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Blankney94 
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 Topic: 10 day old unsettled baby
Posted: 07 February 2009 at 9:46pm |
Hi everyone - I would like to hear your experiences about your first days home from giving birth.
Our baby Brooke was really cute and settled at the hospital and about 2-3 days at home afterward. Everyone said what relaxed parents we were and what a relaxed baby we had - and I was totally gaga and over the moon!
In the last 3-4 days things have changed dramatically. Baby gets lots of wind and hiccups and is now very hard to settle to sleep after a feed. I am exclusively breastfeeding.
I breastfeed and she ends up full of wind, so I burp and change nappy and then she wants another feed because the wind is gone. That feed sets off the whole burping routine again. It is now taking 2-2.5 hrs to complete a feed and get her to sleep. Firstly it was just evenings, but now it is any feed, day or night. She cries for long sessions at a time, and I can't work out what she wants, and I'm being driven up the wall!
I have been very tearful in the last couple of days. I feel cheated because we had such an angel and now she has turned into a bit of a gremlin and to be honest I really don't think she is so cute anymore. I worry about how long her crying spells are going to go on for and if this is just for a few days or the beginning of something ongoing like colic. I'm also wondering if I have the baby blues (this is Day 10). I get tearful when she cries and also tearful when I'm discussing this with anyone. I don't think it is PND but more a feeling like PMT - maybe her crying sets off some hormones in me?
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Aprilfools
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Posted: 07 February 2009 at 10:15pm |
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You have people staying with you as well don't you? If they're not being helpful then that won't help the way you feel. Stamp your foot at them and ask for help and give yourself at least half an hour to take a shower and feel human.
Harper had a couple of days where he was similar to what you're discribing although he wasn't constantly crying but very restless and couldn't seem to get comfortable. We just went with it and I do wander if the heat was actually getting to him and making him a bit frustrated as it was only during the day.
I hope it gets better for you. Keep an eye on yourself and if you think you can't cope be sure to let someone know.
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AandCsmum
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Posted: 07 February 2009 at 10:30pm |
Did you get the bit I posted on Facebook about the bath & bicycling her legs?
Here is a link that has some interesting reading on Colic.
Colic Link
Hang in there chook....
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Kel
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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busyissy
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Posted: 07 February 2009 at 10:39pm |
Hi Sarah,
Congratulations on your wee girl, she is beautful.
I just want to say first off don' t be so hard on yourself. Just under two weeks ago you had a baby and your body is still full of pregnancy hormones, you are sleep deprived and there is so much to learn about your baby and being a mum. And it's not easy! Babies are generally very well behaved in the first week or two as they are so exhausted from being born, its like a bit of a honeymoon, then reality hits and it is very hard!
But if you continue to feel overwhelmed or very sad, and all of those other things then I would talk to your midwife about it.
Little Brooke sounds exactly how Isobelle was when we bought her home. Its horrible isn't it to have them crying and not know what to do. Turns out that she has gastric reflux.
Have you tried giving Brooke some Weleda Colic powder? We have found it to be very helpful in the past. You can get it from the chemist or Baby Factory. Get a little muchkin medicine dispenser dummy thing too and mix a little with a mix of boiled and cool boiled water. Give it to her before a feed and it should help her move her wind. With wind it can often be worse in the evening as they store it up over the day and end up with very sore tummies. Once the gas is in their intestine it is very painful and they have to fart it out, its a lot of work and very distressing for them.
Does she cry when on her back? Does she get hiccups every feed and/or spill a lot? It could be that she is getting reflux. Reflux is very painful for them and can cause that constant crying, our little girl was diagnosed with reflux at about 10days old. Try raising the head end of her bed a bit, under the cot feet, not mattress tho. You might want to consider a dummy too. Not sure how you feel about dummies but they can be a life saver and if she does have reflux you will probably find that she will love it. If you do try one I recommed the NUK latex dummy, it is the easiest for them to latch on to and keep in their wee mouths.
You could also have a look at the website http://www.cryingoverspiltmilk.co.nz
The other thing I would strongly suggest that you do is ask your midwife, or contact your local plunket office, for a referral to your local Family centre. Family centres are there to help you with feeding, sleeping issues, reflux and pnd.
Another thing you could do is ask your partner to try to burp her. Men hold babies differently, straighter, and it helps them bring their wind up better.
It will get better, just hang on in there. 
