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Lilly220363
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Joined: 28 February 2017
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Topic: surrogacy after 4 MCs Posted: 28 February 2017 at 8:11am |
Girls, I came here to find help and support. It happened so that I can’t carry a baby. I have 4 miscarriages and I don’t think I will be able to cope with another one, because it’s so hard and so unbearable, I feel miserable and I feel ashamed in front of my husband. All of my friends are happy, they have kids. They have everything! And here I am who can’t even carry my own child. Doctors said they don’t know the reason and advised us to try ART. I don’t want to waste time and I’m looking for a good clinic. But I’m so scared. I receive absolutely no support from my husband. I read here, how girls are grateful to their families, to their lovely husbands. I have completely different situation. My husband blames me openly, he says this all is my fault and I do something wrong and my family is on his side. My mother told me, that all women in our family have an amazing health and no one ever had problems with carrying their children. I try to calm myself and save my marriage. I just really hope that everything will change, when we’ll find clinic and deep into the process of surrogacy. And in the result we’ll have happy relationships and our little baby.
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Dia218655
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Joined: 22 December 2016
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Posted: 28 February 2017 at 8:58am |
I’m so sorry you receive no support in such difficult moment of your life. It’s terrible, that your family and your husband behave in such a way, this is not your fault! It’s good you found the strength and you don't give up. You made a right thing coming here! Who can support you better than women, who know how it feels, when you can’t give birth. I was also worrying, that my husband will leave me for another woman, who will be able to carry children. Probably someone would say “Leave him! Why do you need a husband like him?” But I love my husband. And I’m sure you love yours. Men are such creatures, they think not like we do in such situation. I should tell you that after we had surrogacy, my husband was changed completely! He shows me his love all the time, he love our son and he is so grateful, even considering the fact, that there was a surrogate mother who carried and gave birth to our child. So I truly believe and hope that everything will change in your family and your husband will change his behavior! By the way, Lily, have you already started your search of a clinic?
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Lilly220363
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Joined: 28 February 2017
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Posted: 28 February 2017 at 9:25am |
Thank you so much for your supportive words. Your story helped me to calm down a little and inspired me to continue the fight for my happiness. You are right, my friends continue to repeat ‘Your husband doesn't deserve you, leave him, find a good man, who knows how to treat his woman right!’ I’m so tired of this, I love my husband and I want to build a family with him! Moreover, who knows how their husbands would behave in such situation! Because as you’ve said their opinion completely differs from ours. I’m happy for your marriage and I hope mine will be changed as well. I’m looking for clinic and I’ve already contacted some UK and USA clinics. Prices are huge! Actually I don’t think we can afford it. I asked my father to borrow some money, but when he heard how I want to spend them, he refused and told me not to be dumb and whether try to conceive a baby with my husband or forget about having kids. But I can’t neither first nor second! So I’m thinking about a loan. Dee, which clinic did you have surrogacy? How much did you pay?
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Dia218655
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Posted: 28 February 2017 at 9:35am |
It makes me happy that my story inspires people! We’ve also considered UK as well as India and Russia. In case of UK, not only price scared us away, but their law ‘The surrogate mother remains the legal mother of the child.’ By the way, Russian legislation has the same law. We were about to go to India and we contacted their clinic and arrange our meeting with their doctor. But then we saw a video on youtube about woman, who experienced surrogacy in this clinic. She told there horrible things! She told that despite of fast finding of surrogate mother, the clinic does minimum check of them and take women with diabetes and obesity in surrogacy programs. And it was not the first time we’ve seen such review! So we canceled our meeting immediately and started to look for another European clinic. And one of them caught our eye, Ukrainian clinic BioTexCom. The reviews about it were different, but most of them were positive. And also their price is lower than in other countries. We paid 39 900 euro for like everything, starting from oocyte donation and finishing with all needed documents. We were met at the airport, provided with comfortable apt and food. We had a manager, who translated everything. They even provided us with smartphones with Ukrainian phone numbers to ease our communication. They have packages for their services, so you can choose the most suitable for you. You can find more details on their website or contact a program coordinator, who will answer all your questions. We contacted them a couple of times and they answered really fast, so you won’t have to wait for days or weeks.
