Why can’t people keep their mouths shut!?
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Topic: Why can’t people keep their mouths shut!?
Posted By: MumsyMoo
Subject: Why can’t people keep their mouths shut!?
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 4:45pm
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Giving formula in training cups is no big deal, right?
Please tell me it's not. I just had a show down with some older woman in the food court because I overheard her 'whispering' (you know that really blatant 'I'm-whispereing-but-I-want-you-to-hear-me kinda thing) to her friend that I was lazy for not feeding my child and spending more time gas-bagging with my friend (another young mum). I kinda just looked at here and said 'Excuse me, what was that you were saying about me? And then to add insult to injury "and you should be breastfeeding too. I honestly don't know why they let young girls have children, they don't look after them properly" Uh-oh... Should've thought twice about crossing me, O'Wise One "For one... I'm not a young girl, I'm a young WOMAN and I'm a damn sight more mature than most of the girls my age. And second of all, Why the hell is it any of your business, and who the hell gives you the right to say that kind of thing to me!? Lastly... If I could still be breastfeeding, then you can bet your sweet ass I'd still be doing it. However, due to no fault of my own, despite all my efforts, I wasn't able to meet the supply demands of my child after getting sick. So why don't you just piss off and keep your opinions to yourself" She then had the audacity to tell me I should show more respect for my elders - Pfft, what? You mean you? Bugger off. Truth is, I kinda nutted out at her. I ended up in tears (which made me even angrier) Fact of the matter is, I *would* be feeding Eden if it weren't for the fact that she's grown attached to her damn sippy-cup. She down-right REFUSES her bottles, and won't even let you hold her when she's feeding. Instead she likes to lay back and feed herself... I'm sure there's nothing wrong with that... Surely!? Argh, I'm so annoyed. I'm annoyed at the stupid mole for deciding to cross me and question my ability as a parent, and I'm even more angry at myself for retaliating (I got a bit carried away and ended up ripping her the finger and telling her to sit and swivel before storming of... Not impressed with myself). I'm sick of the prejudice that comes with being a young mum. People take one look at me and kinda give me the "oh, you poor dear" look... Drives me mad! I am by no means an angry person... But for crying out loud! I've had enough! I would of thought that the fact I ended up in my 'position' of being young and pregnant but decided to step up and take responsibility for my actions, as opposed to terminating, would command at least just the tiniest bit of respect. Clearly I was mistaken I'm sick of it... Sick and tired, and I'm trying to not let it get to me, but 15 months of glares and looks of disapproval have started to wear me thin... And unfortunately the woman today tipped me over the edge and wore the brunt of my frustrations. Ugh, I would have thought that they (the disapproving people) would have gotten used to seeing young mums given the area I bloody well live in (they're EVERYWHERE) Argh... Sorry for the woe is me post, but I'm at the end of my tether and noone else seems to understand!   -------------  My wee girl is the love and light of my life!
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Replies:
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 4:49pm
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Good on you for standing up to her, its none of her business anyway.
------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: jaycee
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 4:54pm
Some baby experts (eg Contented Little Baby) ENCOURAGE you to move to a sippy cup after 6 or 7 months and ENCOURAGE you to totally get rid of the bottle by 1 year!! No one told my DD1 that - she still has a bottle before bed  . It took until Amy was almost 1 to drink water from a sippy cup - drove me mad!
Good on you for having a go - some old ladies have no idea and feel that because they are 'mature' that gives them the right to get into everyones business! -------------   
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Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 4:56pm
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I'm hearing you!!!
I had some old person at the baby factory comment on me being a 'young single mother' behind my back to her friend. I turned around and said 'well actually, I'm 22 and been married 2 years this Dec' to which she replied 'well your too young for that to' Wtf? are you serious? How rude! I strongly dislike presumtuious (sp?) people.  -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: MumsyMoo
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 5:07pm
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Yes! That's the other thing that bugs me...
If you're a young mother, it also seems to be that you must be single too. Well, actually, my DF and I have been together 5, nearly 6 years... And whereas we didn't plan the pregnancy, we weren't going to terminate, just to keep others happy. Ugh - Grinds my friggin' gears it does! ------------- My wee girl is the love and light of my life!
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 5:20pm
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I hear you! I've had old guys look in our trolley at the supermarket and go 'oh, so you're not breastfeeding then?' None of your F*ckin business you old git!
