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Jessica View Drop Down
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    Posted: 16 May 2008 at 8:52pm
Hi ladies,
I was just wondering wht you do on the birthdays of your angel babies. We lost our twins almost 2 years ago and we are trying to work out what will will do for their birthday. Last ear we scattered their ashs and just spent the day together. Now we have Lachie and we have decided we want to make it a special day each year but we are still trying to work out what we are actuall going to do. Any suggstions?


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fattartsrock View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fattartsrock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 May 2008 at 9:04pm
Hi there

My BFF had a sleeping angel in 2004. Her and her DH now have an almost 2 year old and a 4 month old. They usually spend the day together, they go out to the memorial wall where there is a plaque, and just spend time remembering her together, I think. What we do for her (her close friends) is we usually take her out for lunch or breakfast or something, give her a card or whatever and talk about anything, sometimes Emjay, sometimes not.

Not much help, really, sorry, just wanted to pass on my HUGS. xxx
The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Candkids View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Candkids Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 May 2008 at 11:00pm
wow jessica must be a hard time of year for you.

a friend of mine had her baby prem at 27weeks in 2001 they decided not to have medical intervention after the birth, the first year they did the same as you and scattered ashes , the second they planted a tree and got a plaque made every year since they have a picnic around the tree with their other 2 children and family


DD 10.5yrs
DS 6yrs
DS 11mths
5 little angles watching from above
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Jessica View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jessica Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 May 2008 at 9:06pm
It isa tough time but we are actually pretty good about, I think and talk about them all of the time and Lahe will always know that he had 2 big brothers. We haveplanted two trees fr them and I think we will do something like pnic together as a family. Thanks for your input ladies


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FallenAngel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 June 2008 at 8:58pm
hi jessica
i lost my Daughter Chaelo Ava still born at 5 1/2 months pregnant on 22/4/03 she would have been 5 in April This year i still celebrate her birthday and mothers day even though i have no other children every year on 22 april i release a monarch butterfly to remember her its just something that i do as my way of saying i love her.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote maudie23 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 June 2008 at 8:35pm
Hi Jessica,
I lost my daughter may this year, I have been thinking what I will do come the 7th May next year. We have decided to celebrate her birthday by planting a tree, my family are all in Australia so my Dad purchased a very expensive bottle of whisky and he along with all my family with have a wee moment where they think of Anika & toast her.
I don't think I would be strong enough to scatter her ashes, I have her ashes in a Teddy Bear, which at the moment is comfort to me on the bad days just to huge it and know she is inside.
Whatever you decide to do on the birthday of your twins will be perfect.
All the best Hun.
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Jessica View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jessica Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 July 2008 at 8:27pm
Thanks ladies, sorry for your losses, we had anice day together and just thought about them. Lachie will always know that he is not the oldest in our family!
Maudie how are you coping? It must still all be quite raw for you.


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mareeg View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mareeg Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 August 2008 at 11:00am
i dont have children but lost my twin nieces 2 years ago this sunday. I will go out with my partner and do something fun like the zoo that i know the girls would have liked, and i will buy a piece of cake and blow out the candles for them. ..
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Jessica View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jessica Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 August 2008 at 12:33pm
Mareeg, I think that sounds like a wonderful thing to do for them. How do their parents cope?


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MorgansMum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MorgansMum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 August 2008 at 1:36pm
Yesterday was the anniversay of a very good friends Stillborn daughters birthday, she would have been 6, a few of us decided to take morning tea and a bottle of wine around to my friends house and toast her DD, I later got a txt from her saying how much she apprecitated the morning.


Happy bithday Shayla
Morgan, Libby








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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote xoxTonixox Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 August 2008 at 9:02am
My baby boy was stillborn 41wks5days on Christmas eve 2006, for "Deegans Day" last year (I dont really like the term birthday or anniversary so changed it to this) I spent the day creating a Memorial Fairy Garden. All my friends, family even work colleagues had bought things for it and I pottered away putting it together, my family and some close friends popped over and helped a bit but essentially it was just me and my boy spending the day together and now I can sit outside and look at it whenever I want... I am currently 7mths preg atm and not sure how I will spend this year but know if ness I can just spend the day outside by the garden. I also have a Pohutukawa Tree which was given to me at my baby shower which is growing for him too.
RIP Baby Deegan & all Baby Angels xox
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Jessica View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jessica Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 September 2008 at 4:53pm
Toni, that is such a nice thing to do. I like that idea a lot. We have a beautiful tree that some close friends brought for us just after we lost the boys and I cherish it. We scattered some of the boys ashes around it. It has moved with us and I have lily and tulip bulbs that have also moved with us that I use in a garden for the boys hopefully we won't be moving again anytime soon and I can get something established for them.
How are you going with oyur preg? Are you doing ok, it is happy and scary at the same time, I remeember the feelings when I was preg with lachie, I still have lots of moments what if etc. You name an emotion and I went through it! I hope that you are keeping well. I find the forums a great place. Feel free to PM me anytime


