What is your signature move...

haha everything you've written sounds like I could have written it myself lol! I had that once when DP came home (he works till midnight and doesnt get home till 1am) and I had been up all night with T, been trying to cook dinner, clean up everything and do uni work, and I ended up going to sleep with T and left a nappy out and all T's toys out (was knackered was gonna pick it all up in morning) DP proceeds to say that he "hates coming home to mess"my signature move is that I say "f it just dont even worry about it i dont know why i bother" and stomp around until he apologizes because like you said its the attitude not the actual fact that he's not helping, he pulls the whole "i have to go to work' card on me all the time ... no idea silly DP

Eye contact and say "oh, ok" in a quiet voice. Usually that sorts him out, makes him feel bad or something.
If that doesn't work I will be a bit quieter (because I will be planning what I am going to say) and talk to him in bed.
I think if I tried the sigh and sulk method he'd get pretty grumpy back at me!

When I was with my DP he was terrible at saying that he was going to do what I asked but then get distracted by something else, so that I ended up doing it anyway.

He often pulled that saying on me as well and if he did I would normally say 'well can you look after your son''. At the end of the relationship he was hadly ever home anyway, so I got good practice at doing it all myself.

But Men just don't get it. They think that we spend all day sitting around on the computer (true sometimes), when really we have a household to run as well as a baby to entertain.

"yup whatever"

sigh and walk away

He once commented about the house being a mess. It was 9pm about 10 years ago. I got out of bed and started to clean the house from top to bottom. Not your normal clean but a skirting boards clean. So he lay in bed whilst I was standing on the end of the bed swiping cob webs and vaccuuming our room as well as dusting the lamp shades etc. Then the bathroom and the kitchen etc. He kept calling for me to come to bed and I said no. So both of us got very little sleep that night. Lesson was learnt well. I was also working a full time job and had a 3 year old.

When my DH tried to compare that being home with the kids was a walk in the park I booked a weekend away with a girlfriend. I only switched my phone on once a day and called so he was totally isolated. I think he appreciated what my day was like. He knows I go above and beyond now and since it is he who wants me to stay home with the kids so that he doesn't have to worry about it interfering with his career he really doesn't have a leg to stand on. I am retraining next year though and going into the workforce so that should cause a big upheaval to our lives.

He has a very stressful job so we know he needs to sometimes just come home and unwind. Usually after a stressful day he will grab a beer and go sit outside on the deck. That is our signal not to pounce until he is ready to come in. It isn't long and I think I need to respect that time. Just like when I run a bath (I only do that to destress and normally shower) he will occupy the kids. We have never set it in stone we just know that those are the signals for a bad day.

I have pulled the divorce card once. (not trying to make light of divorce and being a single mum here so please don't take offence) But jokingly said that I would get 1/2 the money, allimony (we were in texas at the time) and every 2nd weekend off which is more than I get now. It was said as light hearted banter and not a serious threat etc.

I have also pulled the 24 hour job card. I love being a mum but every now and then I just need a chance to recoup and recharge. So I have mentioned that I don't get a strict 8 hour day where I can leave the work behind. I get no annual leave and no sick leave and very little gratitude. That is normally after a particularly tiring day.

We are very lucky in that we don't have big rows and after 13 years we sort of have a mutual understanding. Because I don't ask for help very often he does help quite a lot when I do ask.

As for the original question- which I seemed to have completely forgot in my first post- when I get p'd off I tell him I'm p'd off, lol, name-calling & sarcasm make me feel better too! If he said something to me like the op's example I'd just ignore it & carry on talking to him. Nothing exciting I'm afraid. Actually if DH ever implied I didn't work as hard as him I'd skip the sigh & bang HIM with the pot. Maybe he knows that already?!!

Just to clarify before I come under fire- by name-calling & sarcasm I refer to comments made lightly to let DH know I'm annoyed, I'd never advocate personal attacks during an argument, that's not fair. E.g. He'll ask if I'm going to do something & I'll say "No because my husband's a moron". He does it too, his favourite one atm is "If you're not careful I'll take you down the beach & ph Greenpeace" (I complain I feel like a whale, which I know upsets him, he's proud of my preg belly.)

tictacjunkie wrote: Just to clarify before I come under fire- by name-calling & sarcasm I refer to comments made lightly to let DH know I'm annoyed, I'd never advocate personal attacks during an argument, that's not fair. E.g. He'll ask if I'm going to do something & I'll say "No because my husband's a moron". He does it too, his favourite one atm is "If you're not careful I'll take you down the beach & ph Greenpeace" (I complain I feel like a whale, which I know upsets him, he's proud of my preg belly.)

I was not referring to you....I have no problem what others do.

Just saying what I do

tictacjunkie wrote: Oh no, I didn't think you were, just I've said things jokingly before in threads & people have taken it seriously, so I thought I'd just make it clear what I meant before someone else took it the wrong way. =)

oh good cause I don't want to offend...

1 thing I always want to do is throw things but as I am the one that would have to pick it up...I don't...

A mix of sighing, talking in a dull/quiet voice and silence.