And yes even though most people think I'm older than 22, I always get what I deem as odd looks and I feel like needing to justify myself, you know I'm married and planned on having a baby, I'm not a dropout I'm actually educated and have a bright future, but never mind that. hugs hun, it's frustrating as hell eh?! |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 5:27pm
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Some people will judge you no matter what choices you make eh?
Whichever way you decide to live your life, something will be wrong in their eyes and there is no arguing with them. They are right and they will argue with you about it till the cows come home. People like that always make me lose my rag too, which unfortunately just cements their judgements of me
It is so upsetting when things like that happen and you can't help but be hurt by it, even though some stranger's uninformed opinion shouldn't matter to us at all. I had some awful old cow launch a tirade on me in a cafe when Ella was a few weeks old. I was out for the first time since DH had gone back to work and was about 5 minutes away from my house. She had a go at me for being too young to have a baby or be married, for not breastfeeding (It was expressed milk in a bottle) for using a dummy and for not having a hat on her. I burst into tears too and told her to go f*ck herself. Not my finest moment. I went home feeling like the whole world must think I was a hopeless parent, when a few minutes earlier I'd been feeling awesome for managing to get all dressed and out of the house!  to you. Good on you for standing up to the old b!tch, you so didn't deserve her comments!------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 5:30pm
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I had a run in with a pair of old hags at swimming when the gremlins were little.I normally bite my tongue but I was getting over a tummy bug, my car had been stolen a few days earlier and it was pouring with rain. I completely lost my rag then felt awful about it till I got into Maya's lesson and found out they had been nasty to one of the other mums as well. Then I was glad, silly old biddys! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 5:33pm
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I sooooo hear ya mate!
Im not only young, i LOOK young ,seriously ,when i say i have a six year old i can see them thinking 'gosh...did she have her when she was 10?!" and the comments ive got over the years ,,,man ! Usually if they say something to me i say "im sorry , do i know you ?" "no" "so , therefore , you dont know me...right ?" "no" "so in actual fact, you know absolutely NOTHING , about my life , and yet you think you can sit there and judge me? ...whats that saying, people with closed minds always open there mouths?" by which stage they are just standing there with their mouths open wide gaping at me . Heh, now who looks stupid a? And no, you dont have to respect her, im a firm believer in respect has to be earnt, my grandma (may she rest in peace the beautiful woman) always told me that just because someone is older, or richer than me, they are not any better, and be polite (until you can no longer stand it) but they have to earn your respect . But heres the facts chickenwing, WE on here, and the people your close to , know that despite your age or whatever ,your a good mum, whos tried her best with BF and would do anything for her daughter, and most important ,your daughter knows that her mummy loves her more than anything and would do anything for her . NOW, miss, i want you to read what i said , and i want you to say , "yes, kelly , oh wise wise good looking one ,you are right , i AM a good mum, i DO do my best, and no doddery old lady with too much time on her hands is going to make me feel otherwise " ...ok?  ------------- 
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 5:33pm
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Good on you for standing up to her. I can't believe what people have said to you all - what on earth gives them the right to make comments like that. You sound like you're doing a fantastic job with your wee girl.
And sippy cups are all good, BTW. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 6:15pm
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Good On you for standing up for yourself. Some people...
I had a run in with someone not that long ago but was far to slow to come up with any sort of response. I cant remember exactly what she said but I was walking through the mall with DH and Maddi (not even Keira) and she said something along the lines of 'Thats no way to keep a man by going and getting fat' I know I look young and was pretty young when I had Keira, but I'm now 22 (I know thats still pretty young) and I have been married to DH for over 3 years. There was definatley no way I be so stupid to get pregnant so he wouldnt leave me. I just dont understand how people think they have the right to say something really horrible, especially if they have no facts to back them up. And around here I'm a lot lot older than most of the teenage mums. Gaaah. Serenity you are a great mum so dont let anyone convince you otherwise! They are the idiot not you! Kelly I love your response, must remember it for next time  ------------- 
 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 6:25pm
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woohoo!! good on ya! and let me tell you, it's not just young mums that get comments. old biddys like this will find SOMETHING to tut tut about and if it's not your age, it's you having a child in a pushcahri when he should be walking (he was1), or using a dummy. or not having socks on (when he had thrown them off somewhere down the street).
stupid old ladies! P.S if it's any consolation, in my head, you aren't a "teen mum", in fact, cause I don't think I've seen any pics, i assumed you were the same age as me. hope that doesn't aoffend |
Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 6:35pm
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Serenity, if i had come across that i can tell you, i would have done the same thing. I would have let rip!