Edited for absolutely dreadful spelling mistakes! 
Edited by Saffron
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BeLoved
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Posted: 08 February 2009 at 7:57am |
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Hi Sarah
Your post reads exactly like myself and DD just a few weeks ago. We came home from hospital with a dream baby and that lasted approx 2.5 weeks, then it was like it all changed over night! I felt like my bonding with her took a huge step backwards and I cried all the time, I was on the phone to healthline crying even! After a terrible pregnancy with lots of complications everyone said you will have a dream baby, but no it felt like it was all going against me and I could do nothing to help her, anyway things did get better.
Heres is a list of the things that worked for us and a bit of a timeline:
- I tried gripe water it did not help
- Ended up being told I had an overactive letdown - too much milk and too faster flow so I just fed on one side for each feed which meant DD got more hind milk and the flow slowed down which caused less wind plus less fore milk meant she did not get a sore tummy
- It was really hard to wind DD so I followed the baby whisperer (sharlene poole) advice on winding
- Started using infacol - you can get it from the supermarket and they only need to 0.2ml so its easy to get in before a feed. This stuff was like my best friend and DD's too. She burped really well most of the time.
- We used the pram pushed back and forth over a bump (e.g. the vacumm cleaner cord or the like) to get her to sleep if she was beside herself
- My MW suggested bouncing on a swiss ball with her which DH would do and this settled her as well
- First doc visit they said colic but I was convinced it was reflux as the crying was throughout the day not just at night. Gave us gaviscon which did not work.
- Also she had the hiccups alot and would be swallowing all the time even in her sleep which made me think reflux
- Went to an osteo and had cranial done on DD this seemed to help a little
- Elevated her cot
- She has a dummy (NUK silicon one) and this is a life saver, can take awhile to get them to take it but once they do ti soothes them so much
- Went back to doc as she was getting worse, the screaming was all day everyday, doc prescribed losec for reflux
- After about 3 days on the losec we saw a definite improvement
- Things like colimed, colic powder and other remedies can be great too if the work for your baby.
DD is now 8.5 weeks old and she is an absolute delight, it felt like the longest 5 weeks at the time. I was so thinking I would give up BF but we got through it and DD just has a FF before bed. She has slept from 8 - 6 for the past 2 nights now and has finally started smiling and is happy when she is awake instead of screaming. Her cries have become a normal baby cry instead of painful scream.
When everyone said to me she will get better around 6 weeks I thought how can I wait that long but they were kinda right. I felt so bad for wishing the time away so that we could get to 6 - 8 weeks and I worried I had PND but it did turn around and I can honestly say those hard weeks were totally worth it. There is a good article in the latest treasures mag about crying babies.
Big hugs to you! Sorry for the long post but wanted you to know you are not the only one and things do improve.
Edited by HeidisMum
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JoJames
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Posted: 08 February 2009 at 9:27am |
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I had the exact same baby! MW was so impressed at how good he was and how well he slept then 3 weeks into it-crazy unsettled.
I won't repeat what people said, but we pretty much did what Heidis mum did, tho J doesn't have reflux, he just had a real sore stomach for the first 3 months. I definately got easier by 8 weeks and by 3 months he settled down so much he was like a new baby.
I would second the swiss ball, that was the best thing we tried, DH could make him go to sleep everytime. And the osteo if you can afford it is always worth a try. And the dummy is great for wind.
And keep her upright for at least 15 minutes after a feed, Feeding will get easier and shorter.
And if she is really crying and beside herself run a hot bath (how hot you would have it) and lower her into it, it will relax her, or you cold just get into the bath with her and relax both of you.
I promise it does get easier, and these weeks are only a short time in the long run. Good luck
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JoJames
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Posted: 08 February 2009 at 9:30am |
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You should still be under your MW so make sure you kick everyone out of your house while she is there so you can have an open and honest discussion about how you are feeling.
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angel4
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Posted: 08 February 2009 at 10:39am |
The first 6weeks are hardest hun. Then you start to get a feel for your baby and what they need. Dont' be so hard on yourself. Makes sure you get some sleep if you can while bubs is sleeping. It will get better. She loves you more than anything else in the world - always remember that.
