confused, frustrated... help!!

Don't even know where to start with this really -- basically, our savings account has nearly run out, which means one thing - me going back to work. I had always said I'd go back part-time in Feb, once Cian is 6 months, but now I'm faced with it and the idea just fills me with dread!! Probably a lot of you out there that felt the same way and I should probably just "harden up" but I've always been big on trusting your instincts. Problem is, I don't know if this is my instincts saying don't go back or me just being lazy!

Then there's the actual work itself - I went on maternity leave from my job but long story short they didn't hold my job open through some loophole in the rules, so I can't step back into my old position. I've been offered another similar position with a different company part-time starting in January which SHOULD be ideal, except I don't really want it. But then part of me is really into the idea of getting back to work - I did use to love my job - I just hate the idea of putting my boy in daycare and really really don't want to miss out on him growing up in this first year.

There's also the posibility of a full time job that I can do partially from the office and partially from home - better money but will it work in practice?

But then the other side of the coin is that being a full time SAHM is beginning to get a little monotonous.... confusing huh??

I've investigated starting a business from home but this is far from instant finances and I'm not even sure I can pull it off.

But we also have the option of immigrating to Canada for a couple of years (I have family over there I'd love to spend some time with) - but we won't be able to go unless I get a job to save money for the airfares!!

Sorry for the novel - and all the buts!! it probably doesn't even make sense , but I just needed to get it down out of my head to try and see an answer... you know how sometimes writing stuff down makes it clearer?

really really don't know what to do! I guess a lot of the problem is that I don't want to make my choice, go back to work and then absolutely hate it and have to quit. that's not fair on my family or the employer...

arggh!!!

anyone got any magical solutions? or a winning lotto ticket??

I have no ideas for you gyps but just wanted to say good luck!! Hopefully things work out for you which ever way you want them too.

Sometimes it can really help settling your fears about childcare by going and having a look at a few. It is tough when you have to go back to work.

You shouldn't feel bad if you try going back and then decide its not for you. People will cope with it.

It sounds like you really would rather stay home if you could so in your shoes, the first thing I'd do is go talk to a budget advisor and see how much you are short by, how much you can work around it, and how much might be left that will need to be made up from extra income. They are really good at knowing any extra benefits/subsidies you might have missed and also giving a 3rd person's view over your budget as well. And then take it from there. At least for starters, I would only work what you need to to make up that extra income. Give yourself six months like that and then you'll be able to figure out within yourself whether you are up to more hours or not.

Hi Gypsynthia,

From someone who has been in your shoes hopefully I can help a lil!!

I had no choice but to go back to work for financial reasons when DD1 was 4 1/2mths old. I work part-time and while it was very hard to get used to initially (I would ring and check on Gabz every 5 mins) you DO get used to it.

I actually now enjoy working even though given the choice I would be home - part-time isn't too intrusive and you are still able to be there for your LO for most of the day and get in all of that quality time that becomes more precious and equally is spent more wisely :)

Also do you have any family member that can look after Cian perhaps? Or in-home care if day care is daunting?

Another bonus is that (in my opinion) babies benefit from being around other kids. Gabrielle is a super social girl which I credit to being around her older cousies while im at work :)

Anyway hope this helps a lil! Also might pay to check what other jobs are out there - it might be a nice time for a change and a fresh start?

thanks guys it really helps to know there's other people out there in the same boat and here your stories too!

I didn't know you could ring the labour department - will their number be on their website? to be honest as much as i loved my job and the company i worked for, I was pretty much written off the minute i announced i was pregnant and through discussions with them since i've been on mat leave it's pretty obvious they're not willing to be flexlble AT ALL with hours or working from home or anything so don't really want to go back there. it just sucks when people you thought were your friends as well as your workmates turn around and sh*t on you like that! anyhoo.... (deep breath, letting go)

alyxw - home based daycare is really my only option at the moment as the centres down here all have massively long waiting lists and because i procrastinated I won't get a spot in time - but I know what you mean about the social aspect. I had always intended to put Cian in a morning or two a week - just not till he was a bit older!!

hmm... yeah i have a sneaky suspicion that head office don't know what's going on down here - i've heard of at least 2 other girls in my area that have had similar treatment. maybe i should ring HR

I thought about doing homecare, and even filled in all the applications with Porse, but missed out on their last run of courses and i'm not really confident enough to take it on before I've at least started the ECE course. The next one they have starts in Feb so that's still an option for further down the track.

yeah me and DH are both really keen on Canada, plus it gives DS a chance to get to know his cousin, who is only 9 months older.

anyway - balls out of my court now - we got a call from our tenant saying they're moving out in a month so the thought that i could maybe stay at home has completely gone as we'll be out of pocket over $300/wk for the mortgage as soon as she moves out.

anyone wanna buy a house in hamilton??