2 y/o sleep issues

Need some advice please!

Since our DD has been in a bed (4 months) we've had real problems getting her off to sleep at night, for nearly a year before that we had a night time routine then we would put her into her cot, sometimes with a book and she would settle herself off to sleep quite happily, asleep between 7 - 7.30pm, awake around 6am

We still have a routine, only difference now is no bottle and no sleeping bag.

Now 90% of the time we have to lie with her, she freaks out if we try to leave the room, real tears and hysterical, if we're lucky she's asleep by 8.30pm, last night it was 10.45pm!!!!! You would think she's tired, but she's still up at 6am!

We struggle with day time naps, the days she does nap, she sleeps for 1&1/2 - 2 hours, those days are the ones she's up till after 10pm, the days she doesn't nap, she's asleep around 9.30pm

The nights we can convince her it's okay if we leave she mucks around in her room and is still up late no matter how many times we put her to bed.

It's driving us to exhaustion, both DH & I work shifts, normally it's only one of us at home at night, so you feel like you're toughing it out on your own.

We weren't keen on just closing the door and letting her scream, she's quite a sensitive wee girl.

I'm also UTD with number 2 and starting to freak out about looking after a NB and a 3 y/o that won't go to bed

First off, big hugs - been there, done that and it was awful! It wont go on forever and there are certainly things you can do to help.

DD1 started being a nightmare to settle to sleep at about 16 months - we were forced to put her in a big bed after she started climbing out of her cot (and subsequently was terrified of it!) and things went downhill quickly. I was also 3-4 months pregnant at the time, panicing about adding a newborn to the mix, felt constantly nauseas and exhausted. Not fun for anyone!

We tried a lot of things, including just giving her three chances to stay in bed and after the third, the door was shut. Its worked well for friends, but not so much here - she would work herself up so much she vomited so we shelves it. For a good couple of months I slept on a double mattress on her floor with her just so we could all get some sleep - the second I moved, she woke and the process started again so it was easier to just sleep there.

I decided enough was enough when I was about 8 months pregnant. We ended up trying the gradual withdrawal method (although I was rather sceptical it would actually work!).

Initially, she would go to sleep if I lay down with her but I had been actually hopping in bed so we started with explaining that I would stay until she was asleep, then would go and sleep in mummy and daddy's bed. I also explained if she needed me during the night, she could call out and I would come and help her back to sleep (in the same way, key to the whole thing was not reverting back a step).
So we did that for 3-5 nights, or basically until she was easily falling asleep that way.
Next step was sitting next to her, again explaining what was going to happen, at the head of the bed (this one took the longest for her to get used to). Then the end of the bed, then sitting on a seat next to the bed (but further away from her than the last step). Sitting by the door. Sitting outside the door.
Eventually we got to the stage where I could give her a kiss, say goodnight and tell her I would be in the lounge if she needed me.
All up, the process took 2-3 months and so DD2 was born within that time - she went well backwards while I was in hospital (which ended up being longer than expected) but she quickly fell back in to the routine when I came back (I think we had to go back a step then though). It was hard work and felt like it would never end but that first night I could just pop her to bed and go back to the lounge felt well worth every minute!
She is now 2yr 9m and has been pretty good for a while now. We occasionally get her playing up to get to sleep at night, or wandering in to our room early morning for a cuddle but its what I would call normal and certainly much more manageable!

Whatever method you choose, you need to be consistent. It really is key in getting them into new habits. Good luck!

Like the new name Seraphine!

Edited by mumma2 one - 31 December 2012 at 1:01pm