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WRXnKids
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Posted: 08 February 2009 at 11:10am |
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The first weeks are definitely the hardest and there is light and the end of the tunnel. It could be as simple as a growth spurt (josh would get unsettled and feed more often during these) or it could be something you have eaten that causes wind or maybe just a small intolerance you could cut back on dairy or wheat and see if it makes a difference. Ring your midwife if it all gets too much she will be able to visit and give her opinion of what could be causing the unsettledness.
CUTE CUTE wee girl and congrats again.
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peanut butter
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Posted: 08 February 2009 at 11:10am |
Sarah, sounds COMPLETELY normal. Yet another thing they dont tell ya huh? I am having that with James but it is getting better . Last night was an exception to that . One thing to bear in mind is that breastfed babies dont always have much wind so sometimes you can spend ages trying to get a burp out and one just isnt going tohappen. I remember reading somewhere if you have been trying to burp them for 5-10 min and got nowhere...give up..it aint happening.
Last night James screamed from 12.30 to 2.30 and fed off 4 boobs in that time (2x eac side...I dont have 4). I tried everything. I think he had an upset tummy as he did a massive poosplosion but was still upset. Lying him on his tummy across my knee helped and he also really likes having his bottom patted...quite firmly. I have found that gentle patting or rubbing isnt enough, you have to be reasonably firm. Usually when I start patting his bottom his eyes start to roll back and he drops off..only to wake as soon as I put him down.
Bicycling the legs works too. And lots of patience and shushing. Sometimes I think they just dont want us to put them down.
It does get better
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FionaO
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Posted: 08 February 2009 at 11:14am |
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Just wanted to offer big hugs really.
My experience very similar but for different reasons, the few days in hosiptal everyone was saying how cruisy he was, we got home and he slept through everything slept easily, and we had to wake to feed etc etc.... and I was sure it was all good.
Then it all changed, we had real issues with wind (only realised when I saw an LC) and I really struggled when Dh went back to work, it took me a few weeks to really bond with him as he seemed like such hard work.
We use gripe water, but all the products mentioned for wind are good, so give it a try and I agree about having a good honest chat - that really helps. My worst day i called an LC and just poured my heart out, I was terrified of PND as I had depression about 10 years ago and she was so nice and after that i felt a lot better and it was just baby blues
So don't be hard on yourself, you are doing a fantastic job, it takes time and I promise its SO worth it.
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Blankney94
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Posted: 09 February 2009 at 11:31pm |
hi guys typing this 1 handed while feeding. Sorry I haven't been on till now. saw a lact consultant today. she fine tuned my feeding to hopefully cut down on the wind.
just want to thank everyone for their support first it means the world to me. My hormonal weeping stage seems to be over, and I am now managing not to get so emotional when Brooke cries.
brooke was pretty good all day today and yesterday until we got to approx 9 pm on both nights. then meltdown time. not sure how long to leave her crying. she wont feed for very long either. Grr! She kept falling asleep at the breast tonight - I know all the tricks to keep her awake but they aren't enough. The hardest thing too is when I am trying to latch her, her hands constantly get into the way - like they want to be fed too. Anyway have tried several feeds and putting her back to bed, burping, nappy change etc, but she just won't settle. At least we had a good day though.
Thanks for helping me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We are working our way through solutions.... have tried colimed(doesn't seem to do much), gripe water (seems to improve things). I am going to try taking fennel on MW recommendation to reduce wind.
About to try putting Brooke to sleep again - wish me luck!
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AandCsmum
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Posted: 09 February 2009 at 11:59pm |
Have you got her on a dummy? I've found my brillant & I was against putting a dummy in my kids mouth's! I've found it's helped with Cooper's wind.
Yeah what is with those hands! Funny how they really want food but stick a hand in the mouth instead!
Have you tried wrapping her for her last feeds? Makes them like a stiff bundle so they are easier to position.
But good on you for having a break through. I always said that learning to breast feed is much harder than anything else I've every had to learn.
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Kel
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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Blankney94
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Posted: 10 February 2009 at 12:50pm |
Thanks Kel - yeah the breastfeeding thing is a lot more difficult than I imagined. Doesn't help that I was shown at least 3 different ways at the hospital. I do swaddle Brooke for sleeping but find I can't get the latch right for feeding with the swaddle on because of her arms packed in front, and also she gets dozey with being too warm.
Tried the bicycling the legs last night. We are trying various methods. Think wee madam is getting better at sorting burps herself too. I also use the Sharlene Poole method.