Big hugs, it sucks when something like that happens! ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 6:42pm
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Gosh I wish I had been there! ... although I dont think I could have been diplomatic with her either .. so maybe your lucky I wasnt with you ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: kriss
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 6:53pm
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Good on you for sticking up for yourself Serenity
I feel ya though, and I don't even have my baby yet! I'm 20 and happily married and preggy with a totally planned baby. Anyway I always get people googling at my tummy and looking back and forth between DH & I and back at my tummy everywhere we go. I've caught a few whispers but I often turn away and let it go. At Baby Factory a few weeks ago I went in to buy a MB with my mum, and while I was asking questions and asking for demonstrations etc and clearly have a baby bump, the old sales lady was talking directly to my mum and didn't even look at me the whole time.. wtf?? I was the one paying for the dam thing too. It's just so frustrating, and so rude. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
Little Angel, April 10
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 6:55pm
That would only offend me if you were 40!!
Serenity - good on you for sticking up to her. Your little one is 15mos, right? It's the perfect time for a sippy cup and a bit of wanna-be-an-independent-drinker. Don't let old ways and old women get to you!  ------------- |
lizzle wrote:Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 7:01pm
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Serenity your post has got me riled up. F*ck her and f*ck anyone else stupid and shallow enough to pass judgements on other people. I think some people have nothing better to do and if they spend their time picking at and making out that other people have problems I seriously think that they must be very unhappy themselves and trying to detract from their own sad and sour lives (bit of chicken soup psychology for you). I am not a young mum (wish I was sometimes) but I got comments about bottle feeding my baby from 5mo. Funnily enough the rudest comment came from a teen mum who I met in AN classes so there are judgemental people are everywhere and unavoidable. Good on you for putting her in her place. I hope you scoffed at her when she made that "respect your elders" comment - respect is earned not given! Regarding the sippy cup Eden is definitely old enough to have all her milk feeds from one. I wish we'd moved Michaela onto a sippy cup earlier, she turned into quite a bottle addict. Next baby will be going onto a sippy cup from 6mo (as recommended by plunket).
-------------  
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 7:03pm
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kriss, I got that too and I was 27 and had had my niece and nephew live with me part time for awhile (my sis was sick for a couple of years) before we got pregnant so I was hardly a novice. Some people are just idiots! -------------
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Posted By: ellen
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 7:03pm
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Where do people get off passing comment or judgement on other people? I've never come across it myself and am stunned that so many of you have had to deal with it publicly.
How can they not see that they're being destructive to people's confidence and that it's none of their business? They've obviously lead a perfect life and have earned the right to let everyone else know how it's done? Actually they're probably compensating for some mistakes in their own lives by making themselves feel superior. I'm a strong believer in treating people how you'd like to be treated but it gets really hard when people don't treat you the way you treat them! I just hope Karma strikes them. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 7:59pm
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Old people, they really shouldn't be allowed out on their own.
I also don't think being old automatically means you get respect. Oh and some people have no idea how to judge age. I was 27 and heavily pregnant buying something from the electical wholesalers and a guy asked if I was the "after school girl" and "why did I want to be an electrician". He was quite dumbfounded when I told him I was 27 and had been a qualified electrician for 8 years Also, I mean, did he think I was a knocked up school girl or did he just think I was fat ------------- 
 
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Posted By: MumsyMoo
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 8:16pm
Oh, when I said 15 months I was more meaning from the time it was really obvious that I was pregnant. Eden's 8 months old now. Argh, thank you all so much for agreeing with m! I feel much better knowing that other people would have a go at her as well. Phew! I told DF when he got home, as it was still really bugging me... Boy oh boy was he mad. Haha, kinda regretted telling him. Oh... And I'm 20 for those who didn't know... Not that it's a big deal. But yeah. Thanks again guys.. I you all!  ------------- My wee girl is the love and light of my life!
