A bit of a sad one.....

Ok, so this is a bit of a depressing one I'm afraid, so don't read any further if your having a weepy hormonal day......

While DF and I are very excited about having another baby, and just at the stage when we are starting to tell people, I am also feeling a bit sad. You see.... my dad is terminally ill with cancer, and probably wont make it to see baby. So I feel bad talking about it in front of him, as I don't want to remind him that he may miss out on ever meeting his grandchild. I also feel a bit strange about the whole thing, as one life ends another begins type of thing. But it just feels a bit wrong almost. I feel like I should't be just continuing on with my life, and having all these happy things happening, like a wedding and a new baby, when he is dying. Even though I know thats silly as life does go on, and he wants me to be happy. I don't know how to descibe how I am feeling really. It just all feels a bit odd.

I don't know what I expect from even writing this, I just needed to say it. So sorry for venting!!

Awww Nicola, that's so sad!  Sure, there's never 'good timing' for your Dad to be so ill, but this timing must just make the whole experience even tougher.   

I just deleted a load of blah blah because I realised it probably wasn't what you need right now!  Anyway - I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. 

aww hunny big hugs

Nicola, I just went through the exact same thing with my dad, he died 2 days before christmas. The end was pretty fast, so the hospice organised a scan for me so I could tell my dad the sex of our baby and we chose a name and I told him the night he died the name we had chosen. I was about 35 weeks pregnant by then. I tried hard to include him in all baby things that he felt comfortable with (he was very old fashioned), but I know what you mean about feelign guilty, and the whole circle of life thing, Truth be told it is probably tearing him apart that he won't get to meet your new baby, so he might want to know as much as possible. To be honest, I didn't enjoy this pregnancy very much, and I detached myself emotionally as much as I could, so as not to upset baby, that was how I coped. The whole "I'm having a baby" thing didn't sink in until after he was gone, and then it hit me like a bomb. Feel free to PM me if you like, as I know exactly just how difficult this is, having just been through it. Big hugs to you.

big

Aww hug's we went through this with my MIL we found out we were expecting Mikey 2 day's after we got married it felt awful teeling her just knowing she was not going to get to meet our little man.She died 3 week's later it wasso sad I think she really liked a talking about it tho I think she liked knowing that even tho thing's were coming to an end  foir her her children's lives were going on.  It is really sad tho not sure waht else to say really big hug's to you and your family.

Don't apologise! That's what we are all here for - for each other. So often in the 'real world' you have to maintain a certain face, it is so nice to be able to come on here, and be brutally honest about how we are feeling.

So sorry to hear about your dad. My DH's mum died of cancer a month before we found out I was pregnant. We feel so sad that she never got to find out about the pregnancy. However, when we knew she was dying I bought her a lovely book to fill in from TePapa called 'For My Mokupuna'. It's all about her life and is something we're going to pass on to our child in memory of her. Maybe your dad could do something similiar.

So sorry to hear you are going through this. My Mum had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and only given a few months to live last year (wasn't expected to make Xmas) when we got pregnant in October. She held out until Easter this year hoping to see the baby. We found out we were having a boy when we had the scan and chose a name so I could tell her before she died. One of her friends took her out shopping for baby things when she had a well phase around Xmas and she even managed to do some knitting for him.

Mum was really upset and almost angry when she first found out her life was being cut short. Your Dad may be going through this as well. Once Mum got over the initial shock she made the most of the little time she had left and we all spent a lot of time with her. We talked about old times, what was going on in our life now and things that were coming up. Her and I talked about the baby and pregnancy quite a lot.

If you want to talk just PM me. I know exactly what you are going through.