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Lilly220363
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Joined: 28 February 2017
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Posted: 28 February 2017 at 11:10am |
Never heard about this law! Sounds strange...I don't want some woman to leave my child to herself. I think nobody wants. Thanks for telling! How much did taxi, translator services and accommodation cost you? And did you paid all sum of money at once? I'm a little bit afraid to give all amount of money right away...
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Dia218655
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Posted: 28 February 2017 at 11:38am |
The cost of taxi, translator services and accommodation is already included into the package. So there were no extra payments at all. The whole amount of money was divided into 5 parts. It was nice because we didn't have all sum to pay right away. We had time to collect and give away each part during each of our visits. Also you can transfer money on their account if it suits you more. Of course we were also little bit afraid to pay all sum at once, especially considering the fact how much scammers and fraudsters out there.
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Lilly220363
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Posted: 28 February 2017 at 11:46am |
Sounds good! It seems the clinic considered everything for comfort of their foreign clients. Where there other couples? Maybe they told you something about their procedures and impressions? How long did it take for the clinic to find surrogate mother for you? I know then you can wait for months and years in some countries. I'm ready to wait, I'm just not sure if my husband does...
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Dia218655
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Posted: 28 February 2017 at 11:55am |
There were other couples, from different countries. All of them had their own manager, who spoke their language and translated everything for them. We’ve spoken with a couple from USA. They came on a planned ultrasound. Actually it was one more reason, which convinced us to sign a contract with the clinic. There were a lot of people there. Not only couples, but also women, who came to do necessary tests for programs of surrogacy and egg donation. Ukrainian women are really very beautiful! And the clinic chooses girls for the programs very carefully. We had been waiting in queues for a couple of hours, but I can’t say that it’s a drawback. Seeing all those couples only ensured us that it is not a fraud. The clinic found SM for us in 2 months. We thought it will take much longer. So when the program coordinator contacted us in 7 weeks after our first visit and told us this great news, we were shocked and pleasantly surprised! We didn't expect it will be so fast.
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Lilly220363
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Joined: 28 February 2017
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Posted: 28 February 2017 at 12:01pm |
Yes, you are absolutely right! These long lines tell a lot about clinic and its professionalism in the activity. Two months for search of surrogate mother is really fast! Were they informing you about the condition of the surrogate mother and the child? Were there problems with registration of the child? I’ve heard about a lot of cases, when there were problems with registration and taking child back to the parent’s country. Sometimes it comes to trial. We really don’t want to start our parenting from courts and litigation.
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Dia218655
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Posted: 28 February 2017 at 12:06pm |
I’ve also heard about such cases! Thanks our clinic, the procedure was easy. We had no problems with documents and registration of our son. The clinic took over registration and certification of all needed documents. Also they helped with birth certificate and passport for the child to leave the country. Also the clinic provided all information about condition of the surrogate mother and the child. They'd been contacting us one time per month minimum.
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Lilly220363
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Joined: 28 February 2017
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Posted: 28 February 2017 at 12:16pm |
Such a relief! It's nice to hear this! Thank you so much for your help! Where did your SM live? With you or in the clinic? We don't know what to do... On the one hand I want my baby be by my side. On the other hand I think moving SM to our country will cause many troubles and additional expenses. And did the clinic provide you with accommodation during all your visits? Or it was only one-time service? And the biggest and the most important question - what about war? Is it safe to go there? We don't know much about war in Ukraine. But people say now is not the right time to go there... We like this clinic. It seems very suitable for us. But situation there put us on guard...
