anyone have 2 babies and left there hubby

In what respects of money wise?

Go straight to WINZ and apply for a DPB. They should be able to get you onto an emergency benefit if it's happened suddenly.
Just make sure you have your birth cert, drivers licence, IRD number and a bank statement and a birth cert for each of the bubbas.

See if you can go stay with a family member until your benefit is up and running.

WINZ can also help you get into a house, they'll pay the bond for rent and can even set up your rent payments to come straight out of your benefit.

You will also be entitled to food grants which I would advise you use to get yourself up and running in the food department.

Can't help with wether or not the kids will ask about Dad sorry.

If you are worried about Dad or feel you may be in danger from him in some way, go straight to the Police and let them know the situation. They may be able to help you.

Hope that helps

Good luck.

thanks mamapickle

thats wat i wanted to know to mum2mac.........my main concern is my son crying all the time cause dad isnt there......im going away in a few weeks for a week holiday with the kids and im gonna decide wat to do then.sort everything out.

There are also some great books and websites and courses you can take about Parenting through Separation.

Try find these so you can get yourself prepared for any possible situation that might arise.

guess you have to decide whats better in the long run... staying in an unhappy relationship or having your kids miss their Dad...

I know what i would choose.. Not an easy decision im sure.. but hope you find happiness in whatever you decide.

((((hugs))))

P.s... Children are resiliant and will ALWAYS cope with change
Good Luck

I hope everything works out and settles down for you........the hard part wont last forever.......you are very strong to be going it alone.......good on you, we are always here if you need to chat/vent/ask advice etc

thanks guys.....i tried to talk to my mum today and i knew wat would happen........she said H had been looking upset about something so i told her wat had been happening and she said to me that its probably cause the house is in a mess and the dishes arnt done......H has only one job and that is to do the dishes and im allergice to the chemicals in the liquid (you didnt need to know that) i just started crying and saying why cant he do the dishes and so that makes it ok to not care about your kids or want to be around them.....this is why i havent left befroe now........my parents paid for wedding (well most) and io cant handle the judging..that and i have no friends since i have been with H so im like on a boat just floating with no direction.........dont mind being by myself as im extrememly independet oh and the house was messy with toys but mother is a clean freak and we where only allowed one toy in the house growing up.......and i havent mowed lawns cause i have no money for petrol dammit........and to top it off ty goes into hosptial thursday for tonsitlies and more then likly has to stay the night which would be fine but i still BF so wat the hell im i going to do now...........my head hurts

TysMummy I have a 20 month old and a 2 and a half month old and have just separated from my husband so it sounds like we are in pretty similar situations although my children are younger.

Are you in a situation where your son will be maintaining contact with his Dad? If you are then what I've found / and what I've read is that it needs to be little and often in terms of visits at this age - it's hard for them to remember longer periods apart when they are young. It's also really important to reassure kids that their parents still love them. I'm trying really hard just to respond to my little guys need for extra cuddles and time with me. I'm also trying to keep everything super calm for both kids so that they have a fairly decent routine.

It's not particularly easy - but if it's the right decision for you then you will find a way through the hard bits. It's hard when other people are of the opinion that you should have stayed but in the end you know what is best for you.

Have you been to WINZ for a start? They can have money in your account the day after you see them if necessary. Secondly, what are your support systems like? You say there are no friends - but is there anyone you can talk to who lives nearby? What about finding out whether your Plunket has a group you can join? Even if it's just for a short while in order that you get to know some people.

You will get through this bit - hard as is it. And just remember there are loads of us on here in a similar position. PM if you need to chat.

Hugs chick, sounds like you are pretty stressed out about everything. Are there any Ohbaby folks out there you can meet up with just to vent?

As for the tody house...WTF? Who cares during the day, my mum says that there is no point rushing around tidying up after kids and wait til night time and you interacting with them is way more important!

Good luck and don't forget we are here for you.

Hugs hun!   Haven't been by myself with two kids, but was a solo mum to my first child for nearly two years. It's bloody hard but you do get through it somehow.

If you ever want a coffee/chat and a playdate for Tyreece, Sam is the same age and I have lots of stuff for little boys to do. We are in Hamilton.

I know how you feel Tysmummy. I have been in the same boat now for the last 9 months. I left my ex due to him being abusive and moved to the opposite end of the country to be near family however he has since followed to be near the kids. WINZ and IRD have been fantastic in getting every support they possibly can give me. I have found that I need to be very vigilant in keeping ontop of them, making sure they dont change or decrease my payments but they always fix any changes they make. I do live on the skin of my back teeth financially but I survive each week somehow.

Initially I found it really hard with people not understanding and not getting the support I needed but there are some great organisations out there that can help. One that is in our area - and may be a similar one around yours is a place called Parents Aid, where they will help you with the kids, housework and advice. They are great just to talk to and help get things in perspective. Another great place that I went to was woman's refuge, although I didnt use them to leave or to stay at one of their houses, they have some great courses, support groups and counselling services. You can also get free counselling services through them or also through WINZ if needed.