Insensitive MALES!

Ok, so my friend came with me to do my grocery shopping yesterday, he's a single, 23 year old man with no children.

This is a piece of the conversation we had.

Him: I'm not surprised you didn't breastfeed, looking in your trolley, it's full of sugar, Sam would have had a sugar overdose.

Me: Umm, excuse me! Should I take the coke bottle out of the trolley, I only got it because you were coming over. I thought I was being nice, but I'll put it back if you like.. (I had fruit, meat, bread, milk and yoghurt in my trolley at that stage, and the bottle of coke)

Him: I was only joking, maybe I should watch what I say around you.. *laughing*

Me: Maybe you should..

FIVE MINUTES LATER

I'm putting some rocky road flavoured muffin bars in my trolley.

Him: Maybe you should choose something more nutritious.

Me: Maybe you should just let me get on with my shopping

Him: I was only saying that some of them are full of sugar and you could choose something better for Sam

Me: It really annoys me when people tell me how to parent, I make the decisions because it's my money and my child.    (throws tiny teddy biscuits in the trolley while giving him the evil eye)

Him: Hmmph.

FIVE MINUTES LATER IN THE CAR

Me: I want to let you know that breastfeeding is often a sensitive subject for women and it is for me because I was unable to breastfeed Sam and I feel bad enough as it is without someone making rude jokes and comments about it. So please in future could you refrain from crossing that line, because it upsets me.

Him: I was only joking, you should get over it already.

Me: Hey, just so you know, when I was growing up, my mum never stood up for herself and when someone offended her or said something she didn't like, she would say nothing and it would upset her even more because she would stew over it for days.   I promised myself that I would stand up for myself and if something has upset me I will nicely tell that person that it has upset me.

Him: Oh, well were the people upsetting your mum actually being rude, or were they just telling an innocent joke like I was..

*steam starts to come out of my ears*

If he was the father of my child and we were doing the shopping and he made suggestions about what I was putting in the trolley and he was contributing, then I could understand, but he is just a friend.. and he crossed a line.    

Sorry for the rant!

Edited by neeandsam

Totally agree with your rant! IMO what the heck would he know! And I wouldn't have taken those comments as "innocent jokes" either

OMG can I come shopping with you??  You buy yummy stuff!

um i couldnt see what was so bad about it. hes right those muffin breaks arent really kids snacks.
maybe next time i am out with my sister i wont be so picky about what shes putting in her trolley!

Gosh... I'd never do that. Even if I felt really compelled to say something (if your wee boy rolled along rather than walking, and I'd seen you time after time piling up the trolley with treats for him or something, which is obviously not the case) I'd think of a more tactful way to do it! That's just rude.

Bizzy wrote: maybe he was just really comfortable with you. we brought those same muffin break bars this week too, i thought they were the choc ones cause they are hubbys faves... i think whats ruder is him assuming...

I actually think that you're right on that one. He is very comfortable with me, and we've been friends since we were 17 at Polytech so I don't think he stops to consider what could be taken as insensitive.