Newly single and VERY worried.

Where are you? I have a feeling you're in Oamaru but i have no idea why!!

I have only a few close friends for the same reasons - i am 23 and most of them are going out clubbing etc and i am at a different stage in my life. I will make new friends. Plunket does something for new parents, when i remember what its called i'll let you know! But your midwife will refer you when baby is born anyway. You can go to music and movement or other baby activities as well to meet friends. Playcentre would be another good one.

Oh I'm *just* 24, and so far have made friends thru my ante natal class, I was very lucky to have a young group and our oldest mama is 32.
Also I did a plunket course called 'Your growing baby'
You can join mainly music at a church or a playcentre.
Even meet up with other OB mamas lol.

Hun you'll be ok

Pillow_Fight wrote: Wow, so sorry to have you here! I didn't read all the posts coz I'm far too tired lol but I did just want to say. Ring winz, make an appointment and talk to a case manager. They can give you an accomodation supplement to help you with your rent. Once you get to like 27weeks, your midwife can change your sickness benefit to being on it due to pregnancy. I was on the sickness bene before I got UTD and while I was flatting I got said acom sup. If you explain your situation to the case manager they should help. How many rooms is your house? If it's more then you need they'll suggest you find somewhere smaller. What about finding a boarder until bubs arrives? And yup, DPB comes in when you have bubs. And they expect you to drag your aching self with your cracked nipples and cluster feeding newborn to the WINZ building and have you fill out 50million forms while trying to juggle you boob, your baby, your breastpad (without putting it on the desk lol) and hold the paper and use a pen. Not ideal!! lol I'm living rent free at home, I'm VERY lucky. I get $283.66 a week. this includes childsupport. I think. Who knows lol. If you have any questions or anything feel free to PM me. I've been single since before I even got my BFP lol. So I know how tough it can be. I'm more then happy to give any support I can xxxxx

Hey there, thank you for your support! It helps having lots of it :)

Yup, well I called WINZ this morning and it looks like im moving (they wont give me enough to cover everything I need), but some other ladies here suggested that I book an appointment with them and see how things turn out, they might be a little sympathetic. I only need temporary support up until the time I have bubs, then on to the DPB I go!

There are 2 bedrooms in my house. One for me and one for bubs. Our house is only relatively small. I would call it a unit rather than a house (but its so nice, hence why I dont wanna leave!)

I will definitely PM you if I need to talk! Its so amazing having good support :)

A lot of you guys are really young! I thought you were all a lot older :) Its even better to have people my age (round about) that know what they are talking about!

Edited by StephiG

I'm 21, my close mates have been really good about just staying in and watching crappy movies and making crappy movies with a few beers rather than going out and getting trashed and leaving me home all lonely and jealous and sober, haha.

It's so difficult with WINZ to get a definitive answer, every other person you ask seems to have a different answer, and neither the website or their pamphlets can give accurate figures.
Which is another positive to living at home when baby arrives and getting all the finances sorted, parents seem to understand a stand-down period or general uselessness more than a landlord does.

You did ironman!? you're my new hero! I was planning iron (wo)man 2010 and coast to coast 2011 until this unexpected little one turned up!

/threadjack

Yeah, a handful but nothing big or impressive like that. Just the contact series, and ones organized by the local tri club. I'm a runner more then anything else so mostly did marathons but was trying to mix up training with biking/swimming and thought it'd be a good goal. I'm a crap swimmer and not much better on a bike though so i'll never be a great tri-athlete. Fun though!! Can't wait to get this bubba out so i can run again, weird as that sounds.

Im 29 and feel like ive done heaps so far too! Most of my friends are good, but some just dont understand that I cant just go out whenever I want. yes, I could get a baby sitter but I actually enjoy spending time with my son

I was talking to someone who went to WINZ this week and waited for 2.5 hours to then get told to come back tomorrow with certain documents!! They certainly dont make it easy. I

You can ring WINZ and book and appointment to see them, that way you wouldn't hopefully have to wait 2.5 hours. When i ring WINZ i usually get an appointment within a week so if you plan ahead you should be ok :)

But in saying that i live in a smaller town so not sure if it is different if you live in a city :)

StephieG- I was in a simialr situation as you i was 23 and pregnant (25 now), i went through my whole pregnancy alone and at times it was really hard . Hang in there , you sound like you will make a great mumma . The benefits far out way the negatives .

.  have you asked WINZ about temporary aditional support ? im not too sure all the ins and outs of it but basically its a form of support to help you pay your rent if your situation changes , For example my cousin was living with her spouse and child and they were paying $310 a week rent ( in christchurch) , when they broke up she was allowed to stay in the house (and go on the full dpb) and winz coverd her rent with the temporary aditional support , She has stayed in that house since they broke up 3 years ago so i dont really know why they call it "temporary " she has basically been told that if she moves somewhere else she will have to find a house that is ALOT cheaper but because she is staying in that house that she originaly rented with her spouse at the time she can pretty much stay there and have the temporary aditional support until she decides to move .

Edited by julz85

I was 19 when I got pregnant with my daughter, me and her father had been together for, ooh maybe a few hours when she was concieved cos im preeeeetty sure I got pregnant on the first date (oooops )
We went out for 7 weeks, broke up, I told him I was pregnant,he freaked out, wanted me to terminate etc etc, 3 days later said he had decided he was going to support me and has ever since,he is a part of Caitlyn's life but my husband is more her dad in every way that counts than her bio dad could ever be....
I went through the pregnancy alone, apart from my parent's support but knowing what its like to go through pregnancy with a partner, its nowhere near the same,still at the time I was just consumed with excitement about baby so I didn't really notice.

But what you said in your first post, about you being the only one wanting to stay around for baby....life is not black and white, and as ideal as it might be, some parents really are better off apart, and its better for the baby to have two happy separate parents than two miserable ones together.
But even if it is just you who is excited etc, that is more than enough for baby, so long as he feels loved by someone, thats all that counts.

I know how hard single parenting is, I was a single parent for 5 years and I can honestly say its a lot easier with a partner,(well, a GOOD supportive partner ) but you will be able to do it, just take it one day at a time

Edited by TheKelly