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 8:45pm
| Good on you for letting rip! Hopefully the auld biddy will think twice about expressing her opinion again. |
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 8:59pm
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Don't worry, you have every right to be angry!!. Some people need to realise that just because someone is a young parent, doesn't make them a bad one. Hell there's parents of all ages out there who don't even deserve to have children, yet some people are so eager to judge. Why there is such a stigma attached to being a young parent is beyond me, as once upon a time it was the social norm. Keep you're head up and rest asure in the fact that you're an awesome mum!. ------------- 
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Posted By: Troods
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 9:01pm
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Good on you for standing your ground, Serenity. I don't think 20 is too young to be a mum at all! I'm 28 but am quite petite and look young. Have been married to my DH 8 months but we've been together since I was 18. Our bubs was definitely planned. I exclusively BF but still feel a little self conscious when I BF Emily out in public, wondering what's going on in the heads behind the stares. So I guess you can't please Jo Public, no matter what you do. But I guess you just have to remember they're noboby important, they don't know you, and you know what you're doing is best for you and bubs. I have been trying to get Ems to take a bottle of formula to supplement her evening feeds but she flat out refuses. She's 7 months (5 months corrected being prem) so I might start looking at a sippy cup instead - she occasionally likes to have a little sip of my water out of my cup so I think she's ready for it. ------------- 
Missed MC July 2011
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Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 9:02pm
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Oh my gosh Serenity, that makes me so flippin mad. Grrr. ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 9:05pm
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Fecking heck! What a witch!
I hardly think that a sippy cup at 8 months is going to prevent Eden from becoming a brain surgeon later in life. Honestly. People like that need to go jump! Do they not realise they are doing more damage with their judgements? It only serves to squash any self esteem the parent may have started with! Argh. Chin up mate - you are doing a FAB job
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 9:05pm
Well done Serenity for standing up for yourself. 
Grrr, the old biddy needs to learn she has no right to judge anyone, particularly when she knows nothing about them! ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 9:32pm
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Omigosh, Serenity, your post made me SO MAD too. Where do some people get off judging others?!?? Good on you for ripping into her - had it been me in your situation I would have stared in disbelief and then spent the next week fuming and imagining the things I *should* have said so you are my hero today
Reminds me of when I first started working as a nanny at 19. I used to take the kids (twin babies) out for walks every day and I got SO MANY evil looks. I found it funny after a while, but it's easier to shrug off when you know they're wrong
BTW, nothing at ALL wrong with giving formula in a sippy cup. Would the old witch have preferred you to not feed Eden at all? Sheesh! ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 9:50pm
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20? i was 20 too, and im a good mum, ive never felt any less than a good mum , despite my age, and more important, my daughter knows im a good mum ....anyone else , eg complete strangers, can quite frankly, go jump.
Dont waste your time feeling angry tho, really, she should be pitied, you are going to wake up to your daughter's happy face smiling at her mummy , which is all the proof you need of your mothering skills,...she is going to wake up to , herself, and her high and mighty ordeals. One of my fave quotes comes from that Will Smith song he did for his son , "throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad , let God deal with the things they do , cos hate in your heart will consume you too " ....shes not worth a second of your time hun, she wants to have an attitude like that, thats her problem , i know its frustrating , ive been there....but people like that dont even deserve your anger being spent on them -------------
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 9:55pm
*snort* Thanks for the giggle, I needed that!  ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Neeks
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 10:01pm
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OMG, WTF??? Where do these people get the audacity to say something like that to a random stranger??? Who the f*ck are they to judge??? Damn!!!!
Next time someone makes a brash comment like this I'd state "If I wanted an opinion from an arse... I'd fart"!!!!
Serenity your doing an awesome job with Eden, and no matter how old you are you'll always be her mum. Who cares what some random old hag has to say, she's just bitter and twisted because she ISN'T a fantastic mum like you are ... Big Ups to you hun
I'm 28 and I even get the glares from time to time because I still look young, but the bad thing is... whenever I'm out I usually have a hoard of older kids around me (the eldest being 14) so that looks even worse LOL -------------  
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Posted By: sunnyhoney
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 10:05pm
ROFLMAO...so good Neeks. Will have to remember that one!! ------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |
Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 10:11pm
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Tehehe -------------
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Posted By: Neeks
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 10:16pm
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hehe, i use it alot because there are ALOT of opinionated 'arses' around here -------------
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 10:41pm
Here as in 'OhBaby'? Or here as in Auckland
I must remember it for next time I have a 'heated discussion' with DH
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 10:57pm
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i have been waiting to get eden a highchaire before i give her a sippy cup... so no a sippy at that age is fine, and much better than a bottle i would have thought.
