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krisone 
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 Topic: dads name on birth cert
Posted: 12 February 2006 at 9:33pm |
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hi there im krystle and im pregnant to my partner he treats me good but to my famliy he treats me like crap and they say that if i put his name on the birth cert that they will disown me what do i do???? help
Edited by krisone
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james
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Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 12 February 2006 at 10:15pm |
oh hunny what a horrable thing to have to go thur i,m sorry i have no advice for u but u r in my paryers 
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mum2emj
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Location: Nelson
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Posted: 13 February 2006 at 10:46am |
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im sorry to hear that, thats unfair.
you have the right to name your babies dad on its birth certificate. its horrible that your family are doing that. at the end of the day you would be doing it for your child, and you have to do whats right for them.
its a shame that your family only see the bad side to your partner, and even if he crap in their eyes he is the father of your beautiful baby! and he always will be!
are your family serious? would they really disown you for that? my husbands family have disowned him and its really sad. i dont even know why, i think it was over something that happened when hubby was a teenager and it was so minor! oh well....
i am realy sorry you have been put in a yuck situation... maybe they will change their minds? i really hope so.
goodluck krystle. thinking about you.
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nuttymama
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Posted: 13 February 2006 at 11:16am |
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Hi krystle, what a horrible predicament to be in. I thought my family were bad! I can't really offer you much advice other than to do what feels right for you, you really just have to follow your instincts. I'm not sure what they are thinking, not nameing the father doesn't change who he is. I really feel for you and hope you can find a solution. Be strong.
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Maya
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Posted: 13 February 2006 at 11:37am |
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I don't really have any advice either, but I'm sorry you are having a hard time. Will your family change their minds once bubs is born? My dad was very anti me being pregnant, and very anti Maya's dad as he is Maori, but as soon as he saw Maya he fell in love with her, and while he doesn't exactly love Willie now, he at least respects him as the father of his grandchild.
Whatever your family say tho, I would go with your gut instinct on the birth cert thing. Whether your family like it or not, he is your babies father, and if he WANTS his name on the birth cert he is a heck of a lot better than a lot of other men out there who refuse to acknowledge their children! Your baby deserves a chance to know his or her father, and if he is prepared to be involved I say give him that chance. If your family are prepared to disown you over it, it goes to show that they are not really interested in what's best for you and bubs.
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mamawendz
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Posted: 13 February 2006 at 11:53am |
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Hi Krystle,
I can't imagine how you are feeling, and Im not sure any of us would be able to give you "advice". All we can really say is we are thinking of you at this time.
I think it is really sad that your family have given you this "ultimatum", but its also hard to comment on how they see your relationship when I don't know the situation.
You will know whats right. Baby's father has a right to be on the birth certificate, no matter what. If you think your family have good reason to say this to you, you will know. But if you think they are acting crazy (which they most likely are) you do what it right for you and your partner and your child and put his name on!
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mama_wendz
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 13 February 2006 at 12:32pm |
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Hi Krystle. I was wondering the same as Emma (Maya) - maybe things will change once bubs is here. I have no advice either really, just stay strong, and do what feels right for you and your babe.
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Chaucey
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Posted: 13 February 2006 at 1:13pm |
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I think your family are putting you in such a tricky position.
Have they perhaps considered that if it doesn't go well with your partner and yourself, having his name on the birth certificate is a big help when it comes to child support? (Not that I'm saying that that would actually happen!!!!)
Even though you know that he's great - perhaps your family might be placated by that argument?
Good luck. I hope that you work it out okay. You know your partner well and your parents well and you should be the best judge of how they'll react when the time comes.
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dads name on birth cert