Single Parents UNITE!

Babe wrote: There are definitely guys out there who will take on a readymade family and love them unconditionally - I know coz I found one He thinks my stretchmarks are fascinating BTW and while he can be grumpier with Jake now we have Tyler its not coz he differentiates, its coz we're all tired.

good i will hold on to that one

RachandJack have you started the ball rolling?  You can do it you know - if you're strong enough to be a great single parent then you are strong enough to step out on your own.

I've been a single parent for about 6 months now.  I left my ex husband when my DD was 5 weeks old.  I knew it was over several months prior to that but had thought I could manage to bumble along for another year or so.  In hindsight I'm so glad I didn't!  So I currently live with my two littlies in the house that we jointly own.  He sees the children three times a week (when he doesn't have a cold!) - two evenings when I leave the house and he gives them dinner and puts them to bed, and then for about 6 hours on a Sunday.  There is so much I could say but I'm very aware that this is an open site that anyone can and does look at so I will leave it at that for now!

It is nice to hear from you guys who have since met other partners as it is really hard to see what a decent guy would want with a mother of two small children.  I can't even imagine how you meet anyone given the limitations on going out (not that I'm a big going out kind of girl - more dinners with friends and that sort of thing).

Everyone of us is very strong!! It takes a strong person to be a single parent, and in ways it is easier, you get to make all the decisions etc. Good point Codysmum,
i think at my age though not many guys would be wanting that responsibility.. most of them don't even want relationships! So yes, i will just enjoy my time with Jarvi

I must admit, financially we are pretty borderline and that would be my biggest worry at the moment.  But...we are managing and if I'm honest there are still things I could cut back on (like the internet I suppose!!).  I'm banking on these early days being the hardest in terms of finances. 

I can't remember - are you doing any paid work or are you full time at home?  I work two days a week which works out to be the only way I can survive.  It also gives me a bit of a break from the world of children (which I love but can't handle full time!). 

In terms of partners...I'm enjoying the time to myself in many ways.  I had forgotten many of the things that were important to me (in letting someone else's priorities rule our world) so it's nice to be finding those things again.  If someone turns up...great...if not...oh well!

 

codymum, take everything to winz!!! everything that u have, the bigger the better, if u dont they will send you away to get them seriously, every account, birth cert, bill, statement you can lay your hands own. My hubby left 2 months ago and i have three kids and a morgage! jack my youngest is chronically unwell and so i am on a carers benefit as i cant go to work as well. i hit a crappy manager first time and then asked for another and she is FAB, solo mum herself.
As for me, well i have been with him for 13 years and married for 11. He had another breakdown in jan and been off work every since. then came home and decided that it was too hard and left with his suitcase. He now has worked it around that i have anger management issues and will not dicuss any reconciliation. lol forgot to ask me if i even wanted to! anyways i am now stuck in little town with my three sweeties,(one attched to a feed pump and catches every infection out there) two cats, morgage, all the bills that i have since found, the fun just keeps coming. My love and hugs and prayers to you all. I am doing my best which is sometimes not so great. but getting there. We have been given some home help which is great and am off to ronald mcdonald family retreat in october ... this IS my light of fun at the end of the tunnel. thanx heaps for making me feel not so alone for just a little while xoxo
caro

Rachel and Jack, I am studying full time too! It is so hard leaving the little ones, have found a really good daycare for Dal and they are really good about money.
It is so much easier once you have a budget, I think it gives you some feeling of control, which is otherwise lacking in my life :)

Drunstx-I am so sorry to hear of the hard time you are having, this is my light too, after an especially hard day, it is comforting to know that there are others who understand what Im going through.

You have given me hope that there will be someone out there who will be loving and accepting for Dal. I don't see it happening anytime soon, guys my age are not really interested in girls with babies, I find it hard, because there are many nice guys out there but I find myself cutting it all off before they know that I have a son, I think the fear of being hurt and judged by them is too much for me to actually try to have any sort of relationship, and I find myself shutting everyone out :( But I hope in time it will be better!

Codysmum how did you go with WINZ?  Did you get to see someone helpful?  And are you going to need baby stuff or do you have a stash already?  I have been sorting through baby stuff and have mostly girls stuff, but a few bits and pieces for boys too.  Will also have a full set of Avent bottles if you are a bottle feeder, and I have bassinet sheets (homemade but perfectly good!).  If you are going to need things I can just put those aside and work out a way to get them to you at some point.

And RachandJack how are you guys doing?  Any luck with car and house?

 

Thats great CodysMum!

My car is still getting fixed and is going to cost heaps So once I have that sorted I will figure out a budget and start looking.

How are things with you Kate?

Hey Codys mym , WINZ should be able to help you with bond money and then you just pay it back , when i was on the DPB and i moved house winz paid my $1000 bond and i just pay them back at like $15 a week or something like that . And yea DPB isnt much if you have other bills like credit cards , i was in the same situation when i was on it , iv got a credit card i had before i got pregnant so i have to pay that back weekly too , I personally found i had to go back to work after a year becuase i found money to be way too tight , also because my DP and i became more serious, altho we wernt living together and he wasnt finacially suporting me at all i didnt want to be dobbed in for being in a relationship or anything . In saying that moneys still dam tight cos im only doing part time , i dont really want to work full time before amelias 2 if i can help it .

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Edited by RicKer