TTC for 12 months +

Yeah that's drugs Icecream. Be good to yourself hun xxx

On being strong - honestly I figure a meltdown will come just not sure when. But after nearly 5 yrs and EVERY scenario you could ever ask NOT to happen actually happening somehow another thing on the pile doesn't seem so bad. I find being honest about how im feeling helps a lot. Now that ppl know what I've gone through there is a little bit of an expectation that I may not be feeling a 100 all of the time so I don't feel like I need to pretend. Lol am
I even making sense?

And having most of my close friends living far away helps! I get to deal with my selfish moments away from them.

Good on you nzvegie. Hope the dinner goes well.
How long is this brown spotting going to carry on do you think? It's so minimal but worthy of a liner lest I ruin underwear (tmi). And dh is hanging out for action (me too lol). And I'm dying to know when my next cycle will start.
That's just what's floating around my head at this stupid hour.

How's everyone else doing?

Bring AF and the ivf hey Icecream! Yeah I had a great time at netball last night. Felt fine which was fabulous. Stupidly went back sleep after dh left for work so now feel a bit dozy lol. Best I get up and make the most of my day.

Yeah I had a test Tuesday which was 1100ish so going down well. Another test next week. I hope like heck it's not retained products. I don't want to do a d&c again.

Thanks Nzvegie. I figure its pretty normal just a pain in the back more than anything. I have my follow up on 7th August, hopefully it's all settled by then. Had a really lovely conversation with the FA nurse today. Sending me forms for bloods and said I don't need to do them weekly since it fell really well (yep weird to say that veg!) Just need to have another in the next 3 wks so I'll aim to get that done before I see the specialist again.

How are you feeling?

God it just hits you sometimes. Currently walking down the street crying on the way to my ultrasound!!!! Gargh. Luckily it's sunny and I'm wearing y sunglasses

Awwww so the shopping didn't have quite the intended therapeutic effect then?! Suckity suck!!! Hop you're holding up well also!

Dont get the results. But said most stuff looked normal. But there was something on/in my uterus which she measured (maybe related to miscarriage?!) And muttered something about a follicle on one ovary - dunno if that's good. Mmmm my GP said he would call me with results!
Also like an hour before my scan I have had a tiny bit brown spotting!!! Like only when I wipe. Bummer.

Yay for bras that fit. I did that a few years ago, was eye opening. And now so comfy!!!

Hi ladies! Just a pop in to say hello - thinking of you all. JMM2B am pleased to see in my scan of the last pages that you are back with your DH - I hope things continue to keep blossoming well for you BC and NZVeg, still being strong amazing women I see And Icecream, yes the drugs can turn us into raging monsters - glad to hear your DH is understanding, I always imagine it must be hard on them not to bite at times! (or run haha).

AFM reunited with DH and is of course amazing. That first evening I arrived things were a little bit strange, I guess as we got used to being back in the same life again. The first time we BDd I bawlllled my eyes out after and kept saying I was sorry, and I think it gave him a window into how difficult things had been for me, but we haven't really talked about it to be honest. I think that he is of the opinion that there is no point paying lip service to it unless we need to, which is ok. I cried when he went to work the next day, sitting in the room that was supposed to be our nursery here (we asked for a 2 bedroom apartment to allow for a bubba) and cuddling this little owl that we had bought a year ago in San Fran, brought home to NZ with us, then sent to Italy to await our little one (the only thing I have bought for a baby). I had asked DH before I came to put it down in our storage unit, but then when I told him I had found it and cried with it he said 'I'm sorry...I didn't want to put him away' and that broke my heart all over again! Agh. Oh well, the hurt is both easier now I am here and with him, but also harder as I was much stronger about it all when I was at home because I 'had' to be because he wasn't here. I also feel massive guilt now I am back with him - misplaced I know, but you know how it is.

Well that little check-in turned into a bit of a ramble! Hope everyone is all good

Shimma good to hear from you, sounds like a very emotional time for you both. None of this is easy and you just have to take the emotions as they come out. Flip I got very drunk around Easter time and a lot came out then which really surprised me and poor DH
Keep talking about everything and enjoy each other
Thanks for understanding about my out burst - I had my cookie yesterday and it was not as good as I had made it out to be!
No more pills for me and hopefully my last af for a while! Not up yet but feeling rubbish

Bc good work on treating yourself to some well fitted smalls, I should really get measured as it has been an age

NZveggie - when do you see your doc about scan results?

Flip on one of my first scans they thought I had a septate (heart shaped) uterus - no one since has seen anything

Ladies when you were doing ivf or any other treatments did you take annual leave or sick time? Did your work know what was really going on? I took sick time off when I had my lap and was very open about it but I am keen to use sick days again but this time keep it quite. Hope to discuss with my boss and say I am going back into hospital for another appointment and then more investigations but that I am keen to just tell others I am off on annual leave for a week but altually book some as sick. Part of the reason is DH does not have much leave but could take it as domestic leave, bit of a pain working together sometimes. Maybe I just assume people 'know' something!