HeidisMum - I was on the Plunket Line crying too!   And also I felt our bonding took a hit - but Brooke is giving me some smiles again now. But when it was hard I just didn't find her cutey cutey anymore and felt so guilty about that. The infacol stuff sounds good - esp the small dose.
Hey WRX - nice to hear from you again! Am cutting down on dairy from today to see if it makes a difference - but will still keep eating yoghurt which has the probiotics.
Haven't tried a dummy yet but we have them in the cupboard - in case of emergency . I don't want Brooke getting addicted to it, but if I knew I could wean her off them later I would consider it.
Saffron - What is the colic powder - is it mixed with water and can be given in a syringe? Also does a baby have to be spilly to be considered refluxy? Mine doesn't get big spills but we have been getting up some whopper burps lately (followed by swallowing - but usually only night-time). She gets lots of hiccups - maybe every second feed.
April - yes we did have DH's Dad staying with us. He was pretty good - I couldn't spend much time with him, but he didn't get in the way either. There was one time where DH took Dad out for the day and I had to send for rescue so they came back. I felt pretty bad, but that was on one of my really horrible days though. DH is very hands on, so I am lucky, but there are still some days where I don't even get to read the paper and I kinda don't feel human if I can't have 5 mins to myself.
At the Lact Consultant yesterday I was told to de-latch Brooke if I noticed her latching wrong. Well I think the whole appt made her quite tired with all the practising and re-latching. So in the end she was getting 5-10 min breastfeeds for the rest of the day where she would doze off.
I was left with no option really but to put her to sleep last night knowing she would be up again soon. She just wouldn't settle after 2 hrs, I finally gave her an EBM bottle and was able to get about 60 ml into her. Must have done the trick because eventually she slept.
Sorry guys - a lot of waffle and venting - but it's so nice to have understanding people to talk to! 
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busyissy
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Posted: 10 February 2009 at 3:36pm |
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Hi Sarah,
Im glad to hear that things have been improving a little bit.
No, a baby doesn't have to be spilly to have reflux, that is called silent reflux. The acid still rises up the throat and burns and that causes them to cry. Does she cry after the hiccups and/or burps? Another sign is that reflux babies tend to be quite poor sleepers during the day only down for around 45mins at a time.
The colic powder is a natural remedy, it has fennel, and chamomile in it and it is lactose based so babies love the taste. You mix 1/4tps with a tsp of warm water and give as a preventative before feeding. You could definately mix it up and syringe it in. You can get it from the chemist or baby factory.
There are also some herbal nursing teas (for Mum) that you can drink to help baby with wind problems, they have the same sorts of ingrediants in them.
Ive had friends who had great success with Infacol drops but Isobelle got very upset on them. The other one you could try is good old gripe water, just get it from the supermarket. It is fennel based too but tastes awful.
Another thing I was told to do with Isobelle was to only let her feed for a minute or two then de-latch, burp, re-latch. Such a pain tho, I gave up on it because she would either just scream about having her meal taken away or not re-latch and then would have a terrible sleep.
Its so hard to know if you are doing the right thing isn't it? Thats what I find the hardest about being a mum. And you can waffle as much as you want, thats whats so great about these forums there are so many supportive and knowledgable mums out there. I wish I had known about it when I had Dominic.
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Blankney94
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Posted: 10 February 2009 at 6:34pm |
Thanks for your replies. Have gone and bought some Infacol for bubs and fennel tablets for me.
Was wondering about that silent reflux thing - thanks for telling me Saffron. And yes Brooke is often upset with her burping and hiccups.
Today Brooke is still doing the unsettled thing - usually doesn't happen in the day, so wonder what tonight will be like.
She didn't really settle after her 1 pm lunch feed, ie 2-3 hours. When I got her up (4 pm) she was really screaming - not the typical 'I want a feed' cry, she breastfeed for only 5 mins before going out like a light and couldn't be woken for the rest of her feed. I put her back to bed and this time she has settled - but without a full meal. Two theories about the short feed:
1. She wants to be comforted by suckling.
2. She has acid at the back of her throat which is relieved by a short drink, and then she wants straight back to sleep.
Maybe I'm just a few time Mum being over-reactive with my hypothesising. I'm sure things could be better for the wee girl though.
