Stop the world, I want to get off.

Motherhood doesn't mean you have to carry the burden all by yourself. I think you are perfectly justified feeling this way. You need your DH to give you a break and share some of the load.

Stace - yeah, I've tried that. So has my mum

He thinks that he does a lot, because he might wash the bottles at night, or make the bottles for the last feed...there is so much more to it than that. He'll get up at night (with a protest) if I thump him and tell him it's his turn (usually because I've been up for the last 2-3 hours and have had enough...I get to spend all day with them as well, while he gets to sit in his digger listening to music, with the air con going, with a lunch break, and morning and afternoon tea). Oh, and he does wake up to them at night, but lies there until I get up.

For the MIL looking after the girls thing....none of the family (including DH) want the girls in daycare, and would rather they had them instead. I worked my hours around that, and always having someone available to look after them. I take on extra shifts every week for that extra bit of money in the pocket so that we can do what we want to do (speedway - we're not racing this season, but DH is still involved in the weekly running of it) and still pay the bills.

sometimes i have to say to my husband... thanks for doing blah blah but at the moment i need you to do blah blah blah instead...    they think they are helping but doing the things i would have done anyway isnt really. and unfortunately men dont seem to respond well to the big lecture either.

sometimes its useful too to just "forget' things like planing and making dinner... so when he comes home you can say "oh is it that time already, i have been so busy with the kids being sick that i havent had time to do dinner. I guess we'll have something simple later on". If you are really lucky he will go make the something simple...


its hard being mum...

Have you considered sitting down and writing a budget? Only include in it what is "necessary" and maybe over budget a little bit for things (eg power, food) make the costs per week, and then you can show your DH.
He needs to learn that somethings aren't possible, and (no offence) but sounds like he needs to grow up and take a bit of responsibility, and I know how hard it'll be to get him to do that!!

If your having enough- don't be afraid to pack a bag and leave him with the girls for the evening. Walk out, don't worry about it, and turn your cellphone off for a few hours. Maybe go down to beach/river with a book/magazine and a wee treat (choc bar, bag chippies) and have time out and DONT stress about getting back there... Take a couple of things to keep you amused for a couple of hours, and hopefully when you get back he will be a bit more understanding!

Hugs Minik8e, it must be so hard doing everything on your own with two babies. I find it hard enough with one.

I have a digger driving DP as well and he is gone 13-14hrs a day, sometimes more, and when he is home he fluffs around making phone calls and watering the garden e.t.c, sometimes not even getting around to having his tea (which I've cooked while trying to deal with a grumpy baby) till 9pm. And when he has a day off he is normally off doing something or hunting or catching up with mates e.t.c.

I found this really hard for the first 7 1/2 mths after having DS (DP even thought it would be alright to go hunting for two nights when DS was 4 days old)but then I got an on call job (which at the moment works out to almost every morning of the week), so he has DS most Sat mornings and any other morning that I have to work and he doesn't. When we are both working DS goes to DPs sis who does in home childcare.

I have found that it is great to have some time to myself (even if it is working) and it is great for DS to be around other children and adults.

We still have major money issues since DP only gets paid once every 2 mths ( at his boss), and he still doesn't help out much at all around the house. (must talk to him about that).

Have just realised that now that I have typed all that I don't really know what I was trying to say. Maybe it was that perhaps you should call a family meeting with your DH and MIL and tell them that you need HELP and that you can't do it all by yourself and tell them what they can do to make it easier for you.

Sorry if this was a total novel about nothing

I don't have any useful advice, but I feel your pain Kate.

Thanks ladies, I needed to get it off my chest.

DH would never walk a mile in my shoes - if he's alone with the girls for longer than an hour, he head to his mums or grandma's house.

I have finally got them to sleep....on the floor...side by side. It's been 10 minutes so far, which is the longest today....

Hunnybunny - DH has seen our budget, I sat down and did one when we decided I wouldn't be going back to work full-time. He seems to think that it can just "appear" when we're running low though...not sure why!!

This makes today slightly better...



It lasted for about 25 minutes But they're playing happily at the moment...

oh they are so cute