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Dia218655
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Posted: 28 February 2017 at 12:22pm |
I'm glad to help! So please ask whatever you need) I understand how it's important to talk with someone who've seen everything with their own eyes. Little more than one year ago I was in your hide. Thanks to ladies with experience in surrogacy I made my choice) So I want to be this lady for such girls, as I was) Our SM lived with her family during the whole program. All of surrogate mothers have their own kids. It would be cruel to take them away from their beloved ones. I think it is better for them to live with their families. In such way they feel comfortable. They don't worry about their loved ones. The fewer their worries are the better for our child)) The clinic provided us with housing during all our visits. There was no extra spending. Speaking about war, it takes place in the east part of Ukraine. It is absolutely safe in Kiev. So you shouldn't be worried about this)
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Lilly220363
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Posted: 28 February 2017 at 12:48pm |
I'm so grateful for all this info! I don't know what would've I done without your help! The war was the only reason to reject Ukraine. I'm happy to hear this's safe in Kiev. But of course I hope it will be safe all over Ukraine very soon! I will contact the clinic today. As soon as we'll receive their reply, we'll start to pack our luggage) I'm both very excited and nervous, but I believe in the best!
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luduan
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Joined: 17 March 2017
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Posted: 17 March 2017 at 11:04pm |
Dear Lilly, This is a pity situation and we can help you to cope with it. Dont be afraid. We are the IVMED Fertility Centre which is located in Ukraine, Kiev, our prices are normal and averything is done carefully. For more information contact us at contact@ivmed.com.ua
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lenabr199848
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Posted: 22 April 2017 at 12:34am |
Are you searching a new clinic only cos of mcs? If so, would you consider doing pgs ngs, that is usually recommended for women who have experienced mcs or at advanced maternal age?
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rose224549
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Posted: 17 July 2017 at 5:46am |
Lilly220363 wrote:
Girls, I came here to find help and support. It happened so that I can’t carry a baby. I have 4 miscarriages and I don’t think I will be able to cope with another one, because it’s so hard and so unbearable, I feel miserable and I feel ashamed in front of my husband. All of my friends are happy, they have kids. They have everything! And here I am who can’t even carry my own child. Doctors said they don’t know the reason and advised us to try ART. I don’t want to waste time and I’m looking for a good clinic. But I’m so scared. I receive absolutely no support from my husband. I read here, how girls are grateful to their families, to their lovely husbands. I have completely different situation. My husband blames me openly, he says this all is my fault and I do something wrong and my family is on his side. My mother told me, that all women in our family have an amazing health and no one ever had problems with carrying their children. I try to calm myself and save my marriage. I just really hope that everything will change, when we’ll find clinic and deep into the process of surrogacy. And in the result we’ll have happy relationships and our little baby. | Hello, Lilly. I'm sad to hear this, But I need you to be strong and full of hope. Everything is possible, We just need a cup of hope to make it true. I would like to give you a couple of advices. First, Don't look to those who have children, You don't know if they are really happy or not. They might have problems with their children, That they don't want to tell the others about it. I don't say to lose hope, All I mean is to try and thank God for everything. Second, I have tried a clinic named "Biotexcom" in Kiev, Ukraine. From my point of view, This is the best clinic I have ever seen. They have the best professionals in Europe, And the clinic is Categorized as one of the best clinics in Europe. I won't lie if I say I saw it the best in the world. The clinic is ISO certified so it meets your expectations, And guarantee the best services for you. It provides transportation, accommodation and food for free, So you won't worry about anything. You just need to provide a proof that your health doesn't allow to make you pregnant (May be a paper from your doctor). The atmosphere there is amazing, There are a lot of green surfaces which means a fresh non-polluted air. Finally, I'm sorry for writing too much, But I strongly recommend that you go to this clinic. I hope you will be at your best.