However i am a bit appalled at the comments about "old people". some of you seem to be judging them and making assumptions about them, exactly what you complain they are doing about you. So a bit of double standards going on there... Serenity i am glad you realised that perhaps you may have mishandled it by giving her the finger... Older people grew up differently than us and arent aware of how much bringing up babies has changed so it is our job to educate them i think, but not by yellling at them or being rude. and sometimes when that old man or women in the supermarket makes a comment it is not because they are judging you but rather they may be trying to have a conversation because they live on their own and want some human contact. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: MumsyMoo
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 11:33pm
Ok, that's fine... And I totally agree. What pisses me off is the fact that, they were 17, getting married, having children, how is it any different to a 20 year old nowadays choosing to get married and have children...? Ok, different day and age and all. But still. Why should I have to contend with being lumped into the same category as those so called 'bad young mums' which has apparently, given 'older, wiser' folk the justification and right to spout off? I am a great Mum (there you go Kelly) and I know that. But irrespective of age and upbringing - There is NO excuse for that kind of insult. I don't necessarily agree with the comment about them maybe just wanting to talk to a friend as they might live alone. Bollocks... If you want something to talk about, talk about the bloody weather, or that time the Beatles came to NZ and you were SO excited to see Paul McCartney in real life! There is NOTHING! Not ONE thing that gives anyone the right to put someone else down... Especially if you don't know them. I don't think that these people that give mothers a hard time and who say such horrible negative things really have any idea of how hurtful it can be and just what the implications are. I could be suffering major PND, and her comment may have been the thing that tipped me over the edge... A tad extreme I know. But if it's something you're having to deal with everytime you go out, it could be a reality. To be honest, I'm feeling a little put out by your comment. Almost feel as though you're trying to justify her behaviour, when there, in reality, is absolutely NO excuse for it. Hoping this doesn't start a riot, but... Hey. So be it. ------------- My wee girl is the love and light of my life!
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 11:37pm
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I think you have said it well. -------------
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Posted By: MumsyMoo
Date Posted: 26 September 2008 at 11:42pm
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Oh... And I really don't think much has really changed over the time as far as raising a baby goes...
Just society and technology. ------------- My wee girl is the love and light of my life!
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Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 12:02am
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Those kind of people just need to be ignored - you learn to develop a thick skin after a while. The number of times I've been asked if I'm a nanny - I know I look young (am not that old ) but still - is it that hard to believe I'm a mum?!? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kabe
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 8:18am
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Good on you for sticking up for yourself. I'd like to think that I'd have the guts to do the same (but I suspect I don't!). Hopefully it's given her something to think about. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 8:34am
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 9:16am
ok so you just made an assumption then about what other people did and what they think of you. You dont know if people are looking at you and thinking "oh what a gorgeous baby", or" what a good mum she looks to be", or even " oh i like that soandso, i wonder where i could find one of those". granted some people make rude comments but they are probably just generally rude people anyway. i dont think we should lump all old people in the same basket...the same way you dont want to be lumped into a basket of "bad young mums". Oh and i think that a lot has changed in the way we parent and a lot of it is in how we think and what we are told is acceptable... for example back sleeping never used to be the norm and it was recommended you feed your babies from a very young age... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 9:18am
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oh and also i wonder if now those ladies are going to go and tell their friends about how rude you were to them and therefore perpetuate the whole "rude young mothers" attitude.
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Posted By: MumsyMoo
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 9:25am
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Have you once heard me say that ALL elderly folk are rude and nasty?
No. Have I once commented on ALL the looks I get? No. All I'm commenting on are those that are making BLATANT looks of disapproval. You honestly think that I'm going the believe someone that's looking me up and down, with their eyebrows raised and a quizzical look on their face is going to be standing there thinking "Gosh, what a stunning child"? Bollocks! You can see it all over thier faces! "Hmm, ANOTHER young mum. Pathetic" Sure, people are entitled to their own opinion - But if it's negative, keep it to your f**king self. I will be the FIRST person to smile back and say thank you to anyone who smiles or makes a nice comment about my child and/or I. Argh. ------------- My wee girl is the love and light of my life!
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Posted By: MumsyMoo
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 9:27am
So be it. I don't give a toss. Will she tell her the whole story though and tell them how she mentioned the fact that "oh, they shouldn't let young girls have babies, they don't look after them properly"? Or how she assumed I was lazy because my child was feeding HERSELF. Yeah, somehow I highly doubt that. Stop making excuses for these pathetic people. Just makes me wonder if you're also one to pass judgment quickly like the others I'm talking about. ------------- My wee girl is the love and light of my life!
