Insensitive MALES!
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22064
Printed Date: 26 September 2025 at 3:44pm
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Topic: Insensitive MALES!
Posted By: mamanee
Subject: Insensitive MALES!
Date Posted: 30 October 2008 at 12:44pm
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Ok, so my friend came with me to do my grocery shopping yesterday, he's a single, 23 year old man with no children.
This is a piece of the conversation we had. Him: I'm not surprised you didn't breastfeed, looking in your trolley, it's full of sugar, Sam would have had a sugar overdose. Me: Umm, excuse me! Should I take the coke bottle out of the trolley, I only got it because you were coming over. I thought I was being nice, but I'll put it back if you like.. (I had fruit, meat, bread, milk and yoghurt in my trolley at that stage, and the bottle of coke) Him: I was only joking, maybe I should watch what I say around you.. *laughing* Me: Maybe you should.. FIVE MINUTES LATER I'm putting some rocky road flavoured muffin bars in my trolley. Him: Maybe you should choose something more nutritious. Me: Maybe you should just let me get on with my shopping Him: I was only saying that some of them are full of sugar and you could choose something better for Sam Me: It really annoys me when people tell me how to parent, I make the decisions because it's my money and my child. (throws tiny teddy biscuits in the trolley while giving him the evil eye) Him: Hmmph. FIVE MINUTES LATER IN THE CAR Me: I want to let you know that breastfeeding is often a sensitive subject for women and it is for me because I was unable to breastfeed Sam and I feel bad enough as it is without someone making rude jokes and comments about it. So please in future could you refrain from crossing that line, because it upsets me. Him: I was only joking, you should get over it already. Me: Hey, just so you know, when I was growing up, my mum never stood up for herself and when someone offended her or said something she didn't like, she would say nothing and it would upset her even more because she would stew over it for days. I promised myself that I would stand up for myself and if something has upset me I will nicely tell that person that it has upset me. Him: Oh, well were the people upsetting your mum actually being rude, or were they just telling an innocent joke like I was.. *steam starts to come out of my ears* If he was the father of my child and we were doing the shopping and he made suggestions about what I was putting in the trolley and he was contributing, then I could understand, but he is just a friend.. and he crossed a line. 
Sorry for the rant! |
Replies:
Posted By: Spirals
Date Posted: 30 October 2008 at 12:59pm
| I think I'd have whacked him over the head with the packet of rocky road muffin bars and left him to bloody walk home!! |
Posted By: DzinerGirl
Date Posted: 30 October 2008 at 1:00pm
| Totally agree with your rant! IMO what the heck would he know! And I wouldn't have taken those comments as "innocent jokes" either |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 30 October 2008 at 1:15pm
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Grr, people can be so judgemental!
Try not to take it personally though, it sounds as if he just won't understand how upsetting he was being no matter how clearly you explain it to him. Hopefully good old karma will come back and bite him one day and he'll have some ignorant person come up and harangue him about the foods he's choosing for his children. Maybe then his words to you will come back to haunt him, lol! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 30 October 2008 at 2:00pm
OMG can I come shopping with you?? You buy yummy stuff! ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: pomikiwi
Date Posted: 30 October 2008 at 2:47pm
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Men!!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
DD-Carys Amelia 17.03.06 |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 30 October 2008 at 3:00pm
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um i couldnt see what was so bad about it. hes right those muffin breaks arent really kids snacks.
maybe next time i am out with my sister i wont be so picky about what shes putting in her trolley! |
Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 30 October 2008 at 4:14pm
I just don't think he has the right to comment about what I am putting in my trolley when it's my money and my child. I would never DARE comment about what someone is putting in their trolley and I found it very rude. Those muffin breaks were actually for me, but he just assumed that I was going to feed them to Sam. Anyway, if I wanted to feed him a whole box of them in one sitting it would be my business (I wouldn't do that). I guess it would be different if you were commenting about a family members shopping but I don't think he had the right. |
Bizzy wrote:Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 30 October 2008 at 4:25pm
| Gosh... I'd never do that. Even if I felt really compelled to say something (if your wee boy rolled along rather than walking, and I'd seen you time after time piling up the trolley with treats for him or something, which is obviously not the case) I'd think of a more tactful way to do it! That's just rude. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 30 October 2008 at 4:26pm
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maybe he was just really comfortable with you.
we brought those same muffin break bars this week too, i thought they were the choc ones cause they are hubbys faves... i think whats ruder is him assuming... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 30 October 2008 at 4:30pm
I actually think that you're right on that one. He is very comfortable with me, and we've been friends since we were 17 at Polytech so I don't think he stops to consider what could be taken as insensitive. |