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Jessica View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jessica Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 September 2008 at 4:54pm
Morgansmum, I think a morning tea is a wonderful thing to do, it really means heaps when other people acknowledge our angel babies


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Roksana View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Roksana Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 September 2008 at 5:18pm
It must be my pregnancy Hormones but I am sitting here with tears in my eyes!!

I have nothing to say but just pass on cyber Hugs to you all....

You guys are such brave ladies...

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maudie23 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote maudie23 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 September 2008 at 5:30pm
Hi Ladies,
After we said good-bye to Anika, it was the hardest thing in the world.
But you know I wil never ever forget my wee baby girl, the thing that is the hardest for me is Anika was born at 11.40am and then her cousin was born at 5.53pm.
She constantly reminds me that we don't have Anika and that she has a healthy boy.
I have decided for Anika's EDD we are going to let a pink balloon go, with a message just for her.
For her Birthday I am going to have a garden made with all girly colours and just one very special LOVE rose just for our week angel.
It makes me so mad when people say I am not a mother. Not only does it upset me but man does it hit a button that should not be pressed.
I am currently 6 weeks pregant, lets hope I can hold onto this one,
Finger and toes and everything else crossed.
All the best ladies, we all have a very special person waiting for us in heaven one day xxxxxxxx
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Jessica View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jessica Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 September 2008 at 9:15pm
That must be so hard for you maudie, especially with your neice/nephew. I think gardens are really nice, a place to just chill and think of our special babies.
I can't believe that people say you are not a mother. I hate the question, how many kids do you have. I often say that Lachie has 2 big brothers becuase I like to talke about them but I know that sometimes that makes other people uncomfortable. Lachie will always know that he has 2 big brothers. The SANDS group down here has a Christmas service every year and that i going to be something that we are going to make part of our Christmas ritual and I will buy each of them an ornament for the tree.
Good luck with your pregnancy, I know how scary it must be for you. Anytime you need to vent/talk/remember I am just a keyboard away.


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Roksana View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Roksana Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 September 2008 at 10:45am
Hey Maudi good luck with this Pregnancy...I will keep you in my thought and send you Sticky baby vibes. I am sure all will be well and you will have beautiful baby in 34 weeks!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote maudie23 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 September 2008 at 12:57pm
Thanks Jessica,
Its hard but you know I have to be the bigger person here.
She is just a money hungry, 23 year old who acts like she is 17.
It hard because she requested to have sam on the same day I had Anika, why could they not wait just one more day.
She was 36 weeks pregnant and had to fly to my wedding just in case no one in the family got to see another pregnant lady in the family.
this is what I am trying to put up with.
Anyway thats my problem
Thanks for the warm wishes, I hope everything will be ok this time as well. I can't go through May 08 again, it would be the end of me.
I am looking into special roses that have meaning, I think I will just have one rose for her.
Wow do you think SANDS so something like that in Auckland?
I would be very keen to go to a service for our Babies.
I am not the kind of woman who will lie down and take people saying things like I don't have any children etc, forever more Anika will always be my Daughter she will always be the 1st Born Grandchild and nothing not one thing or one person will ever change that. & by god if someone even tries to forget about her they will have me to deal with.
I hope everyone is having a lovely Tuesday
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Jessica View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jessica Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 September 2008 at 2:33pm
Hey Maudie, how is everything going? I hope that you are doing ok. I am sure most SANDS will do something for rememberance at Christmas.
Have a look here at their contacts http://www.sands.org.nz/national-contacts.html#auckland . Anika will always be yours and the 1st born grandchild, nobody can take that away, even if they are silly and immature!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote susanry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 September 2008 at 1:59pm
We lost our first son aged 5 months after he was born 8 weeks early with cancer. We spend his birthday (in April) by going to the cemetery and then having a picnic or going out for lunch, basically some quiet family time.

His angel day (9 Sept) is much harder, it was 3 years ago last Tuesday and its still very raw. We still go to the cemetry and play his song (our farewell song to him at his funeral) and I cry a lot. I also always light a candle before I go to bed as it usually burns out right about the time he passed away.

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