For all the formula feeding mums.

I want to put out a post for those of us Mums who, for whatever reason, have decided to formula feed their babies.

I have just come away from the Doctor's where yet another health professional has let me know through offhand comments just how bad a mum I am for formula feeding my baby.

Why do health professionals have to make it so hard? Isn't being a Mum hard enough already?

I know and believe that breast feeding is great for babies. I did it for 8 weeks and then circumstances meant I gave it up. It was sad, and I get guilty days about it but I also know why I did it and how much happier both me and my baby are now.

Occasionally me and the other formula-feeding mums from my ante-natal class admit to each other what a godsend it has been. It seems ridiculous that we have to have this conversation secretly. One of us got bad mastitis, one had a very colicky baby who wouldn't breastfeed and I got postnatal depression that stopped me sleeping for days and diminished my milk supply.

In hospital my ravenous 10.2lb newborn son was crying all night because my milk hadn't come in. The midwife evidently was not allowed to offer me formula but told me that if i insisted on it, and signed a form she could give him a little. 5 mils later we were all happy and sleeping. Although I was made to feel as though I'd just given my baby illegal drugs.

Where do they teach health professionals to be so good at making mums feel guilty? I know new Mums who had a desperately hard time establishing breastfeeding, whose agony was made 10 times worse by midwives who made them feel that they didn't love their babies if they gave them formula.

As you can tell this all makes me furious.

Maybe the belief is that in another time and place formula feeding would not have been an option, so we should all be able to breastfeed our babies now. But that's a stupid argument because in another time and place lots more babies would have died - some wouldn't have made it in to the world at all. We are lucky to have the choices we have these days to make life better for our babies and ourselves. I agree that we should be informed and helped with breastfeeding, just as we are about vaccinating - another tough decision for mums. But once we've made our decisions can't we all just be nice to each other and respect each other's choices?

the only person who can make you feel guilty for your parenting choices is YOU!

Lactivists... I like it! The weird thing is when my stepmother had her kids by cesarian that told her that she absolutely could not breast feed and made her use formula! Amazing how trends change. One extreme to the other, hopefully the next trend will be a happy medium.

My BFF had to put her formula in a separate fridge to expressed breast milk when she recently gave birth at Auckland Hospital. The fridge for the formula was in a padlocked area, not easily accessable. She was made to feel that her formula could not possibly go along side the breast milk. How ridiculous!

It's silly how people act over FF. My mum couldn't BF me (I'm 19) as she didn't have enough milk and she ran out by 12weeks, so she had to FF me, even then she was made to feel bad although she sorta couldn't help it!! Part of the problem she thinks is because she had to see La Leche and they made her breastfeed even though she got mastitis which she said was horribly painful!

The lady who took my antenatal said because NZ is part of the world health org. they're not allowed to promote formula feeding or even talk about it! Which she thought was silly as sometimes you simply can't BF.

You shouldn't be made to feel bad about FF.

My mum couldn't breastfeeed and we turned out alright. Lots of kids who are breastfeed turn out to be little sh*ts. So really, there is more to how a child turns out than just milk.

People should def be more sensitive about it and it should be discussed and information made available, I think it is ridiculous and unfair.

Also think that Bizzys comment about noone can make you feel guilty...I don't know that is fair...if people are gonna make negative comments and make you feel bad then I would imagine it would be very hard not to feel bad about yourself. And the truth is that some people out there do actually enjoy saying things to make others feel bad....sad but true.

Bizzy wrote: the only person who can make you feel guilty for your parenting choices is YOU!

Fully agree. I FF both my boys from birth. Never once have I felt guilty/ashamed etc about my choice. Maybe that because I am 100% confident in my choice so am oblivious to comments and looks.

It works for me and my baby anad we are all happy about that. My MW supported me and hospital was fine about it. Both times I have never signed anything.

Weird that the formula was made up and in another fridge. I just pressed the bell and mine was brought to me....would love it if I could still get that

Was posting at the same time Jess, so wrote pretty much what you said

Bizzy wrote: the only person who can make you feel guilty for your parenting choices is YOU!

Toally agreed.

I do work in this field and I know without a doubt that any health care professional telling you you are a bad mother for your choice re formula would be severly discplined or sacked, so if thats what they said, you should complain.

KitKat wrote: I call them Lactivists...

SpecialK wrote: Kat, I called then breastfeeding nazis!

surely these type of comments contribute to the alienation and division that so many find...

and is a contradiction of this comment:

SpecialK wrote: The thing that gets me is that people think they have a right to pass judgement without even knowing the person or their particular situation. Every mother only wants what is best for her baby, and people, esp health professionals, friends and family could be less judgemental and more supportive.