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 9:30am
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ok, must remember not to look at people with children anymore!
i just dont think we should make assumptions, especially when we dont like assumptions being made about us. and obviously you look younger than your 20 years cause i thought 20 was an average age for people to have babies. and yeah sure if people are rude they get what they deserve but you yourself said you were disappointed in how you handled it. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 9:32am
oh come on!!!! i am not making excuses for people i dont even know... my post was a general comment on how we assume yet dont like assumptions being made about us. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: MumsyMoo
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 9:44am
Ok, that's just immature. I. am. not. assuming. all. looks. are. negative. But I think it's rich that you say we shouldn't assume. Granted you've assumed I'm talking about all the looks Eden and I get. Granted you've [I/]assumed that we all think poorly of the elderly. To be frank I don't even know why I'm bothering trying to justify myself. I shouldn't have to. I love how you've always got to have the last say too... Very admirable. ------------- My wee girl is the love and light of my life!
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 9:57am
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oh ok heres another "last say"...
a wink is supposed to say "dont take that comment seriously"... i was not assuming you think all people think badly about you... you are not the only person who has posted here and i have read comments like some old ladies have no idea and old people shouldnt be allowed out on their own so you see you have also made assumptions about me. and for the record i never commented on the old lady who was rude to you, never defended her and didnt disagree with you about her. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: MumsyMoo
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 10:04am
If you say so. I'm out. Can't be bothered anymore. You clearly don't see where I'm coming from at all. Too caught up in your own theories and your own thoughts to even try to understand. ------------- My wee girl is the love and light of my life!
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 10:33am
your wrong. you were attacked, you attacked back. as is your right. i get there are some rude people out there who will make judgments on you and your parenting, no matter what you do (you as in any parent) and will comment on why they think you are wrong. They dont have the right, they would probably only be making assumptions. but i was not commenting on the lady who attacked you, clearly it was none of their business. i was making comment however on making assumptions about "old people" or on people we assume are making judgments on us. Not all older people are the same and just as you dont want to be tarred with the same brush neither should they be. actually tho part of what you say is true, i am not a younger mum so will never really get where you are coming from in that respect ... but i think mums of all ages face criticism and assumptions and rude comments about their parenting style. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 10:51am
Have to agree with Bizzy on this one, doesn't matter what age you are people are always going to pass comment on your parenting skills. Its a national pastime. It comes down to whether you retaliate or ignore it. Each to their own I guess. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: MumsyMoo
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 11:06am
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I agree too... And I never once said that other mothers aren't criticised.
But I do think there is a difference between criticising and being rude and disrespectful. Am I wrong? See, just going back to yesterday. If she had said something like "goodness, back in my day children never fed themselves from a sippy cup at that age" I could handle that... But the fact that she called me lazy and then told me that she couldn't understand why they let 'young girls' have children..? Not cool at all. I think her words deserved to be fought against. And I'm the first person to admit that I was wrong in taking it as far as I did by pulling the finger and telling her where to stick it. I'm not for one minute insinuating that you think what she did was right God no... ------------- My wee girl is the love and light of my life!
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 11:14am
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Back to the original point of this thread, you are right Serenity that noone should make hurtful comments, it is not their place. I think Bizzy that is what a lot of us are saying, and I'm pretty sure the comments like 'old people shouldn't be allowed out on their own' etc were meant as humour (well I took it as that... thanks for the chuckle cuppatea )
And Serenity does not look younger than 20, you're assuming that. 20 is not an average age to have a child, it is quite young (I was 21) but is definitely not teen mum status and like Ren said, back in the day it was the norm to get married young and have kids and now it seems that it is 'bad' and therefore those that have been there done that seem to think they have the right to pass negative judgements. And like others, I'm all for positive comments and talking to elderly people at the supermarket about my child, but it is noone's business how I choose to feed my child and I am not going to let someone make comments about it because of their personal beliefs. Sheesh, long post sorry! I would hope though that regardless of age, *most* people on here have the maturity to realise the posters in this thread aren't condemning *all* older people. I mean come on that's just ridiculous. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 11:56am
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No I really meant it, they shouldn't be allowed out on their own
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 12:20pm
Haha, my nanny is Brazilian and has the same olive skin as my girls so she often gets funny looks when she takes them all out as she's not that old. Sometimes even when we're out together people assume they're hers coz I'm kinda white ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 1:32pm
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You ladies aren't even arguing within the same argument!