Edited by SarahMM
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busyissy
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Posted: 10 February 2009 at 6:46pm |
Unfortunately until they can tell us what is wrong it is a long guessing game! I think we all over think and hypothese about what is happening with our little ones. The thing is to trust your instincts, you know Brooke best, you spend all day with her and you know her cries, when things are right and when they are wrong. Do you know that you can ask your midwife to refer you to a pead? We saw one when Isobelle was 2 weeks old and it was free too.
Might be worth a shot, could give you some valuable answers or even just peace of mind.
I hope tonight goes well
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BeLoved
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Posted: 10 February 2009 at 6:55pm |
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Sarah - honestly what you say sounds so much like my experience, Heidis reflux is silent so no spilling. She just use to cry and cry all the time and in the end I just knew something was not right. For a few days it would be always crying in the afternoon/night and it progressively got worse & worse, to the point that I thought exactly what you said, things must be able to be better for the poor wee baby, i just knew that constant crying was not right, and thats why I went back to the doc & insisted they look more into it.
I honestly think once BF is established the dummy will do no harm and there are hundreds of babies who have had dummies and don't anymore, so don't worry about forming a habit. The dummy is a life saver sometimes if they are wanting to suck for comfort.
I tried cutting our certain foods to the point I did not know what to eat! Now I eat what I want as it did not seem to make any difference after 2 weeks of no dairy.
I have never experienced anything like not being able to comfort my baby, and I felt like everyone else could give her some comfort except me as I was so worked up about her crying I think I just made it worse for her (passing on my anxiety etc. to her) I felt like a complete failure. And also like I had been tricked in the beginning when everyone kept saying I had a dream baby.
In our case once silent reflux was diagnosed and we tried the meds she really did turn a corner. The constant swallowing stopped, her burps and hiccups did not upset her anymore and she has just got happier & happier.
Go with your instinct if you think there is something causing her crying and discomfort push it with your doc to look into it and help you to help her. My heart goes out to you, I know how distressing it is! Big Hugs for you & Brooke!!!
edited for spelling
Edited by HeidisMum
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WRXnKids
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Posted: 10 February 2009 at 7:55pm |
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We were giving josh infacol and gripe water at different stages i think we found gripe water the better one. Have you tried raising one end of the cot? If you cant put something under the legs a book or rolled sheet under the mattress works it helped josh a bit. I highly recommend the dummy as well we were lucky he got sick with a cold at about 4mth and decided he didnt want it and never used it again but it was a life saver for settling him but i had to stop breastfeeding at 2 weeks so wasnt worried about it possibly affecting his latch.
I was also told an osteopath is a lifesaver and really helps unsettled babies but i never got round to booking an appointment
When josh was that young he was like a robot every 3 hours he was hungry. He would wake be fed burped then changed and settle (take about an hour once fine tuned) and then sleep 2 hours then wake. Day and night you could almost set a watch to him. It was so exhausting but you get use to it and the sleeps do eventually get longer.
If you ever get burnt out and are ready to lose the plot and have noone to help give me a text i can watch brooke if you just want a few minutes to yourself or even if you just want a chat and coffee (although josh is at the destroy/terrorize stage which might be more stressful)
Dont worry i havent stopped stalking you on here yet hehehe i was hoping you would post so i could get my fix
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Blankney94
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Posted: 12 February 2009 at 11:08pm |
Hi WRX - yes we have made one end of the cot higher by inserting a new base board and propping it up at one end. I haven't been able to find an Osteo - the only one in the ph book is not taking new clients. Do you know of any?
Things are getting better and worse - if that is possible. I am learning to read Brooke's signals better so can respond better. But she has had three big upchucks in just over a 24 hr period. It's distressing to watch it all come up, and then you wonder whether to feed her again because by then she is overdue for her sleep.
HeidisMum - two of Brooke's big spills have happened just after I have laid her down in her basinnet, even though I'd spent at least the previous 20 mins rocking, burping, walking her to try to get all the wind up. Sound familiar?
Seeing MW tomorrow so will go over my concerns with her.
Brooke is very settled on outings we have found out! (And less settled at home - weird!) She just loves her car rides and is now used to her capsule, doesn't mind the noisey traffic up town. Went to antenatal group meeting today with Brooke, and also a La Leche meeting, and introduced her to my workmates as well.
From speaking to the other new Mums it seems some have much worse problems - one baby won't gain enough weight and stays awake all day then feeds 2 hrly at night! Another lady, her milk didn't even come in. So I should be grateful.
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10 day old unsettled baby
