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MissCandice View Drop Down
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    Posted: 22 April 2008 at 2:30pm
An old family friend that i grew up with, had a baby boy on Thursday and he passed away on Saturday. He asked me to come to the funeral tomorrow. Is it wrong that i take Kylah, she will be asleep as i will time it or her nap.
I just dont want to make them feel any worse than they are as it must be so flippen hard for them.
~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~
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.Mel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote .Mel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 April 2008 at 2:32pm
Personally I wouldn't take her, but I guess it's also how well you know them, and how well they know Kylah.
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MissCandice View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MissCandice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 April 2008 at 2:34pm
They have never met Kylah, well he met her today and i also have noone to look after her.
He asked me if i would go, but i dont know if i should take her or not. I guess i could not go and see them later on?

Edited by KylahsMum
~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~
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Jessica View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jessica Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 April 2008 at 2:51pm
I think you should go to the funeral and I am sure they would not mind Kylah bring there, they know that you have her and I am sure that you being there is the most important thing.


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mummy_becks View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mummy_becks Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 April 2008 at 2:54pm

Could you ask them what they think of Kylah coming to the funeral??

The fact that they asked you to come means you should go.

I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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MrsMojo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrsMojo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 April 2008 at 3:15pm
I think that most people would assume that you'd bring Kylah with you. I'm sure it'd be ok, especially if she's due to sleep through the whole ceremony but maybe call him and explain that you can't get a sitter and ask if he'd mind if you brought her with you.
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Parki View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Parki Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 April 2008 at 3:31pm
I would def go to the funeral if you have been asked.
If I had the choice, I wouldn't take her, if you can't get a sitter then I guess you have to. I would suggest calling him to double check its ok.

It will be a very hard time for him & his family and while to us we think its a reasonable thing to take your daughter along, they may view it differently in this emotional time.

IMO


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Maya View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Maya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 April 2008 at 3:44pm
A close friend of mine lost her wee boy to SIDS 2 years ago and another friend of ours had a 3 month old baby at the time and debated not going to the funeral coz she had no one to look after her. She decided in the end to go and take bub with her, and our friends were OK with that. When I talked to T afterwards about it she said it was hard seeing other babies, but they didn't resent anyone else their babies and that they were too caught up mourning K to really notice much of what else went on anyway.

Big hugs to your friend
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KH25 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote KH25 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 April 2008 at 3:51pm
Like the others have said, she should definately go. if you can't get a sitter for Kylah then I would phone/text them to let them know that you will need to bring her along. When a friend of mine lost her baby (Ash and her baby were in NICU together) she text me the details of the funeral and also said that Ashleigh was more than welcome to go aswell. If she hadn't of, then I would have approached her about it to see how she felt.

Special thoughts to the new baby angel out there
Kelly, mum to DD, 19Jun06 (26wks 1lb15oz) DS1, 24Oct10 (32wks 4lb11oz) and DS2, 31Dec11 (32wks, 4lb11)
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Andie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Andie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 April 2008 at 4:17pm

Aw, how very sad.  Yeah I'd say maybe just ask if they'd be OK with you bringing Kylah along as you can't get a sitter.  But I wouldn't think it was insensitive to take her since they specifically asked you to be there (although I get what you mean about it) - lots of people would assume that your daughter would need to come along too.  I've not been there so I'm speculating here, but maybe a newborn coming along would be harder for them to cope with than an 8-month old.  Dunno, I'm just guessing here. 

Andie
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busymum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote busymum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 April 2008 at 5:23pm
I think it'd be fine, especially cause their baby was very young. IMO the age difference really makes a difference.
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MissCandice View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MissCandice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 April 2008 at 5:47pm
Yeah their baby was like 2 days old. Im oing to talk to him tonight
~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote my2angels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2008 at 7:02am
when I went to my friends wee boys funeral she specifically asked me to take Addison who was only about 8 months old aswell because she considered Addison to be part of his life and she wanted it to be as happy an occasion as possible and to celebrate babies rather than avoid if that makes any sense.
Guess it depends on the people though, I dont think I would have felt comfortable taking a child to another babies funeral I have been too.
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