Family approval of DP/DH

I am posting up a storm today - very obvious that I have finished uni and am not making any effort to get ahead for next semester! hehe

Anyway, this has really been bugging me lately and I wanted some advice/moral support about it.

My sister and her boyfriend (who I live with) don't get along at all with my boyfriend.

It makes me feel horrible but I understand why... they are such completely different people. Jute and Gaz are both hands-on type people who are into cars, very family oriented and quite popular at school (that isn't relevant as such, but paints a picture of my 19 year old sis) while Zeke is a bit of an elitest (resulting from being geeky at school and now a law student [oh so much better than the rest of us!]), only child and who has a completely different sense of humour than Jute and Gareth.

I'm kinda in between both in terms of personality, but have this weird thing where I seek approval from my sister! Arggghhhhh.
I know it is mainly because of our living arrangement where I feel like I am living in "their" house, but it drives me nuts that I don't feel comfortable when Zeke comes to stay.

This won't be a problem long term right?!?

Yeah, I hate it! Arghhhh... she's younger than me too and I always feel like she's the one I look up to

I kinda can't wait to move in with Zeke, but know he has a bit of living to do yet before he gets roped into the whole family situation. And there isn't anyone else that would be OK with living with me and Han as Jute and Gaz.

Ah well, guess I just gotta wait it out!
Thanks Jax

I think its always nice to have approval of your other half from family and friends. I know Ive had a few past boyfriends that no one has liked and its been uncomfortable, at the same time I think unless the person is really not very nice then its up to your sister and her partner to make Zeke welcome in the house because you do live there to even if it is there house. My sisters husband is a bit like Zeke, a bit geeky, studied lots, now a surgeon etc, in fact he went to school with my hubby and brothers and was one of the computer nerds there but when you actually get to know him you realise he is into heavy metal and dirt biking, to look at him you would not think that at all. Sorry now Im rambling but what Im trying to say is that dont put it all on yourself, your sister should out of respect for you, at do her best to make him comfortable even if they are very different people.

Im with the others. If you are happy with Zeke and he treats you and Hannah the way you deserve then they need to make him welcome. Remember its your home too. Also if shes only 19 it could be a maturity thing as some ppl take awhile to get out of that school yard metality and I dont mean that in a nasty way.
Maybe have a chat with her about how much Zeke means to you and Hannah and how you would really appreciate if her and her b/friend made more of an effort. I mean its not like you are asking for them to be best friends just to make life alittle easier for you.
Good luck with it all

my brother, my SIL, my partner and I don't like my sister's boyfriend but we all know that we have to put up with him. my brother and SIL have been together for 5 years and Daniel and i have been together for 3 years so i guess you grow to know people as well. The other thing is that he is 18 and we all know what 18 year old boys are like, they know everything and they are always right.

if it makes you feel any better Nikki, Lewis and I moved in together after about a month and while I don't regret it as such, I think that it would've been cool to spend a while in different places before disvoering all the annoyiong things about each other straight away. then again, we were friends for a long time beofer we got together. Treasure this time while you don't live together. No moaning about him peeing on the seat, no argueing over whose turn it is to do dishes, no having to watch stupid crap TV that boys watch, no having to feign an interest in motorsports, no having to pretend that you don't just watch rugby to perve on dan. sigh!

I moved in with mike after 3 months and here we are, *cringe* 6 years later, lolol

And to tell you the truth, when i first met mike, he had ALOT of anger problems, his kunckles were spilt cos he used to get so angry he'd punch the wall or the door. his car door had a tiny dent in it from a run in with a tree on a silly night out (as all guys have now and then).. he tried to fix it and got so angry that he ended up kicking it so hard that the dent took up the whole door. he was a little firecracker - very fiesty getting very angry very quickly. my family didn't like him and i can see why they would be concerned, but well, I am now the only one who has a man who helps, he has calmed down (apart from the occasional outburst aimed at the car when he is fixing it) i have a man who takes care of the kids, cooks cleans does dishes and is a great dad, my other sisters are lucky if their man picks up a teatowel once in a while, and "nappy change" is definately not in their vocabulary. plus they like to dabble in a few illegal substances now and then... so here i am, now feeling rather proud of my guy and (i know this is mean) feeling just a bit like laughing, shows how much they THOUGHT they knew.

what i'm trying to get at is go with your instincts, and don't let others dictate how you feel about your man, cos in the end you are the one who is with him.

I don't really have a lot in common with my SIL, her and her whanau think I am a snob. In fact her family made it abundantly clear, even after travelling over 1000k to my nephew's first birthday that I was a stuck up b#tch, they even said so to my face. When they asked what I did for a job, I was a trainee Hotel manager at the time, well, that set them off. Oh, so you will really think you are better than the rest of us. Her mother said. Me, I personally (and yes, this is snobby)think they are white trash, but my brother is a little, too, and they are happy together, and well suited, so it is none of my concern. As we don't have to spend alot of time together (we live at opposite ends of island)it dosen't really matter. She is nice enough, though, just have nothing in common with her! At the end of the day, I say anyone who can put up with either of my brothers needs a medal!!

Awww I like these stories

That's truly reassuring Liz