who will be at the birth with you?

Hello ladies, I'm interested to know who will be at the birth with you? I am wanting it to be just me with my husband (and mymidwife/doctor course) but my MIL wants to see the baby being born which I would find really weird and uncomfortable (I am quite a private person. How do say urrrr NO! In a nice way! Has anyone else had issues like this?

since i wasnt with caitlyns dad i felt too weird having him at the birth, turns out he didnt get there till 2mins after she was born (bloody auckland traffic) even if i had wanted him in the room.
I had my mummy, my oldest friend (was 3months pregnant and after seeing my au naturel delivery professed to everyone she was doing it drugfree like me ...she didnt) a family friend who had been very supportive and my midwife.
Next time i want my HUSBAND (cos i'll be married of COURSE) and my mum wants to come in again and my best mate, Rachel.

AS for ur MIL bugger her! it is YOUR labour, yours, your husbands and ur babies.....if she cant respect or try to understand that, then she really has no business being there.
Recently i was at the birth of my friends (gorgeous) baby girl and the whole time i knew what an honour it was for me to be there, even tho i had been the only one supporting her thru the whole pregnancy and ur mil should understand that just becoz its her grandchild it doesnt make it a right but a priviledge, and u dont have to give that priviledge.

U may have lots of other babies and each birth will be different but this will be ur first babies birth (im guessing) and once u do it u cant go back and change it so if u dont want her there, talk to her or get ur husband to...shes a woman and im guessing has done labour before,she should understand.

If not just dont tell her when ur in labour and then ring once bubs is born and say " sorry she/he just came so fast! no time to call!"

sorry to ramble

Husband, midwife, student midwife / backup midwife, me, and MAYBE one other person (a friend) - but my mum couldn't handle it, so no way ! My MIL maybe, but she doesn't live in NZ.

at my first i had my hubby, my mum (and she was great) my dad was in the room also but i made him hide behind the curtain!!!! and of course my midwife.
my second...
my mum had just left with my daughter so she wasnt.
it was hubby, my midwife, house nurse?, prob about 3 other midwifes?? there were heaps anyway, i had my back to them so dont really know, but it happened so quick and my midwife wasnt quite ready for me! and i needed a IV put in before i could poush to prevent another heamorrhage! argh it was a mess!

My MIL wanted to come in too as we were having her only grandchild (other son can't have children and we were only having 1).

I immediately said NO that it would only be my husband and I with our midwife. I am generally a very non confrontational person and will go to great lengths not to upset or dissapoint anyone. However I felt so strongly about this being such a special experience for my husband and I. She then wanted the compromise of waiting in the waiting room which I asked her if she would please wait until we came and got her.

In the end because it happened in the middle of the night we phoned her and she came up to the house and waited there with my other daughter. She was the first person person we called and she came to the hspital about 20mins after he was born.

My 1st labour with my daughter, I had her dad and my mum but that was a different set of circumstances and I was only 20. It is hard to explain but that was giving birth where I needed my mum; but this time with my husband it was very special for us both.

Giving birth is so personal, special and beautiful and it is all yours so you do exactly want you.

My hubby will be in theatre when I have my c-section(his choice)Was wondering if any other partners here have done this and how did they feel??we have been told that we can have it videoed too We think we will do this,just not too sure if I will ever watch it hehe

for xanthes birth i had my hubby, and my mum with me, as well as midwife and student midwife. This time round it will prob be hubby and my mum, and midwife. My mil pitched a fit a few months ago, and said why wasnt she invited in? ( actually happened on xanthe's 2nd birthday, she holds a grudge ) and also informed me that HER daughter is inviting her mil in with them, as well as her mum and hubby, and what a nasty piece of work i am for not having MY mil there! i am still gutted about that, but all it has done is made me want to issue an invitation to anyone who is interested to be there, apart from her! ( i hold a grudge too tee hee)
My feelings are that labour is all about you, the mother. all the support people are in there to support you. the baby is the end result. So the thought of having someone in there who is likely to do a michael jackson is freaky.
It is ultimately your decision, and your mil will have to respect that. She will still be there as soon as possible after the birth, will still get to meet the new arrival.... go with what you want.
(sorry for the novel)


Edited by xanthesmum

I will be having my midwife, my partner and my mum. There is no way I am letting anyone else see my fu-fu and I am dead certain I will tell them that as well.

P.S Thanks to whoever brought the word fu-fu on here (my preggy brain will not allow me to remember). I have been using it ever since.

Midwife, doctor (my doc delivers), Husband (of course!) and more than likely my best friend. We've know each for 17 years. She had two children (c-sections) and would love to see a non c-section delivery (fingers crossed for me then huh) plus I know she will be awesome support so more than likely she will get her wish!

I'd be fine for my MIL to be there if things worked out that way but then we get on really well so that would be fine.

Zaara is our first and I told hubby and midwie that I only want my hubby and my mum there. So when the day came my Aunt came along with mum to help out and trust me I need her. I was in labour for 48 hours and she was very helpful. While we were waiting for me to dialate to 10cm my MIL came to hospital with hubby...and I was like what the hell?...I looked at my hubby and he came close to me and said she insisted babe...I was like I dont give a f***....I dont want her here when I am giving birth, even tho my Aunt was being so helpful I told her that I want her out of the room while I am actually pushing and giving birth...so I dont want YOUR mum there!!!! He said oh no she will get out of the room, I told her!! Yah right I thought!

Finally when my midwife (and a junior midwife in training) told me that its time to push....my mum told my Aunt to go and my hubby told my MIL to go...she went but stood on the other side of the curtain....F*** I thought.....made me sooo mad and I think my midwife could tell so she went out and told her to wait in the waiting room. Any way I ended up having a C Section ...I was scared to death (since I never wanted to be cut open)...so I was being brave and my hubby, mum were telling how every thing will be fine...in comes my MIL pouring her eyes out .....oh dear what is happening? they have to do a c section...oh dear I hope every thing will be fine...I was for F*** sake.......Any way I asked hubby on my way to theater what was her problem....he said she was just worried about me....yah like hell she is, she couldnt care less if I was alive as long as her first grandchild was....I thought!!!

Ahhhh nice story huh? I actually forgot all these nasty things...but my advice is to tell her that you only feel comfy with your hubby and mum and she should respect that. She will see her grandchild soon enough!!!