anti-social butterfly

Have been meaning to ask this for a while, but thought the problem was getting better, until this week!....

So my lovely, chatterbox, smiley thing of a girl (at home with just DH & I) is like a totally different baby almost every time we go out and do something social. At best, she is very serious and quiet, kind of just hanging back and taking it all in (fair enough!), but at worst she spends the entire time we are out crying and gets herself so worked up that she is inconsolable (and won't feed or sleep). She very rarely is happy with other people holding her (sometimes is ok as long as DH or I are near her), and this goes for at home too - MIL was over from Aussie a month or so ago (came over just to see Natalie), and every single time MIL picked her up or talked to her, Natalie burst into tears - not much fun for anyone!

This behaviour started very suddenly at about 2 months. Ever since she was born we have made an effort to be sociable, and meet with people/other babies at least once a week, and generally we go out and do something most weekdays. So it's not like she isn't used to leaving the house.

The one thing is that since DH & I have pretty much no family around to look after her (and she won't take a bottle, but that's another story!), she is really just cared for by the 2 of us. I don't know if it's because of this that she is uncomfortable with other people/places, or just her home-body nature?

It doesn't really worry me too much, especially as she's so lively and happy at home, but it does get rather tiring when we're out (and stressful), and sometimes I fnd myself turning down invites (especially when it's far from home) simply because I worry how she will be when we go out.

I guess what I'm wondering is if anyone else has had babies with similar behaviour? and also if they have grown out of it? I really thought we were making some progress, but she seems to have reverted a little this week.

My 2 1/2 year old was exactly like that as a baby, and yes she has grown out of it, although it was probably after she turned 1 before I noticed she wasn't crying around strangers anymore. I could never let others just hold her as it would end in hysteria so I never forced her to cuddle relatives or anything.

She is still a little shy around people, but once she knows someone she is a little chatterbox. It's just her nature to be a little more reserved. Don't worry about it ..it can be a little frustrating that they aren't like some other kids who seem to love other people, but they will grow out of it. She obviously loves being with mummy and daddy and nothing wrong with that.

thanks girls. it's actually great to hear that we're not the only ones, as none of our friends babies are like this (which also makes it difficult to explain why I don't let just anyone hold her etc - people probably assume I'm totally over-protective, but I'm just trying to pre-empt a screaming fit!)

and some of the July 08 mums have also had the great experience (on multiple occasions) of crying, grumpy-bum Natalie!

I think for me, the hardest thing is not being able to share my happy baby with other people & friends - even with our coffee group, all anyone has experienced is the sad, screaming version of my daughter!

but really great to know that an end may be in sight, albeit a few months down the track!

sorry havent been able to read all replies..but E was like that ...he is the opposite now though he will still hang back when he first meets people....it's frustrating isn't it..but hopefully she will be like E and grow out of it.. it was horrible when he wouldn't even let Gran and Grandad hold him without tears!

Edited by foxxy_one

Just wanted to ditto what Rach said - Natalie has definitely been getting better and more comfortable round people, and I wonder about the effect of the jabs on this week's meltdown. She is a gorgeous wee girl and she is a really happy smiley wee girl when she's having a good day.

DD3 wasn't so fussy about it but my oldest two are introverted and were very particular as babies as to who could hold them. Also they never liked being held by more than a certain number of people per day - pass the baby was a bit distressing for both of them.

My newphew went thru this at around the same age and my sister was told by a paedatrician that when she went out anywhere with him where there lots of people not to let anyone hold him for about 20 minutes and let him get use to his surroundings. She asked people not to come up to him (you know how people come up to babies and start talking to them right in their face) and get in his face and it has worked.