We created the little tyke and it is a very private personal time. I know in some cultures it is very common and in popular practice to have the whole family there and present and thats cool too.
From having my first baby with just the midwife and my then husband I know I liked the peacefulness of it all and knowing that no one was sitting around waiting and worrying ready to pounce!!! -------------
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 3:53pm
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LOL at the MIL not being able to swim LOL
Im glad my in laws are in oz and that kenepuru is pretty secure, i dont want visitors until at least the next day depending on when shes born. Im a cow at the best of times so id hate to think what i would be like in labour LOL |
Posted By: Syd
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 3:56pm
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My mum does come out with some funny things! I told here that MIL wanted to be there for the birth as she had never seen a baby being born, and her reply was where was she for her own at the pub round the corner!
------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 3:57pm
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The other thing is once everyone turned up about an hour after Paige was born - I was forgotten about!!! I dont think I actually help Paige until I was shipped off to a Private Birth Centre later on that night (about 6 hours after she popped out) -------------
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Posted By: kellverona
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 4:04pm
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Im gunna make it clear at the start that I just want my partner and midwife to be in the room . NOONE else!!! Mum and Dad live 4 hours away and reckon they will come after baby is born so that is cool. Not sure what Partners parents plan to do, hopefully the same thing. ------------- http://pregnancyplanet.net/tickers/"> 
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 6:13pm
I'm guessing you meant "better out than in" ... ? ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 6:42pm
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if your mils complain about that, tell them you are going to ban visitors for the first 6 weeks...... that will shut her up!
my couz did this, didnt let anyone meet her son for the first 6 weeks as she and her hubby wanted to "bond" with him. am seriously considering banning my hubbys family from being around for that length of time too - not coz we want to bond, just because.... ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe - my big 4 year old
and Jordis - 1 year old
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Posted By: robyn
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 7:26pm
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Hey Jez you might be surprised and want people to come visit. I know I was left by myself about an hour after he was born and it was horrible. I wanted to talk to someone about my baby and show him off but had given hubby strict orders not to leave Kobes side while they worked on him and mum was shattered and had to go to work aswell, midwife had to go and do the paperwork so I was just left by myself. Cos of the epidural I couldnt even get up and go and ring everyone, just had to lay there till someone came back. ------------- KOBE born 19 March 2004 http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
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Posted By: Syd
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 9:14pm
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sorry yep, better out than in! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: angel
Date Posted: 12 April 2006 at 11:27pm
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I had hubby, midwife, and a 2nd midwife for about 10 minutes as Ella was born. I had a 1st year midwifery student but decided not to call her.
This time, Im thinking hubby, midwife, and 2nd year midwifery student (if I feel comfortable of course - havent met her yet!) and *possibly* my mum, depending on when she gets to Dunedin and of course how I feel on the day! ------------- Aimee Ella - 5.5 years old! Toby - nearly 3 years old! 
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Posted By: fairsk8
Date Posted: 13 April 2006 at 7:00am
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Syd if your MIL takes it fairly hard and doesn't listen to you and reckons she is still goin to turn up, talk to your M/W. When going through your birth plan your M/W should ask you who you want to be there with you and what you would like to tell people who are not welcome. M/W are used to dealing with situations like this. ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/">
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 13 April 2006 at 12:47pm
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when i was in labour with james i had people come and go but they always asked me (midwife)if i wanted them to come in if i didnt they were asked to leave and if she cant do that(your mil) then theres no wonder u dont want her there!!! ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 13 April 2006 at 1:01pm
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my MIL was absent! ok, we live in different places (even in different islands!) but she didnt even fly down after. i dont mind though. she has since disowned us.
oh, so she doesnt even know im preg with this baby. i feel bad for hubby and the girls but i figure its her loss. anyway, for this birth i expect it just to be hubby and midwife (and any help for the midwife needed) |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 13 April 2006 at 2:22pm
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With Maya it was just me, my best friend (who had done the antenatal classes with me as Willie refused to be at the birth) and the midwife there when Maya was actually born, but two registrars kept popping in and out to check on us during the labour.
With the twins I imagine there will be a lot more 'medical' type people - especially if I have a casear. aside from that, I'mplanning on it just being Willie and I - I guess trying to make up for the fact that we didn't get to experience Maya's birth together. The MIL thing isn't an issue as mine passed away a few years ago, and my Mum lives in Oz so she caught the first flight over after Maya was born which worked out well as it gave me a few hours to adjust before she arrived. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 13 April 2006 at 2:54pm
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i'm going to have hubby, midwife and my mum. i am guessing it will be a hell of a time and i'm gonna want to have my mum there with me
my mil wanted to be there with jack but thankfully he was a c-section and this time they will be up north when bubs is due, thank god as there's no way i'd want her to be in there ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Syd
Date Posted: 14 April 2006 at 8:01am
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Phew..... Hey ladies, a quick update for you. I spoke to my MIL last night and she was fine, very understanding so that is cool! She was actualy very apolgogetic saying she didn't mean to worry me. thats a load of my mind! Glad it's sorted now! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 14 April 2006 at 8:25am
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hey syd that's great that it worked out for you! ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: fairsk8
Date Posted: 14 April 2006 at 9:08am
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Thats awesome that you got it sorted and she was very understanding. ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/">
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 14 April 2006 at 9:12am
| what a nice MIL! |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 14 April 2006 at 9:34am
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Hey that's great ! Glad she took it well, one less thing on your mind ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 14 April 2006 at 9:55am
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Heck yea!!!
Life is too precious to worry about all this sometimes "trivial" stuff that people can bring! -------------
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 14 April 2006 at 2:02pm
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yeah so true....glad it worked out for ya
just a question, has anyone whos had a child before had them at the birth? might be scary for the young ones a? |