Serenity: that lady was horrible and mean. Deb: no we shouldn't generalise about old people... which I don't actually think Serenity was. I agree with both of you... so that's enough yeah?
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Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 1:49pm
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Hiya Serenity
I think fickle attitudes in general are on the rise towards FFing, it used to be just another way to feed your baby but now it can be some how construed as neglectful and even offensive. Which is particularly sad when people like myself and yourself have genuine reasons and struggled with BFing. To go off on a little tangent of my own here. My Mum is a very "older generation pro-BFer" and when I said when I was pregnant that some women just don't produce breast milk and have supply problems, she scoffed at me and told me that was the stupidest thing she had ever heard. She had to sit through watching me basically pumping for triplets on medication etc and produce ZIP, she has never uttered another against word on the subject. Instead I heard "It's lucky you had a fall back, you did the best you could" which was awesome. To stoke a fire, IMO it is a generational thing, cantankerous attitudes towards youth is out there, I don't know how many times I have heard in the past 2.4 years "Oh I hope your not one of these airy fairy parents that wont smack their kid" (another argument) and generalizing is a sh*t load better IMO than saying "all old geezers" as it is a select number that just ruin it for the rest. Another tangent: I have a friend who is younger than me and saw everything I sat through and still has to tell me every time the subject comes up "Well, you will just have to try harder to BF next time" which cuts deep. Some people (shocking, another generalization) just get a bug stuck in their brain and refuse to believe anything else. Life is too damn short for them though ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 2:05pm
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The odd thing is far more of my friends have ff fed their kids than bf, so for me ff seems inevitable.
Serenity I'm not sure there is much difference between being rude and disrespectful and criticising they seem much the same to me. As I said in my first post, good on you for sticking up to her. Nobody has the right to speak to you like that, ever. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: RunningT
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 2:37pm
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Interesting discussion here....My two cents...
I am a little sick of the fact that so many people seems to have an opinion which is given to you when you are pregnant. Re your size, what you are eating, the pram you require, how breast feeding is the only lawful way to feed a child, that names you have choosen suck and that drugs or drug free child births are the only option.... Ie I was told "wow your bump is small" and "God you are huge" in the same day by people who had no idea how pregnant I was... perhaps it's just people making conversation however it kinda guts me. How hard is it for people to say "how are you getting on.. how is everything going?" if they want to make conversation... Now my key take outs from this thread have been two fold... 1. If I wanted an opinion from an @rse hole I would have farted.. Don't think I would ever be able to say this but it made me giggle and... 2. Sorry do I know you.. cause you don't know me or anything about my circumstances....so you probably aren't placed to pass comments on my life. And to finish... God I need a glass of wine... am I a bad mother for dreaming about alcohol and hanging out for my glass of bubbles on Christmas Day... roll on any opinions about that one ------------- 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 4:00pm
LOL I think that means you are a normal mother. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: happymumma
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 8:00pm
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Serenity good on you for sticking up for yourself (even if you feel like you went a bit too far in the end!!!). I don't think I'd be brave enough - would probably just slink home and cry. I've been FF since Ollie was two weeks old and I'm still waiting for the day someone tries to tell me I'm not doing the best for my child.
Bottom line...you're the mum which means you get to make the decisions and if your child is happy and healthy then you must be doing the right things. |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 9:12pm
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GOOD ON YOU!!!! I would have probably done the same thing!
I havent had anything like that so far, although most people think I am 16!! I am actually 26 in December! man why cant people keep their snotty ass opinions to themselves!!!! that has right pissed me off!! ------------- |
Posted By: josephnia
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 9:35pm
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[QUOTE=RunningT] I
Ie I was told "wow your bump is small" and "God you are huge" in the same day by people who had no idea how pregnant I was... perhaps it's just people making conversation however it kinda guts me. How hard is it for people to say "how are you getting on.. how is everything going?" if they want to make conversation... When I was pregnant I was working in a gym and one of the member's who hadn't seen me for a while came up to me and said 'you look different somehow, have you got taller?' - after getting so many you're huge, you're tiny comments this really made me laugh and made my day -------------  
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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 2:41pm
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i just wrote a really long post then lost it!
some people are so rude! good on you for standing up to them and as for them saying " have more respect for the elders" perhaps they should learn you have to show respect to get respect! good on you !! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |