The evil stepmum thread..

Thought I might start a thread in support of evil stepmothers........
I am really struggling at the mo with being a stepmum to a 14 year old boy, as well as a mum to a bubba. Sometimes, its like having 2 babies in the house.
I catch myself wondering is love is enough sometimes.

Who else is a step parent and how do you all cope?

Here is my situation

Partner to Rod for 3 years. Mum to jacob, 9 months. 14 year old stepson. We differ alot in our parenting styles, I am WAAAYYY stricter and have higher expectations than Rod, although, in saying that, I don't think manners are too much to ask...

Keen to hear from others..


Edited by jacobsmama

im not a step mum but i am a step child, just ride it out if he acts like a baby treat him like a baby he has to respect you , you make his dad happy and your part of the package (i learnt that the hard way)
good luck

im not a stepmum im the opposite, ny ex is the one that married so caitlyn has a stepmum-but luckily for me (and caitlyn) i really like angela, she makes caitlyns dad happy, she loves and is great with caitlyn and shes just a nice person all round.... i dont know what ur stepkids natural mums think but i know that i am always grateful that chris made such a good choice and from what ive seen u 2 are nice on to it ladies and so the kids parents,and ur partners should admire what uve done...it would have been easy to just walk away once u found out they had kid/s -choosing an easier life over one with them, but u didnt- i know i admire it with angela, so i think they should all admire it with u
Sorry this isnt really a evil stepmother rant is it?quite the opposite really -whoops my bad lol

Yep, I'm another 'evil stepmum'. So evil in fact that Mona told her CYFS social worker that I starve her, hit her and that Willie and I have sex in front of her. Oh the imagination of a 12-year old when she is trying to get herself out of trouble (she had been stood down from school for fighting and was trying to put the blame back on me).

So I can definitely relate! Mona does have some pretty deep-seated issues tho, she has been assessed by child behaviour specialists and neurologists etc. but I sometimes find it pretty har going to keep my cool and remember that she is the child - sometimes I can't help but fly off the handle at her as she is 100% rude and disrespectful to me. Liek Gsmum I have tried to be a good stepmum, thrown birthday parties for her, held her hand when she has gone under general anasthetic for ear surgery, and been a mother-figure to her since she was 6 years old (her birth mother is brain damaged). And what do I get in return? All of the above, plus a kick in the stomach when I was 8 mths pregnant with Maya.

She now lives in New PLymouth with her brother and cousins on a farm and is doing really well there, I think the rural settin and working on the farm etc has been really good for her.

?????da f**k guys! stuff that-makes me REALLY admire u, wow.
Hope to God i have never given Angela that kind of grief!
And as for jacob being only his half brother!grrr i know hes only a kid himself but jeez! caitlyn has a "half" brother but ive always said to her that sams her brother-none of this half crap, even tho they are.
Hope it hits ur stepkids one day how lucky they are and how much worse they could have had it sh*te!

!!!!!!OMG!!!!!!!!!!

Yep, being a mum is a piece of cake in comparison to being a stepmum! There's so many 'issues' that stepkids have due to relationship breakdowns etc. In MOna's case it was really not helped by her birth mothers family constantly allowing her to push the boundaries (like wander around the streets after dark at age 10) which makes me look like a tyrant because I don't think that's acceptable behavior.
Soooo nice to know I'm not the only one, and Caitlynsmygirl - i too live in hope that one day Mona will grow up and realise how much I have invested in her and how much cr*p she has given me in return.

We sure do!
I also knew that Willie had 'responsibilities' when I met him - he was a solo dad to Mona since she was 7 weeks old, and I basically took over the role of mother from very early in our relationship. I honestly think a lot of Mona's issues stem from having to 'share' her Dad - first with me, and now with Maya as well. She loves Maya to bits, but since Maya was born my relationship with Mona has gone from bad to worse.

Willie also has three sons from previous relationships, one of whom is a full-blooded brother to Mona. He is also a troubled kid yet he has alwys treated me 100% with respect and never allowed Mona to disrespect me in his presence (he is 5 years older than Mona). The next son up has his own issues too as his mother died when he was very young, and we have had our ups and downs, but now we can communicate pretty well as adults. He was 15 when Willie and I met so going thru the whole "teenage" thing. I've never tried to be a 'mother' to the boys as such as they are pretty close to my own age, and were that much older when Willie and I met, whereas Mona was only 6.
Willie's oldest son lives in Australia, Willie hasn't seen him since he was 2 and so I've never met him either. His mothers choice. He's 25 now, We have spoken to him on the phone a few times, and he knows where to find us, but has never shown any interest in getting to know his Dad.

You chicks are amazing. I SERIOUSLY would not cope if my stepchildren were like that. I guess knowing them from such a young age helps - and the fact that when they are with us they know boundaries (debatable if that goes on at their mothers place though). And also, they are too young to be acting out just yet (9 1/2 and 5 1/2).