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Wikq225913
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Joined: 18 September 2017
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Posted: 20 September 2017 at 11:45pm |
Yes, my sister and I also recently flew in Biotexcom. Yes, I can confirm your words, the clinic is really of European level. But my sister was looking for a country in which surrogate motherhood is regulated by law in favor of genetic parents. Because she spent a very long time deciding on a surrogate maternity. After all, this is not a simple matter that requires careful selection of the clinic, the collection of funds, the drafting of a proper legal agreement with the motherhood. Of course, all these problems are not great provided that you find a good clinic. And if you make the wrong choice, then all these problems will fall on your shoulders. My sister was very nervous and when we flew to Kiev, it seemed to me that she would lose consciousness from nerves. But we arrived at night, but we could not fall asleep because of my sister. She was still nervous, but when we came to the clinic she became calmer.We flew to Kiev three together: I, my sister and my sister's husband. The husband of my sister stopped talking to her on the plane. Because she was so nervous and panicked and constantly talking. We could not stand her any longer, and stopped talking to her. Oh, but it did not help us. In general, when we came to the clinic, she was finally silent, as we were happy. I did not go to the doctor with them, I waited for them in the corridor. The corridors in the clinic are quite bright, there are sofas and there are fresh flowers, you feel comfortable enough. There I met one man from England. He told me the story of their trip. He and his wife came to do IVF in Ukraine. Because the price for them was in priority and they thought that it is possible to make the IVF procedure cheaper than in England.I read a lot that some married couples are looking for a surrogate mother on the Internet. My sister did not do this, they picked up a good surrogate mother in the clinic. They were given a base to choose from. It turns out that all these women have already been interviewed and they already have all the necessary tests. They liked one of the women, she was 27 years old and she already had 2 children. It was a surprise to us that the doctors spoke English, the language barrier was completely absent. The staff of the clinic treated us with respect and attention. I can also note that the rooms in the clinic are very bright, the furniture is new. We thought that in Ukraine the service is poorly developed, but it turned out the other way around. In the clinic, the lawyers helped to draft and sign the contract. And they also decided that a surrogate mother would live in Ukraine. And we will go home, they will communicate remotely. But such conditions are arranged by both sides. The clinic was also told that they put all the problems and worries on their shoulders.
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JolySr226282
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Posted: 03 October 2017 at 11:47pm |
Hello. Your husband should change his behavior. He should understand that stress doesn't influence your reproduction system in a positive way. If you are still TTC you have to walk a lot, eat helthy food and spend a lot of time together. If he really wants to become a father he should understand that you need a positive atmosphere. Women are so sensitive when they are trying to get pregnant. Men just don't understand this. Are you sure that he is ready to be a father? He is behaving not so good. You have to be sure that he will love your future baby. You will need a lot of support and help when the baby is born. I think you should talk to him and ask him if he is ready to be responsible for you and your baby. I was also TTC for years but I didn't get pregnant. My mother was trolling me all the time. She said that we have to adopt. She didn't approve our idea to use the surrogacy. She was always saying that it is dangerous and unnatural. But I really appreciate my husband. He has done a lot to get a baby for us. He visited a lot of medical centers and talked to hundreds of doctors. When he found the best one, we had to go abroad to start the examinations. All the examinations, embryo transfer and etc took a couple of months. When we found out that our surrogate is pregnant I couldn't believe. It was really strange to see an outside woman being pregnant with my baby. But I forgot it all when I saw our son. He was so tiny and nice smelling. We brought him home in 1 month after the delivery. We were afraid of flying with him so we spent more time in Ukraine. I will never regret that we've chosen the surrogacy. And I'm sure we will do it again. I hope my story helped you to make a choice.
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Alicia219545
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Posted: 22 November 2017 at 10:29am |
I'm so sorry we have to go through all this... Infertility is such a bitch. Though we are currently in our surrogacy program and our sm is pregnant, I'll never forget what we've gone through. We were TTC for 8 years. I had 3 MCs and unbearable pain hit my heart after each loss. I can't believe that we'll have a baby soon. I ask myself "Can that possibly be true? Or am I dreaming?" I still remember that feeling of emptiness and hopelessness when friends or colleagues were telling me they are pregnant. When everyone around were asking me why I DO NOT WANT to have kids. I want to say to all of you guys, don't give up and keep going! The only thing which matters is our desire to become parents!
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luha226083
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Joined: 23 September 2017
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Posted: 13 November 2018 at 3:57am |
Yes, Wikq I completely agree with you, I'm sorry that I answer you too late. This is really a very good clinic with high ratings, known all over the world. A surrogate of my friends is now pregnant thanks to this clinic. They are so happy, because he dreamed of a child all his life. Now, we all hope that her pregnancy will be successful. My friends are already beginning to invent names for the future baby. It's so nice to watch them, the feelings that my friends are experiencing now.
Edited by luha226083 - 13 November 2018 at 3:58am
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